Better questions will help you reveal powerful truths for a better future. What exactly do I want my life to be like in precisely 5 years time?
Can you be honest with yourself with that question? We often try to trick ourselves and avoid the brutal facts of reality. It is easier in the short run but it all catches up with us in the longer run.
Ask questions but also listen carefully to the answer. The answers will reveal more than the ones you make up or hear about in the news.
Do you want the world to be a better place or do you simply want it to be run the way you currently feel it should be? These can be wildly different.
Wanting the world to continue to get better is next level politics. Unfortunately, most people would rather trash every opposing or slightly different (could we say diverse) viewpoint, just so they could lead and be in charge.
Most people (maybe 80%) would probably agree with great policies, if they didn’t know which side had suggested them. Unfortunately, our tribal instincts and cultures have us preferring the tribe over the policy.
This happens in global and country politics but also in garden variety conversations with neighbours, family and friends.
Find common ground and notice the nuance. Give and take a little. The world could be a much better place if we noticed that the vast majority of people, deep down, want very similar things.
The easiest way to get a conversation going is to ask questions. Some of those questions they will want to answer in greater detail. Note which those are. Ask more questions in that direction. Then sit back, listen and learn.
Where do I want to be in ten years? Write down 3 versions of your future. Maybe you’ll be retired. Perhaps you are working in your dream area. The other option could involve moving home or country.
What would my ideal life look like? University? Married? Kids? High income job? High status job? Great investments? Retire your parents? Where do I live? What do I do? How many holidays each year? For how long? Where? Doing what?
Am I willing to sacrifice pleasure today for a better tomorrow? Most people aren’t.
Do I need to work on my discipline? Are there some messes I need to tidy up (physical, environmental, mental, emotional, spiritual)? Get one sorted at a time. Start today.
Tough questions will move you forward faster than anything in life. Can you handle the truth?
What do you hope the outcome of your actions will be? What might be the outcome of your actions? Ask these two questions of yourself each time you post on any social media. In addition, you can reflect on these questions after any conversation or physical action you undertake.
Assess the outcome of your actions from your supporters perspective and also your critics. Get the actual outcome. Do not only use your biased or ego-driven opinion.
I felt this concept was timely to address today. In part due to yesterday’s blog post and also due to a tweet I saw earlier today. Finally, it fits in with Section 6, Review, of my forthcoming book, Achieve Anything.
The tweet was from a woman who was not pleased that, and how, someone on the set asked what her role was. The question seemed to be a benign set of words but tone and context would have been helpful to more fully understand.
I didn’t question or comment on the tweet as I only like to add positive comments. This one didn’t feel like there was one available. Or it might not have been seen as such, and that is not my intent either.
I did wonder, for far too many minutes, what her intent was. So many potential ideas, yet few of them positive. Apart from what seemed like some self-indulgence and a viral tweet (80k likes on a 2k account).
Before her, or your, next communication to the world, perhaps one could ask these two questions.
Shouldn’t there be a reason why you do the things that you do? And is the reason the same now as it was when you started on the path? So, what’s the point?
Some days I wonder what the point is. And it is good to remind yourself why you do something. Or at least try to understand why you do something anymore.
We can develop really useful habits but sometimes they become unnecessary. Many years ago, I used to read a newspaper on most days. I greatly reduced that when I asked myself this question. What am I getting from this that benefits me, or anyone else for that matter?
I’ve done the same thing with almost all tv, save for some movies and a few sporting events.
Be careful not to eliminate too much though. That can be a slippery slope into thinking nothing has a point. Which isn’t true. Everything has a point. You simply need to understand what it is for you and others.
For example, I used to run to compete. Then I ran for fun. At one time, I ran to lose weight. I then ran two marathons for a personal challenge. Now I run for fitness, fun, conversation and education. The reason can change.
Just be clear why you do what you do.
What’s the point?
To keep a good pace going, you need to make decisions and move on. Decision velocity is important. Asking yourself and others, ‘What’s Next?!’ is a good way to keep things flowing.
It’s short and easy. It’s clear and concise. Ask this question as soon as you’ve finished your last item. Make this a habit. When you’re working, don’t let a second drift by without you starting on the next item.
You will build up quite a rhythm. You will also notice you get a lot more done. When you are asking yourself great questions like this, your mind can focus. It knows the answer to ‘What’s next?!’.
Your mind will sort, measure and assess what the options are and then let you know what is next. This is great because there is a natural flow and prioritisation to it.
It’s also a good signal to your mind, and to others, that the previous topic has been closed. You’re done with that and moving on. It feels engaged, decisive, and crisp. It feels like good leadership.
I like it better than, ‘Shall we move on’ and some of the other phrases out there.
Give it a try a few times today. Test it and see how you like it. Hopefully, it will work for you as well as it has for others.
Whats next?!
Type a question into Google and it will search, very quickly, and find the answer for you.
Your brain works the same way for questions. Your brain will search for the answer.
So be careful what question you ask it, especially out of frustration. For example, sometimes we use self talk, like, “Why am I so stupid?”, after having done something that seems a little silly to have done (Like forget our keys in the house, leave our tickets on the counter, or miss an appointment.)
Your brain is now required to search for, and find, an answer, or five, that could be correct, just like Google does. (Hopefully you don’t get 17,563,897 responses in one millisecond for that question!). Like Google, your brain tends to find answers that have been given frequently, recently or that others think is correct.
It does not mean it is correct, and the source of the answer may be a bit suspect (your sister or brother, that old boss who was a tyrant, your difficult classmate when you were eight years old, or an ineffective teacher from your past).
So please be very careful what you say, or ask, out loud, or under your breath. Your brain is compelled to give you an answer to that question. Rather, ask those slightly rhetorical questions that you would love to hear the answer to. Perhaps, “What makes me such a great friend?”, “How kind am I?”, “How can I set up my environment to succeed next time”.
Your brain is super powerful. Use it for good and to support you. Try preparing and practicing a few helpful questions right now, and then again throughout the day. Selecting better words, in a better order, and forming better questions, will be life-changing. Go on, give it a try.
