Scott's Thinking - Page 157 of 175

Expectations v Reality Gap

Posted on July 8, 2020

It is wonderful to have great expectations. Having them also brings you hope for a better future. However, the expectations v reality gap (ER Gap), must be monitored closely as it can destroy your mind.

Our own expectations for our life, and the world around us, is often being recalibrated. This is usually in an upward trajectory. For example, it feels good to believe that I will make more money, have a better relationship, progress in my career and be healthier. The opposite is not very encouraging or motivating.

It is useful to have expectations surpassing our current reality. Doing this gives you hope and an objective to strive toward. This will help to motivate you to take action toward fulfilling those expectations.

However, there are two cautions to be noted.

Firstly, be careful not to let your expectations get too far ahead of your reality. It is easier to get disheartened if you are chasing the big dream and not seeming to make any progress. Remember to divide up your goal and expectations into steps or levels. As your reality reaches the next level you will gain momentum. Then you can recalibrate to focus on the next step in the process.

The second caution is to recalibrate your expectations downward when your reality is negatively impacted. So if your career, school grades, finances, health or athletic goals suffer a setback, recalibrate your expectations. You can do this by adding in a few more steps to your timeline. You can also extend your timeline out a little.

These two cautions are very important for your mental health. If the expectations v reality gap gets too wide, you will torment yourself and cause undue stress in your life.

Mind the Gap and stay out of the ER (A&E).

Gratitude Observe Progress

When Is A Problem Solved?

Posted on July 7, 2020

There are often different solutions to problems. And some problems have had tremendous progress. But when is a problem solved?

If I have a cut on my arm, I usually consider the initial problem solved once it stops bleeding. Usually I consider the whole problem resolved when any scab is gone and the area looks similar to how it was. If there is a little mark or scar that reminds me of the problem, that is fine. It’s not ideal but it is fine.

Some problems are more difficult to conclude that they are resolved. For example, there has been a very recent case of bubonic plague in Asia. It was once a highly feared and deadly disease. Now it can be controlled more easily. Is it a crisis? Is it a problem? At what point would you have unanimous opinion that it is no longer a problem?

We can look at homelessness, illiteracy and poverty in a similar way. Is there a measure whereby you would have unanimous agreement that these challenges were no longer a problem?

People build organisations and associations to tackle a problem. Usually this is a good way to deal with an issue. Unions would be a good example. Union membership is well down from 60 years ago though. Is there a point in the future that they will no longer be useful? Perhaps sufficient legislation will be in place or the culture will be sufficiently different to make unions irrelevant.

If that were to become the case, what would happen to the dwindling union organisations? When would they say that their job was done and it was time to close up shop?

When solving a problem, remember to be clear about the metric that determines that the job is done.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Am I Misinterpreting You Correctly?

Posted on July 6, 2020

Have you ever said something and the other person asks, “Are you saying I’m (fat, ugly, stupid, etc)?”? “Am I misinterpreting you correctly?” is what they should be asking.

Rarely have I heard someone respond with a positive expectation, such as, “Are you saying I look fit and fabulous?”.

Why is it that, when we try to decipher an underlying meaning to a statement, we overwhelmingly err on the negative side? Why are we looking for some unspoken meaning in the first place? Take the compliment, or comment, and thank the other person with a smile.

Even if it is not said with perfect words, and in the order you would want to hear it, the other person is trying. If you want them to keep trying, practice and improve, then encourage them. Try not to shut them down quickly and resist their actual intention with a cynical mindset.

Now sometimes the intention of the person is not good. There are times the person saying the words have the intent to harm. Though occasionally it can be difficult to tell. Especially if you are looking for the negative, or you tend to the cynical side and believe most people have poor intentions.

Either way, this is unfortunate, unnecessary and unacceptable. It is usually the result of a childhood that lacked good role models and an adult life with little curiosity to improve. A quick, confident and genuine, “Thank you for taking an interest”, should throw them off and end the exchange.

The next time someone says something you might not like, before responding, ask yourself, “Am I misinterpreting you correctly?”.

Reframe your thoughts Time

Watch The Moon Rise

Posted on July 5, 2020

The sky is quite amazing. A ceiling during the day and a vast glittery, endless black adventure at night. Watch the moon rise, as we did, as it’s a true wonder.

There are a few natural spectacles that are accessible to everyone. If you love a bit of natural magic, watch a sunrise, sunset and moonrise at least once annually. Do it more frequently if you can.

Watching these events can be quite awe-inspiring. It can remind us how incredible space is.

I find it even more amazing to think that we are spinning at 1,000 miles per hour. This is almost twice as fast as you’ve ever flown in a commercial airliner on your way to a holiday.

So the amazing part may not be the perception of the moon rising. Maybe it is the speed at which we can see it better as we spin around into a better position.

Either way, learn more about the event and celestial bodies and you will become even more amazed.

If you can get a chance to watch the moon rise, definitely take it. It is fun, exciting and fascinating. It is also free to do and requires pretty minimal effort.

Enjoy the night sky!

Reframe your thoughts Time

Interesting But Not Compelling

Posted on July 4, 2020

Do you remember booking that event 6 months ago and now you don’t want to go? It was interesting but not compelling. Interesting is a distraction.

Interesting is candy floss for the mind. It’s mostly nothing but seems to tempt us every time. And yet it’s really just attention grabbing empty calories.

Stay away from interesting. It can be a time waster. Pick the one or two things that set your mind alight and stick with those with blinders on.

Sometimes I find myself reading things that are interesting but really aren’t going to do much for me. I may not learn a lesson, challenge my own thinking or learn things from others who have seen things differently.

In addition, I’ll occasionally engage in a discussion that makes me think because the topic is interesting. Maybe I shouldn’t do that because it takes me away from my compelling activities. But I think it is useful to discover how other people view the world or specific situations.

Some topics are interesting and not compelling. It is up to you how you spend your precious time. Though sometimes you need to consider what Jim Rohn used to say about, ‘not signing up to that course’.

There are an infinite number of things you can learn more about in this world. But make sure you learn efficiently, as often as you can.

Reframe your thoughts Time

It’s Got To Be Easy!

Posted on July 3, 2020

Everything ideally would be like the big red button theory espoused by Rory Sutherland in one of his insightful and funny TED talks. It’s got to be easy and simple for something to work well.

Remember the first time you ever used Google to search for something? There was nothing on the page except a letterbox to type in. It was so simple, intuitive and easy. And it got the result you wanted in milliseconds. Google also found two million other options should the usual suspects not be what you were looking for.

I opened a bank account at Starling Bank recently. Oh my, how easy was that. I didn’t have to leave my home and it was all done in 10 minutes. Then they sent me the bank card.

We often make things harder than they need to be. Keeping things simple is almost an art form. It takes more effort to make things effortless. But it is worth it.

Spend 10 minutes today trying to make your life simpler. If you are going to succeed at things, it’s got to be easy. Set up your environment to win. If you want to eat healthy, keep healthy food where you spend you’re time.

You get to make the choices, so make good ones.

Observe Think About It

What Do You Look For In Other People?

Posted on July 2, 2020

I’m not sure many people consciously consider the traits they look for in friends or associates. What do you look for in other people? Are there five or six must have items on your list? Perhaps, like many people, your friendship circle is simply a collection of people you got along with well at some point.

We tend to veer towards groups with people who have similar interests like cars, property, music, surfing or bridge. And usually people bump along meeting others in that group until they find someone who they click with.

Is there a more efficient way to go about this? Speed dating fascinates me for this reason. On the surface it seems rather cold and unromantic. But it has an undeniable efficiency. Whether you have a list of ‘must haves’ or not, people tend to know within a few minutes whether the person has ‘heck yes’ potential or not.

And, if they don’t have the potential, simply catch and release. There are other fish in the sea. Of course the sooner you find those other fish, the sooner you will find additional joy.

The tough part comes when you find someone you enjoy hanging around with but they are not good for your future. Do you have the strength and discipline to cut them loose?

Become clear on what you want in a person you spend time with. Like a holiday, job, spouse, business partner or doctor, you’re going to spend important time there/together. You might as well set some specific and high criteria.

Financial Think About It Time

Shirtsleeves To Shirtsleeves In Three Generations

Posted on July 1, 2020

Wealth. It is frequently fancied while sometimes sneered at. How do you keep it in the family? Shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations is a well known, international sentiment, with this in mind.

Historically, the first generation works hard, makes sacrifices, and ensures that the money comes in. In addition, they use it well. Because of this, the first generation can grow their wealth. Often this requires practicality and frugalness. While displaying these values, their children learn more about the ingredients to success and wealth.

Parents will sacrifice their pleasure to provide a better life for their children. During this period, the children see their parent’s effort and sacrifice. Because of this, they often choose or are directed toward more stable and higher income roles. Without having to toil and sacrifice as much as their parents, who shielded them from it, they develop more of a lifestyle led existence.

The parents often sow the seed of the family’s demise. They do not always train their children in hard work, sacrifice, sensible spending and intelligent, long term investing. Certainly the second generation seldom pass key life lessons on to their children.

The third generation, brought up with wealth and a nicer lifestyle, often have few of the key ingredients to maintain or build on the family wealth. Therefore, many times this third generation reduces the family wealth. This may be through poor investing, frivolous spending, family legal disputes or trying to live up to the family name.

You can prevent shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations. Be sure to instil in your children, and grandchildren, the concepts of hard work, sacrifice and developing an investor‘s mindset.

Action Think About It

What Makes You Decide?

Posted on June 30, 2020

We make decisions every day. There are the thousands of little decisions and the several, or dozens of, much larger decisions. But what makes you decide anything in the first place?

What is it that makes us decide that it is time to brush our teeth? Is there a trigger that helps us with the decisions around the clothes we will wear today or what we will eat for lunch?

Some decisions are instant, like to keep walking or stop. Other decisions are longer term, such as where we will book next year’s summer holiday.

Perhaps many decisions are merely strong habits. If you decide to go to bed because it is 10:00 pm, is it much of a decision if you go to bed every night at that time?

A lot of decisions are the result of measuring pleasure or pain. I might keep walking if I see an old friend up ahead (pleasure pursuit). However, if I see a car hurtling through a red light, I might stop walking across the street (pain prevention).

What makes you decide to support a political party or leader? Which internal system makes those split second decisions while driving at 70 mph?

Could it be your Emotions? Experience? Training? Conditioning? Education? Influence? Peers? Data?

Have an honest moment with yourself and consider what really are the main reasons you make many of your decisions. You may be surprised.

Action Reframe your thoughts

From Beginner To Winner

Posted on June 29, 2020

The journey from start to finish can be a challenge, not least because it is repetitive. To move from beginner to winner can take some time and a lot of training.

It usually starts with mindset. You need to shift from, ‘I can’t do this’ or ‘I’ll be terrible’, to, ‘I can do this’. Then the process has begun. You can then have your first real try. You are ready.

Now usually when we are the beginner, we are not very good at it. Walking seems so simple now for most people reading this. But walking usually takes 6-18 months for children to learn the basics and become reasonably capable.

Times tables is another example most people can relate to. The first time you were shown the times tables, it’s unlikely you remembered any of them. But now you could probably provide rapid responses for six times six and 11 times nine.

Like anything in life, most things are achievable by a regular person. Certainly climbing from beginner to intermediate is within most people’s grasp for anything intellectual or physical. It will, however, take some time, effort and focused training. It may even require a coach, teacher or trainer.

Shifting from intermediate to advanced is another leap. This relies more heavily on mindset. This leap requires discipline, a positive mind and the ability to deal with bigger setbacks.

From advanced to professional requires an even greater level of mental fortitude. But it is achievable. Though in this modern era, with so many people prepared to compete for the rewards at the top, you will have to train hard.

Remember, the journey from beginner to winner will usually mean you will be a little shaky at the start. But you need to get through that and shift from uncomfortable to unstoppable to achieve anything.