Have you ever said something and the other person asks, “Are you saying I’m (fat, ugly, stupid, etc)?”? “Am I misinterpreting you correctly?” is what they should be asking.
Rarely have I heard someone respond with a positive expectation, such as, “Are you saying I look fit and fabulous?”.
Why is it that, when we try to decipher an underlying meaning to a statement, we overwhelmingly err on the negative side? Why are we looking for some unspoken meaning in the first place? Take the compliment, or comment, and thank the other person with a smile.
Even if it is not said with perfect words, and in the order you would want to hear it, the other person is trying. If you want them to keep trying, practice and improve, then encourage them. Try not to shut them down quickly and resist their actual intention with a cynical mindset.
Now sometimes the intention of the person is not good. There are times the person saying the words have the intent to harm. Though occasionally it can be difficult to tell. Especially if you are looking for the negative, or you tend to the cynical side and believe most people have poor intentions.
Either way, this is unfortunate, unnecessary and unacceptable. It is usually the result of a childhood that lacked good role models and an adult life with little curiosity to improve. A quick, confident and genuine, “Thank you for taking an interest”, should throw them off and end the exchange.
The next time someone says something you might not like, before responding, ask yourself, “Am I misinterpreting you correctly?”.
Your Thinking...