Observe Archives - Page 65 of 70

Marking Your Progress

Posted on July 22, 2020

How do you know you are moving forward? Some situations are more obvious than others, such as moving up a year group at school. Marking your progress outside of school becomes more difficult.

It isn’t impossible. It usually just requires more effort because you have to do your own assessment and tracking. Then you need to judge your level and prepare for the next step.

At school, the teachers prepare the training exercises and become your accountability partner. They also assess your work and keep track of your test scores and engagement level. The department of education maintains the structure. For example, we know that after your 3rd year at school, most children move along to their 4th year.

In a work environment, your immediate boss takes the place of the teacher. They set the work to be done, assess it and keep track of your performance. The company directors determine pay and organisational structures.

Your personal development is usually up to you to organise. And what your next role will be is also in your hands. You may choose to stay in the company or try a different company or industry. Sometimes people try something entirely new.

Whatever it is you are doing, marking your progress is important. On a scale of 1-10 for each category, where are you with work, relationships, wealth, health and fitness? Now make note of where you want to be and plan how to close those gaps.

Action Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts

What You Focus On Grows

Posted on July 19, 2020

If you want to become great at something or develop a skill, you need to focus on it. What you focus on grows and what you ignore, doesn’t grow.

Back to the farm days for a moment to make this clear. If you focus on planting seeds and tending to the weeds, you’ll be able to grow crops. If you focus on the back porch, the rocking chair and a cold beer, you may not have any crops in the autumn.

Fans of Star Wars have also witnessed how your mind can shift depending on what you focus on. We saw this with Anakin Skywalker when he focused on being the best Jedi. However, after the sad situation with his mother, he began to focus on hate, anger and revenge. This grew inside him until it consumed him, which didn’t turn out well.

Thankfully we can stay in the light by focusing on pleasant things. It really is your choice. Though as we know, it requires effort, patience and time.

Focus on your accomplishments and the success you see in your future. Write these out and review them daily. Add to them whenever you can as well. Remove anything from your day that makes you start to feel negative, whether it is news, specific conversations or situations.

What you focus on grows. Make sure you are building a better you each day.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

The Glass Is Half Full

Posted on July 16, 2020

The glass has 250 ml of water in it. That is the fact. Your interpretation of the situation could lead you to say that the glass is half full. Or you could announce that the glass is half empty.

Many studies have been made of this simple exercise. In addition to scientific research, many people have tried to elicit people’s opinions at home or in a pub.

Many people believe your answer gives insight as to whether you perceive things in a more optimistic or pessimistic way. Another way to look at it is whether a person has an abundance mindset or a scarcity mindset.

Either way, unless you describe it as 250 ml of water or that the water is at about the halfway mark, then you are using your opinion. And that opinion can be rather revealing

Though having a negative bias or positive bias on such an insignificant matter, probably isn’t going to change your life. However, this minor bias can start to be the way you see more things.

This bias can develop into a positive cycle of abundance and appreciation or a negative cycle of scarcity and criticism. The shift is so subtle at first. Most people will not notice it. But as your bias continues to strengthen, you and others may start to pick up on the focus.

Your glass may never be filled to the top.

So when the glass is half full, enjoy it!

Observe Progress Think About It

The Half Year Highlights

Posted on July 14, 2020

We need to keep track of our wins and celebrate them. So get out your journal, or any piece of paper, and your pen. The half year highlights need to be listed out.

We are in the midst of Q2 earnings season. This is when companies reveal how they did in the second quarter of the year (April, May, June). Granted, this year has been a little different so far. But the announcements coming out are making interesting reading, especially when comparing to Q1 2020 or Q2 in 2019.

Every quarter, corporations note down their key accomplishments and share them. You should also get into this habit. Though you do not have to share them. However, you should be honest with yourself. It is easy to make excuses, develop reasons and blame circumstances. There is no need to do that. You are better than that.

So if you have your monthly goals list, you can compare against that. If for some reason you did not set out your goals in late 2019, you can simply note down your highlights to date.

Be clear and specific. For example, I can note that I have written this daily blog every day since I started on 10th January (on target). In addition, I have had readers from 50 different countries (well above target). Finally, the family has successfully come through this initial Covid period (on target).

The half year highlights should also be celebrated ?. Presumably you have worked hard and been disciplined to achieve these milestones and make progress on your goals. Even if you weren’t quite on target, you will have sacrificed time and effort to get your results. Celebrate them and work harder and smarter in the next quarter.

Good luck!

Observe Reframe your thoughts

It’s An Opinion

Posted on July 13, 2020

We can get fairly worked up over an opinion. A long time ago, I can remember vigorously debating with friends. It’s an opinion, became my overriding thought. I don’t need to change theirs. It doesn’t change the reality.

What is useful is to understand their opinion. A person usually holds a different opinion because they have either received information in a different way to you or they have had a personal experience.

Their opinion is valid. It can take people a very long time to change their perspective and their opinion – ask Copernicus. There are many barriers. Not least of which is being an outcast from one of their dominant tribes.

Try to discover more about their opinion.

Stop and listen. Both sides. See what specific, periphery ideas you can agree on. Note those. Then progress to other common ground. Discover what specific item is you are disagreeing on. Are there any facts you could search the internet for? Are there interviews, podcasts or videos outlining the idea from various perspectives? Is there someone who may be more eloquent with respect to this topic? A third party may reduce the tension and emotion.

Your opinion is simply an opinion based on what you are aware of at the time.

For example, it used to be conventional wisdom that Christopher Columbus ‘discovered’ the ‘New World’. For people who had never heard of this land mass before, Chris discovered it. But for the people who lived there, he was a visitor at best.

He didn’t create that new land mass. He went looking for something new and found it. A bit like someone looking for your wallet and jokingly calling out ‘finders keepers‘ when their hand is in your pocket.

When it’s an opinion, let it go calmly.

Observe Think About It

Your Dominant Tribe

Posted on July 11, 2020

Have you ever found yourself torn between two groups of people? It could involve friends, family, associates or others. Your dominant tribe will usually shine through when you are in this position.

Imagine yourself walking along the road with four good friends that you haven’t seen in awhile. You are heading to a restaurant to have a fabulous, fun, dinner together.

You pass by the local concert hall on the way and notice one of your favourite bands is playing and it starts in 30 minutes. Two of your friends are super keen on the concert but the other two need to eat and head off.

Now you have many different forces tugging on you and pulling you in different directions. Will you go with the concert-goer tribe or dinner-going tribe?

There will be emotions at play as well, such as the guilt of spending time with one couple of friends instead of the other. There might also be the fear of missing out, either of a great concert or an exciting catch-up over a delicious meal.

Sometimes these moments of decision are easy and at other times they can be quite difficult. Reviewing the decision the next day can be instructive as they help you understand the forces in your life. Your deepest values tend to shine through in these moments.

Your dominant tribe is not always so obvious when core values are put to the test.

Health & Fitness Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts Time

Expectations v Reality Gap

Posted on July 8, 2020

It is wonderful to have great expectations. Having them also brings you hope for a better future. However, the expectations v reality gap (ER Gap), must be monitored closely as it can destroy your mind.

Our own expectations for our life, and the world around us, is often being recalibrated. This is usually in an upward trajectory. For example, it feels good to believe that I will make more money, have a better relationship, progress in my career and be healthier. The opposite is not very encouraging or motivating.

It is useful to have expectations surpassing our current reality. Doing this gives you hope and an objective to strive toward. This will help to motivate you to take action toward fulfilling those expectations.

However, there are two cautions to be noted.

Firstly, be careful not to let your expectations get too far ahead of your reality. It is easier to get disheartened if you are chasing the big dream and not seeming to make any progress. Remember to divide up your goal and expectations into steps or levels. As your reality reaches the next level you will gain momentum. Then you can recalibrate to focus on the next step in the process.

The second caution is to recalibrate your expectations downward when your reality is negatively impacted. So if your career, school grades, finances, health or athletic goals suffer a setback, recalibrate your expectations. You can do this by adding in a few more steps to your timeline. You can also extend your timeline out a little.

These two cautions are very important for your mental health. If the expectations v reality gap gets too wide, you will torment yourself and cause undue stress in your life.

Mind the Gap and stay out of the ER (A&E).

Gratitude Observe Progress

When Is A Problem Solved?

Posted on July 7, 2020

There are often different solutions to problems. And some problems have had tremendous progress. But when is a problem solved?

If I have a cut on my arm, I usually consider the initial problem solved once it stops bleeding. Usually I consider the whole problem resolved when any scab is gone and the area looks similar to how it was. If there is a little mark or scar that reminds me of the problem, that is fine. It’s not ideal but it is fine.

Some problems are more difficult to conclude that they are resolved. For example, there has been a very recent case of bubonic plague in Asia. It was once a highly feared and deadly disease. Now it can be controlled more easily. Is it a crisis? Is it a problem? At what point would you have unanimous opinion that it is no longer a problem?

We can look at homelessness, illiteracy and poverty in a similar way. Is there a measure whereby you would have unanimous agreement that these challenges were no longer a problem?

People build organisations and associations to tackle a problem. Usually this is a good way to deal with an issue. Unions would be a good example. Union membership is well down from 60 years ago though. Is there a point in the future that they will no longer be useful? Perhaps sufficient legislation will be in place or the culture will be sufficiently different to make unions irrelevant.

If that were to become the case, what would happen to the dwindling union organisations? When would they say that their job was done and it was time to close up shop?

When solving a problem, remember to be clear about the metric that determines that the job is done.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Am I Misinterpreting You Correctly?

Posted on July 6, 2020

Have you ever said something and the other person asks, “Are you saying I’m (fat, ugly, stupid, etc)?”? “Am I misinterpreting you correctly?” is what they should be asking.

Rarely have I heard someone respond with a positive expectation, such as, “Are you saying I look fit and fabulous?”.

Why is it that, when we try to decipher an underlying meaning to a statement, we overwhelmingly err on the negative side? Why are we looking for some unspoken meaning in the first place? Take the compliment, or comment, and thank the other person with a smile.

Even if it is not said with perfect words, and in the order you would want to hear it, the other person is trying. If you want them to keep trying, practice and improve, then encourage them. Try not to shut them down quickly and resist their actual intention with a cynical mindset.

Now sometimes the intention of the person is not good. There are times the person saying the words have the intent to harm. Though occasionally it can be difficult to tell. Especially if you are looking for the negative, or you tend to the cynical side and believe most people have poor intentions.

Either way, this is unfortunate, unnecessary and unacceptable. It is usually the result of a childhood that lacked good role models and an adult life with little curiosity to improve. A quick, confident and genuine, “Thank you for taking an interest”, should throw them off and end the exchange.

The next time someone says something you might not like, before responding, ask yourself, “Am I misinterpreting you correctly?”.

Observe Think About It

What Do You Look For In Other People?

Posted on July 2, 2020

I’m not sure many people consciously consider the traits they look for in friends or associates. What do you look for in other people? Are there five or six must have items on your list? Perhaps, like many people, your friendship circle is simply a collection of people you got along with well at some point.

We tend to veer towards groups with people who have similar interests like cars, property, music, surfing or bridge. And usually people bump along meeting others in that group until they find someone who they click with.

Is there a more efficient way to go about this? Speed dating fascinates me for this reason. On the surface it seems rather cold and unromantic. But it has an undeniable efficiency. Whether you have a list of ‘must haves’ or not, people tend to know within a few minutes whether the person has ‘heck yes’ potential or not.

And, if they don’t have the potential, simply catch and release. There are other fish in the sea. Of course the sooner you find those other fish, the sooner you will find additional joy.

The tough part comes when you find someone you enjoy hanging around with but they are not good for your future. Do you have the strength and discipline to cut them loose?

Become clear on what you want in a person you spend time with. Like a holiday, job, spouse, business partner or doctor, you’re going to spend important time there/together. You might as well set some specific and high criteria.