You choose how to think. And what you will let ruminate in your mind. Why would you choose anything but positive thoughts. Make it a habit.
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Category: Think About It
The Tip Of The Iceberg
What you can see, isn’t all there is. There is a lot going on below the surface. Remember that the tip of the iceberg is only the beginning.
When speaking to someone, remember that you only get the words, tone and body language. What you may not understand is the full meaning. The person may have a completely different experience to you and therefore have a unique point of view on a topic.
If someone has lived through a traumatic event, and they say they know what it means, they may actually know. And not just theoretically. If they have had the full body and complete mind numbing experience, they may be able to relate on closer level than people who haven’t gone through the challenge.
There is so much information being considered and assessed in the back of our mind all day. We are constantly shifting thoughts around in our unconscious mind and occasionally our conscious one.
This massive information flow can therefore make it easier to assess things by feel or intuition. Taking the time to go through all the data and nuance could take weeks, months or years. However, we can make reasonable snap decisions by weighing up the sense we have. Beware though, making emotional decisions this way is not advised. Get key data as well.
The tip of the iceberg is not all there is.
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Quality Time Defined
Is quality time what you want or what they want? If one of you isn’t delighted, is it still quality time? It’s time to have quality time defined.
Deciding you are going for a walk with a friend, who doesn’t enjoy walking, might not be the best idea of quality time. Do you both have to enjoy the activity, discussion or company? Or is it ok if just one of you do?
When you spend some of your day with your young child, is it enough to just enjoy being together? Or do you need to enjoy the event too? Is it quality time either way?
Encouraging your child to try something with you might seem like a good idea. You will be expanding their horizons and possibly adding a new, burgeoning skill to their repertoire. This is brilliant if they thoroughly enjoyed it. However, if they were not very interested or engaged, is it still quality time?
Is a shared memory considered quality time, even if it is not a brilliant or positive one? Perhaps they learned a lesson, or you did. If it came from a difficult experience, but something good came from it, does it fit the description?
In summary, life will be different for you with quality time defined.
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Where Do You Fish?
Are you going to the best spot for the results you want? Have you thought much about it? Where do you fish? Clearly, the best place is where the fish you want are swimming.
Too many times we ask the wrong people or the wrong question. It is often easier to ask a friend what they think rather than ask someone who might be in a better position to answer.
If you want to catch salmon, you are best not to fish in a lake with only trout and bass. And if you don’t know where to catch salmon, asking your trout fishing buddies might not get the best answer.
By all means, do ask your trout fishing buddies though. They may also like salmon fishing, have been salmon fishing or knows a relative or friend who loves it. It’s a good place to start, especially if you are out on the lake spending time fishing.
But don’t stop there. Go online. Find out where salmon tend to live. Watch videos, read articles or call a salmon fishing shop or tour operator. You will get a variety of ideas and points of view. Some will be repetitive, some unique, some useful and some will be of little use at all.
Apply this search method to everything including getting medical information, finding a job, looking for clients and finding a partner – business or personal.
Where do you fish? This can make all the difference.
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Success Leaves Clues
Want to know how to succeed? Find several people who are where you want to be and follow what they have done. Success leaves clues. So don’t be clueless. Assess what these people have done and start doing it.
Success might be better described as moving in the direction you want. It can be a final event. You could say winning an Olympic gold medal is success. However, it could be seen in more everyday uses too. You could have successfully applied for a job. Success could be completing a job interview too. Being offered the job would indicate success as well.
Some general ingredients to have more success in your life are as follows. First, you should work hard and not just when you are told or feel like it. Second, set out a plan to reach your goal and what you need to do to achieve it. Then follow that plan daily. Put in the effort, time and energy, while improving your skills, mindset and confidence.
Some of the clues you will notice are having a big goal, a plan of action and some discipline. In addition, you will need to build your resilience because that is also a key to success. Furthermore, you will notice that those that train consistently get better and more consistent results.
Success leaves clues. Look for them.
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Start Together When Debating
Start together when debating. Ensure you’re both starting from The Alamo. Ensure you both want to get to Times Square. Once you’re clear on where you will start and finish, your discussion will be more fruitful.
Often I begin a conversation with someone and we do not set out the key point in advance. Casual conversations start this way most of the time. It is only when you get to a point where you don’t see eye to eye that any issues occur.
Before getting further involved in those conversations, it can be useful to be clear on what the different perspectives are. When I say to be clear, I mean get quite specific. Most often people will disagree on different points in the discussion. Without being clear and specific, you might think you are discussing the same point. However, I frequently notice that people are talking about the same topic but different points within it.
For example, let’s say the topic was crime. We could even be discussing the idea of whose fault it is that we have crime. Some people will consider it to be the fault of the parents, the person themself, the government for creating the laws, the police for enforcing the laws and a number of other things.
It is best to pick one specific item and discuss it at length. If you start together when debating, you may realise you have more in common then you thought.
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Picking A Movie
Your favourite movie may provide some insight into your personality. Or it might just indicate your current mood. Either way, picking a movie to watch in a group can be challenging at times.
There are so many movies to choose from today. From all the classics, the award winners and the unique, to the avant-garde, and truly poor. Although there is something for everyone, it is not always easy to agree on one to watch.
The genre you enjoy determines what you get more of in your life. If you like to watch comedy or comedies, you may find more laughter in your life. Your perspective may tend to the lighter and brighter side of things too.
Though you could also be wanting comedy because you aren’t getting enough of it in your own life. Sometimes we choose what we lack. Other times we choose what we have and want more of. At other moments we choose the genre so we can try to figure something out or get ideas from it for our own life.
It’s always good to understand why you are selecting the movie you are. It can give you some good insight into your thoughts and ideas.
Picking a movie can be a beneficial exercise, not just entertainment.
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It Is July 2025
What will you be doing? How will the world be coping? What will be happening? Imagine it is July 2025 right now. Are you happy with what you see?
Rather than wonder what you will be doing in 4 years from now, try something different. You can either research what some prognosticators are saying or make your own view. Of course when considering your own situation, it is likely you will have a better idea of the potential.
Who will be in power in the G7 countries? Who will be running your country? What will we know about COVID? What stats will we have? How will different countries be living with this?
Where will you be in your career? What about your close relationships? What will your finances look like? How old will your parents be?
If you have never written this down, you may find it quite an interesting exercise. Every time I do it, I think of other options I would like to have be true. In addition, when you look at things in the long run perspective, you tend to reduce emotional decision making. You also, get a greater sense of what could be possible for you. Also, you are more able to use facts and data rather than stories and unhelpful self-talk.
It is July 2025. Describe it.
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What Do You Believe?
When reading something, have you ever thought why you enjoy it or find it uncomfortable? What do you believe? Have you ever taken stock of what matters to you in life?
I remember a baseball movie from the 80’s where the lead character rhymed off what he believed in. I couldn’t remember all the details but I was impressed by his recount. It was impressive that he had actually thought about it and was quite clear about it. There was no pause, no slight hesitation or uncertainty.
Sometimes I have started to write out a list as well. It’s something I should continue. It seems like a reasonable thing to do, especially with the big topics in your life. Writing them out gives some glaring clarity too. You can’t simply play mind games with yourself. You can’t shift in a constant, ‘if this then that’, scenario.
Some people’s beliefs change depending on who is saying it. That is unfortunate but can happen. There are plenty of videos online which demonstrate this tendency.
Give it a try later today. Set aside 10 minutes and see how many core beliefs you can write into the notes section of your phone. Put them in there so you can review them occasionally. Reflect on them and adjust them as you consider them in the future.
What do you believe?
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