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What Makes The Difference?

With so many varying factors in any given situation, it is often hard to say what led to what. What makes the difference?

Like watching those coin pusher arcade games, you never know which action will bring the result. It looks like everything is on the edge and the next coin will bring the jackpot. Despite never seeing someone win at one of those machines, don’t be disheartened. In life, that level of persistence and optimism can pay off handsomely.

Whether it is buying a house, emigrating or building a career, you need to keep trying and pushing through. Sometimes it takes an extra phone call or document or meeting. However, you won’t necessarily know which one will move you forward.

After the event, if you are fortunate enough to get there, you may look back and think you see the key moment. Though it may simply be a memorable moment, not a defining moment. All the other little things, combined together may have been more important than that memorable event.

All the grinding on the pitch, gaining meters, wearing down the opponent and getting field position may have been the critical work. The final play to get over the goal line was brilliant, necessary and euphoric, but set up by all that came before.

It may seem obvious, but what makes the difference?

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CategoriesActionGratitudeReframe your thoughtsTime

Christmas Cheer

It is right around the corner. I hope you have been getting yourself organised. Christmas cheer is starting to build and the excitement of the children is growing with it.

Hard to believe we are coming to the end of the year already. It has been a bit of a strange one. Though it is getting harder to remember just how well everything was going 10-12 months ago.

Thankfully, we are getting into the Christmas spirit. Hopefully cases stay low-ish and people will be allowed to celebrate a little more than some had expected. Less than two weeks to go so you best be getting the final pieces ready.

Although there will be some differences this year, do make an extra special effort to make this a memorable Christmas for good reasons. The good tidings will need to carry us through the three winter months to come. With foreign and even national travel being greatly subdued, no bank holidays and short, dark and damp days ahead, we will need the festive fun to last a while. Even if only in memory.

So break out your best behaviour and your biggest smiles. We will need all the well wishes and positive vibes we can get this year.

Enjoy the Christmas cheer.

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Just For Fun

These three little words can be great instigators of a good time. They create a light hearted atmosphere. When it is, ‘just for fun‘, it takes some of the pressure off.

You might say it before you bet on the horses, or head to the casino. The idea is that you will do something semi serious, like maybe lose some money. However, maybe you won’t bet too much, so if you win or lose it won’t matter much as the amount is not enough to change your day.

I recall saying this with friends or family when there is a little competition but it isn’t too serious. It might be swimming to a nearby island in a lake or seeing who has the quicker way up a small mountain.

There is a playfulness to this phrase with a little underlying edge to it. Although, once it has been said twice, you usually eliminate the underlying edge. But beware, that is not always true.

It can be a good natured reminder that fun is allowed and not everything has to have a serious angle. As we know, it depends on who is saying it and in what circumstances or context.

C’mon, let me have a shot at running this thing. Just for fun.

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CategoriesActionObserveThink About It

Searching For Clues

Do you have an obsession for solving mysteries, assessing situations and understanding interrelated details? Searching for clues seems to be something a great many people enjoy. Perhaps everyone does. Is it in our DNA?

So many TV shows, books, movies, careers, and relationships have an element of seeking the detail, nuance and unknown. Whether the theme involves mystery, romance, insurance, law, accounting, acting or discovery, there is a requirement to find information and piece together a story.

I have been a fan of the private investigator ?️‍♂️ world since I was a young lad. I started with the Encyclopaedia Brown books, moved on to Magnum P.I. and then to many different storylines after that.

Figuring things out tends to fit very well with our minds natural inclination to find solutions. Fascinating when you think that life is one giant puzzle and the mind is the ultimate enigma machine.

Mysteries are similar to a 30 dial (or more!) combination lock. You need to get all the information correctly lined up in a row to solve it. That can be either fun or frustrating, depending on its importance, its difficulty and your mindset.

There are still many great mysteries to solve including those of space, history, the oceans and our minds.

Until those are solved completely, we will remain searching for clues.

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You’re On Track

You are where you should be based on those things that have come before. You may prefer to be somewhere else, but you’re on track at the moment.

Everything you have done in life has lead you to this moment. Decisions you have made, and the decisions of others, have all contributed to getting you here. It’s a strange concept to consider sometimes. It can invoke different feelings about the control you have over your life and circumstances.

If you like where you are, you may feel confident and happy. If you do not, you may feel anxious, frustrated or concerned. Either way, you are where you are.

The great news is that you can change things. The quickest way to make a change is to look at things anew with fresh eyes and an open perspective. Gratitude will help quite a bit here. Right now may not be perfect but it is probably better than a Guatemalan jail cell.

You can also look five years ahead and decide that you will be at a different destination at that time. Write the story of what your life will be like then. Note down your age, your relationships, your occupation, wealth, fitness, health and lifestyle. Then decide what you will start to do differently from today to get there in time.

It’s ok. You’re on track.

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Play With Intensity

Do you participate or play to win? Do you get what you can or do you train, practice and excel? Play with intensity, whether it is everyday matters or a World Cup type event.

Those who excel play as hard in training as they do in the league finals. When they step on the pitch, they are competitive. They are competing against themselves to improve their skill, speed or stamina. A personal best is always close in their mind. It doesn’t matter if it is in training or match play.

You can laugh and carry on when you are off the pitch and the game is done. However, it is best to train your mind to be focused from the moment you step on the field of play. This applies to your sports as much as it does to your studies, your career, and even your relationships. Aim to improve every time you turn your mind to that subject.

There is always room for improvement. But someone who is always hustling, trying and putting the extra effort in, will be more valued than others who do not.

If you do not possess natural talent towards something, then it is even more imperative that you play with intensity. It will be noticed.

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Making The World Better

It is quite simple but often made more complex than it needs to be. There are two big challenges to making the world better. First, you need to pinpoint what better means. Secondly, you need to define the scope of the world.

The easy answer to those challenges, for many people, is to make things better from their own perspective and do it everywhere they are aware of. Awareness usually radiates out from their family, friends and relatives to work colleagues and people they interact with daily. Though, when pressed, they may think in terms of their city, country or continent and then all the people of the world, including fishermen on remote pacific islands.

This is where it can become more complex. When people try to make things better for people who are an afterthought or they know very little about. What would better mean? Could it be better health or lifestyle? Would more time with their family be better?

There are a lot of people who try to improve everyone and everywhere else. What if the answer was staring them in the mirror? Perhaps it is as simple as improving our own lives, within the context of making the world better.

If we used less resources and we were kinder, more understanding and accepting of diverse or dissimilar viewpoints, could the world become better through unintended consequences and the ripple effect?

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CategoriesActionGratitudeObserveReframe your thoughts

Winning Is Everything

Winning is often seen as the ultimate goal. To win something can show competence or dominance. When winning is everything, you can go a little mad.

It is amazing how we, as people, can get caught up in winning. There is a lot wrapped up in its significance. Victory is particularly important when your life is on the line. In days gone buy, triumph in a duel, or a shootout at high noon, often meant the difference between life and death.

If you have to fight til the death, there is so much more on the line. Think of military battles where people were killed on the field of battle or became a prisoner and suffered torturous conditions until they succumbed. Or consider losing in court, in the thousands of years before now, when death was often the prescribed result. The stories of Socrates, Louis XVI, Marie Antoinette and Anne Boleyn come to mind.

Fewer contests or situations exist today where winning is so important and losing could be fatal. However, sometimes, some people act as if victory is the only acceptable result. And because of that, they put winning ahead of fair play, sportsmanship and the rules. Cyclist Lance Armstrong and sprinter Ben Johnson come to mind.

Have you ever wanted to win, or support the winner, so desperately that you would even accept a little cheating? Think back to taking a test, playing or watching sports, an election or referendum.

Sometimes you go mad and winning is everything.

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CategoriesActionProgressReframe your thoughts

Today Will Be Different

Yes it will and no it won’t. Every day is unique despite being broadly the same. Today will be different for those looking for differences. And, it will be the same for those looking for similarities.

Broadly, today is just like yesterday. The sun rose in the east, crossed the sky and set in the west. It will tend to get warmer and lighter in the middle of the day and be colder and darker in the early and later hours. There will be roughly 24 hours in the day. (Technically a day consists of 23 hours, 56 minutes and 4.0916 seconds.) But the point remains that it is the same length of time each day.

Now for the differences. It may be colder or warmer and the sunrise and sunset may be about a minute different, depending on how near you are to the equator.

Now, as for you, you have choices. You can decide whether you want the day to be the same old, same old or to be different in some ways. For starters, you could set your waking device to wake you 10 minutes earlier. You can decide to be the most positive and enthusiastic person you know. Additionally, you could start a new exercise regime today or order better food from the shops.

The detail of today will be different, unless you decide to let it be the same.

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Get Out Of The Way!

The only thing stopping you from achieving what you want right now is you. That is it. You need to address the obstacle in your mind and get out of the way!

It’s easy to think that someone or something else is responsible for our lack of expected progress. We had ideas and dreams. There was a general path that people had followed before us.

Like most Hollywood movies, things are supposed to get back to, and certainly end, better than they started. Sure there would be little bumps in the road but they are handled reasonably well by our able script writers, the actors and the director.

Real life is a wee bit different. Especially the bit about timing. We have no idea where we are in the equivalent of a two hour movie. Are we near the end or the middle?

Regardless, you have some challenges in your mind that need a little bit of your attention. If you are procrastinating, understand why. If you’re struggling to move forward, look into your thoughts. Be honest with yourself. Write these thoughts somewhere safe. Dwell on them until you have some good, hard answers as to why you are not travelling in the direction, or style, you thought you would be.

Then you you need to make some adjustment and move from being uncomfortable to unstoppable.

Build good habits and get out of the way!

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