Great question paraphrased from the song Russians from the 1985 album by Sting.
37 years later, it is more relevant than any time since. La plus ça change…..
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Say Nothing
Sometimes it’s better to not say anything. This is one of those moments. ?
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You Can’t Force People
Well, it is very hard to force people to do something against their will. At least, not without significant threat that is meaningful to them (not just a threat that you would respond to).
Ever try to get your children to do their homework against their will? How far do you have to take it? Do they do it on their own? Or with threat of detention at school? Perhaps you take away their phone for awhile or threaten to cancel desired play dates with friends.
What if they still won’t do it? Do you need to beg, plead and appeal to their sympathetic nature? Will bribes of candy, money, activities or other future benefits come into the frame?
This is the same for adults. If people don’t want to do something on their own, they will resist it in countless ways. Then, if you go the route of force, not friendliness, you may resort to imposing actions which could result in financial ruin, jail time, family distress, mental terror or even death.
You attract more flies with honey than vinegar. It’s an odd phrase but there seems to be sense behind it. #bekind
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What Do You Love About Life?
Serious question. Have you ever even thought about it? What is it that makes you crazy delighted about being alive?
Spend 10 minutes now writing some ideas down.
These are the things you’ll really miss when you’re gone, or they are. Start giving these the daily appreciation they deserve.
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What If I Offend Someone?
Well, with 7.8 billion people on the planet, chances are there will be at least one person offended by anything you say.
That doesn’t mean don’t say it though. Even if your intent is good and honourable, you can’t please everyone. And if they can’t see your good intent, that is not something you can change.
Think a little more before speaking. Choose your words and their order with more care. Keep away from generalisations like everyone, always, they and never. Be mindful of your biases. You don’t have to place them in people’s faces, like a red rag to a bull.
Is it a friend you want, or a fight? Can you live with your differences, or must you force them to your point of view? Remember, force rarely works.
People say things all the time without full awareness of its impact. That’s ok. Maybe they’ll try to be more mindful next time. But until then, and even if they don’t, we can pause and respond in a pleasant way. As often as required. We can control our actions and words.
Life’s too short to be offended often. Be kind. Be patient. Be compassionate. Maybe they’re hurting. Maybe they’ll learn from you.
Good luck with being the change you want to see.
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Know When To Stop Digging
Sometimes we make a mistake. Don’t be the person that doubles down on their error. Don’t escalate things out of control. You don’t need to prove you’re right, especially by might. It’s better to do the right thing for the greater good.
Put the shovel down. Stop digging a deeper hole.
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Sometimes There’s Nothing
And I’ve learned to be ok with that.
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The End Game
You really should have an end game in mind, and written down, when you take aim at a new goal, challenge or desired achievement. I don’t say this lightly. These elements build on key themes that run through three of the seven steps in my new book Achieve Anything.
Step 1 is Think, which includes beginning with the end in your mind. It also includes the rhetorical question, ’Why?’ Why are you putting energy and time into this process to reach the outcome?
Step 3 is Write. You need to take the thoughts and turn them into written words that you, or anyone, can refer back to.
Step 4 is Plan. You really should collect those written thoughts and turn them into a structured plan with dates, times, desired outcomes and the finish line.
Notice we skipped Step 2? Lots of people do. That is a big reason why many people do not achieve their goal. More on that in the book.
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I Like Green And You Like Purple
Can we still be friends?
Can we still be friendly?
Can we accept our differences?
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Don’t Continue – Finish!
It’s great to have projects on the go. But we need to keep a clear eye on these so they don’t last forever. It sounds great to be working on something, but sometimes we have to make that super extra effort and get items finished.
I have a handful of things that seem to get carried forward each day and have been for weeks, and months in some cases! There are various reasons for that. Some aren’t urgent. Some are nice to have but not critical. Others require input from someone else. Still others take more time then they seem to be worth.
Then occasionally I will have a burst and knock a few of these items off my list. Sometimes that means getting up earlier, going to bed later or switching priorities.
It’s been harder recently with completing the book, the book launch and some other pressing matters. However, I can see a time in late February / March where I can tidy up quite a few of these things. That will feel great!
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