Gratitude Archives - Page 49 of 50

What You Say Reflects You

Posted on April 6, 2020

We all think that our spoken words describe something or someone else. However, what you say reflects you. What you communicate will usually tell us more about your current state of mind, values and critical thinking, than it will about your subject.

I have raised a similar thought previously in another post entitled, ‘Is fire good or bad?’. Putting that aside, what really brings this point home is what people are saying online and on Twitter about our now ICU’d Prime Minister, Boris Johnson.

Leadership examples:

It is fabulous to see people like Keir Starmer and Ed Miliband saying good, hopeful and helpful things at this difficult time. They could have said something political. They could have criticised his policies or judgement in handling the matter. Or they could have said nothing at all. They did not, however, and they chose to send appropriate messages of well wishing.

Meanwhile, there were people who did not send their good wishes for a speedy recovery. They did not stay quiet, nor did they offer their thoughts or prayers to him or his family. You will have to look the comments up yourself, if you want to spend your time that way.

When I see such negative and inappropriate things written, or hear them spoken, I ask myself the following: What is the worst thing that he, personally, directly and intentionally did, specifically to harm you, without any greater consideration or benefit to a wider group?

Consider intent:

It is always best to first consider the other person’s intent. What is the most important thing for them? What were they trying to achieve as the very highest priority for them? When doing this, try to remove your biases and instinctual thoughts and try to get in their shoes and understand their motivation and highest intent. It’s not easy but frequent practice will help.

I believe Mr Johnson’s overriding intent, during this pandemic, has been good. It seems clear to me that he wants to save lives, protect the NHS and support people and businesses adversely affected by the situation. This is a big and broad summary of intent. It won’t be perfect. Nothing ever is.

So the next time you choose to express yourself, take a pause first. What you say reflects you, and it’s quite revealing.

Action Gratitude Reframe your thoughts

Feeling Low – Where Do You Go?

Posted on April 2, 2020

What are the best resources for resilience? When you are feeling low – where do you go? To whom or to what do you turn to? There are some great resources out there to help pick you up, re-energise and re-focus.

Certainty of outcome:
Right now, we are in such a unique moment in time. It feels like the whole planet is on the same page, or at least reading the same book. Sometimes, as with a riveting book, I’d love to sneak a peak at the last few pages. Seeing how this plays out, and when, would provide everyone with some certainty. It would probably give a lot of people a level of comfort and let them relax into it a little more.

However, just like every book or movie, we won’t know how it ends until we get there. We need to live through the twists and turns with resilience knowing there is an end and it will be fine.

Perspective:
Looking back four months ago, you may not have realised how amazing your life was then. As I wrote recently, we often don’t know what we’ve got til it’s gone. This is probably one of those moments for a large portion of the population in so many countries already.

Feeling low – Where do you go?:
To re-energise or re-frame things, some of the best tips I have, that work for me are: Going for a run, writing something positive in a journal, listening to a favourite couple of songs rather loudly and singing along, or writing what’s on my mind to ‘get it out’.

A great book to read, and write in like a workbook, is Dale Carnegie’s classic, ‘How to stop worrying and start living’. It’s got some incredible stories in it and great lessons and tactics to use too.

There are also some amazing resources online. These are based in the UK, but please add any from your country or others you think would help. Free therapy or counselling through the NHS. Info for Children and young people.

Helping Others:
If you can spare a minute, please answer the question, ‘Feeling low – where do you go?’. Click on the title of this post and scroll to the bottom of the page and leave your best tips in the comments.

With readers from across the UK, USA, Canada, Australia and dozens of other countries, maybe we could get a little compendium of top tips listed. It could help people, from around the world, to better deal with the new normal.

Knowing that you may may have helped someone get through their day will pick you up too, and hopefully leave you smiling.

Action Gratitude Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts

Happy Mother’s Day! ?

Posted on March 21, 2020

Please do not go and see your mother today. It is the greatest gift you can give her. Yes, it is Mother’s Day in the UK on Sunday 22nd of March 2020, but please do not go to visit.

Your Mother gave you life and the most important thing you can do at this time is help protect hers.

My marvellous Mom lives 3,300 miles away, across an ocean, so there is little chance, in this no-fly era, that I would go and see her today anyway. But for those of you that live close enough to drive, or even walk, I strongly urge you to use Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, etc. or you can simplify and just call her on the phone.

The very last thing you want on your conscience, for the rest of your life, is to think that you may have caused your Mother’s early passing. If she were to come down with the symptoms of this virus within 14 days of your visit, you would probably never forgive yourself. Don’t take that chance this year.

And don’t use the justification that she is getting on and may not have many more, so we want to make this one special. Don’t turn many more into no more.

Have a lovely video chat or a phone call. Remember, she probably grew up in an era where people used the telephone anyway. It will remind her of the days of her youth.

If you really want to make an impact, by reminding her how wonderful she is and how much she means to you, spend the rest of your day crafting a lovely letter to her detailing why. You could even get it done in the morning.

Thank you and best wishes to all of the lovely Mother’s out there.

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

The Bright Side

Posted on March 20, 2020

There is always a bright side.

Sometimes we don’t see it and sometimes we don’t want to see it. If we are still reeling from an event or situation, we may not feel like looking on the bright side.

Whether you see it, don’t want to see it or don’t feel like embracing it, it is still there. Once you step over the little chasm in your mind, and sometimes begrudgingly admit it, it does feel pretty good. So why not get to that spot and start smiling as soon as you can.

From today, soon or recently for others, many of us will be experiencing the new normal. We may enjoy the idea of bits of it and loathe the thought of other bits. Either way, this is our global new normal. So we may as well look on the bright side.

Here are a few things I’ve observed:

It feels so calm. The streets are quiet with very few cars or pedestrians. We just need to be at home – nowhere else. No detailed and challenging calendars to check or update. Time with my son – we went for a run today along the quiet river path and enjoyed a great chat and sprint to the finish: he’s fast. We celebrated a big birthday of a friend on a Zoom conference call involving 3 countries. We cheered on two others having birthdays on Saturday and Sunday too.

People have been friendly, helpful, supportive, calm, pretty optimistic and resolute. Air and general pollution seems to be dropping rapidly and should continue to do so during the new normal period. This is fantastic in general but even more so for all the people that wanted more immediate and severe action on climate change – now it is happening. Schooling is going 100% online – how fascinating it will be to see how it works.

The world has changed. It seems like it happened overnight. There will be challenges ahead.

Remember to look on the bright side of everything. Make it part of your new normal.

Action Gratitude Time

We’re All In This Together

Posted on March 19, 2020

What a fascinating time to be here on Earth. What a story you’ll have to tell once we see the back of this situation. This may be the first time in the history of the human species that the whole world has the same common enemy, at the same time, and is communicating in real time, globally, to coordinate and win.

And we all have front row seats.

We are all experiencing this event with slightly different perspectives, depending on what experience, and life awareness, we have had before. For example, despite living in the same household all their lives, each of my children will use their slightly different past experience to make sense of the times we are living through. And, despite everyone on Earth having different perspectives, it would seem that we all want the same outcome: To beat the bug.

I love how individuals and groups are stepping up and popping up to do great things together and for others. Whether it is the medical or scientific world pulling together to find solutions or community spirited groups providing extra help in the local neighbourhood. Our neighbourhood group put a typed note through everyone’s door this week with an offer to help anyone on the street, for them to join the group Whatsapp, and/or call on them if we needed anything (it gave names, numbers and emails of those ready to help). How wonderful! Being fairly new to the street, I felt it was a great idea and really made us feel part of a caring group.

Everyone seems to be pulling together to make the best of the situation. Whether it is with jokes, memes, words of encouragement or empathy, I’ve been struck by the wonderful humanity of it all.

Now is our time to rise to the occasion. Be the best you can possibly be. Help others who are struggling at this moment. Think of who that might be and let them know you are available. Just knowing can be all some people need.

Keep confident and smiling.

We’re all in this together.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

“Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)”

Posted on March 14, 2020

The world has changed. Completely. 2020 will be known as a pivotal year in human history. And it has only just begun! With more and more countries reducing people’s daily activities, and several countries going into full lockdown, the landscape is changing rapidly.

As with anything that changes, especially if it seems like it is getting worse, we feel nostalgic and sometimes sad for our loss of what was. How good we had it back then; back in 2019.

That’s when this song starts playing in my head. A power ballad by American glam metal band, Cinderella. “Don’t know what you got (Till it’s gone)”. It was released on the 21st May 1988: like an early birthday gift to me.

Although a love song, its melancholy piano, soaring guitar and anguished vocals have frequently reminded me over the years to appreciate all the amazing things we have. Every day.

It’s so easy to appreciate what has gone – though it’s then too late. Yet, it can be quite difficult to appreciate things in the moment. Mostly, this is because many of us are not practicing appreciation everyday. You’ll have more joy in your life if you strengthen this ability on a daily basis.

So today, more than ever, it’s important to appreciate how delicately balanced life and the world is. As people are going through hardships with the loss of loved ones or working through unforeseen financial challenges, be kind, be patient and be tolerant.

Take a few minutes right now to stop everything, close your eyes and appreciate the life you have right now. When you are done reflecting, you can even make a list of 10 things you appreciate in your life right now. Then keep this with you to review daily as the challenges of the days ahead unfold.

Being able to breath without a respirator might be one. The simple act of walking might be another. The ability to buy milk (the money you have, the shop nearby, the milk being in the shop, someone having milked a cow at 5am – remember, I grew up on a dairy farm).

Breathe it in and enjoy it now.

Action Gratitude

Thank You!

Posted on March 4, 2020

Two simple words that are easy to learn and easy to say. Do we say them often enough? Do we mean it when we say it, or is it just thrown out there due to an ingrained, childhood habit, instilled in us by our parents at a tender age?

Can you graciously accept a thank you or do you avoid it, downplay it, slough it off, over-react to it, disregard it or change the subject?

Today, I would like to say a big thank you to each and every one of the readers of my blog to date. Yes, you!

I’ve been writing this daily blog for two months and started telling people about it one month ago. In that time I have had great feedback and support from people I know and some that I didn’t.

I’ve had useful feedback on how I could improve some things and great feedback on how the blog posts are being enjoyed and shared. I am grateful for all of it.

I’ve had a friend use the Puzzle Process to help his daughter get from stuck to started on a school project. Another friend was enjoying it and shared it with many coaching friends. And another today said the posts brought a smile to his face and kept him positive. How cool is all that?!

There are many more great comments, which I may share at some point. You know who you are. I appreciate every, single one.

It’s been fun to watch as the blog has gathered some momentum over the few weeks it has been live. From having started telling a small number of people and getting the first visits to the site, to today, waking up and seeing that there have been 300 visitors to the site, from 15 different countries, on 5 continents, around the world. (We’re missing representation from South America and Antarctica, should anyone care to share with someone there).

This increase in readers is because of you. You have been telling people and your liking, commenting and sharing has helped others find the blog and read it.

Thank you for your feedback. Thank you for your likes, comments and shares. Thank you for subscribing, and most importantly, thank you for reading and enjoying the posts.

Is there someone you would like to be thanking today? Let’s all try to give some extra heartfelt thank you’s today – more than we usually do. Let’s get people smiling!

Thank you.

Action Gratitude Observe Progress

You’ve Got This!!

Posted on March 1, 2020

You’re an exceptional person. Sometimes you forget that. Let’s get some perspective on this.

That you were born at all, is quite a statistical feat. Never mind the point that you wake up every morning, have thoughts, can organise yourself (reasonably well), breathe, eat, turn food into energy – without even trying, and your eyes are deciphering these splotches on this page, feeding back the signal, while your super-computer of a brain is interpreting what my brain has tried to communicate. All that alone is simply amazing.

Then there is the whole thing about you and your accomplishments. You probably played at something that you were reasonably good at like a sport or musical instrument. Possibly you were a good student and did well on exams or on the chess club. Maybe you got player of the match once, won a final, went to the county championships or got on the Dean’s list.

Then you may have learned how to drive a car. It’s an everyday thing but it requires exceptional hand/eye motor skills that we take for granted. Perhaps you’ve had a very good relationship, quit an unhelpful habit, made a speech in front of some people, applied for a role, got interviewed and landed a job. Maybe you travelled somewhere all on your own, gave blood, or won a ribbon, medal or cup.

In the big scheme of things, I am certain you have achieved quite a few things in your life so far. Write down a list of at least 10 things that you have had success with – any kind of success. If you get on a roll, keep going. See if you can get 20, 30 or 80 items on your list of things you have achieved, or at least feel pretty good about – for whatever reason.

Then keep this list nearby. Add to it when you can. Review it once a week for the next 5 weeks; or every night before you go to bed. Remind yourself how you have done all sorts of pedestrian and amazing things to get you here, to this point, in life. Whatever is ahead for you, you will succeed with it.

You are an exceptional person.

You are an achiever.

You’ve got this!!

Action Gratitude Reframe your thoughts Time

Bonus Day Is Here!!

Posted on February 28, 2020

Who doesn’t love the bonus day? It’s full of excitement and expectation. Of course there is a little anxiousness mixed in as it might not turn out quite how you would have liked it too.

Money is one thing, but to have a whole extra day this year is something we are all able to enjoy. Talk about equality. We all get the same 1440 extra minutes on the 29th February 2020. Will you do something special? Will you simply enjoy the time?

If time is money, how much is this one extra day in your life worth to you?

Spend your time deliberately.

Whatever you do with your extra day, enjoy it! There is no return policy.

Action Gratitude Health & Fitness Think About It

If You Could Save Someone’s Life Right Now, Would You?

Posted on February 21, 2020

Would you really? What if it took five minutes out of your busy day? Would you still make the effort? If you could save the life of someone’s daughter, brother or Nan, but to save their life would require you to redirect 60 minutes of your precious time on earth, would you do it?

If you’re still convinced you would do it, that you would step up and sacrifice 60 minutes of your life to help someone else keep their life, that’s pretty wonderful intent.

If so, then sometime today, google and call your local blood donor clinic and book yourself an appointment to give blood. Most people can do the whole process in less than an hour. It is free. You lay down for 20 minutes and then they usually give you cookies and drink afterward ???. Simple.

You don’t need to be a trained medical professional, like a doctor, nurse or paramedic, to help save someone’s life. But you do need to be able to execute on your amazing intent.

I’ve been donating since my early 20’s, despite not being a fan of needles at all. I figure, if someone else is in a life or death situation, possibly in pain I can’t imagine, then I can handle a tiny, little, needle wince for a second. I don’t know anyone who has received my blood, but it is pretty amazing to think that there are people who are alive today, because I keep showing up.

My next appointment is on the 12th of March. When is yours?

To book an appointment, and see other information, click Blood UK, Canadian Blood Services, American Red Cross, or google ‘blood donations’ for your area.

(I was inspired to write my thoughts on blood donation by a really interesting piece a friend of mine from secondary school did on, “What happens to blood after you donate it?”. You can see the work Neil and his team did here.)