CategoriesActionGratitudeHealth & FitnessReframe your thoughtsTime

Helping Others

Do they really need your help? Or do you really need them to need you? Are they capable of doing it themselves? Helping others can be a wonderful thing. It can also be done for a variety of reasons.

Altruism is rarely altruistic. Often the person performing the act of kindness or assistance will get a jolt of feel good for helping out. Some enjoy that feeling that comes from helping so much that they continue to help people even if they no longer need it.

One might even make up some symptoms or stories of helplessness to prove their assistance is required. This is where things need a reassessment. We should be aiming to help people to become self sufficient. Teach them to fish, not give them a fish.

No one should be trying to create a situation of learned helplessness. Nor should people be allowing or encouraging this to happen. People like to feel a sense of independence. I believe this is for both the young, the old and everyone in between.

When helping someone or a group of people, have an exit strategy. Know what the end of your useful time looks like and stick to it. Help the other person but ween them off of you.

That is one of the keys to helping others.

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Let Children Be Bored

For many, this might seem counter-intuitive. What about planning and preparing their whole day? If you let children be bored, they will come out the other side of it with a new perspective.

Yes, there may be some whining or complaining for a little bit. However, they will get through that phase and you will too. Be patient.

Children that are bored eventually find something to do. This is often helped if you give some casual suggestions like, ‘read a book‘, ‘build a website‘, or ‘fold these clothes’.

The sooner they learn how to figure out ‘what’s next?’, the sooner they will further develop their independence. Sure there may be some tense moments as you both work through the uncertain and uncomfortable challenges. Though the beauty is on the other side of the chrysalis.

Often, when we are bored, we find out what we really enjoy doing. We will also appreciate things a lot more. We pull out books, toys, and games that we forgot we had. Kids will find the magic that they had forgotten. In addition, they have the satisfaction of setting their own agenda.

So if you want to see greater confidence and independence in your child, let them be bored. You will appreciate it someday and so will your kids.

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