Action Archives - Page 108 of 121

Having A Difficult Conversation

Posted on October 15, 2020

These can be tricky. They can also be uncomfortable. Often, though, it needs to be done. Having a difficult conversation can open up the situation. It can also help both sides understand thoughts and positions that they had not been aware of.

Few people relish jumping into a difficult conversation. Though some are more practiced at it than others. By going for it head on, you often get a quicker result and get things moving. This speed can also eliminate a lot of the waiting and over-thinking on both sides.

The waiting is the hardest part.
Tom Petty

In addition, the more of these tough chats you have, the less onerous they can become. You also see how they can be beneficial. Finally, you will also be less hesitant and more proactive when the situation or need arises.

Lean in to these opportunities. Aim for better outcomes each time. Read up on a few different techniques to use and practice them. You will improve and it will get easier.

It is rarely as bad as you anticipate or fear. Often both parties are relieved to have had the discussion. Both will feel more confident in their future, regardless of where it takes them.

Having a difficult conversation is worthwhile. Push through the uncomfortable.

Action Gratitude Observe Time

How Did I End Up Here?

Posted on October 12, 2020

Have you ever connected your dots? It is useful to understand what decisions, thoughts and moments brought you to right now. How did I end up here?

Over the last couple of years, I have looked back and reflected on key decisions I have made and how they affected the direction of my life. It’s a fascinating exercise. Even more so, if you can be fearless in examining why you have chosen to do something.

This can help you understand why you choose some things over others. It also lets you know more about what you value and what you are attracted to.

One pivotal moment, I recall, was being 19 and walking to a university lecture in Ottawa, Canada. I saw a flyer on the stairs and picked it up. It was about travelling to various destinations around the world. A minute later I had reached my class and finished reading the parts that interested me the most.

I sat down and turned to my friend Kevin. I declared that I would finish the term and then take a year off to travel around Australia, New Zealand and the South Pacific. Excited, I studied, planned and worked to make and save money. Several months later I was on a jet headed to Auckland.

‘How did I end up here?’, I thought.

But actually, I knew.

Action Think About It

Don’t Poke The Bear

Posted on October 11, 2020

Have you ever pushed things a little too far? Someone isn’t having their best moment and you antagonise them just a little? Well, ‘Don’t poke the bear’, is what we say in our house.

Sometimes the extra poke is in jest. Occasionally it works too. But often you simply end up antagonising the person further.

How nice it would be if people learned to pull back, relax and chill. If they could give the other person some breathing room and a little head space. Most of us don’t enjoy having a bad moment. Certainly most don’t want it made worse.

We have the opportunity to make things better. We can create a positive butterfly effect rather than a negative one. With that power, why wouldn’t you? With great power comes great responsibility, as they say. Please use it wisely.

Remember this blog the next time things are going a bit wrong for someone. Try not to push them further to the brink. Give them some space. Or have the clear intent to honestly try to make their situation better.

Whatever you do, try not to make it worse for the person. Not even in a jokey or fun way. What might seem fun or funny to you, may not seem like it to them.

Be kind. Don’t poke the bear.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

What Are You Attracting?

Posted on October 6, 2020

We know what we want. Most people know what they don’t want too. Maybe they know it better. However, what are you attracting?

We are always moving towards or away from people, things and ideas. In addition, people are constantly moving further from, or closer to us. What is it that brings them closer and what repels them away?

It’s an important thing to take note of and be aware of. For example, you may ask, ”Is it something I said?”. You might also wonder, “Is it my clothes, hair, physique, mindset, success or other particular thing or combination?”

People will be attracted to you, if they find you attractive. The people that you attract may be the ones you want in your group. However, sometimes they are not the types you wish to have around.

Consider who you are attracted to. Then reflect on why you are attracted to them. You will need to be specific. In addition, I suggest that you write it down so you are clear. Pull this piece of paper out once a week and add to it. But also learn from it by understanding what you see.

What are you attracting? Who are you attracting?

What would you like to be different? How will you adjust?

Action Health & Fitness Weight Weight loss

Get Outside For A Walk Or Run

Posted on October 5, 2020

It is easy to stay inside. Even more so when it is wet, windy and wintery. Regardless, get outside for a walk or run. Prepare the night before. Have everything ready by the door. Sit up in your bed and put your feet on the floor. Get up and go!

Starting your day with a little activity gets the juices flowing. It warms up your body and gets your mind in gear. Nothing too challenging though. It’s just a walk or a run.

You might only go one or two kilometres. It might take five or 30 minutes. It doesn’t have to be a long time or distance. Simply make sure you go at least five days every week. Plan in advance which days it will be. Then stick to it.

This planning and doing will build your confidence and self-esteem. It doesn’t even matter if it is low or high at the moment. This activity will make it even better.

While out, you can listen to the birds chirp and the wind in the trees. Maybe you’re lucky to be near a river, lake or mountain. Even if you are in the centre of town, use your powers of observation. Alternatively, you could listen to an audiobook or podcast.

Be careful and stay safe. Obey the laws, rules and norms.

But get outside for a walk or run today.

It’s time to shake things up!

Action Progress Time

Train For Gain

Posted on October 4, 2020

Muscle memory and habits are decent predictors of where we are going and how well we will succeed. Train for gain not simply to pass time. Use your time well.

This is one of the key messages I like to focus on as a coach. When the lads show up for Sunday rugby training, I want them to train like it’s an important game. Yes, it should be fun. But whatever they are practising now will be the best they can do when under pressure from the opposition and the clock in a real match.

If your are training at your best and trying to improve every skill you will gain an advantage. It takes focus and concentration as well as discipline and patience. And the time to improve is when you are training ahead of the matches.

This is true in sport and in all aspects of life. Set a high standard. Add in increasing expectation that you meet and stretch again. Train yourself in excellent use of language, good manners, posture, critical thinking and communication. You can do this daily. Consider it your daily training regime.

It’s not simply to improve on these aspects. But one day it will matter. One day you will need to be at your best. By then, it will be too late to do the training.

So always train for gain. Be ready for the game.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

Your Source Of Frustration

Posted on October 3, 2020

Recently there seems to be growing tension and anxiety in the universe. If you are feeling it too, look into your source of frustration. This one simple step can resolve a lot of aggravation and challenging feelings.

Perhaps you know what gets you agitated already. It could be your partner, a family member, the media, your social media feeds, someone or something at work, or even the trains being delayed.

If you don’t know what it is that agitates you, then have a think about. Monitor yourself today and consciously notice when you start to get a bit more anxious or frustrated. Notice what you are doing at that moment. Are you watching, reading, listening, conversing or observing?

I notice quite a few people develop some tension while engaging in the news. One thing I have found useful is to stop reading much news. I have also noticed that so many ‘news’ outlets are actually ‘opinion‘ outlets. And many of these tend toward the negative.

It doesn’t matter what the information they are conveying is, there is always ‘a risk’ or ‘a problem’. Sometimes they highlight ‘incompetence’, ‘intolerance’ and ‘lies’. Most do not provide only the facts for you to consider. They feed you the anxious feelings too. This might make your head ache and you’ll be grumpy with others.

Reduce your source of frustration.

Tap into something new.

Action Health & Fitness Weight Weight loss

Get Tidy And Organised

Posted on September 29, 2020

Do you have piles of papers, books or things piling up anywhere? Or are you obsessively neat? Get tidy and organised and you might notice a new sense of confidence, pride and relaxation.

One of the key aspects to life is setting up your environment to win. If you want to lose weight, place your walking gear at the end of the bed so its easy to just go in the morning. And stop buying the crisps, chocolate and ice cream. If it is not in the house, you can’t eat it.

So it stands to reason that if you want to be more relaxed, make your space more relaxing. One way to do this is to remove all things that might make relaxing even slightly less easy. Tidy up books and papers. Donate books and place papers where they belong. What else is on show that needs to go?

Tidying up can be cathartic. You gain a sense of control. In addition you may feel a greater pride of place. One other benefit is being able to find things quickly.

Getting things organised is the start. And it can take a little while to get there. In the meantime though, train yourself to put things in their place immediately. Don’t simply ‘set things down for a minute’.

Get tidy and organised. You’ll love it.

Action Progress Think About It

How High Can You Reach?

Posted on September 26, 2020

Some people love to strive. You can see this in many children. Just place the honey on a higher shelf. It’s like saying, “How high can you reach?”. Then watch that child stretch, climb, extend and exert themselves until it is safely in their grasp.

The honey is part of their vision for a better life. They know that the sweet taste and sugar high is just beyond their here and now. Many children carry on with that zest to follow a better vision. This is often in exchange for a little adventure, struggle or sacrifice.

Just like when a child is climbing and reaching, sometimes the outcome isn’t ideal. They may slip. Or they could fall. Sometimes they may reach their goal only to have it slip from their fingers. In their worst case scenario, the glass jar slips from their outstretched hand and breaks into a gooey mess on the floor.

Children learn to carry on and try again. Often they recall the lessons but not the pain of any previous failed attempts. Selective memory can be helpful.

Find a vision that excites you enough to stretch for it. Choose something that will fill you with joy and delight on the path, not just at the destination.

How high can you reach?

Action Reframe your thoughts

We Choose The Meaning

Posted on September 23, 2020

Lots of things happen in our lives. Words are spoken and actions are taken. Regardless of what happens though, we choose the meaning of the words or actions. This is true whether we say the words or do the actions or whether someone else does.

These interpretations, judgements, reactions and decisions shape our present and our future. We can even make things align a certain way to create a new history.

I recall being frustrated by people in their car not letting me go in front of them when merging with traffic. I would assign a number of reasons why they wouldn’t let me in. Usually it was because they weren’t being very nice.

Then, one time, I was focused on the outer lane. By the time I saw the person wanting to come into my lane, it was too late to let them do it safely. I realised I was ‘that’ person. Another time I was in a hurry, and didn’t want to be slowed down, so didn’t let them in.

So, by having the experience myself, I realised that sometimes there are valid reasons that people do things. In addition, I thought that I should give people the benefit of the doubt. Especially as I believe people are generally good.

We choose the meaning of things so why not make it positive.