In the darkest hours, where every sense is being challenged and the world seems to be aligned against you, keep your humanity.
Remember to listen to the lighter angels. Remember to allow for others to lose their head, get lost or confused or feel passionately about something, even when you know they’ll regret their current stance eventually.
Pride comes before a fall. Be aware enough to see the trickiness in an uneven path.
Be forgiving.
Do you always have to win? Is your perspective the only one allowed? Sometimes your win is humanity’s loss. Be mindful of this.
You see, we all come at things from different perspectives (see my Six Chairs blog post). Some will share the same or similar view while others will be the polar opposite. That is usually fine.
Arguing the point for ‘a win’ is rarely beneficial though. Noting the differences in the conversation and understanding all the various data points is useful. But trying to make the other adopt your perspective, as if it were their own, does not make sense.
It is ok for you to like blue and your friend to like orange. If you like Chelsea and they like Man United, that is fine. No need to name call, disparage or block. Simply accepting that someone else has a different view is better for the whole world and society at large.
Remember that the other person has their experiences and may have different cultural influences. They may have also held these views for many years or decades. So expecting, or insisting, that they change or shift their view in a two hour discussion seems unreasonable.
Let others keep their view. But let them understand the reasons behind your position too. The stories and data have a greater chance of swaying them then militant necessity.
Your win is humanity’s loss. Let it be.
