Start together when debating. Ensure you’re both starting from The Alamo. Ensure you both want to get to Times Square. Once you’re clear on where you will start and finish, your discussion will be more fruitful.
Often I begin a conversation with someone and we do not set out the key point in advance. Casual conversations start this way most of the time. It is only when you get to a point where you don’t see eye to eye that any issues occur.
Before getting further involved in those conversations, it can be useful to be clear on what the different perspectives are. When I say to be clear, I mean get quite specific. Most often people will disagree on different points in the discussion. Without being clear and specific, you might think you are discussing the same point. However, I frequently notice that people are talking about the same topic but different points within it.
For example, let’s say the topic was crime. We could even be discussing the idea of whose fault it is that we have crime. Some people will consider it to be the fault of the parents, the person themself, the government for creating the laws, the police for enforcing the laws and a number of other things.
It is best to pick one specific item and discuss it at length. If you start together when debating, you may realise you have more in common then you thought.