Who is telling the story? What is your bias towards them? If you like them, trust them, or are comfortable with them, you are very likely to agree with whatever they say. You will not look deeper, and simply assume they are telling you the truth.
You really need to
“Obviously, she was thinking that….” How is it that we think we are so good at mind reading other people? Oftentimes people express what is on their mind and project it onto others.
Many people make a snap decision and then build a case around their view of the story. “He’s innocent!” And if he really is, then the police, prosecutor, witnesses etc are the real bad people.
They are often afraid to see what the reality could be, especially if they would be seen as taking the view of the other side compared to their usual orientation.
Think about this next time you create a story around something, or hear someone else do it. Where are the facts? Where did the story comes from? Are there elements that have probably been made up to fill in some space and make it more exciting or believable?
Stop yourself next time, especially if you’re making up negative points. Create lovely stories if you’re going to make stuff up.
We all have stories. Stories of our youth and everything since then. For instance, we could recount how the world impacted us and how we impacted the world. Keeping your stories alive is a fun part of the process of re-living those halcyon days.
Before bed, I was telling the boys a few stories from my farming days in Canada. It struck me how few stories people probably know about others. It also made me think how the art of, and need for, storytelling are changing.
Imagine how many stories Captain Tom Moore has from his 100 year life. He was born in 1920. Consequently he would have had his formative years during the Great Depression. After that, he would have spent his early 20’s caught up in a World War.
His impression of the airplane, radio, tv, car, internet, medicine, political changes and mobile phones would be fascinating.
Unfortunately, many people’s stories will have faded into the fabric of the universe. The challenge was that there weren’t many ways to record them, keep them safe and pass them along.
Quite the opposite is happening now. Teens and tweens of today are able to capture so much on video, audio and by written word given the technology available at the moment. In the meantime, people are becoming more forthcoming with content. In addition, the ability to capture it has become easier and cheaper.
Consequently, more people are adding more content to the universe. As a result, their children could spend their lifetime immersed in video, and other medium, learning about their family history.
Keeping your stories alive may no longer be the challenge it once was. The new challenge may become that people won’t have or take the time, or have the inclination, to hear many of them.
Stories may no longer fade into the fabric of the universe but rather they might fade into the fabric of The Cloud.
Stories are often easier to remember than just the facts on their own. Additionally, stories tend to have more depth and nuance than facts, so they tend to invoke specific feelings. Stories can also be embellished, intentionally or unknowingly. With stories, we can highlight different elements depending on our mood, our audience or our intent.
A simple example of this is how you describe the big party you attended Saturday night. It is usually a little differently highlighted when retelling it to your friends rather then your boss or mother-in-law.
Stories are also personal. Those that strike a chord with us are more easily remembered. Given that decisions are based on emotions first, and personal stories are in our lives because they invoke an emotion, we probably allow stories too much influence over many of our own decisions in life.
“I would do that, but I am not smart enough.” “I have always struggled with my weight.” “My mother always said I was like that.” “I won’t go for that promotion because my teacher said I wasn’t very good at public speaking.” “I’m too old.”
These are all examples of the type of stories that hold people back from achieving their personal potential.
However, as with a tv (or website), we can change the channel and thereby the story that it is playing. Although we can choose to stay on this channel, while we believe and live out the current stories we tell ourselves, we can also choose to change the channel and change the stories we tell ourselves. You always have a choice.
Listen closely to those unhelpful stories that swirl in your head and are too readily voiced.
Then, create new, more empowering, and exciting stories for your life. And repeat.
Go on. Change the channel.
