Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 103 of 110

You Can Convince Yourself Of Anything

Posted on July 12, 2020

Some people believe in God and others do not. The placebo effect is well known and so is self-healing. You can convince yourself of anything. So what have you convinced yourself about?

Science v Faith: Do you have a science or faith based orientation?

Fact v Opinion: Do you base your decisions on the ‘facts’ of the past. Or do you let yourself have an opinion or vision of the future?

Logic v Emotion: Are you led by logic or driven by emotion?

You may even find that these answers depend on the circumstances or you have adjusted them somewhat over the years.

And what sort of jail have you created for yourself by your thoughts, beliefs and convictions? What walls have you erected around you? How high is the ceiling you have created that keeps you from soaring?

It is time to reconsider your thoughts and beliefs. Many people do not do this or they wait until it‘s too late. It may feel uncomfortable but it will get easier as you sit calmly reflecting on these sometimes brutal facts of reality.

Many people hold the same views as when they were six years old. Is it time for a refresh?

You can convince yourself of anything. So decide, commit and keep the faith.

Health & Fitness Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts Time

Expectations v Reality Gap

Posted on July 8, 2020

It is wonderful to have great expectations. Having them also brings you hope for a better future. However, the expectations v reality gap (ER Gap), must be monitored closely as it can destroy your mind.

Our own expectations for our life, and the world around us, is often being recalibrated. This is usually in an upward trajectory. For example, it feels good to believe that I will make more money, have a better relationship, progress in my career and be healthier. The opposite is not very encouraging or motivating.

It is useful to have expectations surpassing our current reality. Doing this gives you hope and an objective to strive toward. This will help to motivate you to take action toward fulfilling those expectations.

However, there are two cautions to be noted.

Firstly, be careful not to let your expectations get too far ahead of your reality. It is easier to get disheartened if you are chasing the big dream and not seeming to make any progress. Remember to divide up your goal and expectations into steps or levels. As your reality reaches the next level you will gain momentum. Then you can recalibrate to focus on the next step in the process.

The second caution is to recalibrate your expectations downward when your reality is negatively impacted. So if your career, school grades, finances, health or athletic goals suffer a setback, recalibrate your expectations. You can do this by adding in a few more steps to your timeline. You can also extend your timeline out a little.

These two cautions are very important for your mental health. If the expectations v reality gap gets too wide, you will torment yourself and cause undue stress in your life.

Mind the Gap and stay out of the ER (A&E).

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Am I Misinterpreting You Correctly?

Posted on July 6, 2020

Have you ever said something and the other person asks, “Are you saying I’m (fat, ugly, stupid, etc)?”? “Am I misinterpreting you correctly?” is what they should be asking.

Rarely have I heard someone respond with a positive expectation, such as, “Are you saying I look fit and fabulous?”.

Why is it that, when we try to decipher an underlying meaning to a statement, we overwhelmingly err on the negative side? Why are we looking for some unspoken meaning in the first place? Take the compliment, or comment, and thank the other person with a smile.

Even if it is not said with perfect words, and in the order you would want to hear it, the other person is trying. If you want them to keep trying, practice and improve, then encourage them. Try not to shut them down quickly and resist their actual intention with a cynical mindset.

Now sometimes the intention of the person is not good. There are times the person saying the words have the intent to harm. Though occasionally it can be difficult to tell. Especially if you are looking for the negative, or you tend to the cynical side and believe most people have poor intentions.

Either way, this is unfortunate, unnecessary and unacceptable. It is usually the result of a childhood that lacked good role models and an adult life with little curiosity to improve. A quick, confident and genuine, “Thank you for taking an interest”, should throw them off and end the exchange.

The next time someone says something you might not like, before responding, ask yourself, “Am I misinterpreting you correctly?”.

Reframe your thoughts Time

Watch The Moon Rise

Posted on July 5, 2020

The sky is quite amazing. A ceiling during the day and a vast glittery, endless black adventure at night. Watch the moon rise, as we did, as it’s a true wonder.

There are a few natural spectacles that are accessible to everyone. If you love a bit of natural magic, watch a sunrise, sunset and moonrise at least once annually. Do it more frequently if you can.

Watching these events can be quite awe-inspiring. It can remind us how incredible space is.

I find it even more amazing to think that we are spinning at 1,000 miles per hour. This is almost twice as fast as you’ve ever flown in a commercial airliner on your way to a holiday.

So the amazing part may not be the perception of the moon rising. Maybe it is the speed at which we can see it better as we spin around into a better position.

Either way, learn more about the event and celestial bodies and you will become even more amazed.

If you can get a chance to watch the moon rise, definitely take it. It is fun, exciting and fascinating. It is also free to do and requires pretty minimal effort.

Enjoy the night sky!

Reframe your thoughts Time

Interesting But Not Compelling

Posted on July 4, 2020

Do you remember booking that event 6 months ago and now you don’t want to go? It was interesting but not compelling. Interesting is a distraction.

Interesting is candy floss for the mind. It’s mostly nothing but seems to tempt us every time. And yet it’s really just attention grabbing empty calories.

Stay away from interesting. It can be a time waster. Pick the one or two things that set your mind alight and stick with those with blinders on.

Sometimes I find myself reading things that are interesting but really aren’t going to do much for me. I may not learn a lesson, challenge my own thinking or learn things from others who have seen things differently.

In addition, I’ll occasionally engage in a discussion that makes me think because the topic is interesting. Maybe I shouldn’t do that because it takes me away from my compelling activities. But I think it is useful to discover how other people view the world or specific situations.

Some topics are interesting and not compelling. It is up to you how you spend your precious time. Though sometimes you need to consider what Jim Rohn used to say about, ‘not signing up to that course’.

There are an infinite number of things you can learn more about in this world. But make sure you learn efficiently, as often as you can.

Reframe your thoughts Time

It’s Got To Be Easy!

Posted on July 3, 2020

Everything ideally would be like the big red button theory espoused by Rory Sutherland in one of his insightful and funny TED talks. It’s got to be easy and simple for something to work well.

Remember the first time you ever used Google to search for something? There was nothing on the page except a letterbox to type in. It was so simple, intuitive and easy. And it got the result you wanted in milliseconds. Google also found two million other options should the usual suspects not be what you were looking for.

I opened a bank account at Starling Bank recently. Oh my, how easy was that. I didn’t have to leave my home and it was all done in 10 minutes. Then they sent me the bank card.

We often make things harder than they need to be. Keeping things simple is almost an art form. It takes more effort to make things effortless. But it is worth it.

Spend 10 minutes today trying to make your life simpler. If you are going to succeed at things, it’s got to be easy. Set up your environment to win. If you want to eat healthy, keep healthy food where you spend you’re time.

You get to make the choices, so make good ones.

Action Reframe your thoughts

From Beginner To Winner

Posted on June 29, 2020

The journey from start to finish can be a challenge, not least because it is repetitive. To move from beginner to winner can take some time and a lot of training.

It usually starts with mindset. You need to shift from, ‘I can’t do this’ or ‘I’ll be terrible’, to, ‘I can do this’. Then the process has begun. You can then have your first real try. You are ready.

Now usually when we are the beginner, we are not very good at it. Walking seems so simple now for most people reading this. But walking usually takes 6-18 months for children to learn the basics and become reasonably capable.

Times tables is another example most people can relate to. The first time you were shown the times tables, it’s unlikely you remembered any of them. But now you could probably provide rapid responses for six times six and 11 times nine.

Like anything in life, most things are achievable by a regular person. Certainly climbing from beginner to intermediate is within most people’s grasp for anything intellectual or physical. It will, however, take some time, effort and focused training. It may even require a coach, teacher or trainer.

Shifting from intermediate to advanced is another leap. This relies more heavily on mindset. This leap requires discipline, a positive mind and the ability to deal with bigger setbacks.

From advanced to professional requires an even greater level of mental fortitude. But it is achievable. Though in this modern era, with so many people prepared to compete for the rewards at the top, you will have to train hard.

Remember, the journey from beginner to winner will usually mean you will be a little shaky at the start. But you need to get through that and shift from uncomfortable to unstoppable to achieve anything.

Gratitude Health & Fitness Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

The Best Time In History To Have A Pandemic

Posted on June 27, 2020

There is probably never a good time to have one. But if there had to be one, then this is the best time in history to have a pandemic.

Right now we have the best medicine, knowledge and science. In addition, there are no major wars. The global economy has been pretty healthy and improving for a decade. We can communicate far and wide via the internet with friends and families. School’s have rapidly adapted themselves to online home schooling and some return-to-school social distancing.

Furthermore, we have fewer 70+ aged people on the planet than we will in 20 or 30 years. Given the greater challenges for this age group, with Covid-19, this is another positive for this moment in time.

We also have incredible international, interconnected awareness and collaboration. Even technology is at its best ever. Oddly, however, many countries don’t seem to have a simple or effective track and trace programme in place. Perhaps this concept needs a rebrand. The name may be a barrier to usage. People may not want to be tracked like an animal and traced like a fugitive or DHL package.

Another plus for this era is the longer life expectancy most people have.

So I know it’s not an ideal time to have this happen, because it is in the middle of our moment here. But most generations throughout history have had a far more difficult time, generally. Therefore, like it or not, this is the best time in history to have a pandemic – particularly this one.

Reframe your thoughts

How Being Wrong Can Feel So Right

Posted on June 22, 2020

There’s a funny thing about being wrong about something. It is a little strange how being wrong can feel so right. This is because, you don’t actually feel wrong until it is brought to your attention.

You are usually convinced you are right until you discover (usually through someone else) that you are wrong. Only then do you fully understand that feeling of being wrong.

On Sunday, my son needed to download something onto the laptop. The only thing I had to do was type in my password to allow it. It seemed like a simple task. Oh, how I can laugh about it now. Though, there was not a lot of laughter in the moment.

That password had an ‘&’ and an ‘=’ in it. My brain read the ‘&’ as ‘and’ like ’in addition to’ so I kept typing the ‘+’ key. I typed it slower. I said each key as I typed it. Then I tried other passwords. And then other user names, as you do. Fortunately, I somehow realised the error of my ways and got it right. Phew!

But I had been so sure that I had been typing the correct password. Then that feeling of being wrong washed over me. Then I laughed at my own misinterpretation of the symbol.

This is how being wrong can feel so right. You are convinced you are correct and feel confident about it. It’s only after you become aware that you were wrong, that you feel any different. A different take on The Emperor’s New Clothes perhaps. Fascinating.

I leave you today with a great little video on this very topic.

A very interesting way of looking at being wrong and people who disagree with you.

Reframe your thoughts Think About It Time

Immersing Yourself In Another Person’s Shoes

Posted on June 21, 2020

Sometimes I see a picture of someone and start to wonder about their whole life. Immersing yourself in another person’s shoes is a fascinating challenge.

I know the old saying suggests walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. But is that really enough? I guess it depends on your intent and what you are trying to get out of the experience.

Understanding A Position

If you are trying to understand someone’s position on a topic, it could be a little more complex than you think. Most topics, at their most general, can be distilled down to a binary option. However, as you dig deeper into the detail, there can be dozens, or even hundreds, of nuanced positions.

Just as a person can be summed up in one word, it doesn’t really give you a good understanding of them. A brief bio is more helpful. An obituary can sum up an important figure in half a page of a newspaper. But these are mere snippets from a person’s life. These do not usually fully inform you of how they got to their current way of thinking on various topics.

So this immersion perspective comes from trying to understand a person more fully. A person is constantly absorbing and assessing information which allows them to make minor shifts in perception. Perhaps we need to understand all of these moments of shift to fully appreciate where someone is coming from in their discussion.

Time To Understand

Let’s say the main influencing time in a person’s life could be distilled into one accumulated hour per week. So one hour, times 52 weeks, for a 50 year old means 2,600 hours of influential moments to review. To do so, at a rate of 40 hours per week, would take over one year!

Immersing yourself in another person’s shoes may not be practical. However, we can be kind and listen. People are where they are based on their own experience. This includes all the formal and informal education, and training, they have received in their entire life.

Berating a person for their current opinion, based on their personal journey so far, is not helpful. Understanding how they have arrived there allows you to help them consider alternative views.

Try understanding people a little more today. Listen to their view and allow them to have it. People are often more open to considering a new perspective when it is presented openly as an option rather than in a coercive way.