Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 83 of 103

Practice Receiving

Posted on March 24, 2021

This is very tough for many people. You may be one of them. Although, some folks make it look effortless and genuine. Practice receiving gifts, compliments and good wishes.

People often look quite uncomfortable when receiving an unsolicited gift. There can be a feeling of unpreparedness or a desire to ignore it or to give back.

A compliment is similar. Some people will downplay a compliment. Others will quickly change the subject, redirect or ignore the whole thing. This discomfort with receiving is something we should all be addressing. Practicing gratitude is good for the soul.

It is so easy to say, ‘you’re welcome’, and yet so easy not to. In addition, saying, ’thank you’, as a simple response to a compliment just needs to be practiced. The more you practice at home, at Christmas and at birthdays, the better you will become at receiving.

There is no need to give the other person a gift, compliment or good wishes. Simply accept their offering, show appreciation and move on. Have intent to do this the next time you receive something.

If you practice doing this at home, possibly in front of a mirror, you will get good at it quickly. It will feel genuine and be so. Like almost all things that look gracious and effortless, they have been practiced 1,000 times before.

Practice receiving.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

Make Up A Story

Posted on March 22, 2021

You do this anyway. Most people do. Something happens and then we decide why it happened. We make up a story that suits our belief system.

This always happens to me. Rich people are greedy. They are a real jerk.

Those are just some of the many common phrases people use to help fill in the blanks of the story. Some of the words, phrases and sentences we use are learned from others. However, sometimes they come from our inner critic.

Notice when you do this. Not only when you add more to your own stories about you or others, but also when other people do it. Get curious about word selection and order.

Become aware of how people around you speak. If you are not feeling empowered by their words, you might want to reduce your exposure to them. Distance yourself, or become just like them.

As for your inner commentator, give them a name and then tell them to go have a nap. You don’t need some random voice in your head berating you or creating drama by adding inaccurate comments to stories.

Create powerful stories in the place of the less helpful ones. Use ‘I am’ statements and let your spirit soar. Be delighted by the stories you hear and tell. If they are going to be fabricated anyway, make them empowering.

Go ahead, make up a story.

Financial Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts Time Video

Life Is Like A Movie

Posted on March 19, 2021

Have you noticed how things in certain movies become things in life? Remember the swish swish of doors in Star Trek? Life is like a movie, though only certain ones at certain times.

So when I was growing up, the swish swish of the doors on the Starship Enterprise seemed so futuristic. However, now most metro centres have thousands of these doors.

Then things started to unfold like the Schwarzenegger film Total Recall. The whole idea of virtual reality. We are getting there with Virtual Reality, Augmented Reality and Artificial Intelligence. We certainly have driverless cars on the near term radar. And trips to Mars being scheduled.

Then we have seen some elements of Tom Cruise’s Minority Report. People are being condemned for even thinking of an activity with a criminal element. It doesn’t matter if a crime has happened. The fact that it could have happened is enough for you to be removed from society.

Now things are moving on with skins in Fortnite and a virtual world in Clubhouse. This and the VR makes me think that the Ready Player One reality is not that far off from our current life.

Finally, we have Terminator. Well, that melting man business and pulling yourself back together is quite impressive. But happy for it to be a few more years before that.

Life is like a movie. Go get the popcorn ?.

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Perceived Value

Posted on March 17, 2021

Most people stay at a hotel so that they can get a night’s sleep in a bed. So other than the bed, does anything else matter? The perceived value is different for different people.

Some people would like more than the bed. They may wish to have a private shower, toilet and washbasin too. Lots of people require a specific level of cleanliness also. Others still, need a large room and blackout blinds.

But all of this may be irrelevant if the customer does not get a good night’s sleep. There are so many factors that affect perceived value. There are too many to list out in this short blog. However, it does seem to prove the point that beauty or value is in the eye of the beholder.

Think of all the factors that go into selecting your milk from a shop. It might be brand, taste, price, size or position on the shelf. That is from a product that is quite basic too. Imagine if there were lots of other factors like when considering a degree course.

A course is quite personal to you. You need to like the brand, the teacher or instructor, the topic, the location and the timings, to name a few key elements. Some people will pay $10,000 for a course with a specific outcome from a specific teacher.

Others will attribute little or no perceived value.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Life Before Electricity

Posted on March 16, 2021

What was that like? Imagine how many things in your life would be quite different right now. It’s staggering. Imagine life before electricity.

So you would not be able to use your lights at your house. There would be no television, radio or mobile phones. Yes, it is starting to look a little bleak.

You wouldn’t have a battery in your car. And there would be no batteries in your game. Street lamps would not exist. Nor would integrated fire alarms. Driving on unfamiliar roads would require a physical paper map. No Tom Tom would be there to help you.

Electric cars would not be a thing. They wouldn’t run. Maybe a car made with a water based power source would exist. So many endless possibilities.

Could you live in a time without electricity? What would you miss the most? What would you miss the least?

Electricity is so fun to have around. It’s the life of a party. It would be shocking without it.

Spend one day without using electricity and see how you get on. You might realise how truly valuable this commodity is. Sometimes we only come to this conclusion after we’ve tried the hardship exercise.

It’s hard to imagine life before electricity.

Action Gratitude Health & Fitness Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts

Choose Discipline Or Disaster

Posted on March 14, 2021

Discipline sounds so strict. It has echoes of an unwavering sergeant major accepting nothing but your best. She asks you to choose discipline or disaster.

I have seen this in my personal life. If I am not disciplined about something, it can turn into a disaster. Now disaster is a relative term here as there are many stops on the road to disaster, but I think you understand what I mean.

Take the early morning alarm scenario. If you are disciplined, you can wake up on the first go. Then you can get ready as planned and and be where you should be on time. Alternatively, you can hit the snooze button a few times and then find yourself late for the rest of the day. This is sometimes the beginning of many disasters.

If your sports team is not good about their discipline, they may not build up sufficient strength and stamina before a match. This lack of discipline could result in a disaster. This could be a terrible score or perhaps some unnecessary injuries.

Of course, with a bit of discipline, you can find some amazing results. You don’t have to be perfect, but consistency helps.

Choose discipline or disaster. The former has more upsides.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Keeping Life Simple

Posted on March 11, 2021

Do you have the secret? Is there any way to do it? Everyday there is a new deluge of information and items to address. Keeping life simple is no easy feat.

Each day you will have to deal with more things. Today I received some Council Tax bills for some of our properties, a home insurance renewal notice and some yummy looking food pamphlets. (I imagined the food to be tasty, not the actual pamphlets themselves.)

So recycle one pamphlet but keep another. Where to put it though? We put it on the fridge as we intend to use it this week. The other envelopes I opened and made some notes on them. They then found themselves in our Tickler file. This is a filing system we learned from David Allen, who wrote the book Getting Things Done.

When used correctly, it is an awesome and powerful filing and tidying system. When it isn’t, it is the equivalent of the stationary bike as clothes horse.

We also received a delivery of a shower system. Life is a continual in-tray of things to sort, sift and solve. The quicker you can systematise or delegate, the happier you will be.

Look, those items come in the same time every year. Like Christmas, Easter and July 1st, they come around every year. Plan for them,

Keeping life simple will make you smile.

Gratitude Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts Think About It

How Much Is Enough?

Posted on March 9, 2021

We all start out looking for more. More air, food, water, sleep, stuff, etc. But we don’t always say what enough is. How much is enough?

Take, sleep, for example. How much sleep does one need? Many experts say 6-9 hours of sleep per night on average. But you might be chasing some amazing opportunities. Then your sleep time might go down to 2 or 3 hours per day. After a week like that, you might need a few days with 10 hours of sleep to catch up back to a normal equilibrium.

Money is a topic we discussed in a Clubhouse room on Monday. Often people will set a specific goal to achieve. But once achieved, people don’t always stop. People can get caught up in the chase and forget what they are even chasing.

If your goal is to earn $3 million, could you make $5 million? And if you can make that much, why not use those learned skills to earn more. Soon you could be on the treadmill of more more more and not stop to smell those roses.

It is a good idea to note, at the start, how much of something will be enough. Then you will know when you can let up on the chase and maybe broaden your focus.

How much is enough?

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Defining Yourself

Posted on March 8, 2021

This can be a little tricky. Though it does not have to be. We all carry around a view of ourselves. It may be accurate or not. Defining yourself, however, is happening by you and everyone else.

You define yourself as you think you are or how you wish to be. To make significant and long term changes, one usually needs to redefine who they are. It is one thing to stop smoking. It is another thing to think of yourself as a non-smoker. Without redefining who you are, the likelihood of this change remaining diminishes greatly.

You can practice ‘I am’ statements which help you reconfirm your thoughts. Like learning our times tables, we are creating a more powerful neural pathway that serves us better.

You should certainly try to improve your self image and your self esteem. Consider the amazing, confident you and all of your incredible success to date. Be bold with your praise and be clear with your affirmations. You need to hear this more than anything else in the spoken language.

No matter what you do, defining yourself based on someone else’s standards, starting point or success is not clever or helpful. Just be the best version of yourself every single day.

Observe Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Generalisations Hurt

Posted on March 7, 2021

Generalising can be useful. However, it can also be quite unhelpful. When someone uses them too liberally, generalisations hurt.

Positive references are fine to be generalised, such as “These children all look thirsty”. However, try to steer clear of using any general comment if there is a negative connotation to it.

Some people like to use sweeping statements as a shortcut. For example, “Americans are X”, “Children aren’t capable of Y” and “This city is a disaster” are too broad in their scope. When you identify something you aren’t happy with, please try to single out the specific person or situation. Otherwise, this is where a lot of isms and ists are born.

A whole movement can be created when a couple of dozen or a few hundred people act in a certain way but it is extrapolated across 50 million. I do believe that most people have a hard time knowing what their Mom, spouse, kid or boss thinks. So how do people feel they can accurately group thousands or millions of people in any meaningful way?

I know it feels better to have a large group of people with you. And it is easier to comment on whole groups of people. But, expediency and magnitude will exacerbate the problem. Unfortunately, one needs to take time and get specific to identify the actual issue that needs attention.

Generalisations hurt. Generally speaking.