Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 89 of 102

You’re Not Wrong

Posted on November 16, 2020

Or are you right? They may sound like the same thing but often enough they are not. If you guessed they were though, you’re not wrong.

I’ve always found this phrase a strange one. If I am not wrong, doesn’t that mean I am right? On the surface the answer might be yes. Though sometimes people have one or two other options which they believe to be correct or more right than your view. So those options would be more right than your position. This is a possibility.

Alternatively, you could simply be right. By that, I also mean the most right. However, the person responding to you might have a negative frame of mind and therefore responds to things with a more negative angle.

Sometimes though, the person just does not like to admit they are wrong. Or even worse, for some, is to acknowledge that you are right! One way to check what they mean is to ask them, ‘Does that mean I am right?’. Sometimes their reaction to that question is the best bit regardless of what their answer is. In my experience of asking the question, I have noticed it really gets people to stop and think.

Enjoy those times when ‘you’re not wrong’ means ‘you‘re right’!

Action Progress Reframe your thoughts Time

You Need A Full Court Press

Posted on November 14, 2020

Sitting back and waiting for things to happen is not always a good strategy. Sometimes you need a full court press. It’s an extreme defensive strategy used in basketball, which can be seen as a form of intense offensive strategy.

Sometimes you just need to be patient. For example, with a pregnancy, despite any anxiousness, it is generally best to be patient and breathe well. For other things, like buying concert tickets or a property, it can pay off if you continually press things forward.

This is where I like to use the full court press term and analogy. In our experience, people have a specific pace to get things done. When you combine that with other people and their pace, it tends to mean things move at the slowest pace in the group.

Unfortunately, this is not always ideal. This is because there will be times that you have a property opportunity that could disappear if you are not quick. Many people say that it takes months to complete on a property transaction. While that may be true, if you are patient and let the process run at their pace, if you get engaged, you can complete in a few weeks.

The key considerations are next steps, planning and communication.

Then you need a full court press and to continuously move everyone forward each day.

Action Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts

Learning While Teaching

Posted on November 13, 2020

Learning something is good. Being able to convey that knowledge to someone else is brilliant. Learning while teaching a skill or subject is possibly the highest form of engaged interaction.

I’ve heard good teachers, speakers and sports personalities refer to how much they learn while sharing their knowledge or skill. It is an interesting aspect of life. By giving someone the benefit of our experience, knowledge or skill, not only will they gain, but we gain as well.

However, we may only gain if we are paying attention and open to learning. If we assume we are only providing information, we may miss the opportunity to receive feedback loops of learning.

It takes a certain skill to transfer knowledge from yourself to someone else. Not everyone is good at it, though it can be learned. Though while you are transferring that knowledge, you can also reassess how you learned, understood or integrated that knowledge. During this process, you may look at things in a new light. Perhaps new experiences, thoughts or information will impact your perception and adjust your mindset.

Although it can be quite difficult to be confronted with new points of view, it is beneficial to grasp those moments. If there was only one best way and one right answer, we would all know it by now.

Learning while teaching is a worthwhile skill to develop.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Normalisation Has Pros And Cons

Posted on November 10, 2020

Normal and normalising sound like good words to me. However, they have a darker side that receives less attention. Normalisation has pros and cons and you are better prepared if you know some of them.

Normal sounds regular, acceptable, average and uncontroversial. It has a nice sound to it. For example, ‘She seems fairly normal’, or, ‘We need to normalise relations with them’ have a positive tone to them.

Although it does depend on what you deem acceptable for normal and what you are comfortable with. Is smoking normal? If you ask a group of smokers, the answer is more likely to be yes. For fresh air advocates, rolling up dried leaves, setting it on fire and inhaling it may not seem normal.

So perhaps we note that you hold the belief that smoking is not normal or desirable. However, you might meet someone interesting and later on find out they smoke. Gradually, through numerous interactions with the person, you may start to normalise smoking. Your graduated exposure to smoking and the brand enhancement it receives being associated to a likeable person makes it less unpalatable.

If five more friendly smokers join your new group, you may find yourself moving from neutral to engaged and begin smoking.

Normalisation has pros and cons.

Action Progress Reframe your thoughts

Selection Is Critical

Posted on November 9, 2020

Freedom of choice is a powerful thing. Selection is critical in choosing your health, your career, your partner, your income, your thoughts and actions.

Sometimes people don’t realise there are choices. Or they know but are so dismissive of all of their other known choices that they stick to only one. You select the input for your life. You decide which media you choose to follow and influence your thoughts and philosophy.

Just like a media outlet chooses which story goes up as the lead story, you choose the thoughts you want to focus on. The media outlet employees find the ideal picture to accompany their story and the angle they have selected to run with.

We often unconsciously go ahead with certain thoughts and actions because they feel good and are comforting. We call the same friends, read the same news and watch the same shows. Sometimes we need that. But to grow, we are better off mixing it up a little. Go learn something new or different. Become a bit uncomfortable. Select things you wouldn’t normally choose.

I do that a lot with news, views and foods. I have rarely had a bad experience and I always find out more about myself and the world.

Selection is critical. Be wise as you improve your environment.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

You Find What You Are Looking For

Posted on November 7, 2020

You can find good in a person. And you can find bad. Just like a coin, there are two sides. However, you find what you are looking for so step back and assess your search criteria.

If you only want to focus on one side of a coin, that is all you will ever see. You will not understand what the observers of the other side of the coin are referring to, if you never go and have a good look.

Now you may prefer the head of the coin for a number of reasons. Or you may prefer the tail. But just because you focus on one side only, doesn’t mean the other side doesn’t exist. And people may find value and joy in looking at the side which isn’t your preference. That doesn’t make looking at, or liking, the other side wrong. It just makes it different from your perspective.

It is simply diversity of thought. However, sometimes people want diversity as long as it is the same as their ideas. Being a true advocate of diversity often entails understanding ideas that you may not like or agree with. It depends if you are looking to understand someone’s preferences or looking for reasons why their point of view is inferior. Different doesn’t have to mean worse.

You find what you are looking for.

Action Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts Weight loss

Why It Is So Hard To Change

Posted on November 6, 2020

Common phrases like, “I keep trying”, “I can’t lose weight”, and “I’m not good enough”, hold people back. In part, this is why it is so hard to change.

When you want to change something in your life, you need to move from uncomfortable to unstoppable as quickly as you can. Part of the problem is wanting to have different results without doing things differently. Improvement usually requires a change in thoughts and actions. And these tend to make us uncomfortable, so we stop.

Think of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. It doesn’t stick a couple of wings on and fly off. It fully commits to its transformation. The caterpillar has to leave its old life behind to emerge into its new life. It is still the same ‘me’ once it is a butterfly. Though it is a different ‘me’ from before.

The butterfly has shifted from a creepy crawler to a beautiful, slim, flying machine. That is the power of the growth mindset – the will to grow into something magical and willing to leave their old life behind, never to return to it. I know it is uncomfortable at first when going through any change. However, as you shift your mindset and your body, the sooner you will be transformed.

Allow yourself to leave the the old you behind. Commit to the new you and fully embrace it.

Eliminate the number one reason why it is so hard to change.

Gratitude Health & Fitness Observe Reframe your thoughts

Learning To Chill

Posted on November 2, 2020

People can get very wound up and full of angst. It’s not good for them. There are so many reasons for it too. Learning to chill should be a full term course when you are 12 years old with some sort of reminder course at 16, 20 and every five years thereafter.

I can understand the angst and tension for liberal-leaning citizens. For example, in the UK, the Conservatives swept to power, Brexit will be done in two months, Trump won in 2016 and may win a second term and climate change issues are not getting much better. I’m not sure if there is much bothering the right-leaning citizens.

I suppose they both share a dislike of Covid as well.

One of my favourite techniques for relaxing is to sit quietly for a few minutes and remind myself how tough other generations have had it. Remember those that lived through WWI, the 1918 Pandemic, the Great Depression, WWII and the Cold War. They endured decades of uncertainty without the modern conveniences we have today. If they could do that, then we can get through whatever lies ahead for us.

Another way to relax is to turn off the news. Since when do you need to know about a German river bursting its banks? Or an Australian farmer’s cattle challenges? Tragic? Perhaps. Required knowledge? Doubtful.

Learning to chill is an art. Get artistic.

Progress Reframe your thoughts Weight

The Story Of My Life

Posted on October 31, 2020

What do you say about yourself? How do you describe your life in your bio? Make sure the ideas support the best you. The story of my life has got to be put in the best light. Not just for others, but for me! I need to see how well I have done from where I began.

Once you have understood what your story is, you may want to go about improving on it. I don’t mean with just some creative licence though. I mean get a plan together and work towards exciting goals. Write a biography for your life now. Keep it to four sentences or shorter.

Now write a biography of your life in five years from now. What other skills will you have? What exciting achievements will you have accomplished? Now, in order to go from here to there, you will need to make some changes.

You will need to give up the story of your life (the one you have) to create the story of your life (the one you want).

Like old clothes, you need to get rid of them occasionally. Move on from the story of your life. Freshen it up and get ready for new adventures. Focus on the new story you are creating. Visualise. Build it and it will come.

Keep making improvements. That is the story of my life.