Observe Archives - Page 76 of 79

I Am Trying To Understand You

Posted on June 1, 2020

Do you listen to understand or do you just want to tell people what you think? I am trying to understand you. However, it takes patience and sometimes the ability to hold two different, and maybe even uncomfortable, thoughts in my mind at the same time.

If I am listening to you, I will need you to be clear about what you’re trying to say. There are so many word and sentence combinations. Could your words be interpreted in any other way?

Word selection, sentence structure and communication are all skills worth enhancing. These skills can be learned, practiced, improved upon and developed to an exceptional standard.

To improve, it requires the communicator to pause and reflect on what they wish to say. They then should select the best words, in the best order, to convey the desired message.

In addition, communication can work even better if the speaker/writer first thinks about what they wish to be said. If there are a number of ideas understood, often the best response is a clarifying question. With this in mind, I have, at times, responded to a question that wasn’t actually asked.

Become more aware of what is being communicated. Listen with intent to understand. Practice thinking and reflecting more. Before responding, get precise in your mind.

Most people want the same things. However, miscommunication, poorly worded questions and reactive responses can make everything seem far more difficult.

I want to make comments that progress a conversation or situation. Merely prolonging it is not usually an optimal, or enjoyable, use of time.

In order for the world to work better, I am trying to understand you. Do you understand what I mean?

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Who Is Your Oracle, Guide Or Core Five?

Posted on May 20, 2020

Do you know who the greatest influencers are in your life? Who is your oracle, guide or core five and what impact are they having on your life?

Of course, when you are very young, the answer is whoever raised you. You don’t have a lot of say in the matter. This is predetermined for you and can evolve depending on the social structure surrounding you.

However, when you are a teen, you can influence the decision of who you would like to follow or listen to. Certainly, once you are in your 20’s you get to make all the choices, at least for most people.

So if you are reading this post, you are probably of an age that you can decide who to follow. It is worth taking the time to write down who you listen to, watch and read on a daily basis. Note which newspaper you read and the specific journalists too. Which people do you gravitate to at work, at home and on your commute (current or old one).

Make a note next to the sources about how they make you feel. For example, some sources of information may make you cross, inspired, determined or calm. Get clear on what you get from following them. And what you are not getting. Would you like more or better?

If you want to see into your future, be clear on who is your oracle, guide or core five. At that point, you will be better able to decide if these are your desired tribes and if this is a track you want to continue on.

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People Tend To Generalise Based On Their Tribe

Posted on May 18, 2020

Humans love grouping and using shortcut language to simplify communication. In addition, people tend to generalise based on their tribe.

If you pay attention to conversations, you can hear this occurring. For example, when I am with friends with university degrees, I often hear them refer to ‘everyone’. This is usually in reference to everyone having a degree. I often find myself reminding them that less than half of the population, in any country, have a university degree.

The challenge is, if most people you know have a university degree, you extrapolate and assume everyone has one. This is a common occurrence and highlights the old phrase that ‘birds of a feather, flock together’.

You’ll often find that teachers know disproportionately more teachers. Same thing with electricians, rugby players, actors and politicians.

It is a natural occurrence for many reasons. However, because people tend to generalise based on their tribe, we should all be a little more aware of this before we communicate.

It is quite a skill to communicate across tribes. Tribes have different norms, culture and reference points. This is clear when noting which media people tune into. Of course, this is also why people clash over certain topics and always have.

Tribes will always be at odds with each other. Unless people (you, me) stop, think and explore to understand the other, it will continue on this way. Notice the tribes you are in and see if you can make bridges with other ones.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Be The Person With Uncommon Sense

Posted on May 13, 2020

It’s easy to criticise. As nothing is perfect, there is always at least one fault. So be the person with uncommon sense, that can understand the general point.

Trying to find the cracks in a statement and exploiting them to cause ill will, is not good for your soul or mindset.

It is far better to be the person that can accept some ambiguity, shrug at some irony, take some decisions and get on with it. To act like a responsible, understanding and humble adult is attractive.

The grey line is probably in comedy. Though this can usually be resolved by considering if you are laughing with the person or at the person.

If you’re not sure and you need a second opinion, check if your intent is to make someone else look bad, silly, or incapable. If that is your true, underlying intent, then please stop. It says a lot more about you, how you see the world and what kind of person you are, than it does about them.

Be the person with uncommon sense. While you are at it, go for uncommon courtesy, empathy and thoughtfulness. Be the rare gem of a person who models great characteristics. We will never be perfect, but excellence is a great standard to aim for.

And for all of us still trying to do better and be better, if we slip up, be the person with uncommon sense and take it easy on the criticism. There is an old saying in there that reminds me of Billy Joel’s album ’Glass Houses’.

Action Health & Fitness Observe Weight loss

Track Your Progress And Review It

Posted on May 11, 2020

Having a goal and moving toward it is great. Even more so when you are making progress. Similarly, it is quite important to track your progress and review it.

When things are going well it makes you feel good seeing the progress. More importantly, perhaps, is seeing where and when you are not making progress. If you are looking to understand why you aren’t getting the results you wanted, this daily tracking and review can be quite instructive.

Several years ago I wanted to tone up and that meant dropping about 20 pounds. I had never paid attention to my weight prior to that as I had always been quite active and had a reasonably healthy diet.

It was a fascinating game of figuring out what worked and what didn’t. I was in a hurry as I didn’t want to spend 6 months, or more, on this project.

I had my views on what worked and didn’t. At the start, I read some books to get a broader perspective and see what else I could learn. After all, slimming is 99% in the head.

I simply had to move more and eat less. Keeping yourself in a calorie deficit can be a challenge. Like so many things though, once you get into it, it seems easier than you had expected. Gamifying the whole process also helped to work wonders.

When you track your progress and review it, you get into the detail. You understand the nuance and how to get the winning edge. This tracking and review doesn’t make it easier, but you can understand how to get the results quicker. I really enjoyed that part of the whole process.

You can, and should, do this with all of your goals, not just weight-related. Tracking takes a little bit more effort, but the payoff is excellent. Good luck!!

Observe

Use Winter To Prepare For Spring

Posted on May 10, 2020

As someone who grew up on a farm, this was an important point to be aware of. If you use winter to prepare for spring, you will have used your time well and you’ll begin the growing season well prepared.

In winter, in the Ottawa area at least, there is a lot of snow. In addition to that, the temperature spends a lot of time in the negative double digits. It is like this for about 5 months. So there is not a lot to do in the fields.

This is a great opportunity to get machinery fixed, get things ordered, focus on the herd health and coordinate plans for the upcoming seasons.

Think of this unusual period we’re experiencing as our winter. Yes, some of us in the Northern Hemisphere just had winter. Therefore, you could see it as an extension. For those in the Southern Hemisphere and heading into winter, think of it as pre prep time.

Either way, if you can use this time to better prepare for the spring that is coming, you will be better off for the whole thing.

Use winter to prepare for spring. It gets your head into longer term planning mode and things become a little more clear.

Use this unique opportunity to get things in order and aligned. Then you can be the most efficient and prepared when the season changes.

If you plan well and use your time wisely, you will be quite successful with whatever you are working on this year.

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It Still Feels Surreal

Posted on April 29, 2020

For most of my day, I think everything seems quite normal. However, when I stop and actually think about what is happening, it still feels surreal.

As a person who does a lot of work from home, the days seems quite similar. Though, there is the added element of the children being at home. This difference adds some fun and some occasional challenges.

We’ve been ordering groceries online, and having them delivered, for over 10 years, so that hasn’t changed. We’ve been getting out for exercise as frequently too. However, maybe there has been less activity for the kids. They’ve been going without PE classes, weekend and before/after school sports. Less activity has generally meant less eating but fitness levels are bound to suffer a little.

There was a lot of adjusting, admin, following new procedures, and home schooling prep at the beginning. Now that seems to have settled down. But there will be new changes and challenges to keep us busy as we begin to emerge from Lockdown.

It’s still to be seen whether this will be a quick return to nearly normal with a v-shaped recovery or something more prolonged. Could it become one of those moments in history that was significant (36 months), but not frequently discussed, like the 1918 flu pandemic? I hope future generations will not have cause to reflect on this period the way we look back on WWI, WWII and the Great Depression.

Regardless of how long it takes to put Humpty back together again, it still feels surreal in the moment sometimes.

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Consider Six Chairs

Posted on April 24, 2020

To understand different perspectives, I consider six chairs and the views of the people in them. Although, there are countless different perspectives along any spectrum, I like to focus on up to six different ones to keep things manageable.

In addition to what I noted in yesterday’s post, I like to consider all the different views available along a spectrum. First, I assess both ends of the spectrum. Secondly, I add up to four other positions along the spectrum to consider other potential views.

To visualise this, I have added a spectrum below and placed an asterisk at both ends and four others in between. This gives me six chairs (asterisks) and six avatars, or points of view, to consider.

*——-*——-*——-*——-*——-*

A sample topic could be, “How often should children eat ice cream?”.

As you can imagine, there are many different views with even more reasons available to support each view. To make it easier to hold the various thoughts in my mind, and debate between them, I consider six chairs.

From one extreme to the other, the six views I would consider are as follows:

Children should never have ice cream as there are no health benefits to it at all,
Children could have ice cream three or four times per year as an exceptional treat on warm days to help keep them cool and happy,
Having ice cream once a month is fine and part of a healthy childhood experience,
Ice cream on a weekly basis is fun and enjoyable,
Eating a variety of ice creams after meals, like lunch and dinner, is a normal part of growing up, and
Ice cream is in the freezer for kids to have at any time. It can be a dessert, pudding, snack or even breakfast.

Now try your favourite topic.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Seeing Things Without Vision

Posted on April 16, 2020

People tend to have an interpretation of things and they usually have an opinion on them too. I do. Seeing things without vision, because of myopia, is unfortunate and so easily improved with a little practice.

Some people aren’t able to see differently, and others choose not to. I enjoy discussing subjects with anyone who can offer an interesting angle and has put some thought behind it. I may challenge the points, and even disagree in the end, but it is worth the discussion to expand my realm of thinking.

Recently, I’ve been quoting a saying about hammers and nails around the house more frequently. It summarises my thought on why it is easy for people to be seeing things without vision. It is also difficult, without practice, to see from a different perspective to the one that popped into your mind first.

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.
Abraham Maslow

I love a curious mind. One that is willing to challenge their own thoughts and programming. I challenge my own thoughts frequently and try to learn why, when and because of whom, that I think certain thoughts. It can be difficult to stop, think and enquire, but it is a great exercise to get to know yourself better.

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What Is Getting You Through?

Posted on April 11, 2020

There is a lot to read, listen to, watch, absorb and process, if you want to. What is getting you through? You can shut it all off with a click of a button, if you like. Sometimes, if only for a 15 minute window, ignorance really is bliss.

People respond to situations differently. Some like to learn everything they can about it. Other people prefer to have it spoon fed to them. Some will take the information as undisputed fact. Some people will want to argue and discuss and try to shape it or understand it.

Do you prefer to get all caught up in every detail, like a daytime soap? Or are you happy to simply get the headlines and you’ll be happy if the world isn’t imploding?

What is getting you through?

Some people enjoy a spot of exercise, like running or yoga. Others prefer to meditate, scribe or sing. There is quite a wide range of things to do, or not do, to help you continue on with your work, family activities, commitments, knowledge and chill or reflect time.