It is fascinating what we can remember and what we can forget. Having selective memory can be both an advantage and a disadvantage. But if you train your mind, you can make it work better for you.
Women can use selective memory to forget the pain of child birth. I have met several women who said they would not have a second child after the physical pain of the first. However, in some cases, there were more children after that. This is one of the advantages of selective memory. At least it has been for the continuation of the human race.
We can also use this concept to fondly remember ‘the good ole days’. This means we remember the great and good things in our past and tend to forget all the little painful incidents. We remember winning the match but not so much the pain we felt during or after. We remember the graduation but not the mind numbing hours of studying required to obtain the marks for it.
However, we can select poorer memories if we wish. We might focus on unhappy or unhelpful instances. Most people will have a variety of moments they should forget. Especially if it was something they did which didn’t go well.
We should not dwell on our own or other people’s shortcomings or bad moments.
We can use this selective memory power for good. Do not use this to beat ourselves up over something. Nor should we chastise others.