Action Archives - Page 89 of 121

Keep It Courteous

Posted on August 10, 2021

It is fine to have a difference of opinion. It is one way for us to learn about things we weren’t aware of before. But keep it courteous.

If you find yourself getting agitated and speaking more rapidly, it is time to take a breather. Take a few deep breathes and try to regroup on the key topic again. Alternatively, you could try to get back on to a point that you both agreed on. Then you could build from there.

Refrain from handing out an insult, no matter how much you want to or they ‘deserve it.’ Insults weaken your position. People who don’t have a strong grasp of the facts or have a weak case, might try to sway the crowd with an unnecessary comment. Don’t fall to this.

Take some breaths. Regroup your thoughts. Concede an agreeable part of the point. But stay away from the emotional comment. It may play to your audience (see yesterday’s post), but even many of them will notice you ran out of solid material. You get a short term ‘win’ but don’t really look like a winner.

It may not feel as good as unloading on someone and making derisory comments, but you will be better for it.

Keep it courteous.

Action Reframe your thoughts

Play To Your Crowd

Posted on August 9, 2021

If you want cheers, adulation and support, this is your strategy. If you want the easy route to happiness, play to your crowd.

It is so much easier to play to your cheering, adoring fans. You can bring them along and know what they like. You know their trigger points. Getting them to cheer you on and encourage your commentary happens with ease.

However, this often means they hold an opposing view on the topic compared to many others. So rather than rile people up into some agitated mob, you could use your power for good.

You could weave in elements of the topic which could bring some closer together. Not going for the dramatic in tone and vocabulary could take some of the emotion and heat out of the topic. Adding some useful and balanced information would help people understand the issue better.

The challenge is, this takes a very brave person to do it. Many people prefer the limelight and the euphoria. Few want to do what is better for society for fear of being cast out of their tribe.

When considering what is better, be clear if it is better for you or the greater good. You could help mend fences and build a better future.

Try to inform and influence rather than simply play to your crowd.

Action Gratitude Observe Think About It Time

Quality Time Defined

Posted on August 8, 2021

Is quality time what you want or what they want? If one of you isn’t delighted, is it still quality time? It’s time to have quality time defined.

Deciding you are going for a walk with a friend, who doesn’t enjoy walking, might not be the best idea of quality time. Do you both have to enjoy the activity, discussion or company? Or is it ok if just one of you do?

When you spend some of your day with your young child, is it enough to just enjoy being together? Or do you need to enjoy the event too? Is it quality time either way?

Encouraging your child to try something with you might seem like a good idea. You will be expanding their horizons and possibly adding a new, burgeoning skill to their repertoire. This is brilliant if they thoroughly enjoyed it. However, if they were not very interested or engaged, is it still quality time?

Is a shared memory considered quality time, even if it is not a brilliant or positive one? Perhaps they learned a lesson, or you did. If it came from a difficult experience, but something good came from it, does it fit the description?

In summary, life will be different for you with quality time defined.

Action Time

Find Your Fit

Posted on August 7, 2021

We spend quite a bit of life searching. We are looking for something and we want it to be the best thing available. If you find your fit, you should stick with it.

Think of how much time is spent trying out new restaurants or trying on new clothes. Some people like Steve Jobs had a great idea. Find the clothes you love and buy a dozen of them. Then you can wear the same thing every day.

Some people have restaurants they love so they can eat there every day. They know their preferred meal, drink and dessert or pudding.

There is a fine line between searching for the very best for you and settling with good enough. The idea of good enough might mean for now or forever. But sometimes the time, energy and decision making going into something can be too much. You can go overboard with research and expectations.

There are lots of key elements of life in this idea. Aim for the best. Simplify. Find joy. It’s a heck yes or no. Do your research. The 80/20 rule. Reduce decision making. Consistency and discipline are key.

It is a good idea to explore every once in a while. However, for the most part, once you find your fit, stick with it.

Action Gratitude Reframe your thoughts

Look For Light Everyday

Posted on August 6, 2021

Try this. Every day for the next 7 days find the good in everything you can. Look for the light everyday. Sometimes it can be hard to see. This is especially true if you tend to find something wrong or things that could or should be better.

Appreciate whatever it is for just being there. Remember that the world is just people trying to do their thing as best they can in their moment. Sure everything could be perfect. We should all think perfectly and speak perfectly and have perfect manners. Of course though, perfect in just the vision you have in your mind.

Your idea of perfect might be the opposite to my idea of it. You might think people should get free strawberry ice cream every day. I might think perfect is free vanilla ice cream.

But if you can look for the good in people, places and events, you will train your mind to be happier or at least more appreciative. If we train our mind one way, it can be hard to train it another way. So it is better if you can train it just once. Try to have positive thoughts.

Look for light everyday. Let it become easier with practice.

Action Observe Think About It

Where Do You Fish?

Posted on August 5, 2021

Are you going to the best spot for the results you want? Have you thought much about it? Where do you fish? Clearly, the best place is where the fish you want are swimming.

Too many times we ask the wrong people or the wrong question. It is often easier to ask a friend what they think rather than ask someone who might be in a better position to answer.

If you want to catch salmon, you are best not to fish in a lake with only trout and bass. And if you don’t know where to catch salmon, asking your trout fishing buddies might not get the best answer.

By all means, do ask your trout fishing buddies though. They may also like salmon fishing, have been salmon fishing or knows a relative or friend who loves it. It’s a good place to start, especially if you are out on the lake spending time fishing.

But don’t stop there. Go online. Find out where salmon tend to live. Watch videos, read articles or call a salmon fishing shop or tour operator. You will get a variety of ideas and points of view. Some will be repetitive, some unique, some useful and some will be of little use at all.

Apply this search method to everything including getting medical information, finding a job, looking for clients and finding a partner – business or personal.

Where do you fish? This can make all the difference.

Action Gratitude Time

Enjoy The Summer Fun

Posted on August 3, 2021

Take a trip, relax with friends or enjoy the evenings. People have different ideas of what they want to do for the holiday period. Enjoy the summer fun though, regardless of your chosen activity.

What does your ideal summer look like? Do you like the heat? Is there a place you usually go? Does your time involve more family or more friends.

Some people like to be around many others. Although others like to get away from it all and be a little isolated.

I do like consistent warmth. Although I am not a big fan of air conditioning. A light breeze can be nice. I also enjoy a pool or the sea to jump into to cool down too.

Reading a book under a tree and contemplating what you are reading is nice. As is looking up at the sky and watching the clouds roll by. If you can see shapes and animals in them it is all the better.

Oh, and ice cream. You cannot forget some nice ice cream. I’m partial to Haagen Dazs, especially their vanilla, pralines or salted caramel flavours.

Whatever you like to do, go full on now during August. You may have only four to six weeks left before the autumn air is with us.

Enjoy the summer fun while you can!

Action Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Start Together When Debating

Posted on August 1, 2021

Start together when debating. Ensure you’re both starting from The Alamo. Ensure you both want to get to Times Square. Once you’re clear on where you will start and finish, your discussion will be more fruitful.

Often I begin a conversation with someone and we do not set out the key point in advance. Casual conversations start this way most of the time. It is only when you get to a point where you don’t see eye to eye that any issues occur.

Before getting further involved in those conversations, it can be useful to be clear on what the different perspectives are. When I say to be clear, I mean get quite specific. Most often people will disagree on different points in the discussion. Without being clear and specific, you might think you are discussing the same point. However, I frequently notice that people are talking about the same topic but different points within it.

For example, let’s say the topic was crime. We could even be discussing the idea of whose fault it is that we have crime. Some people will consider it to be the fault of the parents, the person themself, the government for creating the laws, the police for enforcing the laws and a number of other things.

It is best to pick one specific item and discuss it at length. If you start together when debating, you may realise you have more in common then you thought.

Action Think About It Video

Picking A Movie

Posted on July 31, 2021

Your favourite movie may provide some insight into your personality. Or it might just indicate your current mood. Either way, picking a movie to watch in a group can be challenging at times.

There are so many movies to choose from today. From all the classics, the award winners and the unique, to the avant-garde, and truly poor. Although there is something for everyone, it is not always easy to agree on one to watch.

The genre you enjoy determines what you get more of in your life. If you like to watch comedy or comedies, you may find more laughter in your life. Your perspective may tend to the lighter and brighter side of things too.

Though you could also be wanting comedy because you aren’t getting enough of it in your own life. Sometimes we choose what we lack. Other times we choose what we have and want more of. At other moments we choose the genre so we can try to figure something out or get ideas from it for our own life.

It’s always good to understand why you are selecting the movie you are. It can give you some good insight into your thoughts and ideas.

Picking a movie can be a beneficial exercise, not just entertainment.

Action Gratitude Time

Pottery Decorated By Kids

Posted on July 30, 2021

It’s a nice idea for kids to decorate pottery. It’s a nice way to let them be creative and have a lasting memory of it. Pottery decorated by kids can be both lovely and useful.

We had a pottery place just around the corner from our house when the kids were very little. I hadn’t really noticed it before kids. And even with kids, I probably didn’t see much value in it. But then I went once with the kids to make a gift for their Mom’s birthday.

Although it was at times challenging to get the small children to decide on, focus and complete the items, it was worth it. They really enjoyed the process. In addition, they liked the idea of making something for Mom.

Even though we couldn’t get the finished product for some time, when it was ready, it was great. We ended up spending a fair amount of time and money in that shop over a few years. With that, we acquired quite a few pieces of designer pottery that we often used.

We often used pieces every day. However, through a combination of moving and being extra careful with these irreplaceable items, we stopped using them. That was until now.

Roxane got a big decorated plate out for dessert serving yesterday. It was great to see and use it. The kids even compared the size of their hands and feet on it too.

Pottery decorated by kids is a lovely, lasting gift to yourself.