CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughtsTime

The Stockdale Paradox

What does seven years in the Hanoi Hilton have in common with Covid lockdown? Perhaps it is The Stockdale Paradox. You must confront the brutal facts while emphatically maintaining that you will survive, and thrive, despite them.

I first became aware of The Stockdale Paradox almost two decades ago when I was reading Jim Collins’ fascinating book, “Good to Great”. The book is the result of a study of the differentiating factors between long term success and short term blips.

In the book, James Stockdale is brought up. Despite having survived seven years of seriously harsh POW treatment, he seemed to have survived the ordeal and feel stronger for it. Let’s all hope that whatever our personal circumstances are, or become, we can say the same after this Covid experience.

It is important to confront the brutal facts of our current reality. And equally critical, we must have unwavering belief that we will overcome whatever difficulties we encounter and emerge stronger on the other side.

Admiral Stockdale said it was the optimists that struggled and sometimes didn’t make it through. I can understand that. However, I will add that perhaps it was the impatient folks that struggled most. The one’s that wanted it over quickly, in addition to those that were hopeful about the outcome.

Think about your expectations and sprinkle some patience in there. The 1918 Pandemic lasted 2 years. It doesn’t mean this one will be difficult for some or all of that time though. So stay positive, and patient, and be ready to overcome whatever comes your way.

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CategoriesReframe your thoughtsThink About ItTime

Thinking Differently Changes Lives

It feels like there is a lot of upheaval and uncertainty in the world at the moment. Remember that thinking differently changes lives, whether it is with respect to Covid, your job or summer holidays.

Day to day life seems to be changing at a rapid pace. The future may, or may not, look different from what we experienced in 2019. But then again, things have been changing your whole life. So change is not really new. But what might be new is having greater uncertainty as to how this change will play out for you.

In our early years, many people have higher certainty due to social norms (school advancement, activities) and signposting by our parents or carers. From teenage years and onwards, we have a slightly lower certainty as we attempt to do things we want to do (apply to universities or jobs, move house, find new friends or a partner).

Often we decide on the change that we would like to happen in our life. But we did not choose this moment in time and the changes it has dealt us. And we do not know where this road leads. But the thinking that got us this far in life, may need some alterations for this next stage of life.

You are the hero of this story. No one else is coming to save you. You have the strength and mental acuity to shift now from uncomfortable to unstoppable. Be one of those joy filled people that believes thinking differently changes lives. Then make the mindset shift and begin the change.

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CategoriesObserveThink About ItTime

Where Do We Go From Here?

I had a wonderful conversation with my 11 year old son Thursday night. ‘Where do we go from here?’, seemed to be the overriding theme.

It started after hearing a Patrick Bet-David video where he was saying he wouldn’t allow any excuse to stop him from succeeding. After discussing his words, and our view of his intent, we moved on to the current situation with the statues. After discussing many of the different positions people hold on this topic, we ended it wondering where things will go next.

From there we landed on the subject of Buddhism and the after life possibilities. Where do we go from here, if anywhere? We covered the ‘dead is dead and nothing happens’ perspective. The Heaven and Hell option was then considered. Then we went back to the Buddhist views and wandered around reincarnation for a bit.

Although he would love to know what’s next, he assured me he is not in a hurry to find out.

I left him with the following suggestions while he considers the many different points of view on the subject. Live the longest, happiest, most enjoyable life you can, just in case dead means dead.

Also, be kind to others and generally be good while doing all that enjoyment. Not only is it the right thing to do, it is good karma and should keep him out of the too hot to handle place should that be one of two possible destinations.

Finally, that good karma might help a little should reincarnation be the next level in this video game.

Wherever we go on any of the topics we covered, it is sure to be a fascinating ride.

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CategoriesActionTime

Timing Is Everything

Every minute of life is like a slowly changing, large combination lock. Timing is everything. You need to get the right numbers, in the correct sequence, at the right time.

In life’s combination lock, the correct code keeps changing, similar to the Enigma machine. Even if you get the correct numbers and right sequence, if the timing is off, you don’t get to unlock the rewards.

Although, if you start paying attention to the people that have deciphered the code, and you follow it, your likelihood of success will be greatly magnified.

Timing is everything. I am sure you can relate. Maybe you have arrived at a shop as they were locking the doors, or snuck into your classroom just before the teacher turned to face the class.

There seems to be good and bad timing, but it is simply timing, nonetheless. The universe is indiscriminate.

Do your best to be your best as often as you can. Life can be a real numbers game. You never know when all the stars will be aligned and you will hit the jackpot.

Just make sure you are in the game, doing your best and learning to do better. The more you practice the more fortunate you will become.

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CategoriesActionProgressTime

All The Information Exists Already

We can read about success. We can read about failure. All the information exists already and can be quickly and easily found.

I have found this information in books, videos, movies and magazines. You can also hear about it on podcasts and watch it on YouTube.

It is truly amazing what life changing information, tips, philosophies, examples and opportunities you can find if you simply start looking.

Now it helps if you can look with your eyes open and can ask good questions. With Google, you’re first question can even be mediocre. However, by your third search, you could have found what you originally wanted. Often times, I will even find things that were better than what I started looking for.

It helps to have access to the internet or a library. It’s free to get a library card. And once there, you can read books, borrow them (physical, online or In audio format) and in many you can access the internet for free.

It’s up to you to decide what you tune into though.

For example, if you watch scary movies and have nightmares, perhaps you should stop watching scary movies. Assess whether the content you’re consuming is making you a stronger, better person or not.

If you spend your time consuming media, social media and friends’ chats, you may find your opportunities diminishing. It might be fun or distracting, but you’re unlikely to be getting closer to the real results you want.

All the information exists already to get you on the road to your dreams. You just have to go find it and use it. With that knowledge and a little effort, you can achieve anything.

Go change your life now!

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CategoriesGratitudeThink About ItTime

Fond Memories Of Childhood Are Worth Rekindling

There are so many things to think about, do and keep up with in adult life. That is why fond memories of childhood are worth rekindling.

As we move through life, we see more of the complexities and nuances. There seems to be so much more to do as well. There is work, possibly children, pets, parents and partner. In addition, there is planning for holidays, signing up to activities, organising finances and everyday admin – which sometimes seems ever present.

So reflecting back on those long summer days in childhood is a nice thing. Remembering riding bicycles with friends, swimming together, sleepovers and solo playing can make you feel like you’ve been on holiday.

Was life simpler then or was it just because life is simpler in childhood? Maybe both?

I have many fantastic memories of childhood. Growing up on a farm often meant being creative. Today I was remembering building complex forts, tunnels and secret rooms with hay bales up in the hayloft. They were fun to build and brilliant to play in.

Fond memories of childhood are worth rekindling. What are some of your fondest memories? Can you pull out some forgotten but brilliant moments from the archive? Take 10 minutes and try to remember the names of your friends and the exciting adventures you had.

Enjoy!

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CategoriesThink About ItTime

Life With No Consequences

People need to see that there is a cause and effect. This should be for both good and bad. We must remember that life with no consequences presents other problems.

It’s best if people learn this lesson young. Children that learn this lesson well should have a better moral compass and achieve greater success. I don’t know if they do, but it seems more likely.

As a parent, I sometimes highlight the potential consequences of an action to my children. If it is quite dangerous, I may insist on the end of the activity. However, if it will not harm them, sometimes I let them continue, after noting the potential consequences.

The safest way to learn is to use other people’s experience, but the best way to remember the learning moment is to get the experience yourself. So sometimes, you just need to let things go on their course and believe the universe will reveal the consequences without significant trouble.

A life with no consequences sounds awesome to me. The problem is, that is not how life works. I want my children to grow up with this core lesson, that there are consequences to your actions, both good and bad.

Like times tables, this lesson will have to be continually reinforced through training until it is ingrained in their being. But it is a good one to know. Follow a good formula and better things should occur. Go off track and challenges will pop up that you would prefer weren’t there.

If you always save your children, friends, parents, etc, they won’t learn or grow. That scenario isn’t good for anyone. In contrast, it is such a great thing to see them making good decisions, on their own, and reaping what they sow.

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CategoriesTime

Spend Time With Wonderful People

Time is shorter than we think. I have let time drift by at times, but I do try to make better use of it now. I spend time with wonderful people as much as I can now. I try to schedule them in as much as my schedule allows.

On Thursday morning, I spent that time with my wonderful wife and three wonderful children. We were out of the house by 07:40 and went on an epic walk to, and through, Richmond Park. (Ditto on Friday!)

It was so lovely to spend that time with each of them. We all really enjoyed it. It started at 10C and was gorgeously sunny. The weather continued to get better from there. We chatted with each other about various things while we ran, walked and went up hills and down.

We shared old memories and made new ones. Then we played on a very large fallen tree that had about 15 mid-sized new growth trees growing out of it. Amazing and fascinating.

We saw young deer and old deer. There were very few people out at that time too, which was lovely. No airplanes flying overhead and not many cars on the couple of roads we did have to walk on or near.

You probably have some wonderful people in your life. If you are in lockdown with them, spend some quality time together doing something different. If not, call them, FaceTime, Zoom, Skype etc.

The most enjoyable and memorable part of life is when you spend time with wonderful people.

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CategoriesActionTime

Do Something Memorable In The Next 24 Hours

It can be crazy and off the wall or simple and subdued. However you decide to express yourself, do something memorable in the next 24 hours.

With all this news about Covid-19, I think there might be a slightly elevated awareness of our own immortality. This could be a good thing.

Every day is a new opportunity to make the path of your life more exciting, more memorable and more meaningful. We have this opportunity every day. Sometimes it is in our minds. However, we do not always start the day with intent to make it memorable.

The day may become memorable by chance. This type of surprise can be wonderful! Though, this method is a little bit hit and miss. What memorable things could you do today? Write a wonderful letter to a loved one? Call someone that you’ve been meaning to call? Attempt to discuss a more challenging topic with someone in your lockdown Group? Or take a fun picture?

There are 100’s of things you could imagine doing, even while respecting lockdown rules. Don’t allow a day to go by without making some aspect of it memorable.

Do something memorable in the next 24 hours and you will have one more thing to put on your favourite memories list. In five years from now, you’ll be glad you did!

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CategoriesActionGoals, Results & New ThinkingTime

Focus For The Next 4 Months

One third of the year has come and gone. If you’re like me, lots has happened and lots hasn’t. I have to focus for the next 4 months to catch up on a few things. Amazingly, four months have already zoomed past and it hardly feels like the year really got started.

We’ve had a bit of an interruption on our little planet, of course.

Now that things are settling down a little though, don’t let that interruption be your reason for not achieving your goals. You must take stock of the last four months. Celebrate your successes! Similarly, consider those items not completed.

Assess these incomplete goals and decide if you took on too much, they weren’t realistic or they’re not that important to you. Redouble you’re efforts and focus for the next 4 months, if those goals are still relevant. Be brutal and dismiss them if they are not. They must be a “Heck yes!” or a firm “No”.

I have a lot of interests. Of course, this can make it difficult to say no to various things. However, I must do it. I try to think ahead and consider whether the ‘distraction goals’ will be worth remembering in six or 12 months. Look back on your life and you’ll recognise what important goals look like.

Now is the time to focus for the next 4 months. Pounce on those goals!

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