Gratitude Archives - Page 46 of 57

Life Changes Fast

Posted on May 3, 2021

A lottery win, new contract, new partner or a promotion can be wonderful. Especially if they were unexpected. Life changes fast. Sometimes it changes for the better and sometimes for the worse. I guess that is the reason for the marriage vows being written that way.

We all hope for the good kind of life changes. Although the other kind show up sometimes too. We need the resilience to deal with those.

Whether it is one of those Friday afternoon meetings which ends with your job gone or simply an unexpected injury, its rarely pleasant. We want to get through this pain point as quickly as possible and have everything running smoothly again. However, with most of these events, it does take some time, and work, to improve on the situation.

Amazingly though, life can turn on a dime and you can be moving forward again. I wish this for you. I hope your troubles are few and you manage them with personal strength. Hopefully you get more of the good changes and can let go of the other kind.

Moments are the creator of our destiny. Those moments will stay with you. They are usually easy to spot if you reflect a little.

Life changes fast. Roll with the punches.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Perfection As The Starting Point

Posted on April 22, 2021

You’re going to be rattled and frustrated if this is how you start each day. It’s definitely a high bar to maintain with perfection as the starting point.

Perfection. Think about that for a minute. Is it possible for everything to be perfect at all times? Do you reach that level every day? Ever? Do tell us in the comments how you do it please, if you do.

By aiming for what many would argue is an impossible standard, you set yourself up for pain and anguish. Creating an expectation that is generally considered impossible, the trouble begins. Reality will rarely meet that lofty expectation. So rather than being grateful for the millions of things going well in your day, you may notice just the near-misses.

If you spend your time noting all of the imperfections in your day, you’re likely to find happiness somewhat elusive. The larger the distance between reality and your expectations, the ER Gap, the more stressful your life is likely to be.

One way to check if you engage in this heightened expectation, is to check your language and joy level. Your ER Gap may be too wide if you are often using words like ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’. Or, if you tend to note the things that aren’t going well. Try to notice all the good things that are going well. Those things you take for granted. Like your health, house, partner, children, car, roads, running water, heat, free schools, etc. Find joy.

Start today without perfection as the starting point.

Gratitude Health & Fitness Observe Progress Think About It Time Weight

The Irony Of Science And Medicine

Posted on April 20, 2021

It is incredible to see all the advances in science and medical interventions. Millions of people are saved every year. The irony of science and medicine is that with 100’s of millions of people saved, the planet has a population and consumption issue.

One hundred years ago, people would die earlier. They would live to 30 or 40 years old and then something would happen. Several people lived into their 70’s and 80’s but it was a lot more unique back then.

Advances have meant that we don’t really need to look after ourselves very well because some smart person will save us. Previously, if you smoked too much you might die of lung cancer. Or if you overate, you may have died from type two diabetes or heart failure.

Things like Polio, Malaria, Infections and many other nasty situations would kill large swathes of the population. Today, many of these deadly circumstances can be avoided by a jab or some antibiotics.

The 1918 flu pandemic, killed roughly 50m people. 500m were infected of the 1.5bn estimated on the planet. With 5 times the people on Earth today, we could have seen 250m Covid deaths globally. That the number has just passed 3m may be a testament to the advances we’ve had.

A great job has been done saving people and prolonging their lives. Although, that seems to have contributed to a climate situation that could kill a lot more.

The irony of science and medicine.

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Pure Joy

Posted on April 17, 2021

Birthdays are awesome when you are young. They tend to have new elements each year. In addition you enjoy getting older. They’re pure joy to watch too. I just had that feeling again with my son turning 12.

It was great to see his enthusiasm for the day ahead. Then throughout the day, he was smiling, laughing, energised, and fully enjoying himself. Despite the lockdown limitations, and this being his second lockdown birthday, he seemed to love it. And it was pure joy to see him embrace it and enjoy the day.

We will celebrate across the weekend as he opens gifts and cards and receives lovely messages from friends and family near and far.

As you get older, the enthusiasm can switch from looking forward to a birthday to being thankful to have reached it. Either way, we should try to remember that every one is an event to cherish. In addition to every day in between them.

Looking at the smile on my sons face today reminds me how fortunate we are. Count those blessings. Enjoy even the troubling times together. But most of all, be grateful for those sounds of laughter, energy and enthusiasm. It is amazing how quickly 12 years can swoosh past.

Savour it. It’s pure joy.

Action Gratitude Think About It

The Perfect Answer

Posted on April 10, 2021

Wouldn’t it be nice if someone would just tell you the next step to the ideal destination? If someone could give you the perfect answer, you could just get on with it.

The times I am most lost, or I procrastinate, involve moments where I am uncertain of the next best step. Being uncertain has its positive moments but not usually when involving decisions about life direction or major moments.

Sometimes I would just prefer if an exceptional being could hand me a map to my destination. On that map would include the next 20 steps exactly laid out so I just had to do them. No guess work and success guaranteed. It wouldn’t have to be every time either. But simply once in awhile, when I am most stuck.

Wouldn’t you like to have a helpful situation like that?

Of course there are many books, coaches, courses, classes, programs etc that can help you find your way. Though how many of them provide a bullet pointed map, with 20 precise steps to your ideal destination?

Perhaps someone will create the ultimate map with step by step instructions. They could sell it with a guarantee for success. That would be worth buying.

Getting the perfect answer has a great deal of value.

Action Gratitude Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts Time

Helping Others

Posted on April 4, 2021

Do they really need your help? Or do you really need them to need you? Are they capable of doing it themselves? Helping others can be a wonderful thing. It can also be done for a variety of reasons.

Altruism is rarely altruistic. Often the person performing the act of kindness or assistance will get a jolt of feel good for helping out. Some enjoy that feeling that comes from helping so much that they continue to help people even if they no longer need it.

One might even make up some symptoms or stories of helplessness to prove their assistance is required. This is where things need a reassessment. We should be aiming to help people to become self sufficient. Teach them to fish, not give them a fish.

No one should be trying to create a situation of learned helplessness. Nor should people be allowing or encouraging this to happen. People like to feel a sense of independence. I believe this is for both the young, the old and everyone in between.

When helping someone or a group of people, have an exit strategy. Know what the end of your useful time looks like and stick to it. Help the other person but ween them off of you.

That is one of the keys to helping others.

Action Gratitude Time

Let Things Slide

Posted on April 3, 2021

Sometimes there is just too much on. Though there are also times when life has a dramatic twist. In such instances, it may be best to let things slide.

I wouldn’t encourage you to do it too often. Certainly do not make a habit out of it. However, there are times in your life when almost anyone would agree that taking your foot off of the gas a wee bit is a good idea.

When life throws you a curveball in the form of an illness, accident or challenge, you may have to put some things on hold. Similarly, if you should be celebrating a unique milestone, then don’t hold back. This is especially true if it comes as a bit of a surprise, like being on the Queen’s Birthday Honours or something goes into remission.

If this happens, it is a good idea to let the people know who may be the most impacted. Nothing fancy, just a quick, I won’t be in, meeting the deadline, or able to catch up. This should be fine for just about anyone. And as soon as the slide is over, you can get back in touch with those people and others. Let them know you are back on the case and looking forward to the next step.

Very occasionally, you can let things slide.

Action Financial Gratitude Health & Fitness Think About It Time

Those Defining Moments

Posted on April 2, 2021

That early win or terrible slip-up can have a long lasting effect on our self-perception and confidence. Those defining moments can haunt us or provide much needed energy for our sails. Which defining moments can you recall?

It’s great to look back on these and unpick them a little. Was it a sporting achievement or scholastic? Were you 8, 13, 18, 27, 33, 48, 57 years old or a different age?

I was fortunate to have great friends, be athletic and be very good with academics. So I can recall mostly good memories at an early age and also as I went through secondary school.

Can you recall the first time you went on a big road trip? Do you remember being on a boat, train or airplane? Who inspired you the most when you were under 10 and who was it when you were a teen?

Most importantly now, is not what has happened, but what will happen. What defining moments would you absolutely love to have in your life? Will it involve an athletic achievement? Perhaps you have an academic goal in your sights? Relationship and financial success are both wonderful things to work towards. Don’t think any of these things just happen. You have to get yourself in the right place both physically and mentally.

Then those defining moments can happen!

Financial Gratitude Think About It Time

If I Had His Money

Posted on March 30, 2021

I would do things differently. Have you ever heard someone say this? Maybe you’ve even said it. If I had his money I would do x,y,z.

Now it could be his or hers, but the idea behind the phrase strikes me as the speaker thinks they would do better with it. In my experience, hearing people say this, it tends to involve the speaker spending more cash on luxury items. Holidays, clothes, better meals out and cars seem to high on the list of improvements.

The irony seems to be, once again, that those who develop good cash management habits have more cash to manage. And those that don’t put effort into good cash management habits, don’t tend to have much money to manage. Though they are not short of observational skills and have a fine knowledge of how to improve the millionaire’s suboptimal lifestyle.

With just a few flourishes of a debit or credit card, the speaker can resolve your unfortunate circumstances.

This may be one of the reasons why the speaker might not have enough money of their own to mess about with. With their unique money mindset and a propensity to spend rather than save, we can better understand why the speaker is in this predicament.

The good news is that great money management habits can be learned. Then you can turn, if I had his money, on its head.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

People Are The Key

Posted on March 26, 2021

Have you ever walked into an empty building? Perhaps your office building on the weekend or school during summer holidays. People are the key. Otherwise those quiet, soulless locations just echo with memories past.

People create the buzz, the energy and the excitement. It is their being that breathes life into a situation or place. Although locations can conjure up strong memories, the strongest ones often involve people.

I recall walking into my secondary school, during the summer after graduation. My footsteps echoed in the halls. After 5 years there, it seemed like I would bump into someone. But there was nothing. Just the ghostly quiet and silent cacophony of days gone by.

There was a deep sense of melancholy and a yearning for those days again. The friendships and silliness. The final and laughter. The challenges, struggles, wins and memories. Those halls are filled with people who will live in your mind forever. They are frozen in time. Slow motion. Black and white. Fast forward, Colour. Echo.

Best friends or sworn enemies, there was a place for everyone. And without anyone, there was just a building. Empty rooms and hallways. The place had seen tens of thousands of student faces over the years. But ours were the only ones that lived in our minds. friendships for a lifetime.

People are the key.