Life is punctuated with tough choices. Should I revise for exams or spend time with my friends? Do I apply for a better job or build my own company? Is it better to spend time with my aging parents or with my young children?
Get clear on what’s important to you now and in the longer term. This will help you make better choices and decisions.
When there are too many choices, and you didn’t arrive with a specific one in mind, you can be paralysed with indecision.
Narrow it down quickly to three by selecting your favourites and/or deleting the least liked by you.
Make a list of all the benefits of those that remain. Best one wins!!
Would you rather be given £1 million today or wake up tomorrow morning?
If you would rather wake up tomorrow morning, you chose that over £1m. When you wake up, you should at least be as happy as someone who was just given £1m, since waking up must be better than getting the £1m.
You choose to smile, to be fit, to take on challenges. Live every ounce of today. It’s the only day you get. But you can make it better than expected in lots of little ways.
What are the tough choices you have to make daily? What to buy for lunch? Which clothes to wear? Where to meet up with friends?
Sometimes we have to make far more difficult choices. Occasionally we have to decide whether to have an operation or not? Or what to do with an aging parent. Other choices may involve divorce, having a baby or going on a unique holiday.
Hopefully you never have to make a decision about who to execute or whether to evacuate a war zone. May you never have to say goodbye to your spouse or children as you go off to war. These are the types of decisions millions of people are having to make right now.
We all have bad moments, days and even years. Spare a thought today though, for all the people caught up in this very challenging time in Ukraine. Many have to make life and death decisions, some do so several times in a day.
With every choice you make, you create your future. Each decision about people, places and things matter. Your choices create you as you select environment, friends and behaviours.
All the choices you have made have got you where you are now. Your decisions have influenced where you live. They also determined your income, family makeup, clothes you wear and hobbies you have.
Every choice you have made, big or small, has moved you in a direction. Your current situation is a result of all those decisions. Hopefully it is mostly good. If there are any areas you would like to change, you need to make different decisions for your future.
Want to stop drinking? Make different decisions than you do now. Decide to not go to the pub. Or, if you do, drink tea, water or soft drinks. Don’t bring alcohol into the house and you won’t be able to drink at home.
If you want to get your fitness up, then you need to start exercising more. Stop smoking or vaping. Eat healthier foods. Hang around different people. You will succeed quicker if you have healthier people around you. Also, decide to see yourself as a fit and healthy person. This one decision will have a huge impact on your results.
Your choices create you. Keep making better ones every day.
How will you look back on your life? What will be in it? What will have been worth the price you paid? Looking back at 80 is an important exercise to do many times when you are younger.
Imagine you are 80 years old. Can you look back over the span of 80 years and be filled with joy and contentment? There are a lot of tough questions in there. You will have to face your expectations versus reality gap and hope there is positive gap (reality ended up better) rather than a negative one.
It raises some helpful thoughts that should be considered throughout our lives. You might ask yourself the following questions. Am I living a good life? Should I spend more time and energy on family, career, finances, mental health, physical fitness or my community? How can I do more for others or myself? What will I accept or be happy with?
Its going to be harder to achieve anything once you reach your 80’s. There are many that keep going like Warren Buffett. However, you’ll have to have good genes, stay healthy and have a little luck on your side.
You may wish you had worked harder, studied more, saved more money or maintained better fitness. There is still time to change the outcome but you’ll have to put the effort in.
Looking back at 80 should be a delightful experience.
Listen to the words you use. Notice which words others select for their articles and speeches. The words you choose define you.
Remember that what you direct your mind to focus on, your brain will execute. Your mind will also absorb what it sees. Then you tend to become what has been absorbed. So be careful what you watch, read and listen to as it will affect your mood, anxiety and tension.
“Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger… anger leads to hate… hate leads to suffering.”
Yoda
Recall Anakin was a happy young boy. However Tusken Raiders captured his Mom and tortured her. His fears turned to anger and quickly to intense hate which did indeed lead to suffering. Immediate suffering for the entire Tusken Raider group and extensive long term mental suffering for Anakin.
He said he hated them and they were animals. Then he became what he said they were. His focus on hate led him to became an uncontrollable animal that brought more fear and suffering to more people.
The words you use choose define you. And those you hear, and the pictures you see, have an impact on who you become. If you find yourself feeling a little anxious, tense or moody these days, reduce your exposure to the information you are consuming. Or at least the sources it is coming from.
Throughout your life, you will need to choose between two or more options of value. Life is a value hierarchy and you are the constant decision maker.
A simple example of this is what to eat for breakfast. You may have the luxury of choosing between eggs royale or Cheerios. Some people will have more exciting choices and some far fewer. Some don’t have anything to choose from.
Whatever your situation, you then need to make a choice. First you make a choice of your preferred meal. Second, you make a choice about how you see your situation. What’s fascinating is how people perceive their situation.
Some will have all the best cooked, freshest food in the world and be happy. Others will find something to disparage. Those with poor, few or no choices, can find happiness or discontent too.
Extrapolate this out to all of the decisions you make in a day. You are constantly deciding what is more important and less important. Then you decide how you feel about it. Be careful though. Those decisions about how to feel about things, soon will become a habit.
You might not notice, but you may stop appreciating your moments of good fortune. Things may start to seem commonplace. You may become disenfranchised with imperfection.
Life is a value hierarchy. But you are at the controls.
I find it fascinating watching people discuss a topic. Often they will use facts and reasonable points but reach different conclusions. How you see things is a massive determinant in your life.
The US initial jobless claims have been announced by the US Department of Labour. It noted that the weekly claims were down about 110,000. It was roughly 1 million last week. This week it was 880,000. The comparable week in 2019 was circa 179,000.
So some people have noted that there is a downward trend in the weekly jobless claims, which there is. Other people noted that, compared to last year, the jobless claims are about 4.5 times higher, which it is. Both parties are right but they choose different data to make their point.
Some people will emphasise that things are getting better. They may want the incumbent President re-elected so promote the good news. Or their business may depend on the economy improving so they are sounding optimistic in the hopes others will be too. The opposite is also true. In addition, if you want or need more government money, you may highlight the negative numbers.
How you see things is not always clear cut. You often see things to suit the narrative you have in your mind already. With a cloudy vision, you can make decisions detrimental to your future.
I’m not sure many people consciously consider the traits they look for in friends or associates. What do you look for in other people? Are there five or six must have items on your list? Perhaps, like many people, your friendship circle is simply a collection of people you got along with well at some point.
We tend to veer towards groups with people who have similar interests like cars, property, music, surfing or bridge. And usually people bump along meeting others in that group until they find someone who they click with.
Is there a more efficient way to go about this? Speed dating fascinates me for this reason. On the surface it seems rather cold and unromantic. But it has an undeniable efficiency. Whether you have a list of ‘must haves’ or not, people tend to know within a few minutes whether the person has ‘heck yes’ potential or not.
And, if they don’t have the potential, simply catch and release. There are other fish in the sea. Of course the sooner you find those other fish, the sooner you will find additional joy.
The tough part comes when you find someone you enjoy hanging around with but they are not good for your future. Do you have the strength and discipline to cut them loose?
Become clear on what you want in a person you spend time with. Like a holiday, job, spouse, business partner or doctor, you’re going to spend important time there/together. You might as well set some specific and high criteria.
