Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 89 of 111

Performing At Your Best

Posted on April 27, 2021

Life is a competition between you today and you yesterday. Other people can inspire you to push harder. However, performing at your best is up to you.

Like many things in life, some people start ahead of you and others start behind you. Regardless of where you start in life, improving on your current position is mostly down to you.

If you were born with speedy legs, you will run faster than most, especially in your younger years. However, unless you train and develop your body and mindset, other people may overtake you in a race. You can be born with talent, but unless you build on that, people with greater desire will leave you for dust.

Of course the race is still just between you and yesterday’s you but it’s better for your mind if you improve. If you don’t put the effort in, you may regret it later. And often this involves some perceived sacrifices that need to be made.

This is true for all the areas of life. Whether it is money, scholastic achievements, sports or relationships, you should be mindful of what you are doing and how much effort you are putting in.

Performing at your best will pay off. Keep striving.

Action Progress Reframe your thoughts Time

Move Swiftly

Posted on April 26, 2021

A comfortable pace is exactly that – comfortable. Consider moving a little quicker. Become a little obsessive. Move swiftly like it’s the day before you are going on holiday for two weeks.

Add a little bit more pace to your step when you are walking. Speak a fraction of a speed more quickly. Come to the point of your comment a little quicker.

This means you might just get more done in your day. Or you might be on time for more events and appointments. It will also mean that you take up less time of others.

If you do not value your time, you are unlikely to value the time of others. Wasting your own time is one thing but wasting someone else’s time is not ideal.

I practice moving quicker by setting an alarm to ring when I should be done a piece of work. If I have some smaller admin items to complete, I set the timer and begin my ‘sprints’. I see if I can work quickly to get the item done in that time. Sometimes I can do it. Sometimes I can’t. But I keep trying and with that I build a habit of hustling through items.

Come on. Move swiftly.

Action Reframe your thoughts

Treat People Appropriately

Posted on April 24, 2021

Equality sounds good. However, does equality mean treat people the same? Possibly, but maybe not. Try to treat people appropriately rather than the same. And yes there is some nuance in there but if you thought about it, you already know what I mean.

I like the idea of appropriateness. It allows for some differences in situation. For example, I don’t treat my young children exactly the same as I do my wife. Conversation topics are a little different, expectations are a little different and the comfort around their independence is not identical.

Another thought is, if we treated everyone equally, or the same, in the toilet category, women would have urinals. Or switching it the other way, men’s rooms might have (unnecessary for them) sanitary items available. It seems more appropriate that these differences exist. Making them the same would be a stretch on resources, and they would very rarely get used.

One question I know you’re thinking about is, “who decides what appropriate means?” For what era are we defining it? And once defined for the current world, know that things will shift in a year or five too.

Perhaps we really already know what appropriate would look like. Or at least we would know our current best idea of appropriate. Many people would be happy with that and it might make them aware, or at least curious about, other best practices.

Treat people appropriately.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Check Your Highest Thoughts

Posted on April 23, 2021

What filters do you use to see the world? Are you in favour of rose-tinted glasses? Or are you a hardened sceptic? Check your highest thoughts carefully as they are the ones you filter the world through. This in turn creates your reality.

Remember, it is not the reality. It is simply your interpretation of reality. If you think people are inherently good, you will see the positive in people’s actions. If you deem people to be evil, then that is how you will generally see people’s actions. And of course you can take sub-categories of people too.

For example, let’s say you think that wealthy people are evil, corrupt and morally bankrupt. Then, even when a multi-billionaire donates a billion dollars to a charity or hospital, you’ll find the negative. You might ask why they are so greedy and why didn’t they donate more? Or you could reference how they are just using it as a tax write-off and publicity stunt.

Your thoughts can betray you as you create stories in your head based on how you want to believe the world is. Though, often enough, the world is not as we create it in our heads with our preferred filter.

Check your highest thoughts. Enlightenment is closer than you think.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Perfection As The Starting Point

Posted on April 22, 2021

You’re going to be rattled and frustrated if this is how you start each day. It’s definitely a high bar to maintain with perfection as the starting point.

Perfection. Think about that for a minute. Is it possible for everything to be perfect at all times? Do you reach that level every day? Ever? Do tell us in the comments how you do it please, if you do.

By aiming for what many would argue is an impossible standard, you set yourself up for pain and anguish. Creating an expectation that is generally considered impossible, the trouble begins. Reality will rarely meet that lofty expectation. So rather than being grateful for the millions of things going well in your day, you may notice just the near-misses.

If you spend your time noting all of the imperfections in your day, you’re likely to find happiness somewhat elusive. The larger the distance between reality and your expectations, the ER Gap, the more stressful your life is likely to be.

One way to check if you engage in this heightened expectation, is to check your language and joy level. Your ER Gap may be too wide if you are often using words like ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’. Or, if you tend to note the things that aren’t going well. Try to notice all the good things that are going well. Those things you take for granted. Like your health, house, partner, children, car, roads, running water, heat, free schools, etc. Find joy.

Start today without perfection as the starting point.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts Think About It Time

Creating Your Own Prison

Posted on April 19, 2021

Have you ever felt trapped? It could be because of your circumstances, your choices or your thoughts. Creating your own prison is not what most of us set out to do.

Yet, many of us do it at some point in our lives. We may get into a great relationship but then things turn and we feel trapped. We also dive into things like a job or our own business and then feel we can’t escape. Lastly, we develop a way of thinking, patterns, that are unhelpful. We set up a guard to keep us stuck where we are.

Become aware of such things before you set off down a certain path. Ask yourself what the end of this path might look like in several years. Sometimes we can see clues to our future. We need to consider these signs, clues and intuition moments.

If we don’t see these when we set off, keep an eye out for signposts and side roads. If we are paying attention, we can recognise patterns of behaviour before they negatively impact us. These can be our own or the actions of others.

If you feel trapped in a situation, consider what you are grateful for. Also, consider what the many options are that you have. Think of the easy ones and the hard ones. Don’t just swap a tough situation for another one.

Certainly don’t make creating your own prison a habit.

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Pure Joy

Posted on April 17, 2021

Birthdays are awesome when you are young. They tend to have new elements each year. In addition you enjoy getting older. They’re pure joy to watch too. I just had that feeling again with my son turning 12.

It was great to see his enthusiasm for the day ahead. Then throughout the day, he was smiling, laughing, energised, and fully enjoying himself. Despite the lockdown limitations, and this being his second lockdown birthday, he seemed to love it. And it was pure joy to see him embrace it and enjoy the day.

We will celebrate across the weekend as he opens gifts and cards and receives lovely messages from friends and family near and far.

As you get older, the enthusiasm can switch from looking forward to a birthday to being thankful to have reached it. Either way, we should try to remember that every one is an event to cherish. In addition to every day in between them.

Looking at the smile on my sons face today reminds me how fortunate we are. Count those blessings. Enjoy even the troubling times together. But most of all, be grateful for those sounds of laughter, energy and enthusiasm. It is amazing how quickly 12 years can swoosh past.

Savour it. It’s pure joy.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Ask These Two Questions

Posted on April 16, 2021

What do you hope the outcome of your actions will be? What might be the outcome of your actions? Ask these two questions of yourself each time you post on any social media. In addition, you can reflect on these questions after any conversation or physical action you undertake.

Assess the outcome of your actions from your supporters perspective and also your critics. Get the actual outcome. Do not only use your biased or ego-driven opinion.

I felt this concept was timely to address today. In part due to yesterday’s blog post and also due to a tweet I saw earlier today. Finally, it fits in with Section 6, Review, of my forthcoming book, Achieve Anything.

The tweet was from a woman who was not pleased that, and how, someone on the set asked what her role was. The question seemed to be a benign set of words but tone and context would have been helpful to more fully understand.

I didn’t question or comment on the tweet as I only like to add positive comments. This one didn’t feel like there was one available. Or it might not have been seen as such, and that is not my intent either.

I did wonder, for far too many minutes, what her intent was. So many potential ideas, yet few of them positive. Apart from what seemed like some self-indulgence and a viral tweet (80k likes on a 2k account).

Before her, or your, next communication to the world, perhaps one could ask these two questions.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Get Organised

Posted on April 12, 2021

Have you ever been unprepared for an event? Some events happen every year. At the same time! Get organised and get your systems in place.

There have been occasions when I am not as prepared for a day as I feel I should be or could be. Let’s say it is a calendar event like a birthday, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, taxes, school terms, etc.

We all know that these things are coming. In fact, we know as soon as one finishes that we have 10 months to prepare for the next one. Which gives us two months to execute exceptionally well. In theory.

And if you really think about it, you have years to prepare for all the annual events. Given they always happen on the same day, it is pretty predictable when Christmas Day will be 37 years from now. And taxes that year will likely be due on the same day that year as it is this year.

There really should be no surprises. I’m telling you this as much as I am reminding myself. And the preparation for each event is usually going to be the same. Allow time to get the tax documents together and go through them with your accountant. Do them now at the beginning of the period rather than scrambling at the end. It will even take less time to do it now.

Get organised.

Action Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts Time

Surviving The Winter

Posted on April 11, 2021

It can get pretty cold and dark at a certain time of the year. Windy with harsh rains or even sleet and snow. Surviving the winter can be a treacherous undertaking. And that is just the physical aspect.

It can be easy to wonder how people survived through winter conditions 1,000 years ago. Yes, those winter conditions still exist in the northern and very southern based countries or regions. However, many of them benefit from much better housebuilding, heating, transportation, food storage etc.

It is still a wonder how people get through challenging winter conditions. Many of us today would find it very difficult to be out in the cold all day for hours and then return to a cold structure for food and sleep. If you have ever been out camping in particularly wet or cold conditions, you can start to understand the hardships.

Winter can also be a mental place. Where it seems hopeless, cold, dark and lifeless. We have to guard against those conditions too. We need to practice resilience and know that there is always a spring and summer to look forward to, no matter the severity of the winter.

Our northern winter is coming to an end. It will try us a little more but spring is on its way. Keep positive.

Surviving the winter is essential.