Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 98 of 103

How Can I Do What I Want And Have A Different Life?

Posted on May 6, 2020

This is the unspoken question many people have in their subconscious when they are embarking on some change. How can I do what I want and have a different life? This idea, whether conscious or not, is certainly more likely to be felt if the activities for change are not something you want to do.

I want the new job, higher pay and fancier title. How do I get that without having to update my cv, look for a job, tell anyone, do more work than I am now or work any harder or have to learn new skills?

Can I please stay the way I am, with my habits and my own way of being? Can I do that and have everything else that I want? The short answer is no.

The next time you think to yourself, “How can I do what I want and have a different life?”, remember, you can’t. You must take the bull be the horns and ride it. Success leaves clues….

“Success leaves clues. Be a better observer of the winners and the losers, those who are doing well and those who are falling behind. Take mental notes and say: ‘I’m going to adjust what I’m doing based on what I see’”
Jim Rohn

Just be aware of what you are observing. Is it the best example to follow? Or, at least, is it better than what you currently follow? If it is, go ahead, use that until you find something better. If it isn’t, even if it is your Mum, Dad or local clergy, do not follow their lead. Find an example that leads you to the results that you want in your life. Then you need to put in the work!

Reframe your thoughts

Ask Powerful Questions

Posted on May 5, 2020

Ask, “Where do I want to be?”, not “Where will I end up?”. When you ask powerful questions, you are more likely to get empowering answers.

“Where do I want to be?”, is a question which implies control, desire and passion. It suggests possibility. The question asks you to open your mind and dream, to consider all the limitless possibilities. It allows you to be honest with yourself.

If you feel yourself holding back, shrinking, feeling unworthy, uneasy or in any way uncomfortable, then press on! Give yourself permission to explore those thoughts that you think may be out of reach for you. Practice taking your mind to the edge of uncomfortable and driving right on through.

If you’re feeling anxious, reframe that feeling to excitement. Same feeling in your body, but use a more powerful word to describe it. Get your mind on top of it and surf the wave of uncertainty. Stop letting yourself get dragged under water in the undertow. Be determined and fight for control of your own mind and the thoughts you allow it to think.

“Where will I end up?”, is a question that implies no control, no vision and no effort. It is as if you are drifting along in a predetermined river. Well, you are not a fish. Get up and go find yourself a better river, cleaner lake or large ocean where your opportunities are better.

Ask better questions of yourself. Ask powerful questions that bring you face to face with your fears and dreams. Press on through from uncomfortable to unstoppable.

If you do, you will be able to achieve anything.

Action Reframe your thoughts

How I Built A Habit In 1 Moment And You Can Too

Posted on April 28, 2020

I’ve done it a couple of times in the last 12 months so I know it works. Some might say this is backed by science and critics will criticise. Either way, this is how I built a habit in 1 moment and you can too.

To build a habit you must commit to it and make it a ‘must’ in your life. It is that simple.

Here are my proof points.

From the moment I moved house last summer, I committed to going to my wonderful new home every time I left it. I did not go to my old house every day for two months, even though it was only 700 meters away.
At New Year 2018, I decided to train and run two marathons in the spring of 2019. I trained daily and completed both in decent times.
Writing this daily blog. I committed, made it a must, and this is my 110th daily blog in a row. It was automatic from the moment I decided it was a must in my life and I had committed to it.

In James Clear‘s blog post, “How long does it actually take to form a new habit”, he notes two key things of extra interest to me. The first is when he references a study of 96 people which finds it takes exactly 66 days before a new behaviour becomes automatic. The second item of interest was the following quote.

“You have to embrace the process. You have to commit to the system.”
James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits

To me, his quote is more powerful than the small study and countless other studies like it.

I believe habits develop as quickly as you want them to. The more you make it a must, the more likely it will be automatic from day one. For example, how often did you turn up to your old job, or classroom, after the first day at the new one?

Tony Robbins sums it up quite nicely in his quote below.

“The difference between ‘must’ and ‘should’ is the life you want and the life you have.” When something is a must, you find a way.
Tony Robbins

I think people are amazing and can create new habits pretty quickly when determined to do so. Decide it is a must and commit.

This is how I built a habit in 1 moment and you can too.

[NB: This is dedicated to my Nana who was told in her 40’s to quit smoking or never see her grandchildren grow up. She never touched another one and, gratefully, I was almost 30 when she passed.]

Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts

Life Is Simple

Posted on April 26, 2020

At a basic level we need to eat, drink, sleep and have adequate shelter. There may be a few other essentials but at its core, life is simple.

Then we humans add complexity of wants and communication. I often consider Maslow’s hierarchy of needs at this point. Some people like it and other people challenge it. I learned about it at University and I find it is a useful theory to reference, at least as a starting point.

When left to their own interest, people can imagine incredible, fanciful and wholly unnecessary wants. I was going to list a few items, like a plastic dancing flower, but there are always a few people who will claim it is a need.

One thing a pandemic lockdown and/or looming recession can reveal is the true meaning of a want and a need. It is in these moments in time where we can see what is essential. I find it interesting and useful to remember how little we probably need to have tremendous joy in our lives. Sometimes all the physical distractions can get in the way.

Communication is the other area of complexity in our otherwise simple lives. Over the years I’ve become an ever more keen student of words and their use. I am fascinated how quickly something can be said, heard and processed, and then restated, often with bias or misunderstanding.

This moment in time has reminded me that life is simple. Spending time with my wife and children, sometimes exercising together, playing cards or just chatting. We often add so many layers of unnecessary complexity which can deny us the simple pleasure of life. Peel back a few layers, remove the distractions, and remember, life is simple.

Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Assess Both Ends Of The Spectrum

Posted on April 23, 2020

When thinking about a topic, I believe it is very important to assess both ends of the spectrum. That is to say, I like to see how the extremes behave.

Here is a spectrum with an asterisk at each end to note both extremes.

*————————————*

It is quite easy to simply sit somewhere along that spectrum and believe you have the best position. This is made even easier when you read your favourite paper or watch your favourite media channel. The reason for this is that the media company and journalist are keen to influence you. Remember, they are professionals at ensuring you are engaged and will come back.

When consuming content next time, try taking the topic and thinking about what people across the spectrum, and at the extremes, are thinking or doing. It’s a great way to expand the way you think. Especially if you consume media from a source that challenges your view.

I try to remember that the spectrum I see may actually go further at one or both ends. It is simply the spectrum of options that I am aware of, not that necessarily exist. Sometimes we have to push ourselves into some uncomfortable thoughts to truly see and assess both ends of the spectrum.

I find knowing what the extremes are for a topic makes it easier to understand, debate and find common ground for it.

In addition, if you know the extremes, you may find you have a lot more in common with other people, relative to where they could sit on the spectrum.

Action Reframe your thoughts

Whatever It Takes

Posted on April 19, 2020

When was the last time you had your back to the wall? Did you come out fighting? Would you do whatever it takes? I think we are seeing more of this way of thinking every day during our lockdown.

Front line and essential workers are doing it. Manufacturers are too, by switching to make essential items. Massive shifts are happening everywhere for individuals at home and at work.

Two great and inspiring rallying cries are, ‘Whatever it takes’ and ‘Bring it on’. Keep these phrases in your mind as you decide you need to overcome the difficult situations ahead of you. Scrunching up your face and clenching a fist in a bit of a rebel yell pose helps when you utter these phrases.

Like many sports, our U13s rugby season, where I am one of the coaches, was cut short. However, the London Scottish club suggested we host our End of Season Awards online. So we did that today.

Everyone had a bit of a, ‘whatever it takes’ few days as final arrangements were organised, links were checked and sent out, operational discussions had, awards shortlists were developed, discussed and decided and then call structure and full content were created.

Use these phrases in the days, weeks and months, or even years, ahead. It is always good to have some raw power words at your disposal.

We were certainly in ‘whatever it takes mode’ as we raced against the clock ensuring all the final pieces of the puzzle came together, including getting the players on the call. It turned out really well from my perspective, and from the feedback of others. Which is great for all the boys. We wanted them to have a good end of season, or the best we could, given the circumstances.

Reframe your thoughts Time

Do What Brings Joy.

Posted on April 18, 2020

There is a lot you can do in this world but the most important thing you should consider is to do what brings joy. Life is short and it can take a long time to realise that. Spend the bulk of your life doing things that light you up like a thousand fireflies.

If your child likes a sport during one term or year, and not the next, don’t be concerned. Be happy that they are becoming self-aware and can acknowledge what they do and don’t enjoy. Of course there can be a myriad of other reasons why someone might start or stop an activity. However, regardless of the reason, when they don’t want to go, sometimes it’s best to let go.

It is the same for adults. Let go of those things you aren’t enjoying. Find better activities or thoughts that you can allow into your life. As Steve Jobs mentions in the brief address below, if you don’t like doing something for too many days in a row, it is time to change.

When deciding what to do next in your life, do what brings joy. You’ll be happier doing it, happier in general and those around you will appreciate it too.

Do what brings joy.
(Brilliant 15 min speech)

Action Gratitude Reframe your thoughts

Waste Not, Want Not

Posted on April 17, 2020

I eat what is on my plate, so I don’t take more than I’ll comfortably eat. Waste not, want not is a phrase that I reflect on frequently. I really don’t like to waste resources, whether it’s food, financial, energy or products.

Having grown up on a farm, I am clear how much energy and resource is used to create milk and then get it to your fridge. The amount of tractor fuel required to cut, rake, bale and transport hay to a barn for storage is significant. There is also an amount of energy consumed in running a barn, such as lights, milkers and gutter cleaner.

We would then have a milk truck collect the milk and bring it to the factory. Here it would be processed and packaged and shipped to a store near you. You can then simply pick the milk off the shelf, take it home and pop it in the fridge.

I have seen people then drink some but not all of it. If it then sits out and gets a bit warm, some people will throw it down the sink. I find that tragic, as I know how much has gone into getting that milk there in the first place. It seems like a complete waste of our earth’s resources. I would rather drink it, chill it in the fridge again before consuming it or use it some other way.

I think like this for all resources. Whether it is using all the toothpaste in a tube or all the ink in a pen, it makes good environmental sense.

Waste not, want not, is a proverbial saying that was first noted in 1772.

Perhaps these unusual times will encourage us to be more appreciative of each resource we have and use it more efficiently.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Seeing Things Without Vision

Posted on April 16, 2020

People tend to have an interpretation of things and they usually have an opinion on them too. I do. Seeing things without vision, because of myopia, is unfortunate and so easily improved with a little practice.

Some people aren’t able to see differently, and others choose not to. I enjoy discussing subjects with anyone who can offer an interesting angle and has put some thought behind it. I may challenge the points, and even disagree in the end, but it is worth the discussion to expand my realm of thinking.

Recently, I’ve been quoting a saying about hammers and nails around the house more frequently. It summarises my thought on why it is easy for people to be seeing things without vision. It is also difficult, without practice, to see from a different perspective to the one that popped into your mind first.

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.
Abraham Maslow

I love a curious mind. One that is willing to challenge their own thoughts and programming. I challenge my own thoughts frequently and try to learn why, when and because of whom, that I think certain thoughts. It can be difficult to stop, think and enquire, but it is a great exercise to get to know yourself better.

Action Reframe your thoughts

Reading For Pleasure Or Knowledge?

Posted on April 13, 2020

What are you reading? Why are you reading it? Reading is an investment in time and yourself. Are you reading for pleasure or knowledge or both? I often find I am reading for both. Though that wasn’t always the case.

When I was 12-ish, I don’t recall reading much outside of school requirements. Contrast that with today where I read a lot. I am a consumer of knowledge and generally useful facts. I read at a decent speed but slower if it is media.

Media influence:

For media, I am constantly questioning the angle and information that they are providing. For example, if a journalist gives the figure in percentage terms, I ask myself why they didn’t provide the raw number, or both. I have the same thought if they only give the raw number.

It’s more exciting reading if the Dow ‘drops 2,000 points’ rather than 6%. It has more impact on people who remember the Dow at 8,000 and know that a 2,000 point fall would be massive. Whereas 6% is rather commonplace in a volatile market.

When shown a graph, why did they chose the start date and end date they did? Does it support their story better? What if you shifted the dates they gave you and selected other dates 10 or 15 years earlier? Would the story they are telling, to influence your thinking, look different if they used different data?

Brain Training:

Be careful what you allow into your mind. Reading is a way to train your brain. Make sure you are consuming healthy, mind-strengthening prose. Make sure it doesn’t just make you feel good or affirm your biases. Ensure it stretches your mind and adds value to your life.

This weekend, I started re-reading ‘The Great Crash, 1929’, by John Kenneth Galbraith (another fine Canadian). I forgot he had such a keen sense of humour and great insight into the human psyche. Given the very sobering topic, he makes it oddly enjoyable to read. It really does remind me that ’it’s all the same, only the names will change’. History does repeat itself, so learn from it.

Have a look at what you are reading. Are you reading for pleasure or knowledge, or both? Shift your focus a little if you want different results.

If you are looking for some useful books on personal finance, personal development or weight loss, send me an email at scott@scottsthinking.com and I would be happy to give you a few of my favourites.