Observe Archives - Page 60 of 68

Advice For A 14 Year Old

Posted on October 22, 2020

The world has changed. It does that. Sometimes it tilts to good and sometimes it tilts to bad. However, advice for a 14 year old should probably look quite similar regardless of society, technology or wealth.

One idea for a 14 year old would be to take actions to get better at something, Aim to be in the top 5% within 12 months. The action required could be more revision to improve school test scores. It could also involve learning a sport, hobby or instrument. It is amazing what 20 minutes a day can do over 3 months.

Getting better at something increases confidence, helps people understand how learning, goals and discipline work. In addition, you learn about the compound effect of building skill upon skill, how habits help and also the key elements of time, effort and patience.

Learning to seek and find is another key piece of advice. Don’t wait for the coach to select you or a job to fall in your lap. Ask your parents, teachers or a search engine how you can improve. Decide what you want to try now and look into it. This may involve joining a club, watching YouTube highlights or how to clips. It could even mean getting a book from the library. Speak to several people to give you different perspectives.

This is advice for a 14 year old. It’s also good advice for a 41 year old.

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What Is Your Superpower?

Posted on October 20, 2020

Everyone has one. If you don’t know yours, you should have a little think about it. What is your superpower? How do you use it?

Kids tend to know their own superpower and that of the other kids. They know if the are brilliant and lightning quick at solving a Rubik’s Cube, like my son. He knew it because he could time himself. It became more obvious to him as children he didn’t even know would come up to him at school, hand him their cube and ask him to fix it for them. He always did. This was proof that others knew his super power too.

Remember, you can have more than one superpower. For example, Superman had incredible strength, heat vision and flight, to name a few. In contrast, you may not know of any power yet. Sometimes these are revealed at different times in life. It may be more about ‘when the student is ready, the teacher appears’. Or perhaps it is a matter of ‘seek and ye shall find’.

One other thing about this, is that your power may be underdeveloped. You will need to work at it, test it and experiment. It will grow stronger and you will be better able to control it as you work at it. You will need to have focus, discipline and persistence.

What is your superpower?

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Looking Back At 80

Posted on October 19, 2020

How will you look back on your life? What will be in it? What will have been worth the price you paid? Looking back at 80 is an important exercise to do many times when you are younger.

Imagine you are 80 years old. Can you look back over the span of 80 years and be filled with joy and contentment? There are a lot of tough questions in there. You will have to face your expectations versus reality gap and hope there is positive gap (reality ended up better) rather than a negative one.

It raises some helpful thoughts that should be considered throughout our lives. You might ask yourself the following questions. Am I living a good life? Should I spend more time and energy on family, career, finances, mental health, physical fitness or my community? How can I do more for others or myself? What will I accept or be happy with?

Its going to be harder to achieve anything once you reach your 80’s. There are many that keep going like Warren Buffett. However, you’ll have to have good genes, stay healthy and have a little luck on your side.

You may wish you had worked harder, studied more, saved more money or maintained better fitness. There is still time to change the outcome but you’ll have to put the effort in.

Looking back at 80 should be a delightful experience.

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A Crowd Attracts A Crowd

Posted on October 16, 2020

Social proof is a very real and powerful thing. This is why one or two determined people can change the world. A crowd attracts a crowd and it all starts with someone.

Have you ever noticed how one person standing around looking at something can attract another? Then two or three more wander over to see what the fuss is about. Soon you have seven, 10 and then 25 people hovering about.

This is how buskers make a living. They know how to attract a few people, keep them engaged and then more people join. This is also how people build a social media presence. And how great sandwich shops build their reputation even more.

Having to make a reservation weeks in advance is another queuing system. Whether it is for a posh restaurant, hair salon, spa or to get tickets for an event, queuing up suggests demand. Demand indicates interest. The queue symbolises scarcity. Our nature is to crave those things that are scarce. If it was abundant, we would relax a little.

If you are selling something, it helps if there is scarcity, interest, demand and a queue. Make that happen and you will be on your way.

A crowd attracts a crowd. Try to make sure it is for good reasons.

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It Depends

Posted on October 13, 2020

You’re unlikely to ever know the optimal route ahead. Just as you are unlikely to ever discover how your ’what if’ moments would have turned out. It depends on millions of actions, reactions and further ripples in your life and others.

Your tastes, perspectives and priorities can change. Whether it is due to time, age, company, awareness or some other matter, how you perceive things can adjust. This can be only slightly or a complete 180 degrees. Some people even do a 360 degree change. Just ask anyone who has divorced someone only to remarry them again later.

Life is such an exact and detailed process. Changing one tiny little thing, on a long trajectory, can land you in such a different place. This idea has been explored in so many different ways. One that springs to mind, as I am in London, is the movie Sliding Doors.

Often people will reflect back on their What If moment and decide everything would be the same, except that one thing better. Rarely do people think they would have died, been poorer, or been in any other less well off situation.

This type of thinking can easily lead back to the expectation versus reality gap. By exaggerating the heightened expectation against an unchangeable reality, you are likely to feel a slight depression. So don’t do that. We won’t ever know, because it depends.

Assume life would have been worse in any other scenario. If you want change, start now, not in the past.

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How Did I End Up Here?

Posted on October 12, 2020

Have you ever connected your dots? It is useful to understand what decisions, thoughts and moments brought you to right now. How did I end up here?

Over the last couple of years, I have looked back and reflected on key decisions I have made and how they affected the direction of my life. It’s a fascinating exercise. Even more so, if you can be fearless in examining why you have chosen to do something.

This can help you understand why you choose some things over others. It also lets you know more about what you value and what you are attracted to.

One pivotal moment, I recall, was being 19 and walking to a university lecture in Ottawa, Canada. I saw a flyer on the stairs and picked it up. It was about travelling to various destinations around the world. A minute later I had reached my class and finished reading the parts that interested me the most.

I sat down and turned to my friend Kevin. I declared that I would finish the term and then take a year off to travel around Australia, New Zealand and the South Pacific. Excited, I studied, planned and worked to make and save money. Several months later I was on a jet headed to Auckland.

‘How did I end up here?’, I thought.

But actually, I knew.

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What Are You Attracting?

Posted on October 6, 2020

We know what we want. Most people know what they don’t want too. Maybe they know it better. However, what are you attracting?

We are always moving towards or away from people, things and ideas. In addition, people are constantly moving further from, or closer to us. What is it that brings them closer and what repels them away?

It’s an important thing to take note of and be aware of. For example, you may ask, ”Is it something I said?”. You might also wonder, “Is it my clothes, hair, physique, mindset, success or other particular thing or combination?”

People will be attracted to you, if they find you attractive. The people that you attract may be the ones you want in your group. However, sometimes they are not the types you wish to have around.

Consider who you are attracted to. Then reflect on why you are attracted to them. You will need to be specific. In addition, I suggest that you write it down so you are clear. Pull this piece of paper out once a week and add to it. But also learn from it by understanding what you see.

What are you attracting? Who are you attracting?

What would you like to be different? How will you adjust?

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

Your Source Of Frustration

Posted on October 3, 2020

Recently there seems to be growing tension and anxiety in the universe. If you are feeling it too, look into your source of frustration. This one simple step can resolve a lot of aggravation and challenging feelings.

Perhaps you know what gets you agitated already. It could be your partner, a family member, the media, your social media feeds, someone or something at work, or even the trains being delayed.

If you don’t know what it is that agitates you, then have a think about. Monitor yourself today and consciously notice when you start to get a bit more anxious or frustrated. Notice what you are doing at that moment. Are you watching, reading, listening, conversing or observing?

I notice quite a few people develop some tension while engaging in the news. One thing I have found useful is to stop reading much news. I have also noticed that so many ‘news’ outlets are actually ‘opinion‘ outlets. And many of these tend toward the negative.

It doesn’t matter what the information they are conveying is, there is always ‘a risk’ or ‘a problem’. Sometimes they highlight ‘incompetence’, ‘intolerance’ and ‘lies’. Most do not provide only the facts for you to consider. They feed you the anxious feelings too. This might make your head ache and you’ll be grumpy with others.

Reduce your source of frustration.

Tap into something new.

Gratitude Observe Time

Dealing With Disappointment

Posted on October 1, 2020

I’m sure we have all had an expectation which wasn’t met. Therefore, dealing with disappointment will have been a factor in our life, whether it was a grade at school, sporting challenge, friendship or dining experience.

We all deal with disappointment differently. Some of our coping mechanisms will have been learned observationally through watching our parents. Some will have come from friends, books and strangers.

As with anything, we should strive, with an open mind, to find the best techniques and tips. There may be 10-20 options to choose from. Some will work well for us and others will be less effective.

Regardless, it’s a good skill to learn and develop. Improving on our ability to be resilient is a very good idea. This is an important point as, generally, as we grow older, the problems can become more significant with greater implications. So it is ideal to learn very good skills early on and hone them for when the big challenges occur.

Today I went for my quarterly blood donation. I’ve recently adjusted my diet a little and it seems I was just a tad low on iron. So I was thanked for coming and told to try again in three months.

I was more disappointed than I thought I should be. However, dealing with disappointment like this is good practice for the big stuff in life.

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Decoding Communications

Posted on September 30, 2020

Engaging with someone can be tricky business. There is a lot of room for error and misunderstanding. Decoding communications can be helpful but you need to be aware of the pitfalls.

Have you ever thought, “There is no way they can disagree with this point”. And then the other persons finds a way. Why is that? What happened between your very clear and concise thought and their response to it?

First there is your intent. That is reflected in how you say something. Are you being bossy, suggestive, argumentative or condescending?

Then there are also the words you use and the order you use them. Words can mean different things to different people at different times. For example, we often get a giggle at our house when referring to pants. For the Canadian parents, pants are trousers. Whereas the British children more commonly know pants as underwear. But there are other words which can elicit quite strong emotional responses.

There is also the element of who is saying it. “You are chatting again”, might have a very different impact on a couple of teenagers if it comes from their teacher. But if it is said by a friend at lunch time, it might come across with more humour.

Decoding communications can be challenging. These are just some of the issues you can encounter.