Observe Archives - Page 63 of 69

They Are The Problem

Posted on September 15, 2020

That’s right. We know exactly who is ruining everything. When things go wrong, we can confidently say that they are the problem.

The media know it. You know it. People seem to reference them all the time.

We, of course, are not the problem. This is because we know better, we are more aware and we tell everyone so they can improve their lives. We are the solution. It is a simple solution in this complex world. Broad generalisations always avoid schisms.

If only they could see things the way we see things. They would then do things differently. Obviously differently means better. And not just a fraction better. It would mean doing things significantly better.

We know our way is practically perfect. In fact, everything should work as we prescribe. If only they would listen.

In addition to not clearly understanding the issues or the gravity of many situations, they are prone to hyperbole and embellishment. This doesn’t help. They seem to be swayed by others.

Clarifying the actual point is another problem. It’s a bit like whack-a-mole. We make our point clearly and succinctly. They then misunderstand and reply with a tangential point. They then miss the original point and confuse the second one.

We know they are the problem. When will they realise it?

Observe Think About It

How Do You Pick Your Team?

Posted on September 12, 2020

It used to be where you were born. For some it was who their father supported. How do you pick your team? It’s not always so straightforward anymore.

Sometimes you need to break with traditional ways to make progress. Traditions can be excellent and welcome, like welcoming in the new year. Though some we can do without ever witnessing again.

Today people can pick their sports team, and other alliances, quite freely. This is a blessing and a curse. As there are no historical ties encouraging you to support one over another, you may not feel securely tied to anything.

Some will choose by colour of uniform. Others by their winning record. Yet others choose because they side with the underdog. If you think about it, that could be how we subconsciously find a mate, political party or even which company to work for.

Once you select your side, then you need to embed deep. Learn the songs and the rivalries. Buy the uniform and wear the gear. You get quite fully invested in it. These are now your people. And your cross town rival with all their supporters are your arch enemy.

And once you’ve chosen a side and become invested, it is very hard to leave, never mind switch to the opposition.

How do you pick your team?

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Catch People Doing Something Well

Posted on September 9, 2020

It’s so easy to criticise. Especially if you continue to practice doing it. Of greater benefit to one and all is to catch people doing something well.

I think I read about this in a parenting book many years ago. It really struck me. Although we want to guide our children and others well, it can mean we provide a disproportionate amount of negative feedback.

What builds confidence and leads to greater capability is hearing good and positive feedback. For most kids, they will do 99% of things in the good zone. Check whether you are giving 99% of your feedback on those good things they are doing.

This is the same with colleagues, other family members, the government, health care workers, police and teachers.

Every day, one hundred thousand things have to go right, at the right time. That’s just for things to go smoothly. If one thing isn’t right, try not to focus on that. Focus on all the other things going well.

There are various ways to address this. One is to recognise several of the good things that they have done, especially any they did particularly well. Often you can leave it there. A lot of times they already know what they could have done better.

Catch people doing something well and you’ll see more smiles.

Action Observe Think About It

Addressing Your Bias

Posted on September 7, 2020

Most people have a bias. Yes, even you. Maybe for some things, you might remain neutral. But what if I say, “Trump”? Addressing your bias, whenever you have one, is a useful endeavour.

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”
Epictetus

How you react to something reveals your bias. And the more you practice looking for the bias in others, the more you will see it. The bias will come through in body language and the words people use.

As I mentioned in my previous post about fire, everything is neutral until you give it energy in one direction or another. Be careful what you give your energy to.

If you are serious about understanding where your biased thoughts are, try accessing a different information source for one week.

For example. if you usually source from the Guardian or CNN, try Fox News and vice versa. If you are more conservative and pro-Trump, you may be watching Candace Owens or the Hodge Twins. This would mean you would switch with those more left leaning that may be reading The Atlantic or The Washington Post.

I have found YouTube quite interesting in this challenge. It’s algorithm exposes you to things that you wouldn’t normally see if you usually go direct to apps.

Addressing your bias can be a fun and enlightening experience.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

How You See Things

Posted on September 3, 2020

I find it fascinating watching people discuss a topic. Often they will use facts and reasonable points but reach different conclusions. How you see things is a massive determinant in your life.

The US initial jobless claims have been announced by the US Department of Labour. It noted that the weekly claims were down about 110,000. It was roughly 1 million last week. This week it was 880,000. The comparable week in 2019 was circa 179,000.

So some people have noted that there is a downward trend in the weekly jobless claims, which there is. Other people noted that, compared to last year, the jobless claims are about 4.5 times higher, which it is. Both parties are right but they choose different data to make their point.

Some people will emphasise that things are getting better. They may want the incumbent President re-elected so promote the good news. Or their business may depend on the economy improving so they are sounding optimistic in the hopes others will be too. The opposite is also true. In addition, if you want or need more government money, you may highlight the negative numbers.

How you see things is not always clear cut. You often see things to suit the narrative you have in your mind already. With a cloudy vision, you can make decisions detrimental to your future.

Observe Think About It

Be Careful Of That Kodak Moment

Posted on August 26, 2020

Have you ever held onto your position or point of view too long? It gets embedded for maybe the wrong reasons. Be careful of that Kodak moment. That moment when you realise, “things have changed and I am out of touch now”. That can be a painful moment if it is left too long.

You see, we can get attached to our position. We can also defend it. Perhaps we have fought for it. And it seems to have been right. This is because many people have supported us and the results have been very favourable. This is just how Kodak felt over the decades of being in the photography industry.

They felt they had an unassailable position. Things just wouldn’t change that much and they would remain the go-to name in that space. As the leader in that space, they wasted over a decade. Then, the upstarts and technology, fads and trends saw the whole field get turned on its head.

By the time they realised that they had missed the boat on digital photography, it was too late. And so, most people had already moved on to a new party. In addition, they found other players who were far more prepared for the changing world ahead.

We saw this with records, books and cars. Where else do you see the newer ideas and people supplanting the old? Be careful of that Kodak moment.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Happy With Your Default Lens?

Posted on August 24, 2020

When we are conscious, we can choose to look at the world from different angles and through several different lenses. Are you happy with your default lens?

Usually we have a preferred, or default, lens that we see the world through. This lens can energise us, depress us, frustrate or inspire. It can help us to be hopeful, critical, cynical, fearful or resilient.

The wild thing about this lens is that, just like with a pair of glasses, you can change it. With a different prescription you will see things better or worse.

With the best lenses you can see with greater clarity, less effort and more enjoyment. If your glasses aren’t well prescribed, life can seem fuzzy, take more effort and you may have more headaches and frustration.

With the right lenses you can focus on the good in everyone. You can accept the imperfections and be grateful for seeing people strive to make life better. You might even be able to see what others are trying to do rather than project diabolical assumptions onto them.

Most people want a better life for themselves, their loved ones and the world. Usually it is in that order. They may see a different route than you to achieve that. Encourage people while they improve rather than try to destroy them because you think you could live their life better.

Are you happy with your default lens?

Action Observe Think About It

Some Will And Some Won’t

Posted on August 20, 2020

People can be divided up into these two categories. Regardless of the situation or context, some will and some won’t. Get familiar with which people will end up in which group.

Perhaps you’ve invited people to a meeting. A group of the invitees will come to the meeting. Several people will not. Maybe you’ve transacted business with some people. Some will pay you and a few will not.

Having an opportunity fall into your lap is wonderful. There are those that will act on it straight away and use that opportunity to grow and succeed. Though there are always some people that will hide, shirk or otherwise ‘miss’ the opportunity.

The trick is to not get discouraged. Simply remember that some will and some won’t. Then focus on those that do. Help them. Work with those people. Forget about the people that won’t do their own push ups. Unable is one thing. However, choosing not to make the effort that will benefit them, that is another story.

I’m willing to help people that are willing to help themselves. Even better if they can take a little direction. Being able to see the reality they are in and confront the brutal facts of that reality is also beneficial.

So, in general, are you one that will or won’t?

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts Video

How Bad Do You Want It?

Posted on August 18, 2020

Most things are a passing fancy. We talk about our wants and all those nice to haves. The question is though, “How bad do you want it?”.

I know when I want something bad enough now. I watch what I do. And that is how you know if someone else has an item as their #1 priority. Do not listen to what they say. Simply watch what they do. Success leaves clues and a trail of debris – like sawdust.

There may be emotional or logical reasons why you aren’t doing what you say you want. But they are still reasons and not results. You choose to get distracted. The person accountable for your life is that person staring back at you in the mirror.

I am grateful that my friend Eric sent me the attached video about 5 years ago. Since then, I have watched it many times. I get very pumped up when I see it. It has some hard hitting truths in it. It reminds me whether I want something bad enough. Am I making the effort of a champion? Can I do better than this if I played my A game?

If you think you’re trying and not getting the results you want, watch this video. In less than 15 minutes, you will have the answer to the question, “How bad do you want it?”.

Pain is temporary. Massive action not words.

Gratitude Observe

These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things

Posted on August 16, 2020

Do you have a list, or lists, like this? Somewhere that you group all of your best stuff? ‘These are a few of my favourite things’ could be the heading.

Over the years I have written these lists of favourites. Some I have kept as I find them interesting to look back on. It’s fun to look at what ‘old me’ liked. Though I guess it could be seen as ‘young me’ instead. Or maybe even ‘previous me’.

I’ve created the favourite list for songs, albums, photos, destinations, movies and activities. Of course there are other lists too. You could have favourite memories or actors, musicians, foods, restaurants or books. It all depends on what you like to collect, curate, or catalogue.

Sometimes I’ve made a quick list. And other times it is more thoughtful. I know that some lists I have misplaced and others I have thrown away. Perhaps this has been the case for you too.

When I look at a selection of my favourite photos from years ago, it can feel quite distant because you see the changes. However, if I play a song from 35 years ago, I can feel myself in the moment. I am transformed.

What are some of the lists you have made? How do they make you feel?