Observe Archives - Page 69 of 69

Is Fire Good Or Bad?

Posted on February 13, 2020

If your house burned down when you were young, your perception of fire could be skewed to the bad side. If having a fire kept you warm in your home every winter, and you lived in Canada, you might think fire is good or even great.

This is based on a sample size of one example for each. Not a strong case, as we’ve explored in a previous post.

If we learned that the house fire allowed the family to build a beautiful new home, their view of fire could be tempered somewhat. If the latter person, who was building the warming fires in winter, burnt their hands frequently in the process, they may be a little less positive about the subject.

Fire isn’t inherently good or bad. It can be good for some people, some of the time, and not so good for others at other times. Labelling it good or bad based on one moment in time, or on one example, doesn’t take into account all of what it has done.

Perceptions are made. Perceptions can change. Perceptions are frequently based on a sample size of one. This can ignore all the good, or the bad, that has come before.

Remember to challenge your perceptions today. When you are on automatic mode, stop and think if what you are thinking or saying is always true. You will find more harmony in your life as you add this into your days ahead.

Financial Observe Reframe your thoughts

Money Mindset

Posted on February 12, 2020

It is fascinating to observe how differently people engage with the topic of money. As with most things, it is a learned behaviour, usually from parents, extended family, family friends and primary school.

As with other habits and patterns of thinking, a person, with a little curiosity, an open mind and a growth mindset, can change their views and relationship with money to improve all things money related in their life.

They will, of course, have to do their own pushups on this one. Though there are loads of useful resources to help with a money mindset transformation. T Harv Eker and Jen Sincero have good and enjoyable books on the topic to get people started.

My challenge to you today is to think about your money mantras for a few minutes. Figure out your earliest memory of those mantras, as well as who said them or reinforced them, and then consider how they might just be impacting your life. Hint: It may not be in a good way.

Here are a few common phrases to get you started:

Money is bad (it is not good or bad, it’s just a thing),
Money is the root of all evil (Is it? Or is it just a medium of exchange? Is your paycheck evil? Besides, the phrase is often misquoted from 1Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. – Here it seems to be referring to greed or avarice – one of the seven deadly sins – whereby greed is an intense and selfish desire.
We can’t afford it (Try asking, ‘How could we afford it, or something similar?’ – It’s much more empowering)
Rich people are jerks (or crooks). (Now some may be, and some won’t be. There’s no point being richist. Is your commentary based on a sample size of one? Are you just parroting what the journalist/paper wants you to think?

Action Health & Fitness Observe

Smiling

Posted on February 10, 2020

Such an easy way to make your day better.

Smiling is great. Especially if you can add a lovely thought to it and it turns into one of those full face, fun smiles. It really lifts the spirits and has such an energising power.

Smiling is a good habit and a skill. Like any habit and skill, you can improve on it with practice. In time, you could conjure up a smile instantaneously. You will also be able to hold it longer than you can now. You should also be able to really feel it and enjoy it. That’s when you can use it to completely change your day. It’s a super power!

Like many super powers, it has the ability to help others. When you smile joyously at another person, you tend to bring them along with you. You can alter the course of someone’s life by simply smiling at them. You can magically bring them hope and joy with just a few captivating seconds.

Smiling is also free to practice and use and has a positive impact on the smiler and smilee. So we should all practice our own little super power daily; for ourselves and for others.

We all have this super power within us, and for some, it is dormant. Wake it up! Shake it up and get using it more!

7.7 billion people smiling throughout the day. The thought of that brings a big, grinny smile to my face.

Go on. Smile! And then share it with someone.

Observe Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Aware

Posted on February 9, 2020

I like to think of people as being aware or not aware of something.

When a person is born, they are not aware of much. They then start becoming aware of things such as their senses and information. Given the amount of general and detailed information available to become aware of on earth, people are often unaware of most things (relative to all things).

Becoming aware can be a factor of age, situation, geography or interest, amongst other routes. For example, most people won’t become aware of the idea of 8 x 8 until they are about 7 years old. The majority of people won’t be aware of the daily routine of a type 1 diabetic, unless they become one, or are very close to someone who has. Additionally, if you grew up in England, especially as a fan of football, you would probably be aware of the significance of 1966. If you grew up in Canada, and followed baseball, probably much less so.

Generally speaking you can become aware of anything, either intentionally or not. But with so many millions of pieces of information available to be aware of, and millions more created every day, we should go a little easy on people who are not aware of the things that we are. Just because a person doesn’t know something about a topic dear to you, doesn’t make them wholly uneducated or ignorant. They are simply unaware of that particular thing.

For today, try not to judge people based on what they are aware of, but rather, kindly and pleasantly, make them aware of the information you feel is important and assess their response to it.

Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Judging Me Too

Posted on February 6, 2020

A build on yesterday’s post about judging. The opening line was, “It’s something most people do to others”. I should have added, “and ourselves too.” because we know we are frequently our own harshest critic. We take the worst comments people have said about us and absorb those as reality rather than dismissing them as the outliers that they really are.

Use the bell curve, for all comments, to asses where on that spectrum you might realistically be and hold that as your minimum truth. Your mother might think you are amazing so that is an outlier at the one end of the spectrum and your worst critic might say the harshest things, creating an outlier at the other end of the spectrum. Then most of the other people are generally in the middle. Use their commentary on you: Not the worst critic.

Criticising is similar to assessing, though they tend to be the negative and positive word for the action. Then you judge and lock in a conclusion. So be super careful which area on the spectrum you lock in your own judgement. This is not a time to be self-deprecating or shy or to play down anything. This is you, talking to you, and about to pass judgement on yourself. You’ve heard from the various witnesses and you’ve weighed up their comments, within the context they were given, and now it is your turn to assess whether you lock away your potential for a lifetime sentence or if you can see the greatness in you, beyond a reasonable doubt.

If your past has not been well constructed, in the context of all people that have ever lived (not just the saints), then you can start again with a restart. If it has been fairly normal with a mix of good and less than great, you can make things better from this moment. But give yourself a break today. Judge the Whole You, over your lifetime, and not just a few silly mistakes.

You deserve the best mind coach in the world. Start with the one inside you already.

Observe Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Stories We Tell Ourselves

Posted on February 4, 2020

Stories are often easier to remember than just the facts on their own. Additionally, stories tend to have more depth and nuance than facts, so they tend to invoke specific feelings. Stories can also be embellished, intentionally or unknowingly. With stories, we can highlight different elements depending on our mood, our audience or our intent.

A simple example of this is how you describe the big party you attended Saturday night. It is usually a little differently highlighted when retelling it to your friends rather then your boss or mother-in-law.

Stories are also personal. Those that strike a chord with us are more easily remembered. Given that decisions are based on emotions first, and personal stories are in our lives because they invoke an emotion, we probably allow stories too much influence over many of our own decisions in life.

“I would do that, but I am not smart enough.” “I have always struggled with my weight.” “My mother always said I was like that.” “I won’t go for that promotion because my teacher said I wasn’t very good at public speaking.” “I’m too old.”

These are all examples of the type of stories that hold people back from achieving their personal potential.

However, as with a tv (or website), we can change the channel and thereby the story that it is playing. Although we can choose to stay on this channel, while we believe and live out the current stories we tell ourselves, we can also choose to change the channel and change the stories we tell ourselves. You always have a choice.

Listen closely to those unhelpful stories that swirl in your head and are too readily voiced.

Then, create new, more empowering, and exciting stories for your life. And repeat.

Go on. Change the channel.

Observe Think About It

Sample Size Of One

Posted on January 29, 2020

There is incredible power in one data point.

One data point can shift people’s views, swing elections, give great hope, inspire, raise spirits, destroy ambition and generally mess with your mind.

I am sure many of us will have come across the sample size of one in every day use. “My friend said she knows him and that he’s a bit of a psycho. She wouldn’t date him.” This one data point could steer you clear of your soulmate. Or maybe you’ve heard something like, “My brother went and he said it was fantastic. You’ve got to go!”. Or perhaps even, “The man said he knew someone that tried that once and it didn’t turn out very well”.

In these scenarios, a person has referenced only one opinion and yet it can create quite an impression. This is exacerbated when the sample size of one is an extreme example, either good or bad.

Very often the sample size of one is based on unsubstantiated claims, with no context and you are unable to assess the source’s bias. However, despite these limitations we can see people frequently use just one data point to their advantage.

It’s fascinating to watch yourself, or others, get convinced in a conversation or while consuming media. Listen to people use it to strengthen their argument. Many of us will have done this frequently over the years.

Seven billion-ish people on the planet and we can use one data point to sway a position. It may not be right or wrong, but it is fascinating. And powerful.