CategoriesActionFinancialObserveProgressThink About ItTime

Trying To Make Things Better, Can Make Them Worse

Whether it’s welfare, tractors in Africa, lower lending standards, or government covid policies, when people with good intentions get involved, the long run outcome can be worse.

Of course the immediate benefit is observable and often desirable. Unfortunately, the second and third order implications can be less beneficial, or even damaging or disastrous. (Though rarely for the people that initiated the policy).

Many of the world’s modern issues are derived from well intentioned people getting in the way and trying to control outcomes. Most often, people would be better served if there was less human intervention and they let the natural course of events take place. There is balance in the universe. Sometimes we should respect that and be patient.

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CategoriesActionGratitudeObserveProgressReframe your thoughts

Be The Bigger Person

When someone says or does something that bothers you, you don’t have to bother them back. It’s not a competitive Olympic sport where you get points and medals.

Usually it’s better if you can be the bigger person. You can shrug it off and move on with your day, not missing a beat. It often helps to think that they are probably having a bad day or aren’t very skilled in conversation, joy or gratitude.

It’s not your job to teach. Though your response can help them see how to respond to challenging moments in a better way.

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CategoriesObserveThink About It

What Is Fun?

Think of things that are fun. Are they the same things you found fun 10 years ago? Are they free or expensive? Can you do them alone or need others to go with you?

Fun can be different from adventure. Adventure isn’t always fun.

Make a list of fun things you would like to do this year. Then set about doing them!

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CategoriesActionGratitudeObserveProgressReframe your thoughtsThink About ItTime

When Do You Quit?

My son asked me tonight, when is it time to quit something? This could be school, a job, a relationship, a bad habit or a sport, club or activity.

It’s a tough question with no perfect answer. Each case will depend on the people and factors involved.

Steve Jobs made a good point that if you aren’t enjoying something for a long time or too many days in a row, it’s probably time to mix things up or at least assess what is going on.

I use this benchmark: Am I prepared to say this is as good as it gets in this area for me. I’ll probably never soar higher than this right now. Am I really ok with that? Or shall I press on a little longer?

If you are going to err on one side or the other, I’d say stick with something longer, even if you’re unsure. You may regain the joy or find your enthusiasm again!

It’s a personal decision. Good luck.

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CategoriesHealth & FitnessObserveReframe your thoughts

Irrational Fears

Is being afraid of flying an irrational fear? It feels very real, and even terrifying, for some people. Even though statistically you have a greater chance of being injured or dying while on the ground, if you focus on that one crash you heard of, and assume you’ll suffer the same fate, you can work yourself up into a frenzy.

Alternatively, if you start to focus on the statistical probabilities of a successful flight, and visualise that success, even through some turbulence and some bumps on touchdown, you can overcome your mental fear.

Relaxing and deep breathing can help. Visualisation is great. Positive reinforcement is very helpful too. With time and effort you can train your mind to overcome anything.

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CategoriesActionObserveThink About It

Triangulate To The Truth

You need different perspectives to assess what could have happened. Why would a court call several witnesses to the stand? Because each one may have seen things slightly differently.

The totality of what they witnessed gives a much better picture than just the one observation point. Remember this the next time you go and judge someone based only on your views or that of only one other.

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CategoriesActionObserveThink About It

Discredit

The number one weapon of people with no viable argument is to discredit someone. They are unable to address the precise issue head on and stick to that. They aim to discredit the person to win the argument rather than use sound facts or relevant information. This is usually because they don’t have a strong, or any, case.

If this happens, remind the person to remain on topic. You can also remind them that you’d prefer that they not engage in personal attacks or make this personal. If they continue, discontinue the conversation as clearly they are less interested in discussing the point or feel they have lost the argument so they try to drag you down in some form.

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CategoriesHealth & FitnessObserveThink About ItTime

What Are You Reading?

Does it fill you with joy or sadness? Are you more tense because of it? Does it make you angry, frustrated or alone?

Reading is a great and underused skill. Though reading good, positive and enriching things is so important. Don’t waste your time on junk. Look at what junk food does to a body. Imagine that with your brain.

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