Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 94 of 103

Remove All Non-Essentials

Posted on August 14, 2020

Empty drawers, cupboards and boxes from your house. Let others use those items you no longer have a reasonable use for. Remove all non-essentials. Don’t leave it for your kids to sort through when you are ill or pass away.

If you declutter your space, you will also declutter your mind. The more things you have, the more time you spend on maintaining those things. For that trade off to make sense, those things must bring you large amounts of joy.

Otherwise, you will be trading your very precious time for ‘meh’. What kind of life is that?

The best thing to do is to stop bringing new-to-you things into the house. I had a bad habit of collecting newspapers and magazines many years ago. With the exception of a slight retest of my discipline a year ago, I have been on the wagon for several years. This has kept piles of paper at bay.

Next, whatever you deem worthy and does make it through the front door (back door or even windows – I know you’re crafty), needs to be put in its official place immediately. If you can’t find a place, you are not serious about it and it must be returned or given away immediately.

Finally, remove all non-essentials. Once a month, get rid of a few things off your shelves, out of bookcases and boxes. In six months, you can send me a thank you letter.

Action Reframe your thoughts

Look Where It Should Be First

Posted on August 10, 2020

When looking for files, phone numbers, keys, glasses or information, look where it should be first. It might be there. If it isn’t, make a note of where you thought it should be. Then, when you find it, put it where it should be. Then you’ll find it easier next time.

Sometimes I’ll start looking where I think I saw the item last. Other times I head for where somebody says they saw it (or they think they did). Boy do we laugh when I find the item in the eighth place I look. This would have been the first place if I had simply ignored all other impulses and input.

Do you ever do that with general information? Ever casually wish you knew the answer to a question or had more information about a subject? Despite some of the most used phrases being, ‘Google it’ and, ‘Check the net’, sometimes I just don’t.

Occasionally I assume the topic is too difficult to search. Or even that no one would have searched this before. And I might even wonder if maybe there just won’t be any information on the topic.

However, I‘ve always been pleasantly surprised at how easy, predictive and plentiful the searches and results have been. So I search everything now.

So whether it is physical or theoretical, look where it should be first.

Action Reframe your thoughts

Put Things Back Where They Belong

Posted on August 9, 2020

Ah, yes. How much time would this save people during their lifetime? If everyone put things back where they belong, life would be a little easier.

How many tense minutes have you lost over the years trying to find things? Sometimes it’s the car keys and sometimes people forget where they put their phone or their credit card. Glasses and sunglasses are another crowd favourite.

And don’t get me started on the number of times people forget where they put their drink. Of course the bottles, cans and glasses that are half full are always found by the host during clean up when everyone has left.

Poor filing, either online or in traditional filing cabinets can be a major source of wasted time. This is particularly true for those still using a plastic bag, drawer or corner of their desk or bedroom floor for filing their critical documents.

I’ve become mildly obsessed over the years with returning things to “their spot”. I believe it is ideal that everything has its proper or best place. Then that thing should be returned there immediately after using it.

Do not place it anywhere else, even just for a minute. It has the potential to languish there in that new, unfamiliar spot.

Put things back where they belong. This is a key path to happiness, success and calm.

Action Reframe your thoughts

Breaking Free Of Yourself And Others

Posted on August 6, 2020

Recently I wrote about holding ourselves back by not, ‘becoming one of them’. Our tribes don’t want that either. Breaking free of yourself and others is critical but also quite difficult.

You may have heard of ‘Crab Mentality’ or ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’ or ‘Law of Jante’. These are all quite similar. They refer to a certain cultural phenomenon around the world. It’s called different things in different countries. Click on the coloured text above to find out more.

Essentially, people don’t like others leaving their group. They certainly get more anxious if the person leaving is joining a better group from their perspective. People tend to have a difficulty with this.

Sometimes it is as simple as they like you and don’t want to see you less. But sometimes it can be more sinister than that. Sometimes people can be spiteful because they don’t want you to get ahead of them in life. This seems to be particularly true when it comes to others succeeding in a career or earning more money.

Certainly try not to be the type of person to hold onto others in your group. This is important if they are doing better for themselves. Congratulate them and wish them well. Karma will then be on your side.

Breaking free of yourself and others is not easy. And if someone tries to hold you back? Run away!

Action Reframe your thoughts

Let Children Be Bored

Posted on August 5, 2020

For many, this might seem counter-intuitive. What about planning and preparing their whole day? If you let children be bored, they will come out the other side of it with a new perspective.

Yes, there may be some whining or complaining for a little bit. However, they will get through that phase and you will too. Be patient.

Children that are bored eventually find something to do. This is often helped if you give some casual suggestions like, ‘read a book‘, ‘build a website‘, or ‘fold these clothes’.

The sooner they learn how to figure out ‘what’s next?’, the sooner they will further develop their independence. Sure there may be some tense moments as you both work through the uncertain and uncomfortable challenges. Though the beauty is on the other side of the chrysalis.

Often, when we are bored, we find out what we really enjoy doing. We will also appreciate things a lot more. We pull out books, toys, and games that we forgot we had. Kids will find the magic that they had forgotten. In addition, they have the satisfaction of setting their own agenda.

So if you want to see greater confidence and independence in your child, let them be bored. You will appreciate it someday and so will your kids.

Action Reframe your thoughts

Never Miss A Day

Posted on August 3, 2020

So you really want to change your life. Well today will be the day that turns your whole life around. Today you will decide, commit and never miss a day.

That’s the secret to success.

You can make it more complicated. Sure there are many, many other factors you could consider. You could note the leader of the day isn’t your cup of tea. A person could cite transnational agreements and changes in the local laws.

However, it comes down to reasons or results.

Which one will you focus on? I suggest you spend your time planting seeds and taking care of them every day. Do everything the successful growers of those seeds say to do. You can listen to people with opinions and no results, if you wish. But don’t be surprised if you get similar results.

Maybe you want to run faster, lose weight, inhale only air, start a business, get a promotion or change jobs. If so, you need to decide and commit to it. You need to plan out the days, weeks and months ahead. Have a vision and a plan. Then take action and the results will appear.

Then you will need to execute and never miss a day!

207 daily blog posts in a row and I have not missed a day yet. Share this post with someone who is committed, likes thinking or is making changes in their life.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Parenting Predicts People’s Personality

Posted on August 2, 2020

If you would like to know how someone will be in 20 or 40 years, look at their parents. Parenting predicts people’s personality so the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Whether we like it or not, parenting is a glimpse into the past and the future. If you would like to see how your future partner might be, observe their parents. If you are curious about what your kids might be like when they grow up, look very closely at your personality and what you model in front of them.

Observe your parents more, if you want to really start understanding yourself. Listen to their words, focus and challenges. Review your life and see which personality traits are more like your Mom‘s or your Dad‘s. Are they their good traits or the one’s you are not so fond of?

Sometimes it’s easier to see your own traits (especially any negative ones) in someone else first.

If you are not fond of any of the traits you’ve picked up over the years, you can change them. It’s rarely easy but always possible. Best time to train your brain out of some of those habits is before you have children. Second best time to do it is right now.

If parenting predicts people’s personality, assess yours today and make any desired changes now.

Action Reframe your thoughts Time

Everything Starts With A Decision

Posted on August 1, 2020

If you want your life to be different, you need to check off a few decisions. You know which ones. Everything starts with a decision so it’s time to get started.

What decisions have you been putting off? Let’s get into those topics and understand them better. You may even discover a few helpful things about yourself in the process.

Are you avoiding a decision? Have you said you would think about it and then promptly ignored it? What is it that is holding you back from making the decision and diving in?

Someone has to make a decision and if you don’t, someone else will. Don’t wait until the choice is no longer yours. Get determined. Become selfish, in a good way, by putting your needs ahead of all the other people and ideas rolling around in your head.

Stand up straight. Say what you want. Make the decision to go for it. Commit to it and move forward by taking the very next step right now. It will feel so good! It may be a little scary, uncomfortable or anxiety-inducing. However, remain calm and keep going.

Everything starts with a decision. Start making a few and get on with your new life today.

Do it now!

Action Financial Observe Reframe your thoughts

Becoming A Billionaire

Posted on July 30, 2020

Now, you may be the type that is curious as to how to do it or seething that becoming a billionaire is even allowed. Either way, or somewhere in between, it seems everyone has a view on billionaires.

Your reaction to the idea of a billionaire will say a lot about you and your relationship with money. That may or may not be a good thing. You will have to think it through. Be brutally honest about how money makes you feel.

There are generally two roads you can take if you are intent on becoming a billionaire. The first is to have the money given to you. This can be from inheritance, divorce, donation, charity or a very good friend. Alternatively, you can earn the money through providing a product or service for a very large number of people (c. 87% of billionaires).

Bill Gates sold software. Many estimates suggest that there are over one billion PC’s running a version of Windows. If it cost $100 each to have that software on the PC’s, the company’s revenues would be $100 billion from that one software alone. Not only has he provided a valuable service to many people, hundreds of thousands of people have earned their livelihood with his company.

I’ve willingly given more than $100 to Microsoft, from which Mr Gates has benefitted. It has definitely been worth it and then some.

Reframe your thoughts

An Ad Hominem Reply

Posted on July 28, 2020

If you are going to have a discussion, the focus should be on the content. Unfortunately far too many people today use an ad hominem reply. That is to say, they attack the character of the person rather than try to understand or discuss the other person’s point of view.

Unfortunately this is a weak debating tool or tactic. It may be effective in the immediate term but it rarely advances any cause.

When someone uses an ad hominem reply, I tend to think less of that person. I will also give extra weight to the other person’s perspective. By sticking to the detail of the discussion point, the focused debater sounds more intelligent and becomes more persuasive.

Not everyone sees it that way.

Sometimes people will ‘pile on’ and cheer the negative personal attacks. They may even add their own insult or character challenge.

One may feel better in the moment for attacking someone this way but it is not helping to further discussions. Be mindful not to fall into this trap.

You are better than this.

If you do not agree with someone’s opinion, you can try to understand it by asking curious questions, not sarcastic ones. You can also simply let them have their opinion. Finally, you could politely explain why you hold a different opinion and then leave it there.