When people generalise they often don’t have the detail or they do but it won’t help their cause. So you need to dig for the detail. Ask the questions. Don’t get palmed off. Request the detail as they should want to share that with you if they are open minded.
Because life can be pretty full on, fast paced, full and exhausting, our brains naturally look for shortcuts. They want to use the least amount of energy and do the minimal amount of work.
For these reasons, it prefers shortcuts, generalisations, easy references and common phrases especially when they work with any biases we are holding.
We tend to use words from our work or industry, religion or culture. Doctors may use the term ‘stat’, office workers will ‘circle back’ and sportspeople get ‘in the zone’.
It is unlikely, or rare, to hear people using other groups’ words or terms. It’s hard to imagine an NBA coach telling his players to pass the ball to the point guard stat.
This helps explain why people that watch the same news channels or read similar newspapers, will see things similarly and speak the same.
Rather than think things through, and assess things in their own mind, the shortcut is to accept what they are hearing and seeing, summarise it in generalisations and pass it on. People in their group think will understand the summary terms and distill it further. Like the telephone game, the theme may remain similar but the actual details may get distorted.
Don’t let this happen to you. Think for yourself. Put the extra bit of work in, especially if you will get involved in a conversation. Also give people time and space to reflect and ask questions. Allow people to think, even if it’s different to you.
Look for unique opportunities or simply better situations and options than you have now. Create a curiosity mindset and an opportunity mindset so that your mind is always in search mode. You will find amazing things by training your mind in this way.
People in general have a tendency to agree or acquiesce to their tribe or community perception. Going against that view has historically seen you cast out from that section of society.
Consider Snowball in Animal Farm, the Truckers in Canada or people who appreciate law and order.
The leader will throw you out if they sniff any dissenting view, or they can create rules or expectations to follow which their knowing followers can use to sideline people with a diverse point of view.
Here we can reflect on The Ten Commandments, Laws and societal norms of the time. These allow people to shun others who don’t follow the chosen value path.
Everyday you make choices which require you to decide which is more important to you, the acceptance from your valued tribe or taking things a step closer to unity involving both sides, not just one side.
If you’re undertaking a big project, long hike or extended engagement, make sure you’re well supplied. It’s a very unfortunate situation if you run out of key supplies part way through your campaign.
Think supply chains and war. Without supply replenishment, you will die. Live and learn.
You will learn a lot of things in life, but make sure this is one of those things. Learn how to do this at a young age and you can use it throughout your life.
It will keep you in better health, both physically and mentally. You will also get more joy out of life if you learn to take the edge off. Learn how to meditate and practice it daily.
Even when passions run high, remember to use your head to check yourself.
You probably could do a few things better than you’re doing them now. Do you want to put the extra effort in though? This is the challenge.
Most of us have the ability and runway and even desire to do more or be better. However, we also can feel lazy, uninspired or wonder what the point is and whether it is worth it at all.
Well it is worth it. Focus on building your discipline every day. It will carry you through the tough times, the doubtful moments and the significant challenges like loss of motivation, purpose or faith.
You can do better. Build up to it. You’ll be so glad you did. And may regret it if you don’t.
I usually find these lists quite exciting and interesting. Someone has gone out and done all the research for you and they’ve provided a ranking and review to make your large choice much easier.
The one that struck me today was a list for the best salt & vinegar chips in the UK. It’s very easy to think the top ranked crisps are ‘the best’. Yet, they are only the best for that one person providing the ranking and reviews.
Their top choice might be light on the salt yet heavy on the vinegar with a significant apple flavoured element. That may not be how you like your crisps. And they may prefer ruffles to baked or thick cut not wafer thin.
There are often lots of other elements than just what is reviewed but regardless, make sure you’re clear on all the reasons and details that went into the list-makers decision. It’s nice to have a list but not so much when it’s opposite to how you would have ranked them.
Having verbal conversations can be tricky. Everyone sees, in their mind, what they want to see. Because the bias comes in and words spoken can be misinterpreted, misunderstood, summarised or even misused, it can work better if things are written down. A desire to find the truth of a specific reality, regardless of your personal position, will also help you ask good questions and make progress on the topic.
