CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughts

Seeing Things Without Vision

People tend to have an interpretation of things and they usually have an opinion on them too. I do. Seeing things without vision, because of myopia, is unfortunate and so easily improved with a little practice.

Some people aren’t able to see differently, and others choose not to. I enjoy discussing subjects with anyone who can offer an interesting angle and has put some thought behind it. I may challenge the points, and even disagree in the end, but it is worth the discussion to expand my realm of thinking.

Recently, I’ve been quoting a saying about hammers and nails around the house more frequently. It summarises my thought on why it is easy for people to be seeing things without vision. It is also difficult, without practice, to see from a different perspective to the one that popped into your mind first.

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.

Abraham Maslow

I love a curious mind. One that is willing to challenge their own thoughts and programming. I challenge my own thoughts frequently and try to learn why, when and because of whom, that I think certain thoughts. It can be difficult to stop, think and enquire, but it is a great exercise to get to know yourself better.

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CategoriesObserveThink About It

What Is Getting You Through?

There is a lot to read, listen to, watch, absorb and process, if you want to. What is getting you through? You can shut it all off with a click of a button, if you like. Sometimes, if only for a 15 minute window, ignorance really is bliss.

People respond to situations differently. Some like to learn everything they can about it. Other people prefer to have it spoon fed to them. Some will take the information as undisputed fact. Some people will want to argue and discuss and try to shape it or understand it.

Do you prefer to get all caught up in every detail, like a daytime soap? Or are you happy to simply get the headlines and you’ll be happy if the world isn’t imploding?

What is getting you through?

Some people enjoy a spot of exercise, like running or yoga. Others prefer to meditate, scribe or sing. There is quite a wide range of things to do, or not do, to help you continue on with your work, family activities, commitments, knowledge and chill or reflect time.

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CategoriesObserveThink About It

Beware, You’re Being Influenced

I think most people like to think that they think their own thoughts. But beware, you’re being influenced. Your thoughts are not always your own.

Thinking can be hard and confronting. Understanding a point of view and dissecting it without emotional baggage, bias, or stereotype can be a challenge.

I’m from the school of thought that people make emotional, instinctive decisions immediately and then search for data to confirm their point of view. It probably stems from millennia of survival instinct conditioning. Beware of anything that is different, as it could harm or kill you. Assess it and look for data that may or may not be right or wrong or even useful.

However, often you will look to find data that confirms your emotional decision. That emotional decision will be based on your prior experience, especially from when you were quite young. So this feedback loop becomes quite self-reinforcing if you are not careful.

Oftentimes people start only following one newspaper, or a collective of sources that all view things a similar way. This seems normal because it can be quite comforting to read things that are in line with our view. Though it is not a great substitute for thinking.

Sometimes content producers try to lead you down a road that isn’t helpful in general, but does suit their personal bias.

Think about this. Really play with it in your head. Are you actually critically thinking things through with your own thoughts, or are you letting someone tell you what they want you to think?

I enjoy a thought provoking exchange. Especially if it is in pursuit of really understanding something or solving a particular problem. It is important to check your intent before you engage in discussion. Are you arguing to win, convince or prove your point or are you engaging to improve your depth of consideration and thought?

Don’t let me influence you though. Think for yourself. Challenge your thoughts, biases, misconceptions and understanding. Consider this when consuming your normal news channel, newspaper, online news, social media, etc. Have you become, comfortably numb?

Beware, you’re being influenced.

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CategoriesActionObserveReframe your thoughts

Decipher The Headline

‘Rock Star Dies in Tragic Accident’ was the headline I saw 20 years ago while I was walking past Richer Sounds and heading to London Bridge Tube Station. I tried to decipher the headline.

I knew instantly that this death was not of someone I had ever heard of. Had they been sufficiently famous, the newspaper would have put their name in the headline. Jagger Found… or Elton Tragedy… or something like that.

I tried to guess who it could be. I didn’t want to buy the paper to find out. I new I would find out eventually from the tv or a friend if it was sufficiently big news. When I did find out, I don’t recall ever hearing of them.

It was a pivotal moment because it made me really focus on how I assessed what people said and what the media led with as their headline. Since that time, I have always enjoyed playing my own little game of decipher the headline. I enjoy trying to decide whether something is going to be truly important or a waste of time, based on the headline.

You can save a lot of time as you develop the skill of quickly deciphering what the underlying message or motive is to any communication. Sometimes I nail it and sometimes I don’t. But I always enjoy playing the game. If you enjoy mysteries, psychology or solving puzzles, you may like to give it a try.

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CategoriesActionGoals, Results & New ThinkingObserveThink About ItTime

Your Bucket List

For some, this is a great time to take stock and think through what they truly want to do in this life. For others, it may have become so crazy busy that they don’t have a moment to pause and think about anything other than the next government announcement and its implications.

Without all the usual kids activities and appointments to arrange and get to, some people may have a few extra minutes (hours) in their day. Or maybe you no longer need to “get ready and commute”, so you may have a little more time now.

For those of you with a little extra time, this is a great opportunity to consider what kind of life you want to look back on when you are 85 years old. What do you want to remember when you are going through your photo albums or chatting to friends or younger relatives. Life flies by quickly, so don’t delay.

Block out an hour in your calendar on a day this week. Be specific with exactly what hour and day it is. It is an appointment with yourself. Then, when that time comes, do nothing else other than reflect and write out a list of things you would love to do, be or have in your life, between now and 85 (125 if you’re already well up there).

Just write all the things that come to mind. Ideally you will do an electronic list which you can save and sort out later on. But it could also be written on a sheet of paper or in a journal. You can always take a photo of it and file it on a device for easy finding later on.

The list does not have to be realistic, believable, conventional, exciting or anything really. What it should be though is a specific list of things on your mind and in your imagination. It could be things like: Spending two weeks on a golden sand beach in the Caribbean, helping your grandson learn French, walking on Mars, writing a funny novel, buying some art from a local artist, becoming a pilot, writing a letter to a loved one, collecting rare stamps or watching The Bucket List (enjoyable movie to get your thoughts flowing – good for most kids too).

This list-writing can be a challenge. Some find this exercise easy and some difficult. Either way, I suggest you do it. Now is a good time. It will give you a focus on things you are looking forward to, once we get life back to something approaching normal. It also helps you clarify what is important. Have fun with it.

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CategoriesActionObserveProgressReframe your thoughts

People Need Encouragement

When you are having tough times, trying something new, stating an opinion or just trying to get through your day, it is always nice to have a few words of encouragement from others. People need encouragement.

It is so easy for people to criticise, condemn, chastise, laugh at and bully. It requires no interest, curiosity or understanding of the other person.

For the most part, people are trying to do their best with what they know. Give them that benefit of the doubt. Assume their intentions are good unless and until you have conclusive proof that they aren’t.

Reflect on whether you are offering enough encouragement to people. It takes so little encouragement to light a fire under someone, to build them up. Ask questions. Seek first to understand. Assume their intent is good, even if their route to get their desired outcome isn’t the one you would necessarily choose.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood

Stephen R. Covey

Remember, how many Presidents, Prime Ministers, Chief Medical Officers, Doctors etc said nothing in the 1800’s and early 1900’s about smoking. Finally someone took the initiative to speak up about the health issues of a very popular pastime. Going against the accepted wisdom is more easily done with some encouragement.

For those of you with kids or young relatives at primary school age, think about how you might talk down about people you disagree with, whether it is journalists, politicians or business people. Then think how you would feel if your children or young relatives treated other children like that. If it’s bullying when young people do it, it must be called bullying when adults do it. Is there ever really a good justification for it?

Imagine what we could do on this planet if everyone stopped criticising and bullying others, and were more curious and gave words of encouragement. Try catching yourself for the next 24 hours. If you’re honest, it is quite revealing.

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CategoriesObserveProgressReframe your thoughts

The Challenges Ahead

We have all faced significant headwinds in our lives and leaning into the challenges ahead will be similar. There will be days where you will be feeling overwhelmed and maybe beaten, but you will press on and get through this.

I am always amazed at people’s tenacity and inner strength when they decide to get through something. The absolute power that we possess inside is quite incredible. By taking each day and each hour as it comes we can get through just about anything.

There are 1,440 minutes in a day and there are 84 days in 12 weeks. So we have 120,960 minutes to enjoy or persevere through at this unique time in the UK. When it is all going well, it will go by quick. Though there will be times when you will feel like the clock has stopped. Either way, stay focused on the bright side of everything.

Enjoy every minute of this unique period in time. Amazing things will happen in your relationships and your life in general, if you stay focused and approach everything, and everyone, with the best intent.

If the challenges get too much, put yourself in a 5 minute time out. Do some slow, deep breathing and relax your mind and thoughts. Remember that in the moment, everything is super important and feels like it really matters. However, the events of that moment are unlikely to be remembered 200 years from now.

If I get too caught up in the moment, I mentally picture myself shooting up into space, all while looking down as the ground disappears below me. As I am rising up, the streets get smaller and I see other cities. As I go higher, the details blur into cities, farmland, forest and large bodies of water. Soon I’m floating in space and looking down at this little blue ball, balanced perfectly in an orbit in space, which has seen wars, peace, contagion and warmth.

In that moment, I remember how significantly insignificant what is happening probably is in the very grand scheme of things. So I breathe and smile as I return back down to earth. Refreshed with perspective, I am once again prepared for the challenges ahead. Try this a few times and let me know if it works for you.

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CategoriesActionGratitudeObserveReframe your thoughts

The Bright Side

There is always a bright side.

Sometimes we don’t see it and sometimes we don’t want to see it. If we are still reeling from an event or situation, we may not feel like looking on the bright side.

Whether you see it, don’t want to see it or don’t feel like embracing it, it is still there. Once you step over the little chasm in your mind, and sometimes begrudgingly admit it, it does feel pretty good. So why not get to that spot and start smiling as soon as you can.

From today, soon or recently for others, many of us will be experiencing the new normal. We may enjoy the idea of bits of it and loathe the thought of other bits. Either way, this is our global new normal. So we may as well look on the bright side.

Here are a few things I’ve observed:

It feels so calm. The streets are quiet with very few cars or pedestrians. We just need to be at home – nowhere else. No detailed and challenging calendars to check or update. Time with my son – we went for a run today along the quiet river path and enjoyed a great chat and sprint to the finish: he’s fast. We celebrated a big birthday of a friend on a Zoom conference call involving 3 countries. We cheered on two others having birthdays on Saturday and Sunday too.

People have been friendly, helpful, supportive, calm, pretty optimistic and resolute. Air and general pollution seems to be dropping rapidly and should continue to do so during the new normal period. This is fantastic in general but even more so for all the people that wanted more immediate and severe action on climate change – now it is happening. Schooling is going 100% online – how fascinating it will be to see how it works.

The world has changed. It seems like it happened overnight. There will be challenges ahead.

Remember to look on the bright side of everything. Make it part of your new normal.

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CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughtsThink About It

Context Is Critical. As Are Facts.

We are facing unprecedented times. But they are not nearly as scary as media (both classical and social), and your mind, are making this out to be.

In the UK, there were 616,014 deaths in 2018. That is nearly 1,700 deaths PER DAY. Coronavirus deaths in the UK since it started, about 30 days ago, now total 104. (in context, over the same 30 days, approximately 51,000 people have died in the UK).

Now lets play out some simple, specific numbers. We will assume the absolute largest number of infections possible in the UK, which would be 100% of the total population or 67,785,240. Then, let’s take the current mortality and expected survival rate, globally, based on confirmed cases of 218,723 and confirmed deaths of 8,943 so far. Using these figures we get a 4.1% mortality rate and 95.9% projected survival rate.

If we remove Italy from these numbers, but leave in the other 172 countries and territories, with at least one confirmed case, the rates change to 3.3% mortality rate and 96.7% survival rate. Finally, if we use Germany, as a best case, which has the 5th highest number of confirmed cases at 12,327 and deaths at 28, it would give them a mortality rate of 0.2% and therefore a survival rate of 99.8%. This is only 0.1% higher than the seasonal flu. Context is critical.

So perhaps at best, we could direct the 70+ population, along with those with underlying conditions of all ages, to self-isolate, and request that the rest of the country get this virus. This could lead to between 153,969 and 2,236,912 deaths. However, experts believe only 50%-80% of people will actually get infected, which could bring these numbers down by almost half. In addition, by removing the vulnerable population from the equation, we are more likely to trend closer to the 153,969 or a UK survival figure of 67,631,271.

Context is critical. The world governments have pumped trillions of dollars into the economy, in the last week, to no positive effect. Few people are consuming, other than the basics, due to fear or government imposed restrictions on movement. And we have only just begun, as we have just passed 200,000 confirmed cases with millions more expected. With markets collapsing, millions predicted to be unemployed and/or the governments straining to pay for everything and everyone to keep going, might there now be a better way?

Perhaps the healthy 6-60 year olds could offer to get this mild (for healthy people) flu-like virus, while the higher risk groups self-isolate (as mentioned above). Experts seem to think 50%-80% of the population will be infected at some point. If this is inevitable, why not sign up now to get it and save the economy and livelihoods and still save a lot of people. If you want to read a very brief draft outline of one way we could do this, click here.

Yes, there may not be enough hospital beds. But people tend to die in the field of battle during a war. And this is looking a lot like a war.

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CategoriesObserveProgressThink About It

Stop Generalising And Get Specific

You may be frequently frustrated if you often use generalisations and the sample size of one. Using words like “they”, “the government”, “everybody” and “no one” can feel good at the time, and can help you speak more quickly, but to your detriment.

In the long run, it is to your advantage to be more precise in the words you speak.

Being more precise in your word selection and word order will make you sound like a more polished individual. You will be clearer and others will understand you better.

A particular time in life, when being specific is more beneficial, is when you are setting your goals. ‘They said I could join them to climb a mountain‘ is good but not nearly as useful as “My climbing instructor, Dave, said I could join their expedition to climb to the base camp of Everest on the 15th April 2020”.

Just for this morning, try to catch yourself each time you make sweeping generalisations. Then for each one, try to replace it with a more specific word or phrase.

(Expert level: Note also the generalisations that come out of the mouth of others and see what impact that has on you and their comments). Enjoy!

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