CategoriesGratitudeObserveTime

A Great Movie

I do enjoy an entertaining film. Although my tastes have changed somewhat over the years, there can be real power in a great movie. Think back to the last movie that you saw that could be considered as such.

We watched something very enjoyable on the weekend called Green Book. It has a 91% score on Rotten Tomatoes and although rated PG-13, our 11 year old was able to enjoy it too.

I thought it was a great movie for so many reasons. There were many instances where I found cause to laugh out loud. It was great to see two people on very different paths in life, showing respect and appreciation for each other. It was also great to see their mutual concern and professionalism.

We all enjoyed seeing how the two men grew from the comments and prodding from each other. There were many moments in the film where you could pause and reflect and feel the situation. That is one kind of film I really enjoy.

Over the upcoming holidays, try to watch a great movie. One that is enjoyable, entertaining and has some valuable messages in it. Maybe it will be one you have already seen, or something you’ve had on your list. If Green Book wasn’t on your list, may I suggest that it gets on there.

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CategoriesActionGratitudeObserveReframe your thoughts

Winning Is Everything

Winning is often seen as the ultimate goal. To win something can show competence or dominance. When winning is everything, you can go a little mad.

It is amazing how we, as people, can get caught up in winning. There is a lot wrapped up in its significance. Victory is particularly important when your life is on the line. In days gone buy, triumph in a duel, or a shootout at high noon, often meant the difference between life and death.

If you have to fight til the death, there is so much more on the line. Think of military battles where people were killed on the field of battle or became a prisoner and suffered torturous conditions until they succumbed. Or consider losing in court, in the thousands of years before now, when death was often the prescribed result. The stories of Socrates, Louis XVI, Marie Antoinette and Anne Boleyn come to mind.

Fewer contests or situations exist today where winning is so important and losing could be fatal. However, sometimes, some people act as if victory is the only acceptable result. And because of that, they put winning ahead of fair play, sportsmanship and the rules. Cyclist Lance Armstrong and sprinter Ben Johnson come to mind.

Have you ever wanted to win, or support the winner, so desperately that you would even accept a little cheating? Think back to taking a test, playing or watching sports, an election or referendum.

Sometimes you go mad and winning is everything.

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CategoriesGratitudeHealth & FitnessObserveReframe your thoughtsTime

Early Morning Benefits

It’s a brilliant time to be awake. Sometimes I forget how nice it is to start a day so peacefully. Early morning benefits include hearing the birds sing and the calmness of the house.

I was up earlier than usual this morning. Something to do with a very large cardboard box, the top bunk and gravity. Let’s just say having an unexpected conversation with my daughter a little after 4 am has brought about a lovely, though unintended, consequence today.

With a dark and calm house, my senses were heightened. Not only could I hear the lovely singing from the birds, but I noticed our kitchen clock ticking away with every second. I also noticed some headphones were not shut off as they made a sound every so often. Not often enough to track them down, but just enough to remind me I still hadn’t found them.

I’m enjoying this calm before the storm. I’ve been able to read, write and consider some things without one interruption. No need to do something, prepare anything, respond to someone or go somewhere. It is great to have this time to wake up and start the day at a pace often reserved for the fourth day of a holiday.

By 06:50, I have written my blog and the kids are heading down to the kitchen for breakfast.

Enjoy your early morning benefits.

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CategoriesGratitudeObserveReframe your thoughts

It’s So Easy

Isn’t that fun to say that? I love it when I can use these three little words. It does not even matter why. It’s simply great when it’s so easy.

I find tying my shoelaces fall into this category. Walking is another one. Lying on a beach, under a parasol in very warm weather could also be classified this way. There really are a lot of things I currently find easy. And I appreciate them all.

It is not easy for everyone and it probably won’t always be easy for me. So I am enjoying these things and being grateful for their easiness every day.

Now some people might find things easy which I don’t. For example, a concert pianist may find that playing a simple piece is quite easy. I, on the other hand, might struggle a bit with it, at least in the beginning.

Think about all the things you find easy. Make a mental list, or a physical list if you are brave enough. It can help to lift your spirits when you realise all the things that are not difficult for you. Think of the simple and the complex. It could range from breathing, typing, eating and sleeping to juggling, driving, buying a house or flying a jet.

If it’s so easy, enjoy it while you can.

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CategoriesGratitudeObserve

How Helping Can Hinder

I used to think helping people was a good thing. But as I have said before, generalising is not good. I realised how helping can hinder once you get into the details.

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

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Help in the short term may involve giving some money, food, clothing or shelter. But this is not a good longer term set up. It is a good intention, but we know where those can lead. The person can become dependent on you. You certainly don’t need another dependent. And it is not good for their self image, confidence or pride to be dependent on someone or something else.

Immediate help per above is fine for an emergency. However, it is best for both of you to help the person to become independent again as swiftly as possible. In the longer term, people do better and are happier if they can provide for themselves.

In addition, you do not want to become the person that needs to pay for some or everything over a period of months or years. This is true even if you can afford it.

It may require a little tough love to get people back on their feet. That is ok, as most people can handle it. They may not like it so much in the moment, but in the longer term they will be more grateful.

This is especially true if they realise how helping can hinder.

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CategoriesGratitudeTime

Today Is A Brilliant Day!

If you have the ability, education, means and time to read this blog, you are doing well. In that case, today is a brilliant day!

Everyday is a fresh new day. It is full of possibility and hope. Sure there will be the issues you have to deal with, but those are usually temporary. They may feel heavy and annoying or unbearable at the time. However, time is a great healer and with time pain can fade, whether it is emotional or physical pain.

Today is the only thing we know we have for sure. As long as it is happening, we need to make the absolute best of it we can. If we feel sluggish, we need to kick ourselves in the pants. If we feel tired, we can run on the spot or do some press ups to get ourselves going again.

The sights, the smells, the sounds, the tastes, touches and feelings bring this magical world to life. Breathe it in and experience it anew and to the full every single day.

A powerful song from the 80’s, Up Where We Belong (Cocker and Warnes), had some fitting lyrics. “Who knows what tomorrow brings”. And also, ‘All we have, is here and now. All our life, out there to find’.

Enjoy every moment.

Today is a brilliant day!

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CategoriesGratitudeObserveReframe your thoughts

Start With ‘That’s Wonderful!’

When a person does something well, try not to top them or criticise. Start with, ‘That’s Wonderful!’. Then maybe ask them how it felt and what was their favourite part.

It is not always easy to be gracious, especially after a loss. But to see good examples of how it is done, we can look to the sporting world. It is very common now to see interviews after a match. Usually someone from the losing side will be asked how it went.

They acknowledge how the they did and that they need to work on some things. They often cite the other side and note how well some individuals played or their whole team in general. It is very sportsmanlike to make these comments. Gracious in defeat.

The winning team also makes comments and they are usually restrained and fairly objective. They too usually reference the other side. Most of the time these comments are appropriate and supportive in their defeat. Many times they note how well the others played and some particularly good aspects of their game.

More people should take note of these post game interviews. Especially politicians. Politicians need to remember we are not enemies. And not really opponents. Both sides want the best. They want peace and prosperity. Health and education.

More of them should start with, ‘That’s wonderful!’, when they do well, rather than find something to criticise.

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CategoriesGratitudeObserveReframe your thoughtsTime

Here Is What You Are Going To Realise

Life is long but short. Time can fly and it can crawl. You will get older. At some point in your life, here is what you are going to realise.

There are few things you can control. And yet, you control everything about your life. If you don’t make the little sacrifices now, you will need to make larger ones later on. You will be passing the baton at some point in time. Unfortunately, you do not know when that moment will be or who it will be to.

I think we also realise that we could have done more with our time on this planet. Not just more for ourselves, but more for other people too. The crazy thing is that we wouldn’t have to do massive amounts more, just a little bit more from each of us.

You will leave a legacy, whether you believe it or not. Not everyone will have the same view but that is ok. Some will love things you have done and others will hardly have noticed. Still others will not like what you have done or how you did it. Take no notice of the critics. Positive feedback is one thing but generalised criticism is unworthy of your good intentions.

Here is what you are going to realise. No one wins. Just enjoy your ride.

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CategoriesGratitudeObserveThink About ItTime

The Sounds Of Children Playing

Playgrounds and schoolyards can be immensely fun and filled with energy, excitement and enthusiasm. The sounds of children playing can be music to our ears.

We live near a primary school, which has it’s pros and cons. Certainly one of the pros, for me, is that every weekday, for the entire lunch period, I can hear the frolicking fun being had by all. It does bring a smile to my face as I hear the enjoyable mixing of their fluctuating voices.

Not only is it fun to hear them and imagine them playing games like ‘it’, but it is fun to reminisce too. Thinking back to the times when you were 6 or 9 is always interesting. What games did you play? Who were your very good friends? What did you do and talk about for an hour at lunch?

It is fun to think back and remember the easier memories and also stretch your mind to recall other things that have more dust on them. It can be pleasant, painful and helpful to remind oneself of the days of their childhood. You can learn a lot about where you are now but understanding how you were then.

They’ve gone inside now. The playground has fallen quiet.

There can be a hollow emptiness once you can no longer hear the sounds of children playing.

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CategoriesGratitudeObserveProgressThink About It

The Big Stuff Is Behind Us

It’s easy to find something to complain about. There are even times that certain people will go as far as outrage. The big stuff is behind us though. Not that the world can’t be an even better place with a little more tinkering. However, we need some balance to ensure the tinkering doesn’t go too far.

What I mean is this. There is a lot more acceptance between people on the big things. In most of the 37 OECD countries there are few, if any, major rights not available to all people. All races and genders are able to freely vote. People have the right to liberty and freedom of expression and religion.

There is an abundance of opportunity for all people. The majority of people in these countries seem to be fine with where things are at. Yes, there will always be small groups or individuals that feel that the laws and norms don’t quite work for them. The good news is that those people can work towards having things improved for them.

Now, we can still tip into an abyss. However, it is ever less likely to happen. As people continue to get comfortable with improving standards of living, fewer will want to wage wars, riot or remove socially agreed basic human rights.

The big stuff is behind us.

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