Scott's Thinking - Page 174 of 181

People Need Encouragement

Posted on March 23, 2020

When you are having tough times, trying something new, stating an opinion or just trying to get through your day, it is always nice to have a few words of encouragement from others. People need encouragement.

It is so easy for people to criticise, condemn, chastise, laugh at and bully. It requires no interest, curiosity or understanding of the other person.

For the most part, people are trying to do their best with what they know. Give them that benefit of the doubt. Assume their intentions are good unless and until you have conclusive proof that they aren’t.

Reflect on whether you are offering enough encouragement to people. It takes so little encouragement to light a fire under someone, to build them up. Ask questions. Seek first to understand. Assume their intent is good, even if their route to get their desired outcome isn’t the one you would necessarily choose.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Stephen R. Covey

Remember, how many Presidents, Prime Ministers, Chief Medical Officers, Doctors etc said nothing in the 1800’s and early 1900’s about smoking. Finally someone took the initiative to speak up about the health issues of a very popular pastime. Going against the accepted wisdom is more easily done with some encouragement.

For those of you with kids or young relatives at primary school age, think about how you might talk down about people you disagree with, whether it is journalists, politicians or business people. Then think how you would feel if your children or young relatives treated other children like that. If it’s bullying when young people do it, it must be called bullying when adults do it. Is there ever really a good justification for it?

Imagine what we could do on this planet if everyone stopped criticising and bullying others, and were more curious and gave words of encouragement. Try catching yourself for the next 24 hours. If you’re honest, it is quite revealing.

Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts

The Challenges Ahead

Posted on March 22, 2020

We have all faced significant headwinds in our lives and leaning into the challenges ahead will be similar. There will be days where you will be feeling overwhelmed and maybe beaten, but you will press on and get through this.

I am always amazed at people’s tenacity and inner strength when they decide to get through something. The absolute power that we possess inside is quite incredible. By taking each day and each hour as it comes we can get through just about anything.

There are 1,440 minutes in a day and there are 84 days in 12 weeks. So we have 120,960 minutes to enjoy or persevere through at this unique time in the UK. When it is all going well, it will go by quick. Though there will be times when you will feel like the clock has stopped. Either way, stay focused on the bright side of everything.

Enjoy every minute of this unique period in time. Amazing things will happen in your relationships and your life in general, if you stay focused and approach everything, and everyone, with the best intent.

If the challenges get too much, put yourself in a 5 minute time out. Do some slow, deep breathing and relax your mind and thoughts. Remember that in the moment, everything is super important and feels like it really matters. However, the events of that moment are unlikely to be remembered 200 years from now.

If I get too caught up in the moment, I mentally picture myself shooting up into space, all while looking down as the ground disappears below me. As I am rising up, the streets get smaller and I see other cities. As I go higher, the details blur into cities, farmland, forest and large bodies of water. Soon I’m floating in space and looking down at this little blue ball, balanced perfectly in an orbit in space, which has seen wars, peace, contagion and warmth.

In that moment, I remember how significantly insignificant what is happening probably is in the very grand scheme of things. So I breathe and smile as I return back down to earth. Refreshed with perspective, I am once again prepared for the challenges ahead. Try this a few times and let me know if it works for you.

Action Gratitude Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts

Happy Mother’s Day! ?

Posted on March 21, 2020

Please do not go and see your mother today. It is the greatest gift you can give her. Yes, it is Mother’s Day in the UK on Sunday 22nd of March 2020, but please do not go to visit.

Your Mother gave you life and the most important thing you can do at this time is help protect hers.

My marvellous Mom lives 3,300 miles away, across an ocean, so there is little chance, in this no-fly era, that I would go and see her today anyway. But for those of you that live close enough to drive, or even walk, I strongly urge you to use Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, etc. or you can simplify and just call her on the phone.

The very last thing you want on your conscience, for the rest of your life, is to think that you may have caused your Mother’s early passing. If she were to come down with the symptoms of this virus within 14 days of your visit, you would probably never forgive yourself. Don’t take that chance this year.

And don’t use the justification that she is getting on and may not have many more, so we want to make this one special. Don’t turn many more into no more.

Have a lovely video chat or a phone call. Remember, she probably grew up in an era where people used the telephone anyway. It will remind her of the days of her youth.

If you really want to make an impact, by reminding her how wonderful she is and how much she means to you, spend the rest of your day crafting a lovely letter to her detailing why. You could even get it done in the morning.

Thank you and best wishes to all of the lovely Mother’s out there.

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

The Bright Side

Posted on March 20, 2020

There is always a bright side.

Sometimes we don’t see it and sometimes we don’t want to see it. If we are still reeling from an event or situation, we may not feel like looking on the bright side.

Whether you see it, don’t want to see it or don’t feel like embracing it, it is still there. Once you step over the little chasm in your mind, and sometimes begrudgingly admit it, it does feel pretty good. So why not get to that spot and start smiling as soon as you can.

From today, soon or recently for others, many of us will be experiencing the new normal. We may enjoy the idea of bits of it and loathe the thought of other bits. Either way, this is our global new normal. So we may as well look on the bright side.

Here are a few things I’ve observed:

It feels so calm. The streets are quiet with very few cars or pedestrians. We just need to be at home – nowhere else. No detailed and challenging calendars to check or update. Time with my son – we went for a run today along the quiet river path and enjoyed a great chat and sprint to the finish: he’s fast. We celebrated a big birthday of a friend on a Zoom conference call involving 3 countries. We cheered on two others having birthdays on Saturday and Sunday too.

People have been friendly, helpful, supportive, calm, pretty optimistic and resolute. Air and general pollution seems to be dropping rapidly and should continue to do so during the new normal period. This is fantastic in general but even more so for all the people that wanted more immediate and severe action on climate change – now it is happening. Schooling is going 100% online – how fascinating it will be to see how it works.

The world has changed. It seems like it happened overnight. There will be challenges ahead.

Remember to look on the bright side of everything. Make it part of your new normal.

Action Gratitude Time

We’re All In This Together

Posted on March 19, 2020

What a fascinating time to be here on Earth. What a story you’ll have to tell once we see the back of this situation. This may be the first time in the history of the human species that the whole world has the same common enemy, at the same time, and is communicating in real time, globally, to coordinate and win.

And we all have front row seats.

We are all experiencing this event with slightly different perspectives, depending on what experience, and life awareness, we have had before. For example, despite living in the same household all their lives, each of my children will use their slightly different past experience to make sense of the times we are living through. And, despite everyone on Earth having different perspectives, it would seem that we all want the same outcome: To beat the bug.

I love how individuals and groups are stepping up and popping up to do great things together and for others. Whether it is the medical or scientific world pulling together to find solutions or community spirited groups providing extra help in the local neighbourhood. Our neighbourhood group put a typed note through everyone’s door this week with an offer to help anyone on the street, for them to join the group Whatsapp, and/or call on them if we needed anything (it gave names, numbers and emails of those ready to help). How wonderful! Being fairly new to the street, I felt it was a great idea and really made us feel part of a caring group.

Everyone seems to be pulling together to make the best of the situation. Whether it is with jokes, memes, words of encouragement or empathy, I’ve been struck by the wonderful humanity of it all.

Now is our time to rise to the occasion. Be the best you can possibly be. Help others who are struggling at this moment. Think of who that might be and let them know you are available. Just knowing can be all some people need.

Keep confident and smiling.

We’re all in this together.

Observe Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Context Is Critical. As Are Facts.

Posted on March 18, 2020

We are facing unprecedented times. But they are not nearly as scary as media (both classical and social), and your mind, are making this out to be.

In the UK, there were 616,014 deaths in 2018. That is nearly 1,700 deaths PER DAY. Coronavirus deaths in the UK since it started, about 30 days ago, now total 104. (in context, over the same 30 days, approximately 51,000 people have died in the UK).

Now lets play out some simple, specific numbers. We will assume the absolute largest number of infections possible in the UK, which would be 100% of the total population or 67,785,240. Then, let’s take the current mortality and expected survival rate, globally, based on confirmed cases of 218,723 and confirmed deaths of 8,943 so far. Using these figures we get a 4.1% mortality rate and 95.9% projected survival rate.

If we remove Italy from these numbers, but leave in the other 172 countries and territories, with at least one confirmed case, the rates change to 3.3% mortality rate and 96.7% survival rate. Finally, if we use Germany, as a best case, which has the 5th highest number of confirmed cases at 12,327 and deaths at 28, it would give them a mortality rate of 0.2% and therefore a survival rate of 99.8%. This is only 0.1% higher than the seasonal flu. Context is critical.

So perhaps at best, we could direct the 70+ population, along with those with underlying conditions of all ages, to self-isolate, and request that the rest of the country get this virus. This could lead to between 153,969 and 2,236,912 deaths. However, experts believe only 50%-80% of people will actually get infected, which could bring these numbers down by almost half. In addition, by removing the vulnerable population from the equation, we are more likely to trend closer to the 153,969 or a UK survival figure of 67,631,271.

Context is critical. The world governments have pumped trillions of dollars into the economy, in the last week, to no positive effect. Few people are consuming, other than the basics, due to fear or government imposed restrictions on movement. And we have only just begun, as we have just passed 200,000 confirmed cases with millions more expected. With markets collapsing, millions predicted to be unemployed and/or the governments straining to pay for everything and everyone to keep going, might there now be a better way?

Perhaps the healthy 6-60 year olds could offer to get this mild (for healthy people) flu-like virus, while the higher risk groups self-isolate (as mentioned above). Experts seem to think 50%-80% of the population will be infected at some point. If this is inevitable, why not sign up now to get it and save the economy and livelihoods and still save a lot of people. If you want to read a very brief draft outline of one way we could do this, click here.

Yes, there may not be enough hospital beds. But people tend to die in the field of battle during a war. And this is looking a lot like a war.

Observe Progress Think About It

Stop Generalising And Get Specific

Posted on March 17, 2020

You may be frequently frustrated if you often use generalisations and the sample size of one. Using words like “they”, “the government”, “everybody” and “no one” can feel good at the time, and can help you speak more quickly, but to your detriment.

In the long run, it is to your advantage to be more precise in the words you speak.

Being more precise in your word selection and word order will make you sound like a more polished individual. You will be clearer and others will understand you better.

A particular time in life, when being specific is more beneficial, is when you are setting your goals. ‘They said I could join them to climb a mountain‘ is good but not nearly as useful as “My climbing instructor, Dave, said I could join their expedition to climb to the base camp of Everest on the 15th April 2020”.

Just for this morning, try to catch yourself each time you make sweeping generalisations. Then for each one, try to replace it with a more specific word or phrase.

(Expert level: Note also the generalisations that come out of the mouth of others and see what impact that has on you and their comments). Enjoy!

Action Think About It

Be Clear About What You Can Do

Posted on March 16, 2020

In fast paced and challenging times, it can be good to pause, breathe deeply and remember the following:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr

Do what you can do today to make it a great day despite the bumps in the road.

Action Financial Goals, Results & New Thinking Progress Reframe your thoughts Think About It Time

The Coronavirus Decision: Save Lives or Livelihoods?

Posted on March 15, 2020

Do we allow up to 264 million people to die worldwide while trying to maintain livelihoods globally or do we attempt to save those people, while corporate, government and personal finances, and therefore all livelihoods, are shredded beyond recognition?

Save lives or save livelihoods? That is the big picture, tough decision that Governments, and their citizens, need to consider, and fairly quickly.

I outlined some of the key considerations in my post the other day which you can access by clicking here.

Most people will have an automatic gut reaction to what is the ‘right’ answer. Try putting that reaction on pause, gather some info, and really think through the next year of unintended consequences. Think like a President or Prime Minister who has to consider millions of others in all their different circumstances.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

“Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)”

Posted on March 14, 2020

The world has changed. Completely. 2020 will be known as a pivotal year in human history. And it has only just begun! With more and more countries reducing people’s daily activities, and several countries going into full lockdown, the landscape is changing rapidly.

As with anything that changes, especially if it seems like it is getting worse, we feel nostalgic and sometimes sad for our loss of what was. How good we had it back then; back in 2019.

That’s when this song starts playing in my head. A power ballad by American glam metal band, Cinderella. “Don’t know what you got (Till it’s gone)”. It was released on the 21st May 1988: like an early birthday gift to me.

Although a love song, its melancholy piano, soaring guitar and anguished vocals have frequently reminded me over the years to appreciate all the amazing things we have. Every day.

It’s so easy to appreciate what has gone – though it’s then too late. Yet, it can be quite difficult to appreciate things in the moment. Mostly, this is because many of us are not practicing appreciation everyday. You’ll have more joy in your life if you strengthen this ability on a daily basis.

So today, more than ever, it’s important to appreciate how delicately balanced life and the world is. As people are going through hardships with the loss of loved ones or working through unforeseen financial challenges, be kind, be patient and be tolerant.

Take a few minutes right now to stop everything, close your eyes and appreciate the life you have right now. When you are done reflecting, you can even make a list of 10 things you appreciate in your life right now. Then keep this with you to review daily as the challenges of the days ahead unfold.

Being able to breath without a respirator might be one. The simple act of walking might be another. The ability to buy milk (the money you have, the shop nearby, the milk being in the shop, someone having milked a cow at 5am – remember, I grew up on a dairy farm).

Breathe it in and enjoy it now.