CategoriesActionGratitudeHealth & FitnessReframe your thoughtsTime

Helping Others

Do they really need your help? Or do you really need them to need you? Are they capable of doing it themselves? Helping others can be a wonderful thing. It can also be done for a variety of reasons.

Altruism is rarely altruistic. Often the person performing the act of kindness or assistance will get a jolt of feel good for helping out. Some enjoy that feeling that comes from helping so much that they continue to help people even if they no longer need it.

One might even make up some symptoms or stories of helplessness to prove their assistance is required. This is where things need a reassessment. We should be aiming to help people to become self sufficient. Teach them to fish, not give them a fish.

No one should be trying to create a situation of learned helplessness. Nor should people be allowing or encouraging this to happen. People like to feel a sense of independence. I believe this is for both the young, the old and everyone in between.

When helping someone or a group of people, have an exit strategy. Know what the end of your useful time looks like and stick to it. Help the other person but ween them off of you.

That is one of the keys to helping others.

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Those Defining Moments

That early win or terrible slip-up can have a long lasting effect on our self-perception and confidence. Those defining moments can haunt us or provide much needed energy for our sails. Which defining moments can you recall?

It’s great to look back on these and unpick them a little. Was it a sporting achievement or scholastic? Were you 8, 13, 18, 27, 33, 48, 57 years old or a different age?

I was fortunate to have great friends, be athletic and be very good with academics. So I can recall mostly good memories at an early age and also as I went through secondary school.

Can you recall the first time you went on a big road trip? Do you remember being on a boat, train or airplane? Who inspired you the most when you were under 10 and who was it when you were a teen?

Most importantly now, is not what has happened, but what will happen. What defining moments would you absolutely love to have in your life? Will it involve an athletic achievement? Perhaps you have an academic goal in your sights? Relationship and financial success are both wonderful things to work towards. Don’t think any of these things just happen. You have to get yourself in the right place both physically and mentally.

Then those defining moments can happen!

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CategoriesActionGratitudeHealth & FitnessObserveProgressReframe your thoughts

Choose Discipline Or Disaster

Discipline sounds so strict. It has echoes of an unwavering sergeant major accepting nothing but your best. She asks you to choose discipline or disaster.

I have seen this in my personal life. If I am not disciplined about something, it can turn into a disaster. Now disaster is a relative term here as there are many stops on the road to disaster, but I think you understand what I mean.

Take the early morning alarm scenario. If you are disciplined, you can wake up on the first go. Then you can get ready as planned and and be where you should be on time. Alternatively, you can hit the snooze button a few times and then find yourself late for the rest of the day. This is sometimes the beginning of many disasters.

If your sports team is not good about their discipline, they may not build up sufficient strength and stamina before a match. This lack of discipline could result in a disaster. This could be a terrible score or perhaps some unnecessary injuries.

Of course, with a bit of discipline, you can find some amazing results. You don’t have to be perfect, but consistency helps.

Choose discipline or disaster. The former has more upsides.

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Why Be Negative?

There are so many things to be. Though the big difference can be found in just the direction you may go in. With a great alternative, why be negative?

It takes effort to be one thing or another. It takes practice and effort to frown or not smile. Consider that next time you are standing around.

One way to make everything seem better is to smile. Though many people would rather be left for dead than smile. But it is such a nice thing to see. People that smile appear friendlier, warm and welcoming. They radiate an energy.

People know this intuitively but are also asked to smile many times in their lives. Frequently young people are asked to smile and especially now for photos. However, there are some people that would rather resist this temptation to smile, laugh or be playful.

Negative sentiments can lead to slouching, poor posture, low energy, sickness and yes, even grumpiness. On the other hand, people could choose to be happier, joyful and bright. It is a habit, whichever you choose, but it is hard to understand the thinking behind being more negative than positive.

Think about your face, posture and thoughts right now. Learn about how you are and change it if you are not being delighted, fun and playful more often than not.

Why be negative?

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I Can See The Future

Predicting the future is a funny game. We do think we are pretty good at guessing what will happen next. I can see the future and it looks exciting!

The key to understanding predications is the following. The more control you have over the process, the more likely the outcome. So, for example, the lady running the roulette wheel in a casino has more control over the outcome than you. It depends on how she spins the wheel and throws the ball. You have no control.

You have more control with blackjack, though the deck is stacked against you. However, a diet and exercise regime is heavily in your control or sphere of influence. So you can see the pounds melt away through reduced calories, body toning and strengthening. All in your control.

So now do that with your life. Look deep into the future. Imagine the infinite possibilities. Where would you like to end up? If you could choose anywhere, and you can, where would it be?

So decide what you are looking for and then go after it. Be sensible, make a plan, take provisions and be hopeful. Then start. The road may be a little rocky at first. But stick with it. Slowly but surely you will get there.

I can see the future. And now I am going to make it happen.

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Find Your Flow

What feels right for you? What could you do all the time and feel like it is your thing? You just need to find your flow.

I think most people have had the experience where they feel a part of something. We knew while it was happening that it was something we would love to carry on doing.

This doesn’t even need to be something we are good at either. Though, our feeling toward it suggests we would do it more often than not. And we know that greater exposure and practice will usually lead to improved ability.

So go find your mojo if you’ve lost it. Trace your steps back to your tweens and teens and see what you can find. What brings back the happiest memories? Or feelings of control, confidence or superpower? By exploring these childhood streams of consciousness, you will find what you are looking for.

Sometimes we bury these feelings because it doesn’t seem to be on the path for us. We might even pile twigs and leaves on top to make it hard to ever find again. But you can remove the debris and get the feelings back. You’ll be so glad you did.

Find your flow.

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CategoriesActionHealth & FitnessObserveThink About It

I Don’t Feel Like It

Some days this is a very accurate statement. I like to think everyone else has days or moments like this. “I don’t feel like it”, has got to be an acceptable feeling and response at various points in life.

Today I felt that a few times. Always so much to do and there’s always more joining the queue. Sometimes you just want to go on a crazy, do-nothing holiday. Or is that just me?

It’s ok to not feel motivated. Or to feel quite lethargic, exhausted, burnt out, etc. Sometimes you just can’t be bothered. The effort doesn’t feel worth the reward – if there is any.

For some of these things, you just have to push through. You would be quite remiss to not do it. For example, not taking your life preserving medicine (cancer meds, type 1 diabetic, etc) or not feeding your children. You may not feel the desire to do so, but you really should do it.

I’d had enough excitement by 2:45 pm, so I had a nap on the sofa as the kids arrived in the living room for some after school screen time. I don’t think we really even noticed each other.

You don’t have to do everything and certainly not all the time.

When I don’t feel like it, I mix things up a bit. And you should too.

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Gen X Will Be skipped

Reading an article yesterday struck a chord. It noted that because Baby Boomers have held onto their jobs so long, that Gen X will be skipped in the career process.

I used to think that all those Baby Boomers would be retired by 60 or 65. They were wiser, better with their money and more aware. Consequently, my overriding thought was that there would be incredible opportunities. Many senior level leadership roles would open up as the ageing work force meant declining numbers available to work.

30 years later it may be that the opposite is true. People are healthier now. They feel they have to work longer as they know they will live longer. They will require more money. Some want to work longer as they enjoy their career and enjoy the experience.

Whatever the reason, Baby Boomers are not retiring as early or as quickly as I had anticipated. This seems to be adding a strange overhang in the market. Without the OG’s retiring or moving on, the Gen X’ers are stuck on the second or third rung with little upward mobility.

There are worse places to be in this world. If they have a nice job and are waiting for the other person to die or at least be sidelined, they may be disappointed. But we will all carry on. Soon roles will open up a plenty. Though it may be the Gen Z’ers that fill them.

Gen X will be skipped.

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CategoriesActionGratitudeHealth & FitnessReframe your thoughtsWeightWeight loss

Keeping Fit Is Essential

There are a lot of reasons why you should want to be as fit as possible. From feeling better, moving well, and feeling confident, keeping fit is essential. At least it is for me.

Maybe growing up in a house with a type 1 diabetic, made me more aware of the role of food and exercise in our lives. Maybe my Dad’s high level of physical activity was a great role model for me. Eating healthy was important. Not paying attention to food and exercise and how it affects you was potentially lethal.

Food wasn’t simply an eat all you want, of any kind, until you’re bursting. And exercise was premeditated and planned. Training for the Montreal Marathon in the early 80’s could have been a disaster. However, thankfully it was not.

Keep fit by walking more, with a friend or with a podcast or audio book. Perhaps you could develop a love for running too. Clubhouse is also excellent to listen to, or even participate in, while being active. You could do 200 pushups a day as well.

But even more important than the exercise is your consumption. Learn to observe, investigate and monitor your food intake. Sleep is the other major challenge for many people. Getting enough sleep can be critical.

Keeping fit is essential. Don’t let your one and only body go to waste.

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CategoriesActionGoals, Results & New ThinkingGratitudeHealth & FitnessObserveProgressReframe your thoughtsThink About ItTime

Embrace Your Future Self

It is hard to be an adventurer, exploring new realms, when your feet won’t leave the comfortable shoreline. Embrace your future self and ride headlong into the exciting world you are seeing for yourself.

There seems to be three main aspects involved in changing your life. The first one is simply recognising where you would like to be. The second one is deciding you are going to get there from where you are. Finally, you need to see yourself at the finish line and truly be that person.

One of the most difficult parts about change is truly being that person at the finish line. We can be hesitant, uncertain and uncomfortable. This may be for several reasons or just one. However, the quicker you can mentally and emotionally become that future person, the sooner you will be there physically too.

It makes sense too. If you would like to be driving a red Porsche, you will need to start thinking of it. The more you can clearly see yourself sitting behind the wheel, the more likely it is to happen. Your mind will shift nicely from ‘not’ to ’fully bought’. In doing this journey, even if only in our head, the easier it is for the mind to accept it as true.

Once something is true, it will be.

Embrace your future self.

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