Tag: Communication

CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughtsThink About It

Shorthand Communication Is Rarely Good

Posted on January 20, 2024

“What does Iran want” is a headline in one of the UK’s top newspapers. The shorthand generalisation isn’t helpful but it’s shorter and catchier than, “What does Iran’s current leader want?”

When we say Iran we aren’t referring to all 88 million people. I imagine, like anywhere, there is a variety of viewpoints on most things. The leader might want something different to his leadership team, pro western citizens, secular or Sunni followers and from those wanting to conquer than go in peace.

So be careful when you hear shorthand or generalisations and think what it might really be like if you dig into the details.

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CategoriesActionGratitudeTime

Let Things Slide

Posted on April 3, 2021

Sometimes there is just too much on. Though there are also times when life has a dramatic twist. In such instances, it may be best to let things slide.

I wouldn’t encourage you to do it too often. Certainly do not make a habit out of it. However, there are times in your life when almost anyone would agree that taking your foot off of the gas a wee bit is a good idea.

When life throws you a curveball in the form of an illness, accident or challenge, you may have to put some things on hold. Similarly, if you should be celebrating a unique milestone, then don’t hold back. This is especially true if it comes as a bit of a surprise, like being on the Queen’s Birthday Honours or something goes into remission.

If this happens, it is a good idea to let the people know who may be the most impacted. Nothing fancy, just a quick, I won’t be in, meeting the deadline, or able to catch up. This should be fine for just about anyone. And as soon as the slide is over, you can get back in touch with those people and others. Let them know you are back on the case and looking forward to the next step.

Very occasionally, you can let things slide.

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CategoriesActionProgressReframe your thoughtsTime

You Need A Full Court Press

Posted on November 14, 2020

Sitting back and waiting for things to happen is not always a good strategy. Sometimes you need a full court press. It’s an extreme defensive strategy used in basketball, which can be seen as a form of intense offensive strategy.

Sometimes you just need to be patient. For example, with a pregnancy, despite any anxiousness, it is generally best to be patient and breathe well. For other things, like buying concert tickets or a property, it can pay off if you continually press things forward.

This is where I like to use the full court press term and analogy. In our experience, people have a specific pace to get things done. When you combine that with other people and their pace, it tends to mean things move at the slowest pace in the group.

Unfortunately, this is not always ideal. This is because there will be times that you have a property opportunity that could disappear if you are not quick. Many people say that it takes months to complete on a property transaction. While that may be true, if you are patient and let the process run at their pace, if you get engaged, you can complete in a few weeks.

The key considerations are next steps, planning and communication.

Then you need a full court press and to continuously move everyone forward each day.

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CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughts

Decoding Communications

Posted on September 30, 2020

Engaging with someone can be tricky business. There is a lot of room for error and misunderstanding. Decoding communications can be helpful but you need to be aware of the pitfalls.

Have you ever thought, “There is no way they can disagree with this point”. And then the other persons finds a way. Why is that? What happened between your very clear and concise thought and their response to it?

First there is your intent. That is reflected in how you say something. Are you being bossy, suggestive, argumentative or condescending?

Then there are also the words you use and the order you use them. Words can mean different things to different people at different times. For example, we often get a giggle at our house when referring to pants. For the Canadian parents, pants are trousers. Whereas the British children more commonly know pants as underwear. But there are other words which can elicit quite strong emotional responses.

There is also the element of who is saying it. “You are chatting again”, might have a very different impact on a couple of teenagers if it comes from their teacher. But if it is said by a friend at lunch time, it might come across with more humour.

Decoding communications can be challenging. These are just some of the issues you can encounter.

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CategoriesObserveProgressThink About It

I Am Trying To Understand You

Posted on June 1, 2020

Do you listen to understand or do you just want to tell people what you think? I am trying to understand you. However, it takes patience and sometimes the ability to hold two different, and maybe even uncomfortable, thoughts in my mind at the same time.

If I am listening to you, I will need you to be clear about what you’re trying to say. There are so many word and sentence combinations. Could your words be interpreted in any other way?

Word selection, sentence structure and communication are all skills worth enhancing. These skills can be learned, practiced, improved upon and developed to an exceptional standard.

To improve, it requires the communicator to pause and reflect on what they wish to say. They then should select the best words, in the best order, to convey the desired message.

In addition, communication can work even better if the speaker/writer first thinks about what they wish to be said. If there are a number of ideas understood, often the best response is a clarifying question. With this in mind, I have, at times, responded to a question that wasn’t actually asked.

Become more aware of what is being communicated. Listen with intent to understand. Practice thinking and reflecting more. Before responding, get precise in your mind.

Most people want the same things. However, miscommunication, poorly worded questions and reactive responses can make everything seem far more difficult.

I want to make comments that progress a conversation or situation. Merely prolonging it is not usually an optimal, or enjoyable, use of time.

In order for the world to work better, I am trying to understand you. Do you understand what I mean?

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CategoriesActionGratitudeTime

We’re All In This Together

Posted on March 19, 2020

What a fascinating time to be here on Earth. What a story you’ll have to tell once we see the back of this situation. This may be the first time in the history of the human species that the whole world has the same common enemy, at the same time, and is communicating in real time, globally, to coordinate and win.

And we all have front row seats.

We are all experiencing this event with slightly different perspectives, depending on what experience, and life awareness, we have had before. For example, despite living in the same household all their lives, each of my children will use their slightly different past experience to make sense of the times we are living through. And, despite everyone on Earth having different perspectives, it would seem that we all want the same outcome: To beat the bug.

I love how individuals and groups are stepping up and popping up to do great things together and for others. Whether it is the medical or scientific world pulling together to find solutions or community spirited groups providing extra help in the local neighbourhood. Our neighbourhood group put a typed note through everyone’s door this week with an offer to help anyone on the street, for them to join the group Whatsapp, and/or call on them if we needed anything (it gave names, numbers and emails of those ready to help). How wonderful! Being fairly new to the street, I felt it was a great idea and really made us feel part of a caring group.

Everyone seems to be pulling together to make the best of the situation. Whether it is with jokes, memes, words of encouragement or empathy, I’ve been struck by the wonderful humanity of it all.

Now is our time to rise to the occasion. Be the best you can possibly be. Help others who are struggling at this moment. Think of who that might be and let them know you are available. Just knowing can be all some people need.

Keep confident and smiling.

We’re all in this together.

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Grouping Can Be Misleading

Posted on January 28, 2020

Canadians are, Brits do, Americans like. Africans think, Latinos say, Asians believe.

I can’t change how everyone communicates, but I’m sure global communication would improve if people made more realistic statements about the group of people they were actually talking about.

I saw a tweet about how, “Canadians criticise Trudeau” for buying $4 doughnuts that were locally sourced, and made, in Winnipeg. It was just some Canadians, not all 37 million. The headline wasn’t clear how many Canadians were criticising, but I tend to read these things as “all” rather than say two hundred. There is a big difference.

Perhaps media rules could be implemented so that when referring to a group of people, the headline must indicate proportionality. So the headline could have started with “100’s of Canadians criticise Trudeau”. This headline doesn’t excite or intrigue as much as the other, but then it shouldn’t.

While we’re at it, perhaps media outlets, and all providers of content, should also be required to include phrases like, “in my opinion” or “in this papers view”. And wouldn’t it be fun if there was a little penalty for those that say things like, “it’s a well known fact” – when it is actually an opinion or simply made up.

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