Habits Archives - Page 2 of 2

Life Is A Value Hierarchy

Posted on September 6, 2020

Throughout your life, you will need to choose between two or more options of value. Life is a value hierarchy and you are the constant decision maker.

A simple example of this is what to eat for breakfast. You may have the luxury of choosing between eggs royale or Cheerios. Some people will have more exciting choices and some far fewer. Some don’t have anything to choose from.

Whatever your situation, you then need to make a choice. First you make a choice of your preferred meal. Second, you make a choice about how you see your situation. What’s fascinating is how people perceive their situation.

Some will have all the best cooked, freshest food in the world and be happy. Others will find something to disparage. Those with poor, few or no choices, can find happiness or discontent too.

Extrapolate this out to all of the decisions you make in a day. You are constantly deciding what is more important and less important. Then you decide how you feel about it. Be careful though. Those decisions about how to feel about things, soon will become a habit.

You might not notice, but you may stop appreciating your moments of good fortune. Things may start to seem commonplace. You may become disenfranchised with imperfection.

Life is a value hierarchy. But you are at the controls.

Action Think About It

What Makes You Decide?

Posted on June 30, 2020

We make decisions every day. There are the thousands of little decisions and the several, or dozens of, much larger decisions. But what makes you decide anything in the first place?

What is it that makes us decide that it is time to brush our teeth? Is there a trigger that helps us with the decisions around the clothes we will wear today or what we will eat for lunch?

Some decisions are instant, like to keep walking or stop. Other decisions are longer term, such as where we will book next year’s summer holiday.

Perhaps many decisions are merely strong habits. If you decide to go to bed because it is 10:00 pm, is it much of a decision if you go to bed every night at that time?

A lot of decisions are the result of measuring pleasure or pain. I might keep walking if I see an old friend up ahead (pleasure pursuit). However, if I see a car hurtling through a red light, I might stop walking across the street (pain prevention).

What makes you decide to support a political party or leader? Which internal system makes those split second decisions while driving at 70 mph?

Could it be your Emotions? Experience? Training? Conditioning? Education? Influence? Peers? Data?

Have an honest moment with yourself and consider what really are the main reasons you make many of your decisions. You may be surprised.

Action Observe Weight loss

Doing What We Know

Posted on June 24, 2020

It may not always be good for us but doing what we know is often comforting. We have ingrained habits and neural pathways that make the familiar easier to do.

This would be fantastic news if we all had fabulous habits from our youth. However many people develop some coping mechanisms, or a few poor habits, when they are young. Development really depends on so many things.

The good habits, and the associated neural pathways, can be great if we’ve stumbled off our path. It makes it easier to get back to our previously efficient, focused and productive selves. Knowing we’ve done it before makes it easier to do again.

Although, it is also important to note that if you have improved various aspects of your life, you need to be careful not to slip into unproductive old ways. This is especially important if those older ways were unhelpful or destructive.

Some old habits, like eating, smoking, gambling and drinking can really disrupt our lives if relived with enthusiasm or without thought.

Another category is simply those little things we enjoy doing but that have minimal impact on our lives. An example of this is flopping on the sofa and listening to a few favourite tunes from younger days. It’s just something you enjoy doing and you know you’ll feel better after it.

By doing what we know, we can improve our lives or have it spiral downward. It can be a constant battle or our saving grace. Though eventually, you can make the good habits a part of your life. By continuing to overwrite our old programming, we can minimise the chance of back sliding.

Action Reframe your thoughts

How I Built A Habit In 1 Moment And You Can Too

Posted on April 28, 2020

I’ve done it a couple of times in the last 12 months so I know it works. Some might say this is backed by science and critics will criticise. Either way, this is how I built a habit in 1 moment and you can too.

To build a habit you must commit to it and make it a ‘must’ in your life. It is that simple.

Here are my proof points.

From the moment I moved house last summer, I committed to going to my wonderful new home every time I left it. I did not go to my old house every day for two months, even though it was only 700 meters away.
At New Year 2018, I decided to train and run two marathons in the spring of 2019. I trained daily and completed both in decent times.
Writing this daily blog. I committed, made it a must, and this is my 110th daily blog in a row. It was automatic from the moment I decided it was a must in my life and I had committed to it.

In James Clear‘s blog post, “How long does it actually take to form a new habit”, he notes two key things of extra interest to me. The first is when he references a study of 96 people which finds it takes exactly 66 days before a new behaviour becomes automatic. The second item of interest was the following quote.

“You have to embrace the process. You have to commit to the system.”
James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits

To me, his quote is more powerful than the small study and countless other studies like it.

I believe habits develop as quickly as you want them to. The more you make it a must, the more likely it will be automatic from day one. For example, how often did you turn up to your old job, or classroom, after the first day at the new one?

Tony Robbins sums it up quite nicely in his quote below.

“The difference between ‘must’ and ‘should’ is the life you want and the life you have.” When something is a must, you find a way.
Tony Robbins

I think people are amazing and can create new habits pretty quickly when determined to do so. Decide it is a must and commit.

This is how I built a habit in 1 moment and you can too.

[NB: This is dedicated to my Nana who was told in her 40’s to quit smoking or never see her grandchildren grow up. She never touched another one and, gratefully, I was almost 30 when she passed.]