CategoriesReframe your thoughtsThink About It

What Would Your Grandma Say?

In my youth I found that this was a good barometer of what would be acceptable for my thoughts and actions. “What would your Grandma say?”, was a phrase that I would run through my mind in situations that may have been pushing the boundaries.

The idea I created in my head went like this. I would imagine the scenario whereby my grandmother picked up the newspaper or turned on the news and there was a report about me, her grandson. The report would highlight what I had said, done, written etc. and paint it in both a balanced and then a biased way.

Then I would go visit my Grandma and have a conversation with her about it. If that whole idea of her finding out what I did, or my having to discuss it with her, made me uncomfortable, that was an indicator to stop before doing anything.

I was telling my son about this recently and suggesting that it might be a useful guide for him. Especially in this era of one strike and you’re out.

You may already have your own system that works for you. That life guide that keeps you from pushing the envelope too far.

If so, great!

However, if not, what would your Grandma say?

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Hoping But Not Happening

Hope is a very powerful and optimistic state of mind. However, despite its power it is not action or results. Hoping but not happening is an all too common situation for many, many people.

Sometimes people will use the word when they know they will not be making it happen. It’s as if their response has a silent ‘but’ underlying it. For example, if I ask one of my children if they can tidy their room before going to school, I may get the following reply. “I hope so”.

It’s a great reply. It’s optimistic and fills me with hope that it could happen. So the word is a feel-good filler. However, the child may have no intention of doing anything to tidy their room. This happens in a work setting too.

Hoping someone calls, is ok, or gets the job are all better than worrying about the opposite outcome. So in that sense, hope is a fantastic and positive word.

Hoping gets your mind thinking about the positive outcomes you would like to have in your life. The next step is to get curious and ask yourself what actions you could take to move those hopes and dreams into your reality.

When you take action, hoping but not happening will no longer be a part of your life.

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CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughts

Happy With Your Default Lens?

When we are conscious, we can choose to look at the world from different angles and through several different lenses. Are you happy with your default lens?

Usually we have a preferred, or default, lens that we see the world through. This lens can energise us, depress us, frustrate or inspire. It can help us to be hopeful, critical, cynical, fearful or resilient.

The wild thing about this lens is that, just like with a pair of glasses, you can change it. With a different prescription you will see things better or worse.

With the best lenses you can see with greater clarity, less effort and more enjoyment. If your glasses aren’t well prescribed, life can seem fuzzy, take more effort and you may have more headaches and frustration.

With the right lenses you can focus on the good in everyone. You can accept the imperfections and be grateful for seeing people strive to make life better. You might even be able to see what others are trying to do rather than project diabolical assumptions onto them.

Most people want a better life for themselves, their loved ones and the world. Usually it is in that order. They may see a different route than you to achieve that. Encourage people while they improve rather than try to destroy them because you think you could live their life better.

Are you happy with your default lens?

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CategoriesHealth & FitnessReframe your thoughts

The Case For Cold Showers

Just the thought of a cool, cold or icy shower can set people shivering. But the upside can be worthwhile. The case for cold showers can be made more easily than actually taking them.

The cold shower can increase mental fortitude. The relative shock to your system can awaken your spirits and nerve endings. The tingling of being incredibly alive is instantaneous. In addition, that sensation can stay with you for hours and the memory of it even longer.

Not only does the experience alert your body to the day ahead, you’ll feel dynamic and heroic for seeing it through.

And for you conservationists out there, you might gladly shut off the water to soap up. The break can be greatly appreciated in the early days of testing the waters on this theory. As you build stamina and resilience and, dare I say, grow to enjoy the experience, you will not need the break.

Having a few choice motivational chants, words or phrases on the tip of your tongue might be useful too. Furthermore, resolving to complete the shower at the lower temperature is a good way to start.

Moving from uncomfortable to unstoppable in your life is not easy. However this is one step you can try at home and further build your mental strength. That is the case for cold showers.

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CategoriesReframe your thoughts

What Does Awesome Look Like?

Have you been drifting along without inspiration? Ever feel like you want to move forward but can’t? Ask yourself, “What does awesome look like?”. Whether you think it is attainable or not, is not the issue. Just start musing and mulling over the question.

One reason people drift along directionless for a short, or a long time, is lack of an inspiring vision. Let yourself dream. Open up your mind to amazing possibilities. Brainstorm. Let all thoughts be allowed.

Sometimes we shut out our real dreams and transforming visions because we don’t think we can get there. Or we don’t deserve it. Sometimes we will think it is silly to consider it, want it or believe we could make it happen.

Put all of that to the side for the moment. It is not about you and what you can have or do. It is about this one simple question. What does awesome look like?

Let your mind consider the exciting possibilities. A bit like watching a fantastic movie. Or maybe flipping through a favourite magazine or your Instagram feed.

Whatever inspires you with excitement and wonderful possibilities is what you need to allow in.

Once you find out what awesome looks like for you, and you’ve settled on it, make it yours. Start taking some steps toward making this exciting vision become your reality. You will drift along directionless no more!

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CategoriesActionObserveReframe your thoughtsVideo

How Bad Do You Want It?

Most things are a passing fancy. We talk about our wants and all those nice to haves. The question is though, “How bad do you want it?”.

I know when I want something bad enough now. I watch what I do. And that is how you know if someone else has an item as their #1 priority. Do not listen to what they say. Simply watch what they do. Success leaves clues and a trail of debris – like sawdust.

There may be emotional or logical reasons why you aren’t doing what you say you want. But they are still reasons and not results. You choose to get distracted. The person accountable for your life is that person staring back at you in the mirror.

I am grateful that my friend Eric sent me the attached video about 5 years ago. Since then, I have watched it many times. I get very pumped up when I see it. It has some hard hitting truths in it. It reminds me whether I want something bad enough. Am I making the effort of a champion? Can I do better than this if I played my A game?

If you think you’re trying and not getting the results you want, watch this video. In less than 15 minutes, you will have the answer to the question, “How bad do you want it?”.

Pain is temporary. Massive action not words.
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CategoriesActionProgressReframe your thoughtsTime

Wake Up To Awesome!

It gets easier to do anything that you practice and want to improve. So from now on, always wake up to awesome! Since you can choose to wake up and feel awesome every morning, why wouldn’t you?

Of course there are some exceptions. For example, if you are not used to waking up thinking it can be an awesome day, it is hard to think that it will be. But you have a choice. It may not be easy in the beginning – few things usually are.

However, we can continue to press on and improve ourselves in areas we wish to. And of all the areas we could improve, one might consider the first 6 to 60 minutes of the day would be quite important. It starts you off positive and keeps the day framed in a positive glow.

And it doesn’t need to take too long either. You can do Hal Elrod’s Miracle Morning in 6 minutes. If you can’t find 6 minutes at the start of your everyday…. Well, I just won’t believe you really want it bad enough. Send me an email and I will help you. It won’t even cost you anything.

So remember the following:

Tomorrow, and everyday day hereafter, you are going to wake up to awesome!

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CategoriesActionProgressReframe your thoughts

Remove All Non-Essentials

Empty drawers, cupboards and boxes from your house. Let others use those items you no longer have a reasonable use for. Remove all non-essentials. Don’t leave it for your kids to sort through when you are ill or pass away.

If you declutter your space, you will also declutter your mind. The more things you have, the more time you spend on maintaining those things. For that trade off to make sense, those things must bring you large amounts of joy.

Otherwise, you will be trading your very precious time for ‘meh’. What kind of life is that?

The best thing to do is to stop bringing new-to-you things into the house. I had a bad habit of collecting newspapers and magazines many years ago. With the exception of a slight retest of my discipline a year ago, I have been on the wagon for several years. This has kept piles of paper at bay.

Next, whatever you deem worthy and does make it through the front door (back door or even windows – I know you’re crafty), needs to be put in its official place immediately. If you can’t find a place, you are not serious about it and it must be returned or given away immediately.

Finally, remove all non-essentials. Once a month, get rid of a few things off your shelves, out of bookcases and boxes. In six months, you can send me a thank you letter.

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Look Where It Should Be First

When looking for files, phone numbers, keys, glasses or information, look where it should be first. It might be there. If it isn’t, make a note of where you thought it should be. Then, when you find it, put it where it should be. Then you’ll find it easier next time.

Sometimes I’ll start looking where I think I saw the item last. Other times I head for where somebody says they saw it (or they think they did). Boy do we laugh when I find the item in the eighth place I look. This would have been the first place if I had simply ignored all other impulses and input.

Do you ever do that with general information? Ever casually wish you knew the answer to a question or had more information about a subject? Despite some of the most used phrases being, ‘Google it’ and, ‘Check the net’, sometimes I just don’t.

Occasionally I assume the topic is too difficult to search. Or even that no one would have searched this before. And I might even wonder if maybe there just won’t be any information on the topic.

However, I‘ve always been pleasantly surprised at how easy, predictive and plentiful the searches and results have been. So I search everything now.

So whether it is physical or theoretical, look where it should be first.

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Put Things Back Where They Belong

Ah, yes. How much time would this save people during their lifetime? If everyone put things back where they belong, life would be a little easier.

How many tense minutes have you lost over the years trying to find things? Sometimes it’s the car keys and sometimes people forget where they put their phone or their credit card. Glasses and sunglasses are another crowd favourite.

And don’t get me started on the number of times people forget where they put their drink. Of course the bottles, cans and glasses that are half full are always found by the host during clean up when everyone has left.

Poor filing, either online or in traditional filing cabinets can be a major source of wasted time. This is particularly true for those still using a plastic bag, drawer or corner of their desk or bedroom floor for filing their critical documents.

I’ve become mildly obsessed over the years with returning things to “their spot”. I believe it is ideal that everything has its proper or best place. Then that thing should be returned there immediately after using it.

Do not place it anywhere else, even just for a minute. It has the potential to languish there in that new, unfamiliar spot.

Put things back where they belong. This is a key path to happiness, success and calm.

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