Scott's Thinking - Page 197 of 217

An Ad Hominem Reply

Posted on July 28, 2020

If you are going to have a discussion, the focus should be on the content. Unfortunately far too many people today use an ad hominem reply. That is to say, they attack the character of the person rather than try to understand or discuss the other person’s point of view.

Unfortunately this is a weak debating tool or tactic. It may be effective in the immediate term but it rarely advances any cause.

When someone uses an ad hominem reply, I tend to think less of that person. I will also give extra weight to the other person’s perspective. By sticking to the detail of the discussion point, the focused debater sounds more intelligent and becomes more persuasive.

Not everyone sees it that way.

Sometimes people will ‘pile on’ and cheer the negative personal attacks. They may even add their own insult or character challenge.

One may feel better in the moment for attacking someone this way but it is not helping to further discussions. Be mindful not to fall into this trap.

You are better than this.

If you do not agree with someone’s opinion, you can try to understand it by asking curious questions, not sarcastic ones. You can also simply let them have their opinion. Finally, you could politely explain why you hold a different opinion and then leave it there.

Action Financial Health & Fitness Think About It Time

Plan Ahead

Posted on July 27, 2020

It’s a good idea to look out beyond the hour, day and week. Some people plan important events years in advance. When you plan ahead, it changes your perspective on life, time and prioritisation.

Our life insurance broker rang me today. He wanted to check that I was happy with the cover we had. Was it the right amount, coverage and term (length of time)? All seemed fine.

However, it did get us running a few scenarios. How old would we be in 10, 20 and 30 years? We also needed to calculate how old the kids would be on those dates. The other point to consider was specific life moments falling in those time periods. Big events we considered were; helping with the children’s university costs, business start up costs and/or potential wedding costs.

Planning ahead does make you confront some brutal truths. In particular, it reminds you that you will either be much older one day, or the alternative. And you should consider that ‘much older’ comes with more than simply more candles on your birthday cake. Your health and wellness is likely to change somewhat.

You plan ahead for things that you want such as holidays, concerts and sporting events. So you should also plan ahead for those events that are inevitable, like ageing and the alternative.

Do it now.

Gratitude Think About It Time

I Like Hanging Out With People Like Me

Posted on July 26, 2020

It always depends on the moment and what I am interested in at the time. However, I like hanging out with people like me. It seems like a natural feeling.

When I listen to rock music, it’s more fun if I am with people who enjoy the same bands. It’s less fun if the people with me don’t enjoy the bands or music genre. And certainly it is not very enjoyable if they simply criticise it or complain about it.

When I go running, I prefer to go with people like me. I prefer to go with people who like running. And ideally they are ready to go in the early morning which is what I prefer. Additionally, it is better going with someone who runs a similar distance and pace too. Though I’m happy to be pushed to go further and faster.

Whether it’s food, sport, holidays or almost anything I can think of, I like hanging out with people like me.

And those people are oftentimes different people for each thing. This is great because they can bring other aspects into the mix too.

It’s great to get different perspectives. But when I want to enjoy myself, I like hanging out with people like me.

Financial Gratitude Think About It

Winning £1 million

Posted on July 25, 2020

It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Most people would be pretty pleased with that sum of money. Winning £1 million seems to be the magic number for a lot of people.

Songs have been written about having a million dollars. People talk about how life would be different if they could just, ‘win a million’. And many people have dreamt about what they would do if they had a million dollars, pounds or euros show up in their life unexpectedly.

Although today £1 million wouldn’t put you in the exclusive group it would have in 1970, it is still an exciting amount of money to most people. Even for someone who has a net worth of £30 million (i.e. assets less liabilities), this amount would probably be warmly received. This is in part because those assets might produce £3 million in income. So an extra 33% more would likely be welcome.

What would you do if you had £1 million turn up in your bank account? Whether it was from an inheritance (long lost Auntie?), a lottery ticket or some fascinating philanthropist doing things differently.

Wouldn’t winning £1 million be an exciting thing? Would you do something exciting and novel? Or something sensible and pragmatic? Perhaps you would do a little of both.

Well, I hope you get to find out sometime soon!

Action Reframe your thoughts

Selective Memory

Posted on July 24, 2020

It is fascinating what we can remember and what we can forget. Having selective memory can be both an advantage and a disadvantage. But if you train your mind, you can make it work better for you.

Women can use selective memory to forget the pain of child birth. I have met several women who said they would not have a second child after the physical pain of the first. However, in some cases, there were more children after that. This is one of the advantages of selective memory. At least it has been for the continuation of the human race.

We can also use this concept to fondly remember ‘the good ole days’. This means we remember the great and good things in our past and tend to forget all the little painful incidents. We remember winning the match but not so much the pain we felt during or after. We remember the graduation but not the mind numbing hours of studying required to obtain the marks for it.

However, we can select poorer memories if we wish. We might focus on unhappy or unhelpful instances. Most people will have a variety of moments they should forget. Especially if it was something they did which didn’t go well.

We should not dwell on our own or other people’s shortcomings or bad moments.

We can use this selective memory power for good. Do not use this to beat ourselves up over something. Nor should we chastise others.

Action Progress

Are You Ready To Go All In?

Posted on July 23, 2020

Have you been holding back recently? Or maybe even for a long time? I am sure there is something on your list. Are you ready to go all in?

There is often something we hold back on. We are getting ourselves ready. We may be preparing the plan or researching some key elements. However, at some point we know we need to get things moving forward with some massive action.

This might mean a late night or two to crack through something. Or maybe it involves doing something we are not as comfortable with. For some, this is marketing and phone calls. Other people may be hesitant to spend a certain level of money.

But today is the day to bite the bullet. It is the day to take massive action and put your plans into high gear. You need to get over that hurdle in front of you. You do not want to still be in this position in 2021. Since, you have the ability, make it happen!

You will never feel 100% ready. But if you are 70% ready, you should just get moving. You will make up more of the plan while you are moving forward. Take the step. Make the call. Feel the sense of accomplishment!

Observe Progress

Marking Your Progress

Posted on July 22, 2020

How do you know you are moving forward? Some situations are more obvious than others, such as moving up a year group at school. Marking your progress outside of school becomes more difficult.

It isn’t impossible. It usually just requires more effort because you have to do your own assessment and tracking. Then you need to judge your level and prepare for the next step.

At school, the teachers prepare the training exercises and become your accountability partner. They also assess your work and keep track of your test scores and engagement level. The department of education maintains the structure. For example, we know that after your 3rd year at school, most children move along to their 4th year.

In a work environment, your immediate boss takes the place of the teacher. They set the work to be done, assess it and keep track of your performance. The company directors determine pay and organisational structures.

Your personal development is usually up to you to organise. And what your next role will be is also in your hands. You may choose to stay in the company or try a different company or industry. Sometimes people try something entirely new.

Whatever it is you are doing, marking your progress is important. On a scale of 1-10 for each category, where are you with work, relationships, wealth, health and fitness? Now make note of where you want to be and plan how to close those gaps.

Financial Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts Weight loss

Becoming One Of Them

Posted on July 21, 2020

If you have been trying to change something in your life, without success, check your perceptions. The ‘becoming one of them’ way of thinking might be holding you back.

We all have certain perceptions, stereotypes or biases about things and people. Some of these are very mild and some awaken deep feelings in us.

Some examples where perceptions can be stronger could be; how you see parenthood, a university degree, body weight, a political party, wealth or being organised.

These examples, or others, may not elicit any strong emotion in you. Though some people will have a noticeable level of tension around a few of these subjects.

This tension is good to be aware of and explore. It often comes out in the language used when discussing the topic. Some common phrases are; the wealthy are greedy or being organised is boring.

I’ve been researching and thinking a lot about this movement between tribes and the challenges people encounter. After discussing it with a friend on our run this morning, I heard this episode (#950) of the Quote Of The Day show. It’s a great podcast and this episode was timely.

Although Lisa Jimenez is talking about millionaires, I believe that the ‘becoming one of them‘ thinking applies to most changes a person would like to make.

Remember, say good things about the tribe you’re trying to become a part of. When you don’t, your mind won’t let you join them and have their benefits.

Financial Gratitude

The Freedom Factor

Posted on July 20, 2020

What does freedom mean to you? Is it about going where you like, saying things you think, not having to work or having any dependents? The freedom factor determines a lot about your life.

For many people, they can go where they like. In addition, within a very wide spectrum, they can say what they think. In many developed countries, you can already choose not to work and survive with social assistance programs. Finally, you can choose not to have a partner or children or pets that depend on you. That’s usually in your control.

So, a great many people already have freedom. Sometimes we don’t realise how fortunate we are. Because there are still quite a few people, and places, that don’t have these basic freedoms, which many people take for granted. And it wasn’t that long ago you could have lost your head for being in the wrong spot, saying the wrong thing or not paying bills.

Which leads us on to financial freedom. This is the freedom that allows us to choose those things we want to do, when we want to do them. For many this equates to retirement.

But if you love what you do, you may never ‘retire’.

Action Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts

What You Focus On Grows

Posted on July 19, 2020

If you want to become great at something or develop a skill, you need to focus on it. What you focus on grows and what you ignore, doesn’t grow.

Back to the farm days for a moment to make this clear. If you focus on planting seeds and tending to the weeds, you’ll be able to grow crops. If you focus on the back porch, the rocking chair and a cold beer, you may not have any crops in the autumn.

Fans of Star Wars have also witnessed how your mind can shift depending on what you focus on. We saw this with Anakin Skywalker when he focused on being the best Jedi. However, after the sad situation with his mother, he began to focus on hate, anger and revenge. This grew inside him until it consumed him, which didn’t turn out well.

Thankfully we can stay in the light by focusing on pleasant things. It really is your choice. Though as we know, it requires effort, patience and time.

Focus on your accomplishments and the success you see in your future. Write these out and review them daily. Add to them whenever you can as well. Remove anything from your day that makes you start to feel negative, whether it is news, specific conversations or situations.

What you focus on grows. Make sure you are building a better you each day.