Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 86 of 107

Creating Your Own Prison

Posted on April 19, 2021

Have you ever felt trapped? It could be because of your circumstances, your choices or your thoughts. Creating your own prison is not what most of us set out to do.

Yet, many of us do it at some point in our lives. We may get into a great relationship but then things turn and we feel trapped. We also dive into things like a job or our own business and then feel we can’t escape. Lastly, we develop a way of thinking, patterns, that are unhelpful. We set up a guard to keep us stuck where we are.

Become aware of such things before you set off down a certain path. Ask yourself what the end of this path might look like in several years. Sometimes we can see clues to our future. We need to consider these signs, clues and intuition moments.

If we don’t see these when we set off, keep an eye out for signposts and side roads. If we are paying attention, we can recognise patterns of behaviour before they negatively impact us. These can be our own or the actions of others.

If you feel trapped in a situation, consider what you are grateful for. Also, consider what the many options are that you have. Think of the easy ones and the hard ones. Don’t just swap a tough situation for another one.

Certainly don’t make creating your own prison a habit.

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Pure Joy

Posted on April 17, 2021

Birthdays are awesome when you are young. They tend to have new elements each year. In addition you enjoy getting older. They’re pure joy to watch too. I just had that feeling again with my son turning 12.

It was great to see his enthusiasm for the day ahead. Then throughout the day, he was smiling, laughing, energised, and fully enjoying himself. Despite the lockdown limitations, and this being his second lockdown birthday, he seemed to love it. And it was pure joy to see him embrace it and enjoy the day.

We will celebrate across the weekend as he opens gifts and cards and receives lovely messages from friends and family near and far.

As you get older, the enthusiasm can switch from looking forward to a birthday to being thankful to have reached it. Either way, we should try to remember that every one is an event to cherish. In addition to every day in between them.

Looking at the smile on my sons face today reminds me how fortunate we are. Count those blessings. Enjoy even the troubling times together. But most of all, be grateful for those sounds of laughter, energy and enthusiasm. It is amazing how quickly 12 years can swoosh past.

Savour it. It’s pure joy.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Ask These Two Questions

Posted on April 16, 2021

What do you hope the outcome of your actions will be? What might be the outcome of your actions? Ask these two questions of yourself each time you post on any social media. In addition, you can reflect on these questions after any conversation or physical action you undertake.

Assess the outcome of your actions from your supporters perspective and also your critics. Get the actual outcome. Do not only use your biased or ego-driven opinion.

I felt this concept was timely to address today. In part due to yesterday’s blog post and also due to a tweet I saw earlier today. Finally, it fits in with Section 6, Review, of my forthcoming book, Achieve Anything.

The tweet was from a woman who was not pleased that, and how, someone on the set asked what her role was. The question seemed to be a benign set of words but tone and context would have been helpful to more fully understand.

I didn’t question or comment on the tweet as I only like to add positive comments. This one didn’t feel like there was one available. Or it might not have been seen as such, and that is not my intent either.

I did wonder, for far too many minutes, what her intent was. So many potential ideas, yet few of them positive. Apart from what seemed like some self-indulgence and a viral tweet (80k likes on a 2k account).

Before her, or your, next communication to the world, perhaps one could ask these two questions.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Get Organised

Posted on April 12, 2021

Have you ever been unprepared for an event? Some events happen every year. At the same time! Get organised and get your systems in place.

There have been occasions when I am not as prepared for a day as I feel I should be or could be. Let’s say it is a calendar event like a birthday, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, taxes, school terms, etc.

We all know that these things are coming. In fact, we know as soon as one finishes that we have 10 months to prepare for the next one. Which gives us two months to execute exceptionally well. In theory.

And if you really think about it, you have years to prepare for all the annual events. Given they always happen on the same day, it is pretty predictable when Christmas Day will be 37 years from now. And taxes that year will likely be due on the same day that year as it is this year.

There really should be no surprises. I’m telling you this as much as I am reminding myself. And the preparation for each event is usually going to be the same. Allow time to get the tax documents together and go through them with your accountant. Do them now at the beginning of the period rather than scrambling at the end. It will even take less time to do it now.

Get organised.

Action Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts Time

Surviving The Winter

Posted on April 11, 2021

It can get pretty cold and dark at a certain time of the year. Windy with harsh rains or even sleet and snow. Surviving the winter can be a treacherous undertaking. And that is just the physical aspect.

It can be easy to wonder how people survived through winter conditions 1,000 years ago. Yes, those winter conditions still exist in the northern and very southern based countries or regions. However, many of them benefit from much better housebuilding, heating, transportation, food storage etc.

It is still a wonder how people get through challenging winter conditions. Many of us today would find it very difficult to be out in the cold all day for hours and then return to a cold structure for food and sleep. If you have ever been out camping in particularly wet or cold conditions, you can start to understand the hardships.

Winter can also be a mental place. Where it seems hopeless, cold, dark and lifeless. We have to guard against those conditions too. We need to practice resilience and know that there is always a spring and summer to look forward to, no matter the severity of the winter.

Our northern winter is coming to an end. It will try us a little more but spring is on its way. Keep positive.

Surviving the winter is essential.

Action Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts Time

Focus On The Thing

Posted on April 9, 2021

Gosh it can be hard to get clear and focused sometimes. There are so many interesting things in life. You need to focus on the thing that brings you closer to your goal though.

You need to be clear where you are heading. Then do only those things that get you there. Remove all the extraneous distractions. Once you do this, you will move forward so much quicker.

This week I am reminding myself of the things I need to reduce or stop. There are many things not on the path to my top goals. Some are fun or enjoyable though. Which make them more difficult for me to remove from my day.

However, in order to win and achieve the goal, I need re-focus and commit.

Is there anything you have been aiming for but not really putting the required time or focus into getting it done? Are there too many emails, requests, unnecessary things, keeping you away from the achievement you want most?

This was coming, but today’s Quote Of The Day Show podcast episode really underlined this idea for me today.

Sometimes the Knowing-Doing Gap comes in, sits down and wedges itself between you and your goals. Get back to doing what you know you are supposed to do.

Focus on the thing.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

Dig Your Heels In

Posted on April 6, 2021

That can feel sooo good in the middle of an argument. It may not be good but the adrenaline rush and everything works. Dig your heels in deeper as the discussion / argument continues to gather apace.

Generally speaking, we people like to be right about things. The funny thing is we are already right about our perspective. The challenge comes when other people have a different perspective. We can get quite animated explaining to people how our perspective is right and their perspective is wrong.

At this point, you could just walk away. You know you are right from your perspective. In addition, you have little interest in the other persons perspective. You just know they are wrong. And you are frustrated that someone’s lived experience could have got them so far off the correct track (i.e. your current perspective).

Again, best to walk away and reassess your own view of the world. No need to dig your heels in to press the matter. Few people seem to crack with greater pressure applied. You just don’t see it very often or ever.

Sometimes you feel you must win the battle and so forget about the larger purpose of life – Joy.

Don’t dig your heels in.

Action Progress Reframe your thoughts Time

Start Small But Dream Big

Posted on April 5, 2021

The trouble at the beginning is that there may not be much there. Sometimes there is a seed or an idea. Start small but dream big.

The critical part is to start. You can make whatever fanciful dream you want, but if you don’t begin, you won’t get there. And you can’t usually do step 2 until after you’ve done step 1.

Sometimes we can use a shortcut to get somewhere. However, even shortcuts have a beginning point. Don’t try to maximise, effiency-drive everything. Every podcast started with one listener as did every Clubhouse room. There is nothing wrong with that.

Now staying that size is a problem. You should grow a little. If not, check out why. Ask around. Get some answers. And then do something about it.

It is not everyone’s destiny to become some huge big deal. But it isn’t appropriate to stay so small as to be insignificant. You should be able to build an audience. If not, you have got to ask yourself why.

Just because you start at the bottom, doesn’t mean you have to stay there. Add more value, develop a skill, practice, learn, develop.

You have it in you to do something exciting! So get on that. Take an interest in your craft.

Start small but dream big.

Action Gratitude Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts Time

Helping Others

Posted on April 4, 2021

Do they really need your help? Or do you really need them to need you? Are they capable of doing it themselves? Helping others can be a wonderful thing. It can also be done for a variety of reasons.

Altruism is rarely altruistic. Often the person performing the act of kindness or assistance will get a jolt of feel good for helping out. Some enjoy that feeling that comes from helping so much that they continue to help people even if they no longer need it.

One might even make up some symptoms or stories of helplessness to prove their assistance is required. This is where things need a reassessment. We should be aiming to help people to become self sufficient. Teach them to fish, not give them a fish.

No one should be trying to create a situation of learned helplessness. Nor should people be allowing or encouraging this to happen. People like to feel a sense of independence. I believe this is for both the young, the old and everyone in between.

When helping someone or a group of people, have an exit strategy. Know what the end of your useful time looks like and stick to it. Help the other person but ween them off of you.

That is one of the keys to helping others.

Action Reframe your thoughts

Replace Smart With Capable

Posted on March 27, 2021

Having a fixed or growth mindset can dramatically impact the success you find in life. Because of this, replace smart with capable when speaking with children, or anyone else for that matter.

When children, and people in general, hear praise that they are smart, it can lead them to believe they have the answers already. And that if they don’t have the answers, that perhaps they are stupid. This can lead to the desire to only do things where they know the answer for sure. This in turn can lead to reducing their circle of knowledge and reducing their participation in class or conversation.

This is indicative of a fixed mindset. This is the idea that what we know, we know. People can believe that if they don’t know, then they are not intelligent rather than they need to go find the answer. Someone with a growth mindset will note their lack of knowledge and learn to grow their knowledge base.

This is all reviewed in Carol S. Dweck’s book Mindset and in her research.

This idea is why I choose to use the word capable with my kids. They do not know everything. Nor can they do everything. However, they are capable of learning, training, practicing and improving. This is how I suggest they tackle all things in life.

Replace smart with capable for better long term results.