Observe Archives - Page 60 of 69

Here Is What You Are Going To Realise

Posted on November 20, 2020

Life is long but short. Time can fly and it can crawl. You will get older. At some point in your life, here is what you are going to realise.

There are few things you can control. And yet, you control everything about your life. If you don’t make the little sacrifices now, you will need to make larger ones later on. You will be passing the baton at some point in time. Unfortunately, you do not know when that moment will be or who it will be to.

I think we also realise that we could have done more with our time on this planet. Not just more for ourselves, but more for other people too. The crazy thing is that we wouldn’t have to do massive amounts more, just a little bit more from each of us.

You will leave a legacy, whether you believe it or not. Not everyone will have the same view but that is ok. Some will love things you have done and others will hardly have noticed. Still others will not like what you have done or how you did it. Take no notice of the critics. Positive feedback is one thing but generalised criticism is unworthy of your good intentions.

Here is what you are going to realise. No one wins. Just enjoy your ride.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

You’re Not Wrong

Posted on November 16, 2020

Or are you right? They may sound like the same thing but often enough they are not. If you guessed they were though, you’re not wrong.

I’ve always found this phrase a strange one. If I am not wrong, doesn’t that mean I am right? On the surface the answer might be yes. Though sometimes people have one or two other options which they believe to be correct or more right than your view. So those options would be more right than your position. This is a possibility.

Alternatively, you could simply be right. By that, I also mean the most right. However, the person responding to you might have a negative frame of mind and therefore responds to things with a more negative angle.

Sometimes though, the person just does not like to admit they are wrong. Or even worse, for some, is to acknowledge that you are right! One way to check what they mean is to ask them, ‘Does that mean I am right?’. Sometimes their reaction to that question is the best bit regardless of what their answer is. In my experience of asking the question, I have noticed it really gets people to stop and think.

Enjoy those times when ‘you’re not wrong’ means ‘you‘re right’!

Action Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts

Learning While Teaching

Posted on November 13, 2020

Learning something is good. Being able to convey that knowledge to someone else is brilliant. Learning while teaching a skill or subject is possibly the highest form of engaged interaction.

I’ve heard good teachers, speakers and sports personalities refer to how much they learn while sharing their knowledge or skill. It is an interesting aspect of life. By giving someone the benefit of our experience, knowledge or skill, not only will they gain, but we gain as well.

However, we may only gain if we are paying attention and open to learning. If we assume we are only providing information, we may miss the opportunity to receive feedback loops of learning.

It takes a certain skill to transfer knowledge from yourself to someone else. Not everyone is good at it, though it can be learned. Though while you are transferring that knowledge, you can also reassess how you learned, understood or integrated that knowledge. During this process, you may look at things in a new light. Perhaps new experiences, thoughts or information will impact your perception and adjust your mindset.

Although it can be quite difficult to be confronted with new points of view, it is beneficial to grasp those moments. If there was only one best way and one right answer, we would all know it by now.

Learning while teaching is a worthwhile skill to develop.

Gratitude Observe Think About It Time

The Sounds Of Children Playing

Posted on November 12, 2020

Playgrounds and schoolyards can be immensely fun and filled with energy, excitement and enthusiasm. The sounds of children playing can be music to our ears.

We live near a primary school, which has it’s pros and cons. Certainly one of the pros, for me, is that every weekday, for the entire lunch period, I can hear the frolicking fun being had by all. It does bring a smile to my face as I hear the enjoyable mixing of their fluctuating voices.

Not only is it fun to hear them and imagine them playing games like ‘it’, but it is fun to reminisce too. Thinking back to the times when you were 6 or 9 is always interesting. What games did you play? Who were your very good friends? What did you do and talk about for an hour at lunch?

It is fun to think back and remember the easier memories and also stretch your mind to recall other things that have more dust on them. It can be pleasant, painful and helpful to remind oneself of the days of their childhood. You can learn a lot about where you are now but understanding how you were then.

They’ve gone inside now. The playground has fallen quiet.

There can be a hollow emptiness once you can no longer hear the sounds of children playing.

Action Observe Think About It

How Do You Decide?

Posted on November 11, 2020

Decisions are based on feelings. But there are reasons behind them. Though often they are difficult to deconstruct. How do you decide?

People start with a gut instinct or initial reaction. This kind of thinking allows you to swerve your car or bike in a split second to avoid hitting a pedestrian. It can also be used when meeting a new friend or partner.

This fast decision making is based on our natural instincts and personal experience. Sometimes it serves us very well and saves our life. It is often referred to as ‘quick thinking’. This is more of a reactionary mode with little time, if any, spent on processing new information.

Other times, we make a decision but we don’t act quickly with it. We will observe, question, theorise and consider evidence a little more. You can recognise this when speaking to someone as they take time to reflect and give the idea some consideration before replying.

In the later, people who have ‘mulled it over’ have a better understanding of themselves and why they are making the decision. If you simply react, you are not open to new information and dismiss it as wrong or unnecessary.

If you don’t reflect, you may not understand what values and priorities drive your decision making. You’ll grow more if you do.

How do you decide?

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Normalisation Has Pros And Cons

Posted on November 10, 2020

Normal and normalising sound like good words to me. However, they have a darker side that receives less attention. Normalisation has pros and cons and you are better prepared if you know some of them.

Normal sounds regular, acceptable, average and uncontroversial. It has a nice sound to it. For example, ‘She seems fairly normal’, or, ‘We need to normalise relations with them’ have a positive tone to them.

Although it does depend on what you deem acceptable for normal and what you are comfortable with. Is smoking normal? If you ask a group of smokers, the answer is more likely to be yes. For fresh air advocates, rolling up dried leaves, setting it on fire and inhaling it may not seem normal.

So perhaps we note that you hold the belief that smoking is not normal or desirable. However, you might meet someone interesting and later on find out they smoke. Gradually, through numerous interactions with the person, you may start to normalise smoking. Your graduated exposure to smoking and the brand enhancement it receives being associated to a likeable person makes it less unpalatable.

If five more friendly smokers join your new group, you may find yourself moving from neutral to engaged and begin smoking.

Normalisation has pros and cons.

Observe Think About It

Life Isn’t Fair

Posted on November 8, 2020

We all want life to be fair. We want a fair match when we watch sports, a fair hearing in court and a fair interview in our career. However, life isn’t fair. Or at least, most people can’t see how it is fair in some circumstances.

I have found that remembering that life isn’t fair is very helpful during challenging times. It comes back to the expectation versus reality gap. If you expect life to be fair, every time you don’t think it is, you will be frustrated.

My children hear this phrase frequently too. I remind them that life doesn’t always look fair in the present, the short run or the long run. However, it may be fair eventually, particularly if you believe in karma. Or it may never be fair, especially if you don’t believe there is an entity watching and keeping score.

Though I do suggest to them that they can try to make life fairer by their own thoughts and actions. If someone is having a bad day, they can try to make it better with a kind word or a small token. They can also play by the rules of the game and ensure the people on their team do too.

Life can be tough and life isn’t fair. But we have a responsibility to try to ensure it is as fair as possible.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

You Find What You Are Looking For

Posted on November 7, 2020

You can find good in a person. And you can find bad. Just like a coin, there are two sides. However, you find what you are looking for so step back and assess your search criteria.

If you only want to focus on one side of a coin, that is all you will ever see. You will not understand what the observers of the other side of the coin are referring to, if you never go and have a good look.

Now you may prefer the head of the coin for a number of reasons. Or you may prefer the tail. But just because you focus on one side only, doesn’t mean the other side doesn’t exist. And people may find value and joy in looking at the side which isn’t your preference. That doesn’t make looking at, or liking, the other side wrong. It just makes it different from your perspective.

It is simply diversity of thought. However, sometimes people want diversity as long as it is the same as their ideas. Being a true advocate of diversity often entails understanding ideas that you may not like or agree with. It depends if you are looking to understand someone’s preferences or looking for reasons why their point of view is inferior. Different doesn’t have to mean worse.

You find what you are looking for.

Gratitude Observe Progress Think About It

The Big Stuff Is Behind Us

Posted on November 5, 2020

It’s easy to find something to complain about. There are even times that certain people will go as far as outrage. The big stuff is behind us though. Not that the world can’t be an even better place with a little more tinkering. However, we need some balance to ensure the tinkering doesn’t go too far.

What I mean is this. There is a lot more acceptance between people on the big things. In most of the 37 OECD countries there are few, if any, major rights not available to all people. All races and genders are able to freely vote. People have the right to liberty and freedom of expression and religion.

There is an abundance of opportunity for all people. The majority of people in these countries seem to be fine with where things are at. Yes, there will always be small groups or individuals that feel that the laws and norms don’t quite work for them. The good news is that those people can work towards having things improved for them.

Now, we can still tip into an abyss. However, it is ever less likely to happen. As people continue to get comfortable with improving standards of living, fewer will want to wage wars, riot or remove socially agreed basic human rights.

The big stuff is behind us.

Observe Think About It

What An Election!

Posted on November 3, 2020

Very tense moments. Emotional roller coaster. So many plot twists and great uncertainty. Who will play the leads in the movie? What an election!

I wrote this early on, before the in person, on-the-day voting started. So I have no idea while writing this, how things turn out. I just foresee it being an exciting night of tension, emotion and high drama. Entertaining!

Did it landslide to the left? Or did it landslide to the right? Are they down to one last voting district that will decide the whole thing? Maybe they are recounting. Oddly, despite lots of pre-election time to vote in person or by mail, some states have allowed people to go past the voting deadline of 3rd November. That seems to be asking for a bit of unnecessary confusion and court involvement.

Neither candidate will want to concede right away if it is super close in some key states. You wouldn’t either after all your effort, money and campaigning.

So unless it is a landslide in the electoral college with no close calls that would change anything, we could have a few weeks of legal battles to get through.

I believe both men will accept the result if it looks fair and convincing or if the Supreme Court needs to rule on it.

Hopefully that won’t be necessary.

What an election!