Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 105 of 110

Get Inspiration But Don’t Compare

Posted on May 31, 2020

Why is it that many people tend to use only the ultimate success stories to emulate? You can get inspiration from them, but don’t compare yourself.

If you use only the highest achievers like Beckham, Beyoncé, Dwayne Johnson or J.K. Rowling, you may get disappointed quickly. The bar is so high. They’ve already made it. They are one of the hundreds or possibly thousands in this world of billions.

Focus on being better than you were yesterday. Only focus on you and your progress. Remember, everyone starts out similar in life as a baby. From that point, everyone will progress differently. It is progress, a little bit at a time, not instant success, that you should focus on.

You can get inspiration but don’t compare yourself to superstars – certainly not in the beginning. Perhaps learn about their start or the experience of others that are closer to where you are now.

Being inspired will help you push through in tough times. But comparing yourself with anyone else at any time is a quick way to get disenfranchised, disheartened or disappointed. Few people want to feel like that, so make it a rule that you follow from now on.

Learning about the path others have taken is useful. You can then pursue a similar, or the same, path and you should find similar success. Keep refining the path you are on as you go. You may even want to adjust who inspires you.

Reframe your thoughts

Belief Is A Powerful Thing

Posted on May 26, 2020

If you want to achieve something, start believing you can. Believe you can regardless of the hurdles ahead. Belief is a powerful thing, so use it to your advantage.

Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.
Henry Ford

You get to choose your thoughts and design your life. You do this by telling yourself stories about what your life will be like. Use your imagination and dreams and describe the story of your life. And make sure you tell yourself only the good stories.

You will choose to believe something, good or bad, so why waste any time on thinking about things you don’t want to have or have happen?

If your thoughts tend in that direction, at any time, just say ‘Stop’ and think of something uplifting. Maybe you could think of ice cream in the summer or riding your bike as a kid.

Change your words and sentences to strong, supportive, positive words about your ever-improving future. And then believe, with time and action, that this story of your life will unfold.

You choose what to think and how to feel every second, of every minute, of every day. So choose wisely. Decide to make your thoughts empowering so you feel fabulous. Write some powerful and inspiring words on a piece of paper and keep that paper with you. Read it several times a day.

As your success builds and your belief continues to grow, you will realise that belief is a powerful thing.

Reframe your thoughts

Think The Best Of People

Posted on May 22, 2020

Life has its challenges. I think there are a lot of challenges that wear people down so think the best of people. Most people are a) trying their best with all the things on their plate and b) with what they are aware of.

The vast majority of people will try to do their best in a given situation. That doesn’t mean their effort or strategy will be the ideal one. This simply means that they will try their best.

We need to consider that they will be aware of different ideas and methods than us. Those ideas and methods may deliver better results or worse, but if the decision is theirs, then we need to live with their decision.

For example, if your sister is driving you to the airport, she gets to decide which roads to take and which speed to drive. You can have your opinion, but she needs to decide and execute. So let her get on with that. You can make suggestions in advance but please don’t make criticisms after the fact.

She would be doing her best. Your sister probably wouldn’t be trying to make it a terrible, lengthy, uncomfortable journey. She would be doing her best, given what she knows about road conditions, traffic patterns, alternate routes and detours.

Think the best of people. They are not perfect. None of us are. Work with them and ask great questions to get their best answers. You’ll have a happier life.

Action Gratitude Progress Reframe your thoughts

Start Your Day In A Positive Way

Posted on May 17, 2020

Every word, thought or situation can send you down a different track so start your day in a positive way. You may as well choose a good track to start on.

When you wake up, you could smile. Then remember to be grateful for being allowed to play the game for another day.

You could get out of bed, and seize the day – carpe diem style.

Take six minutes to go through the six minute miracle morning. This will help start your day in a positive way.

You could also try to be the most positive and enthusiastic person you know for the rest of the day. What would that look like? Try it. You might enjoy it. It is a good personal challenge to try to develop a few days a week.

If a word, thought or situation triggers you and starts to send you down a less positive detour, recognise it and restart from there.

One way to keep a cheery disposition, and save yourself some precious time every day, is to not read, watch or listen to any news stories. They are the best negative programming if you want to be less happy rapidly.

Try swapping news (radio, tv, paper, online, etc) for something positive like an inspiring podcast, an uplifting book, or some motivating YouTube videos.

Try one or all of these ideas above at least once. You never know what might set you on a different, more positive path.

Progress Reframe your thoughts

Few People Want To Experience Pain

Posted on May 15, 2020

Not many people enjoy pain. Most of us would prefer pleasure, luxury or comfort, if we had a choice. Few people want to experience pain and will avoid it if there is any way that they can.

Whether it is physical pain, like a twisted ankle, or mental discomfort or anguish from a difficult situation, many people would rather avoid it.

Certainly few people want to experience pain due to a reduction in their lifestyle, whether it is their financial position or social status. People work very hard to achieve their goals and would like to see their life on an upward trajectory at all times.

It is hard to accept a different situation in life where you feel you’ve taken a step back, or regressed, rather than progressed. My friend Jenny used to say, “No downgrade”.

The challenge is these new unusual times. Many people may end up suffering a small or large setback in their life over the coming 2-5 years. Nobody will want this but it may be a reality for many.

So it’s a good time to practice kindness, being patient and empathy. The Great Depression lasted 10 years and WWII lasted six years after that. Whatever we experience, keep a positive mindset. The severe challenges are unlikely to last 16 years, as it did for a previous generation. Though, even if they did, you may as well enjoy every moment, because whatever it is, is what we will have.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Be The Person With Uncommon Sense

Posted on May 13, 2020

It’s easy to criticise. As nothing is perfect, there is always at least one fault. So be the person with uncommon sense, that can understand the general point.

Trying to find the cracks in a statement and exploiting them to cause ill will, is not good for your soul or mindset.

It is far better to be the person that can accept some ambiguity, shrug at some irony, take some decisions and get on with it. To act like a responsible, understanding and humble adult is attractive.

The grey line is probably in comedy. Though this can usually be resolved by considering if you are laughing with the person or at the person.

If you’re not sure and you need a second opinion, check if your intent is to make someone else look bad, silly, or incapable. If that is your true, underlying intent, then please stop. It says a lot more about you, how you see the world and what kind of person you are, than it does about them.

Be the person with uncommon sense. While you are at it, go for uncommon courtesy, empathy and thoughtfulness. Be the rare gem of a person who models great characteristics. We will never be perfect, but excellence is a great standard to aim for.

And for all of us still trying to do better and be better, if we slip up, be the person with uncommon sense and take it easy on the criticism. There is an old saying in there that reminds me of Billy Joel’s album ’Glass Houses’.

Reframe your thoughts

Keep A Positive Mind

Posted on May 12, 2020

It can be easy to let things slide a little. It’s simple to lose track and dwell a little on the negative. However, you must keep a positive mind throughout.

It seems easier to go downhill fast. It is certainly more effort to spiral up, with control and positive thoughts. Negative, dark thinking can be achieved very quickly if you don’t watch what you are doing.

One way to keep positive and happy is to not have any expectations. When you do think about the future, meet it with anticipation and curiosity. Guide your destiny but allow whatever arrives in your path to be there. Respond to it with a clear mind.

The anticipation you feel should find you full of wonder about what the next piece of the puzzle will be in your life. Curiosity helps keep the mind open to whatever it can be.

If you keep a positive mind, you will be best placed for the next thing that happens in your life. It can be the easiest and hardest thing to do. Though you should do it.

Do you remember Dr. Frasier Crane of the tv series Frasier? He would help people to be clear on their happy place. Then, when an event occurred that required a positive mindset, he would remind them to get to their happy place.

This is a great mindset trick that is particularly handy to have when life throws you a curveball.

Action Progress Reframe your thoughts

How Can I Do What I Want And Have A Different Life?

Posted on May 6, 2020

This is the unspoken question many people have in their subconscious when they are embarking on some change. How can I do what I want and have a different life? This idea, whether conscious or not, is certainly more likely to be felt if the activities for change are not something you want to do.

I want the new job, higher pay and fancier title. How do I get that without having to update my cv, look for a job, tell anyone, do more work than I am now or work any harder or have to learn new skills?

Can I please stay the way I am, with my habits and my own way of being? Can I do that and have everything else that I want? The short answer is no.

The next time you think to yourself, “How can I do what I want and have a different life?”, remember, you can’t. You must take the bull be the horns and ride it. Success leaves clues….

“Success leaves clues. Be a better observer of the winners and the losers, those who are doing well and those who are falling behind. Take mental notes and say: ‘I’m going to adjust what I’m doing based on what I see’”
Jim Rohn

Just be aware of what you are observing. Is it the best example to follow? Or, at least, is it better than what you currently follow? If it is, go ahead, use that until you find something better. If it isn’t, even if it is your Mum, Dad or local clergy, do not follow their lead. Find an example that leads you to the results that you want in your life. Then you need to put in the work!

Reframe your thoughts

Ask Powerful Questions

Posted on May 5, 2020

Ask, “Where do I want to be?”, not “Where will I end up?”. When you ask powerful questions, you are more likely to get empowering answers.

“Where do I want to be?”, is a question which implies control, desire and passion. It suggests possibility. The question asks you to open your mind and dream, to consider all the limitless possibilities. It allows you to be honest with yourself.

If you feel yourself holding back, shrinking, feeling unworthy, uneasy or in any way uncomfortable, then press on! Give yourself permission to explore those thoughts that you think may be out of reach for you. Practice taking your mind to the edge of uncomfortable and driving right on through.

If you’re feeling anxious, reframe that feeling to excitement. Same feeling in your body, but use a more powerful word to describe it. Get your mind on top of it and surf the wave of uncertainty. Stop letting yourself get dragged under water in the undertow. Be determined and fight for control of your own mind and the thoughts you allow it to think.

“Where will I end up?”, is a question that implies no control, no vision and no effort. It is as if you are drifting along in a predetermined river. Well, you are not a fish. Get up and go find yourself a better river, cleaner lake or large ocean where your opportunities are better.

Ask better questions of yourself. Ask powerful questions that bring you face to face with your fears and dreams. Press on through from uncomfortable to unstoppable.

If you do, you will be able to achieve anything.

Action Reframe your thoughts

How I Built A Habit In 1 Moment And You Can Too

Posted on April 28, 2020

I’ve done it a couple of times in the last 12 months so I know it works. Some might say this is backed by science and critics will criticise. Either way, this is how I built a habit in 1 moment and you can too.

To build a habit you must commit to it and make it a ‘must’ in your life. It is that simple.

Here are my proof points.

From the moment I moved house last summer, I committed to going to my wonderful new home every time I left it. I did not go to my old house every day for two months, even though it was only 700 meters away.
At New Year 2018, I decided to train and run two marathons in the spring of 2019. I trained daily and completed both in decent times.
Writing this daily blog. I committed, made it a must, and this is my 110th daily blog in a row. It was automatic from the moment I decided it was a must in my life and I had committed to it.

In James Clear‘s blog post, “How long does it actually take to form a new habit”, he notes two key things of extra interest to me. The first is when he references a study of 96 people which finds it takes exactly 66 days before a new behaviour becomes automatic. The second item of interest was the following quote.

“You have to embrace the process. You have to commit to the system.”
James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits

To me, his quote is more powerful than the small study and countless other studies like it.

I believe habits develop as quickly as you want them to. The more you make it a must, the more likely it will be automatic from day one. For example, how often did you turn up to your old job, or classroom, after the first day at the new one?

Tony Robbins sums it up quite nicely in his quote below.

“The difference between ‘must’ and ‘should’ is the life you want and the life you have.” When something is a must, you find a way.
Tony Robbins

I think people are amazing and can create new habits pretty quickly when determined to do so. Decide it is a must and commit.

This is how I built a habit in 1 moment and you can too.

[NB: This is dedicated to my Nana who was told in her 40’s to quit smoking or never see her grandchildren grow up. She never touched another one and, gratefully, I was almost 30 when she passed.]