Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 97 of 111

Superstitions

Posted on November 22, 2020

Last week it was Friday the 13th. In 2020, for that matter. Did you approach that day any differently than others? What are superstitions and why are they so super?

A definition from Wikipedia is, “a belief or practice resulting from ignorance, fear of the unknown, trust in magic or chance, or a false conception of causation”. In addition, it says, “an irrational abject attitude of mind toward the supernatural, nature, or God resulting from superstition.”

That doesn’t sound so super. It actually seems a little dismissive and belittling. This is interesting because so many people believe in certain superstitions, even if it is just a little bit. These ideas usually involve luck or prophecy. Generally they mean doing something for another thing to happen.

Actions you might do to try to impact a particular outcome are: cross your fingers, toes or legs, pray, or arrange your house according to Feng Shui. Some people will also carry a lucky charm, wish upon a star or not shave for days. Another popular idea is to have a lucky number, shirt or hat.

It can be easy to laugh at people with superstitions. Yet, we often overlook our own little desire to influence the universe, in our favour, when we seek higher force intervention.

Just because you don’t understand something, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or isn’t relevant. Without a little irrational thinking we might not have electricity, mobile phones or heart surgery.

Perhaps superstitions are super in some way.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Start With ‘That’s Wonderful!’

Posted on November 21, 2020

When a person does something well, try not to top them or criticise. Start with, ‘That’s Wonderful!’. Then maybe ask them how it felt and what was their favourite part.

It is not always easy to be gracious, especially after a loss. But to see good examples of how it is done, we can look to the sporting world. It is very common now to see interviews after a match. Usually someone from the losing side will be asked how it went.

They acknowledge how the they did and that they need to work on some things. They often cite the other side and note how well some individuals played or their whole team in general. It is very sportsmanlike to make these comments. Gracious in defeat.

The winning team also makes comments and they are usually restrained and fairly objective. They too usually reference the other side. Most of the time these comments are appropriate and supportive in their defeat. Many times they note how well the others played and some particularly good aspects of their game.

More people should take note of these post game interviews. Especially politicians. Politicians need to remember we are not enemies. And not really opponents. Both sides want the best. They want peace and prosperity. Health and education.

More of them should start with, ‘That’s wonderful!’, when they do well, rather than find something to criticise.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Here Is What You Are Going To Realise

Posted on November 20, 2020

Life is long but short. Time can fly and it can crawl. You will get older. At some point in your life, here is what you are going to realise.

There are few things you can control. And yet, you control everything about your life. If you don’t make the little sacrifices now, you will need to make larger ones later on. You will be passing the baton at some point in time. Unfortunately, you do not know when that moment will be or who it will be to.

I think we also realise that we could have done more with our time on this planet. Not just more for ourselves, but more for other people too. The crazy thing is that we wouldn’t have to do massive amounts more, just a little bit more from each of us.

You will leave a legacy, whether you believe it or not. Not everyone will have the same view but that is ok. Some will love things you have done and others will hardly have noticed. Still others will not like what you have done or how you did it. Take no notice of the critics. Positive feedback is one thing but generalised criticism is unworthy of your good intentions.

Here is what you are going to realise. No one wins. Just enjoy your ride.

Action Financial Reframe your thoughts Weight loss

Making Adjustments In Our Life

Posted on November 19, 2020

Conscious changes can be difficult to make. Not all of them of course. But making adjustments in our life can be quite difficult and mentally challenging.

A few examples of things many people try to do, and often struggle with and stop are, losing weight, quitting smoking, drinking less, waking up early, meditating, exercising, saving and finding a better job. There is a formula for each one of these, though few people want to follow it.

Often people want to do it their own way. Or they will adjust the body and not the mind. You can simply quit smoking, but if you still see yourself (your self image) as a smoker, you are very likely to pick up the habit again.

Changes that happen naturally are sometimes easier to accept. Examples are growing up, ageing and progressing through primary school. So try to make things happen naturally or set up your environment so it feels natural.

Remember to modify your self image so you can accept the changes before or while they are happening. For example, immerse yourself in the daily thought that you are an early morning person and soon you will find waking up early is a breeze. Set up your environment to assist with this with a good wake up system and earlier bedtime.

Making adjustments in our life is worthwhile and easier than we want to acknowledge.

Action Reframe your thoughts

Stand Your Ground

Posted on November 18, 2020

Life can be difficult. Challenges can be overwhelming. Self-doubt can creep in and undermine your convictions. You must stand your ground for your beliefs. Don’t fall victim to the peer pressure or perceived expectations.

“This is for the ones who stood their ground”
Bon Jovi

I have a few favourite songs that are great power anthems for the mind in times of adversity or uncertainty. One of them is Bon Jovi‘s It’s my life. It’s a fabulous song to get enthusiasm flowing and determination locked in.

Sometimes you need that extra oomph to propel you over the line. It will remind you that you’ve got to fight on for what you want and believe in. You can feel the power of the crowd behind you, even if the world seems to be against you.

The song conjures up images of people who decided to fight, or push back, despite cultural norms or expectations. People like Rosa Parks on the bus, Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War, or Tank Man in Tiananmen Square.

It is also a fantastic driving song. Especially at night, in the summer, on smaller roads, with the top down. But watch that speedometer.

“You better stand tall when they’re calling you out. Don’t bend, don’t break, baby, don’t back down”
Bon Jovi

You won’t always be vindicated but sometimes you just need to stand your ground.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

You’re Not Wrong

Posted on November 16, 2020

Or are you right? They may sound like the same thing but often enough they are not. If you guessed they were though, you’re not wrong.

I’ve always found this phrase a strange one. If I am not wrong, doesn’t that mean I am right? On the surface the answer might be yes. Though sometimes people have one or two other options which they believe to be correct or more right than your view. So those options would be more right than your position. This is a possibility.

Alternatively, you could simply be right. By that, I also mean the most right. However, the person responding to you might have a negative frame of mind and therefore responds to things with a more negative angle.

Sometimes though, the person just does not like to admit they are wrong. Or even worse, for some, is to acknowledge that you are right! One way to check what they mean is to ask them, ‘Does that mean I am right?’. Sometimes their reaction to that question is the best bit regardless of what their answer is. In my experience of asking the question, I have noticed it really gets people to stop and think.

Enjoy those times when ‘you’re not wrong’ means ‘you‘re right’!

Action Progress Reframe your thoughts Time

You Need A Full Court Press

Posted on November 14, 2020

Sitting back and waiting for things to happen is not always a good strategy. Sometimes you need a full court press. It’s an extreme defensive strategy used in basketball, which can be seen as a form of intense offensive strategy.

Sometimes you just need to be patient. For example, with a pregnancy, despite any anxiousness, it is generally best to be patient and breathe well. For other things, like buying concert tickets or a property, it can pay off if you continually press things forward.

This is where I like to use the full court press term and analogy. In our experience, people have a specific pace to get things done. When you combine that with other people and their pace, it tends to mean things move at the slowest pace in the group.

Unfortunately, this is not always ideal. This is because there will be times that you have a property opportunity that could disappear if you are not quick. Many people say that it takes months to complete on a property transaction. While that may be true, if you are patient and let the process run at their pace, if you get engaged, you can complete in a few weeks.

The key considerations are next steps, planning and communication.

Then you need a full court press and to continuously move everyone forward each day.

Action Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts

Learning While Teaching

Posted on November 13, 2020

Learning something is good. Being able to convey that knowledge to someone else is brilliant. Learning while teaching a skill or subject is possibly the highest form of engaged interaction.

I’ve heard good teachers, speakers and sports personalities refer to how much they learn while sharing their knowledge or skill. It is an interesting aspect of life. By giving someone the benefit of our experience, knowledge or skill, not only will they gain, but we gain as well.

However, we may only gain if we are paying attention and open to learning. If we assume we are only providing information, we may miss the opportunity to receive feedback loops of learning.

It takes a certain skill to transfer knowledge from yourself to someone else. Not everyone is good at it, though it can be learned. Though while you are transferring that knowledge, you can also reassess how you learned, understood or integrated that knowledge. During this process, you may look at things in a new light. Perhaps new experiences, thoughts or information will impact your perception and adjust your mindset.

Although it can be quite difficult to be confronted with new points of view, it is beneficial to grasp those moments. If there was only one best way and one right answer, we would all know it by now.

Learning while teaching is a worthwhile skill to develop.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Normalisation Has Pros And Cons

Posted on November 10, 2020

Normal and normalising sound like good words to me. However, they have a darker side that receives less attention. Normalisation has pros and cons and you are better prepared if you know some of them.

Normal sounds regular, acceptable, average and uncontroversial. It has a nice sound to it. For example, ‘She seems fairly normal’, or, ‘We need to normalise relations with them’ have a positive tone to them.

Although it does depend on what you deem acceptable for normal and what you are comfortable with. Is smoking normal? If you ask a group of smokers, the answer is more likely to be yes. For fresh air advocates, rolling up dried leaves, setting it on fire and inhaling it may not seem normal.

So perhaps we note that you hold the belief that smoking is not normal or desirable. However, you might meet someone interesting and later on find out they smoke. Gradually, through numerous interactions with the person, you may start to normalise smoking. Your graduated exposure to smoking and the brand enhancement it receives being associated to a likeable person makes it less unpalatable.

If five more friendly smokers join your new group, you may find yourself moving from neutral to engaged and begin smoking.

Normalisation has pros and cons.