Gratitude Archives - Page 51 of 57

What Makes The Difference?

Posted on December 16, 2020

With so many varying factors in any given situation, it is often hard to say what led to what. What makes the difference?

Like watching those coin pusher arcade games, you never know which action will bring the result. It looks like everything is on the edge and the next coin will bring the jackpot. Despite never seeing someone win at one of those machines, don’t be disheartened. In life, that level of persistence and optimism can pay off handsomely.

Whether it is buying a house, emigrating or building a career, you need to keep trying and pushing through. Sometimes it takes an extra phone call or document or meeting. However, you won’t necessarily know which one will move you forward.

After the event, if you are fortunate enough to get there, you may look back and think you see the key moment. Though it may simply be a memorable moment, not a defining moment. All the other little things, combined together may have been more important than that memorable event.

All the grinding on the pitch, gaining meters, wearing down the opponent and getting field position may have been the critical work. The final play to get over the goal line was brilliant, necessary and euphoric, but set up by all that came before.

It may seem obvious, but what makes the difference?

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

We Are Easily Pleased

Posted on December 15, 2020

This must be true. If not, we would hold out longer for a partner, best friend, house, furnishings etc. We are easily pleased, which allows us to move on to other things more quickly.

Obviously not everyone is easily pleased. Some people are very particular. In addition, many things are very pleasing so it is easy to be pleased by them.

It makes me think of those two words, ‘It depends’. It may be that we are in a hurry. Or perhaps this type of item holds no interest for us. Alternatively, it could be, ‘good enough’. It may not be that pleasing, but it will do for what we are going to use it for.

If this wasn’t the case, we could spend hours, days or weeks, trying to find the right sandwich for lunch. Fortunately, we can assess things quickly and make decisions at lightning pace. We can also upgrade things much more easily than before. So sometimes it is more about expediency than pleasure.

Acting pleased can be a whole other story. Receiving gifts that weren’t really on our radar can be challenging. Being surprised is one thing. However, convincing people that we love it may be something entirely different.

Thankfully, we are easily pleased.

Action Gratitude Reframe your thoughts Time

Christmas Cheer

Posted on December 13, 2020

It is right around the corner. I hope you have been getting yourself organised. Christmas cheer is starting to build and the excitement of the children is growing with it.

Hard to believe we are coming to the end of the year already. It has been a bit of a strange one. Though it is getting harder to remember just how well everything was going 10-12 months ago.

Thankfully, we are getting into the Christmas spirit. Hopefully cases stay low-ish and people will be allowed to celebrate a little more than some had expected. Less than two weeks to go so you best be getting the final pieces ready.

Although there will be some differences this year, do make an extra special effort to make this a memorable Christmas for good reasons. The good tidings will need to carry us through the three winter months to come. With foreign and even national travel being greatly subdued, no bank holidays and short, dark and damp days ahead, we will need the festive fun to last a while. Even if only in memory.

So break out your best behaviour and your biggest smiles. We will need all the well wishes and positive vibes we can get this year.

Enjoy the Christmas cheer.

Gratitude Observe Time

A Great Movie

Posted on December 7, 2020

I do enjoy an entertaining film. Although my tastes have changed somewhat over the years, there can be real power in a great movie. Think back to the last movie that you saw that could be considered as such.

We watched something very enjoyable on the weekend called Green Book. It has a 91% score on Rotten Tomatoes and although rated PG-13, our 11 year old was able to enjoy it too.

I thought it was a great movie for so many reasons. There were many instances where I found cause to laugh out loud. It was great to see two people on very different paths in life, showing respect and appreciation for each other. It was also great to see their mutual concern and professionalism.

We all enjoyed seeing how the two men grew from the comments and prodding from each other. There were many moments in the film where you could pause and reflect and feel the situation. That is one kind of film I really enjoy.

Over the upcoming holidays, try to watch a great movie. One that is enjoyable, entertaining and has some valuable messages in it. Maybe it will be one you have already seen, or something you’ve had on your list. If Green Book wasn’t on your list, may I suggest that it gets on there.

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Winning Is Everything

Posted on December 5, 2020

Winning is often seen as the ultimate goal. To win something can show competence or dominance. When winning is everything, you can go a little mad.

It is amazing how we, as people, can get caught up in winning. There is a lot wrapped up in its significance. Victory is particularly important when your life is on the line. In days gone buy, triumph in a duel, or a shootout at high noon, often meant the difference between life and death.

If you have to fight til the death, there is so much more on the line. Think of military battles where people were killed on the field of battle or became a prisoner and suffered torturous conditions until they succumbed. Or consider losing in court, in the thousands of years before now, when death was often the prescribed result. The stories of Socrates, Louis XVI, Marie Antoinette and Anne Boleyn come to mind.

Fewer contests or situations exist today where winning is so important and losing could be fatal. However, sometimes, some people act as if victory is the only acceptable result. And because of that, they put winning ahead of fair play, sportsmanship and the rules. Cyclist Lance Armstrong and sprinter Ben Johnson come to mind.

Have you ever wanted to win, or support the winner, so desperately that you would even accept a little cheating? Think back to taking a test, playing or watching sports, an election or referendum.

Sometimes you go mad and winning is everything.

Gratitude Health & Fitness Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Early Morning Benefits

Posted on December 3, 2020

It’s a brilliant time to be awake. Sometimes I forget how nice it is to start a day so peacefully. Early morning benefits include hearing the birds sing and the calmness of the house.

I was up earlier than usual this morning. Something to do with a very large cardboard box, the top bunk and gravity. Let’s just say having an unexpected conversation with my daughter a little after 4 am has brought about a lovely, though unintended, consequence today.

With a dark and calm house, my senses were heightened. Not only could I hear the lovely singing from the birds, but I noticed our kitchen clock ticking away with every second. I also noticed some headphones were not shut off as they made a sound every so often. Not often enough to track them down, but just enough to remind me I still hadn’t found them.

I’m enjoying this calm before the storm. I’ve been able to read, write and consider some things without one interruption. No need to do something, prepare anything, respond to someone or go somewhere. It is great to have this time to wake up and start the day at a pace often reserved for the fourth day of a holiday.

By 06:50, I have written my blog and the kids are heading down to the kitchen for breakfast.

Enjoy your early morning benefits.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

It’s So Easy

Posted on December 1, 2020

Isn’t that fun to say that? I love it when I can use these three little words. It does not even matter why. It’s simply great when it’s so easy.

I find tying my shoelaces fall into this category. Walking is another one. Lying on a beach, under a parasol in very warm weather could also be classified this way. There really are a lot of things I currently find easy. And I appreciate them all.

It is not easy for everyone and it probably won’t always be easy for me. So I am enjoying these things and being grateful for their easiness every day.

Now some people might find things easy which I don’t. For example, a concert pianist may find that playing a simple piece is quite easy. I, on the other hand, might struggle a bit with it, at least in the beginning.

Think about all the things you find easy. Make a mental list, or a physical list if you are brave enough. It can help to lift your spirits when you realise all the things that are not difficult for you. Think of the simple and the complex. It could range from breathing, typing, eating and sleeping to juggling, driving, buying a house or flying a jet.

If it’s so easy, enjoy it while you can.

Gratitude Observe

How Helping Can Hinder

Posted on November 24, 2020

I used to think helping people was a good thing. But as I have said before, generalising is not good. I realised how helping can hinder once you get into the details.

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
Unknown

Help in the short term may involve giving some money, food, clothing or shelter. But this is not a good longer term set up. It is a good intention, but we know where those can lead. The person can become dependent on you. You certainly don’t need another dependent. And it is not good for their self image, confidence or pride to be dependent on someone or something else.

Immediate help per above is fine for an emergency. However, it is best for both of you to help the person to become independent again as swiftly as possible. In the longer term, people do better and are happier if they can provide for themselves.

In addition, you do not want to become the person that needs to pay for some or everything over a period of months or years. This is true even if you can afford it.

It may require a little tough love to get people back on their feet. That is ok, as most people can handle it. They may not like it so much in the moment, but in the longer term they will be more grateful.

This is especially true if they realise how helping can hinder.

Gratitude Time

Today Is A Brilliant Day!

Posted on November 23, 2020

If you have the ability, education, means and time to read this blog, you are doing well. In that case, today is a brilliant day!

Everyday is a fresh new day. It is full of possibility and hope. Sure there will be the issues you have to deal with, but those are usually temporary. They may feel heavy and annoying or unbearable at the time. However, time is a great healer and with time pain can fade, whether it is emotional or physical pain.

Today is the only thing we know we have for sure. As long as it is happening, we need to make the absolute best of it we can. If we feel sluggish, we need to kick ourselves in the pants. If we feel tired, we can run on the spot or do some press ups to get ourselves going again.

The sights, the smells, the sounds, the tastes, touches and feelings bring this magical world to life. Breathe it in and experience it anew and to the full every single day.

A powerful song from the 80’s, Up Where We Belong (Cocker and Warnes), had some fitting lyrics. “Who knows what tomorrow brings”. And also, ‘All we have, is here and now. All our life, out there to find’.

Enjoy every moment.

Today is a brilliant day!

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Start With ‘That’s Wonderful!’

Posted on November 21, 2020

When a person does something well, try not to top them or criticise. Start with, ‘That’s Wonderful!’. Then maybe ask them how it felt and what was their favourite part.

It is not always easy to be gracious, especially after a loss. But to see good examples of how it is done, we can look to the sporting world. It is very common now to see interviews after a match. Usually someone from the losing side will be asked how it went.

They acknowledge how the they did and that they need to work on some things. They often cite the other side and note how well some individuals played or their whole team in general. It is very sportsmanlike to make these comments. Gracious in defeat.

The winning team also makes comments and they are usually restrained and fairly objective. They too usually reference the other side. Most of the time these comments are appropriate and supportive in their defeat. Many times they note how well the others played and some particularly good aspects of their game.

More people should take note of these post game interviews. Especially politicians. Politicians need to remember we are not enemies. And not really opponents. Both sides want the best. They want peace and prosperity. Health and education.

More of them should start with, ‘That’s wonderful!’, when they do well, rather than find something to criticise.