CategoriesReframe your thoughtsThink About It

What Would Your Grandma Say?

In my youth I found that this was a good barometer of what would be acceptable for my thoughts and actions. “What would your Grandma say?”, was a phrase that I would run through my mind in situations that may have been pushing the boundaries.

The idea I created in my head went like this. I would imagine the scenario whereby my grandmother picked up the newspaper or turned on the news and there was a report about me, her grandson. The report would highlight what I had said, done, written etc. and paint it in both a balanced and then a biased way.

Then I would go visit my Grandma and have a conversation with her about it. If that whole idea of her finding out what I did, or my having to discuss it with her, made me uncomfortable, that was an indicator to stop before doing anything.

I was telling my son about this recently and suggesting that it might be a useful guide for him. Especially in this era of one strike and you’re out.

You may already have your own system that works for you. That life guide that keeps you from pushing the envelope too far.

If so, great!

However, if not, what would your Grandma say?

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CategoriesObserveThink About It

Be Careful Of That Kodak Moment

Have you ever held onto your position or point of view too long? It gets embedded for maybe the wrong reasons. Be careful of that Kodak moment. That moment when you realise, “things have changed and I am out of touch now”. That can be a painful moment if it is left too long.

You see, we can get attached to our position. We can also defend it. Perhaps we have fought for it. And it seems to have been right. This is because many people have supported us and the results have been very favourable. This is just how Kodak felt over the decades of being in the photography industry.

They felt they had an unassailable position. Things just wouldn’t change that much and they would remain the go-to name in that space. As the leader in that space, they wasted over a decade. Then, the upstarts and technology, fads and trends saw the whole field get turned on its head.

By the time they realised that they had missed the boat on digital photography, it was too late. And so, most people had already moved on to a new party. In addition, they found other players who were far more prepared for the changing world ahead.

We saw this with records, books and cars. Where else do you see the newer ideas and people supplanting the old? Be careful of that Kodak moment.

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Hoping But Not Happening

Hope is a very powerful and optimistic state of mind. However, despite its power it is not action or results. Hoping but not happening is an all too common situation for many, many people.

Sometimes people will use the word when they know they will not be making it happen. It’s as if their response has a silent ‘but’ underlying it. For example, if I ask one of my children if they can tidy their room before going to school, I may get the following reply. “I hope so”.

It’s a great reply. It’s optimistic and fills me with hope that it could happen. So the word is a feel-good filler. However, the child may have no intention of doing anything to tidy their room. This happens in a work setting too.

Hoping someone calls, is ok, or gets the job are all better than worrying about the opposite outcome. So in that sense, hope is a fantastic and positive word.

Hoping gets your mind thinking about the positive outcomes you would like to have in your life. The next step is to get curious and ask yourself what actions you could take to move those hopes and dreams into your reality.

When you take action, hoping but not happening will no longer be a part of your life.

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CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughts

Happy With Your Default Lens?

When we are conscious, we can choose to look at the world from different angles and through several different lenses. Are you happy with your default lens?

Usually we have a preferred, or default, lens that we see the world through. This lens can energise us, depress us, frustrate or inspire. It can help us to be hopeful, critical, cynical, fearful or resilient.

The wild thing about this lens is that, just like with a pair of glasses, you can change it. With a different prescription you will see things better or worse.

With the best lenses you can see with greater clarity, less effort and more enjoyment. If your glasses aren’t well prescribed, life can seem fuzzy, take more effort and you may have more headaches and frustration.

With the right lenses you can focus on the good in everyone. You can accept the imperfections and be grateful for seeing people strive to make life better. You might even be able to see what others are trying to do rather than project diabolical assumptions onto them.

Most people want a better life for themselves, their loved ones and the world. Usually it is in that order. They may see a different route than you to achieve that. Encourage people while they improve rather than try to destroy them because you think you could live their life better.

Are you happy with your default lens?

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CategoriesActionTime

Spending Time Wisely

It’s fascinating to watch ourselves try to save money but spend precious moments doing it. Spending time wisely is almost an art form and partly a science. Using our time on positive and useful things is much more beneficial to us than squandering it.

It is an interesting balance with time. As we do not know how much of it we will have, we want to make good and efficient use of it. In addition, we do not know how well we will be physically and/or mentally through our lifetime, even if it is a long one.

So there are trade offs. You have choices and decisions to make. And these choices are frequently adjusting to new realities. Therefore your decisions may change.

When you are young, or much older, most people have more time than money. Therefore they will wait in a 10 minute queue or walk 20 minutes to save a pound or two. As a person acquires more money they are more likely to spend it to save time, rather than spend time to save money.

You can earn more money in life but there is little you can do to extend your natural time on earth.

In addition, feed your mind with positive, hopeful, helpful and wonderful things. Spending time wisely also means making little room for complaint, anger, negative and frustrating information or entertainment. The cost is too high.

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CategoriesHealth & FitnessReframe your thoughts

The Case For Cold Showers

Just the thought of a cool, cold or icy shower can set people shivering. But the upside can be worthwhile. The case for cold showers can be made more easily than actually taking them.

The cold shower can increase mental fortitude. The relative shock to your system can awaken your spirits and nerve endings. The tingling of being incredibly alive is instantaneous. In addition, that sensation can stay with you for hours and the memory of it even longer.

Not only does the experience alert your body to the day ahead, you’ll feel dynamic and heroic for seeing it through.

And for you conservationists out there, you might gladly shut off the water to soap up. The break can be greatly appreciated in the early days of testing the waters on this theory. As you build stamina and resilience and, dare I say, grow to enjoy the experience, you will not need the break.

Having a few choice motivational chants, words or phrases on the tip of your tongue might be useful too. Furthermore, resolving to complete the shower at the lower temperature is a good way to start.

Moving from uncomfortable to unstoppable in your life is not easy. However this is one step you can try at home and further build your mental strength. That is the case for cold showers.

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CategoriesActionHealth & FitnessThink About ItWeight

Become A Magnet

Make yourself so attractive that your life’s desires move toward you. Become a magnet for your desires. Whether you would like health, happiness, money, a particular relationship or job, make sure your relative attractiveness is high.

To become a health magnet, make yourself attractive to health. Eat appropriate amounts of high nutrient foods. Exercise and move more. Maybe even surround yourself with a few more people that seem to have attracted health into their lives. Certainly one should develop a healthy mindset.

Becoming a relationship magnet follows a similar path. If the object of your desire prefers happy people, practice being happier. If they seem to have a proclivity for fit people, develop a love of fitness.

Money is a challenge for a lot of people. Many do not say very nice things about money itself. And some people have been known to cast aspersions on people who have accumulated some level of money or wealth. If you were frequently suspicious of a friend or spoke poorly of them, they would not stay with you for long. Same thing for money.

If you think bad thoughts and say bad things about health, relationships, money or other things, you’re less likely to get the best from them. The saying that ‘misery loves company’ rings true for people who are a misery magnet.

Become a magnet of desirability instead.

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CategoriesActionObserveThink About It

Some Will And Some Won’t

People can be divided up into these two categories. Regardless of the situation or context, some will and some won’t. Get familiar with which people will end up in which group.

Perhaps you’ve invited people to a meeting. A group of the invitees will come to the meeting. Several people will not. Maybe you’ve transacted business with some people. Some will pay you and a few will not.

Having an opportunity fall into your lap is wonderful. There are those that will act on it straight away and use that opportunity to grow and succeed. Though there are always some people that will hide, shirk or otherwise ‘miss’ the opportunity.

The trick is to not get discouraged. Simply remember that some will and some won’t. Then focus on those that do. Help them. Work with those people. Forget about the people that won’t do their own push ups. Unable is one thing. However, choosing not to make the effort that will benefit them, that is another story.

I’m willing to help people that are willing to help themselves. Even better if they can take a little direction. Being able to see the reality they are in and confront the brutal facts of that reality is also beneficial.

So, in general, are you one that will or won’t?

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CategoriesReframe your thoughts

What Does Awesome Look Like?

Have you been drifting along without inspiration? Ever feel like you want to move forward but can’t? Ask yourself, “What does awesome look like?”. Whether you think it is attainable or not, is not the issue. Just start musing and mulling over the question.

One reason people drift along directionless for a short, or a long time, is lack of an inspiring vision. Let yourself dream. Open up your mind to amazing possibilities. Brainstorm. Let all thoughts be allowed.

Sometimes we shut out our real dreams and transforming visions because we don’t think we can get there. Or we don’t deserve it. Sometimes we will think it is silly to consider it, want it or believe we could make it happen.

Put all of that to the side for the moment. It is not about you and what you can have or do. It is about this one simple question. What does awesome look like?

Let your mind consider the exciting possibilities. A bit like watching a fantastic movie. Or maybe flipping through a favourite magazine or your Instagram feed.

Whatever inspires you with excitement and wonderful possibilities is what you need to allow in.

Once you find out what awesome looks like for you, and you’ve settled on it, make it yours. Start taking some steps toward making this exciting vision become your reality. You will drift along directionless no more!

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CategoriesActionObserveReframe your thoughtsVideo

How Bad Do You Want It?

Most things are a passing fancy. We talk about our wants and all those nice to haves. The question is though, “How bad do you want it?”.

I know when I want something bad enough now. I watch what I do. And that is how you know if someone else has an item as their #1 priority. Do not listen to what they say. Simply watch what they do. Success leaves clues and a trail of debris – like sawdust.

There may be emotional or logical reasons why you aren’t doing what you say you want. But they are still reasons and not results. You choose to get distracted. The person accountable for your life is that person staring back at you in the mirror.

I am grateful that my friend Eric sent me the attached video about 5 years ago. Since then, I have watched it many times. I get very pumped up when I see it. It has some hard hitting truths in it. It reminds me whether I want something bad enough. Am I making the effort of a champion? Can I do better than this if I played my A game?

If you think you’re trying and not getting the results you want, watch this video. In less than 15 minutes, you will have the answer to the question, “How bad do you want it?”.

Pain is temporary. Massive action not words.
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