CategoriesActionObserveProgressReframe your thoughts

People Need Encouragement

When you are having tough times, trying something new, stating an opinion or just trying to get through your day, it is always nice to have a few words of encouragement from others. People need encouragement.

It is so easy for people to criticise, condemn, chastise, laugh at and bully. It requires no interest, curiosity or understanding of the other person.

For the most part, people are trying to do their best with what they know. Give them that benefit of the doubt. Assume their intentions are good unless and until you have conclusive proof that they aren’t.

Reflect on whether you are offering enough encouragement to people. It takes so little encouragement to light a fire under someone, to build them up. Ask questions. Seek first to understand. Assume their intent is good, even if their route to get their desired outcome isn’t the one you would necessarily choose.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood

Stephen R. Covey

Remember, how many Presidents, Prime Ministers, Chief Medical Officers, Doctors etc said nothing in the 1800’s and early 1900’s about smoking. Finally someone took the initiative to speak up about the health issues of a very popular pastime. Going against the accepted wisdom is more easily done with some encouragement.

For those of you with kids or young relatives at primary school age, think about how you might talk down about people you disagree with, whether it is journalists, politicians or business people. Then think how you would feel if your children or young relatives treated other children like that. If it’s bullying when young people do it, it must be called bullying when adults do it. Is there ever really a good justification for it?

Imagine what we could do on this planet if everyone stopped criticising and bullying others, and were more curious and gave words of encouragement. Try catching yourself for the next 24 hours. If you’re honest, it is quite revealing.

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CategoriesObserveProgressReframe your thoughts

The Challenges Ahead

We have all faced significant headwinds in our lives and leaning into the challenges ahead will be similar. There will be days where you will be feeling overwhelmed and maybe beaten, but you will press on and get through this.

I am always amazed at people’s tenacity and inner strength when they decide to get through something. The absolute power that we possess inside is quite incredible. By taking each day and each hour as it comes we can get through just about anything.

There are 1,440 minutes in a day and there are 84 days in 12 weeks. So we have 120,960 minutes to enjoy or persevere through at this unique time in the UK. When it is all going well, it will go by quick. Though there will be times when you will feel like the clock has stopped. Either way, stay focused on the bright side of everything.

Enjoy every minute of this unique period in time. Amazing things will happen in your relationships and your life in general, if you stay focused and approach everything, and everyone, with the best intent.

If the challenges get too much, put yourself in a 5 minute time out. Do some slow, deep breathing and relax your mind and thoughts. Remember that in the moment, everything is super important and feels like it really matters. However, the events of that moment are unlikely to be remembered 200 years from now.

If I get too caught up in the moment, I mentally picture myself shooting up into space, all while looking down as the ground disappears below me. As I am rising up, the streets get smaller and I see other cities. As I go higher, the details blur into cities, farmland, forest and large bodies of water. Soon I’m floating in space and looking down at this little blue ball, balanced perfectly in an orbit in space, which has seen wars, peace, contagion and warmth.

In that moment, I remember how significantly insignificant what is happening probably is in the very grand scheme of things. So I breathe and smile as I return back down to earth. Refreshed with perspective, I am once again prepared for the challenges ahead. Try this a few times and let me know if it works for you.

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CategoriesActionGratitudeHealth & FitnessReframe your thoughts

Happy Mother’s Day! ?

Please do not go and see your mother today. It is the greatest gift you can give her. Yes, it is Mother’s Day in the UK on Sunday 22nd of March 2020, but please do not go to visit.

Your Mother gave you life and the most important thing you can do at this time is help protect hers.

My marvellous Mom lives 3,300 miles away, across an ocean, so there is little chance, in this no-fly era, that I would go and see her today anyway. But for those of you that live close enough to drive, or even walk, I strongly urge you to use Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, etc. or you can simplify and just call her on the phone.

The very last thing you want on your conscience, for the rest of your life, is to think that you may have caused your Mother’s early passing. If she were to come down with the symptoms of this virus within 14 days of your visit, you would probably never forgive yourself. Don’t take that chance this year.

And don’t use the justification that she is getting on and may not have many more, so we want to make this one special. Don’t turn many more into no more.

Have a lovely video chat or a phone call. Remember, she probably grew up in an era where people used the telephone anyway. It will remind her of the days of her youth.

If you really want to make an impact, by reminding her how wonderful she is and how much she means to you, spend the rest of your day crafting a lovely letter to her detailing why. You could even get it done in the morning.

Thank you and best wishes to all of the lovely Mother’s out there.

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CategoriesActionGratitudeObserveReframe your thoughts

The Bright Side

There is always a bright side.

Sometimes we don’t see it and sometimes we don’t want to see it. If we are still reeling from an event or situation, we may not feel like looking on the bright side.

Whether you see it, don’t want to see it or don’t feel like embracing it, it is still there. Once you step over the little chasm in your mind, and sometimes begrudgingly admit it, it does feel pretty good. So why not get to that spot and start smiling as soon as you can.

From today, soon or recently for others, many of us will be experiencing the new normal. We may enjoy the idea of bits of it and loathe the thought of other bits. Either way, this is our global new normal. So we may as well look on the bright side.

Here are a few things I’ve observed:

It feels so calm. The streets are quiet with very few cars or pedestrians. We just need to be at home – nowhere else. No detailed and challenging calendars to check or update. Time with my son – we went for a run today along the quiet river path and enjoyed a great chat and sprint to the finish: he’s fast. We celebrated a big birthday of a friend on a Zoom conference call involving 3 countries. We cheered on two others having birthdays on Saturday and Sunday too.

People have been friendly, helpful, supportive, calm, pretty optimistic and resolute. Air and general pollution seems to be dropping rapidly and should continue to do so during the new normal period. This is fantastic in general but even more so for all the people that wanted more immediate and severe action on climate change – now it is happening. Schooling is going 100% online – how fascinating it will be to see how it works.

The world has changed. It seems like it happened overnight. There will be challenges ahead.

Remember to look on the bright side of everything. Make it part of your new normal.

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CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughtsThink About It

Context Is Critical. As Are Facts.

We are facing unprecedented times. But they are not nearly as scary as media (both classical and social), and your mind, are making this out to be.

In the UK, there were 616,014 deaths in 2018. That is nearly 1,700 deaths PER DAY. Coronavirus deaths in the UK since it started, about 30 days ago, now total 104. (in context, over the same 30 days, approximately 51,000 people have died in the UK).

Now lets play out some simple, specific numbers. We will assume the absolute largest number of infections possible in the UK, which would be 100% of the total population or 67,785,240. Then, let’s take the current mortality and expected survival rate, globally, based on confirmed cases of 218,723 and confirmed deaths of 8,943 so far. Using these figures we get a 4.1% mortality rate and 95.9% projected survival rate.

If we remove Italy from these numbers, but leave in the other 172 countries and territories, with at least one confirmed case, the rates change to 3.3% mortality rate and 96.7% survival rate. Finally, if we use Germany, as a best case, which has the 5th highest number of confirmed cases at 12,327 and deaths at 28, it would give them a mortality rate of 0.2% and therefore a survival rate of 99.8%. This is only 0.1% higher than the seasonal flu. Context is critical.

So perhaps at best, we could direct the 70+ population, along with those with underlying conditions of all ages, to self-isolate, and request that the rest of the country get this virus. This could lead to between 153,969 and 2,236,912 deaths. However, experts believe only 50%-80% of people will actually get infected, which could bring these numbers down by almost half. In addition, by removing the vulnerable population from the equation, we are more likely to trend closer to the 153,969 or a UK survival figure of 67,631,271.

Context is critical. The world governments have pumped trillions of dollars into the economy, in the last week, to no positive effect. Few people are consuming, other than the basics, due to fear or government imposed restrictions on movement. And we have only just begun, as we have just passed 200,000 confirmed cases with millions more expected. With markets collapsing, millions predicted to be unemployed and/or the governments straining to pay for everything and everyone to keep going, might there now be a better way?

Perhaps the healthy 6-60 year olds could offer to get this mild (for healthy people) flu-like virus, while the higher risk groups self-isolate (as mentioned above). Experts seem to think 50%-80% of the population will be infected at some point. If this is inevitable, why not sign up now to get it and save the economy and livelihoods and still save a lot of people. If you want to read a very brief draft outline of one way we could do this, click here.

Yes, there may not be enough hospital beds. But people tend to die in the field of battle during a war. And this is looking a lot like a war.

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CategoriesActionFinancialGoals, Results & New ThinkingProgressReframe your thoughtsThink About ItTime

The Coronavirus Decision: Save Lives or Livelihoods?

Do we allow up to 264 million people to die worldwide while trying to maintain livelihoods globally or do we attempt to save those people, while corporate, government and personal finances, and therefore all livelihoods, are shredded beyond recognition?

Save lives or save livelihoods? That is the big picture, tough decision that Governments, and their citizens, need to consider, and fairly quickly.

I outlined some of the key considerations in my post the other day which you can access by clicking here.

Most people will have an automatic gut reaction to what is the ‘right’ answer. Try putting that reaction on pause, gather some info, and really think through the next year of unintended consequences. Think like a President or Prime Minister who has to consider millions of others in all their different circumstances.

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CategoriesGratitudeObserveReframe your thoughts

“Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)”

The world has changed. Completely. 2020 will be known as a pivotal year in human history. And it has only just begun! With more and more countries reducing people’s daily activities, and several countries going into full lockdown, the landscape is changing rapidly.

As with anything that changes, especially if it seems like it is getting worse, we feel nostalgic and sometimes sad for our loss of what was. How good we had it back then; back in 2019.

That’s when this song starts playing in my head. A power ballad by American glam metal band, Cinderella. “Don’t know what you got (Till it’s gone)”. It was released on the 21st May 1988: like an early birthday gift to me.

Although a love song, its melancholy piano, soaring guitar and anguished vocals have frequently reminded me over the years to appreciate all the amazing things we have. Every day.

It’s so easy to appreciate what has gone – though it’s then too late. Yet, it can be quite difficult to appreciate things in the moment. Mostly, this is because many of us are not practicing appreciation everyday. You’ll have more joy in your life if you strengthen this ability on a daily basis.

So today, more than ever, it’s important to appreciate how delicately balanced life and the world is. As people are going through hardships with the loss of loved ones or working through unforeseen financial challenges, be kind, be patient and be tolerant.

Take a few minutes right now to stop everything, close your eyes and appreciate the life you have right now. When you are done reflecting, you can even make a list of 10 things you appreciate in your life right now. Then keep this with you to review daily as the challenges of the days ahead unfold.

Being able to breath without a respirator might be one. The simple act of walking might be another. The ability to buy milk (the money you have, the shop nearby, the milk being in the shop, someone having milked a cow at 5am – remember, I grew up on a dairy farm).

Breathe it in and enjoy it now.

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CategoriesActionProgressReframe your thoughts

Rise Like A Phoenix

Life is going to throw stuff at you. There will be days filled with uncertainty, bleakness and enduring pain. Your head will spin. Your thoughts will collide.

You are not down and out. You will overcome this. Stand up and straighten your back. Lift your shoulders and your head. ‘Bring it on’, I say. You’re in this for the long run. You can handle the speed bumps of life.

Whether it is work related, your relationship, your finances, the coronavirus, your fitness levels, or perhaps all of them are crashing at once, you can still rise.

Know that you will persevere for however long it takes. You will not stop until you have risen back up and spread your wings. You will feel the sunshine on your face again and life will be wonderful.

Keep your eyes on the future. Know it gets better. Believe you can rise up from the ashes of past glories and rebuild again.

Quickly restart and soar!

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CategoriesActionHealth & FitnessReframe your thoughts

You Did It!!

You never really believed you would do it. Some friends said it would never happen. Somehow you were able to plug away at it, in your spare time and you made it quite an achievement. A fantastic accomplishment.

Remember to give yourself a pat on the back and to stand tall for every little and large achievement in your life. It’s important to set goals and work towards them. However, you need to remember to celebrate often. Whatever that looks like these days (wine, meditation, favourite chocolate bar, gym time or a snooze button).

When you sign up to something, it is important to move it forward and to see it through. It makes you feel good that you accomplished something.

I recently mentioned that I was giving ? soon. Well, today was the day. It all went well, I am happy to report. I feel a little lighter and someone will have the benefit of my A+ blood to help them through whatever difficult time they are having. It was a nice feeling to donate. (Well, not the pin prick on the finger or the needle going in the arm, but those were overshadowed.)

I celebrated with some lemonade, some club bars and a lovely packet of salt & vinegar crisps. Perfect.

With what’s going on in the world, get out there and do something life changing. Let me know what it is!

Life saving activity in under an hour. No training required. Who is next?
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CategoriesActionFinancialObserveReframe your thoughtsThink About It

Coronavirus End Game

7.8 billion people infected. 264 million COVID-19 related deaths globally. Of which, 80% were over 60 years old with more than 75% of those having an underlying health issue.

These numbers represent the end game – the potential worst case scenario, at current trends, given the World Health Organisation mortality rate, if every person on the planet where to be infected.

Should the media and its readers really be counting up by ones and tens for each new country, each new city with a confirmed case and each new death? The sooner we can accept that this has the potential to create extremely difficult times, the sooner we can move on and keep what is good, still going.

By that I mean that if we do have the tragic human toll either way (sooner or later), let’s not have a disastrous financial toll too. This is because the financial toll could lead to all sorts of other challenges and human suffering as companies go bust, people lose their jobs and incomes, and then payments for cars, houses, rent, food, medicines etc aren’t made. Then we would have a very harsh economic challenge as well as rising mortality numbers.

In my thoughts, there are three ‘Best case’ outcomes:

  1. Find a cure in March or April 2020: Then all is good. (If not, economic challenges will become severe and worsening)
  2. We quarantine it out of existence such that not one single person has it and then we go back to normal (This could be several months, or more, as we don’t know exactly who has it and there is a carrier lag due to a 14 day incubation period)
  3. We accept it is happening and carry on as normal while changing some habits (no handshakes, wash hands frequently, minimise contact with others while we carry on as normal). We would continue to fly, meet, attend sporting events and conferences etc., while being more cautious, especially around older people.

A fiscal stimulus will not solve this alone. If people are staying home from work and social events – out of concern or government mandates, and they are not producing or consuming as much as before – for the same reasons, then economies will quickly start to falter as airlines, hotels, university sandwich shops, retailers and banks fail, one at a time, in ever rapid succession.

Perhaps we should be carrying on while accepting that there will be significant deaths. If we don’t, and if we don’t find a cure or quarantine it out of existence, the descent into exceptionally hard economic times could be imminent. This could come with severe societal shocks due to high levels of insolvencies and unemployment, a credit freeze and growing crime and unrest.

In addition, there is no amount of stockpiling you can do that will get you through to the end of this, either: unless a cure is found in March, latest April. If supply chains slow down, the real impact will be many months away, not weeks.

This may become our generational thing to get through like all those who had to endure WWI, The Spanish Flu, The Great Depression, WWII and/or the Cold War. Except for the destruction of the wars, this might be all those wrapped up in one. Or not. No one knows how exactly this will all play out.

No one wants to be the person or family infected. But then no one wants to be hit by a car, be told they have cancer or have a heart attack. These are all random events that can impact us or our families and friends at any time. Yet we still go about our days: despite knowing any number of things could send us off to meet our maker. We simply take precautions. We look before crossing the street and eat healthy and exercise. Now we’ll wash our hands more too.

Yes, it’s a little more scary than the other main ways to pass, mainly because it’s new and there is uncertainty.

However, we need to keep calm and carry on. Otherwise, we could make matters far worse.

Accept the end game as a worst case, wash your hands well and frequently, tell important people what you should (sooner rather than later), eat well and exercise so your body is at its best – in case you need to do battle with this virus (or any other life, or lifestyle, threatening situation).

Hopefully the incredibly clever people around the world will discover a cure in the weeks to come. Hopefully it is quarantined out of existence. Hopefully everyone develops an immunity to it.

Regardless, the end game is that 7.55 billion people should survive this flu virus. Odds are you’ll be fine. Most families, however, will be impacted in some way. Be empathetic. Be kind. Be generous where you can.

Just keep calm and carry on.

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