CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughts

Parenting Predicts People’s Personality

If you would like to know how someone will be in 20 or 40 years, look at their parents. Parenting predicts people’s personality so the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Whether we like it or not, parenting is a glimpse into the past and the future. If you would like to see how your future partner might be, observe their parents. If you are curious about what your kids might be like when they grow up, look very closely at your personality and what you model in front of them.

Observe your parents more, if you want to really start understanding yourself. Listen to their words, focus and challenges. Review your life and see which personality traits are more like your Mom‘s or your Dad‘s. Are they their good traits or the one’s you are not so fond of?

Sometimes it’s easier to see your own traits (especially any negative ones) in someone else first.

If you are not fond of any of the traits you’ve picked up over the years, you can change them. It’s rarely easy but always possible. Best time to train your brain out of some of those habits is before you have children. Second best time to do it is right now.

If parenting predicts people’s personality, assess yours today and make any desired changes now.

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughtsTime

Everything Starts With A Decision

If you want your life to be different, you need to check off a few decisions. You know which ones. Everything starts with a decision so it’s time to get started.

What decisions have you been putting off? Let’s get into those topics and understand them better. You may even discover a few helpful things about yourself in the process.

Are you avoiding a decision? Have you said you would think about it and then promptly ignored it? What is it that is holding you back from making the decision and diving in?

Someone has to make a decision and if you don’t, someone else will. Don’t wait until the choice is no longer yours. Get determined. Become selfish, in a good way, by putting your needs ahead of all the other people and ideas rolling around in your head.

Stand up straight. Say what you want. Make the decision to go for it. Commit to it and move forward by taking the very next step right now. It will feel so good! It may be a little scary, uncomfortable or anxiety-inducing. However, remain calm and keep going.

Everything starts with a decision. Start making a few and get on with your new life today.

Do it now!

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CategoriesGratitude

Thank Goodness For Doctors And Politicians

Some people know what they want to be when they grow up. Some never figure it out. Thank goodness for doctors and politicians. Whether they fell into the roles, or they were determined from their youth, they are making it happen.

There are also a lot more people I am grateful for everyday. These include military personnel, coroners, public transport drivers, police, teachers and engineers.

Actually, there are so many more people I appreciate. I am grateful that there are enough people interested in, or willing enough, to take on all the different roles in our society. I am grateful for all of them!

You see, when I was younger, I knew I didn’t want to be in many of these professions or have those jobs or careers. They didn’t interest me. Fortunately, other people were drawn to those roles. Also quite fortunate is that most people are reasonably good at their job.

Of course there seems to be a normal distribution for everything. There are people who are exceptionally good at what they do. There are also people that are clearly not up to it. And of course, each industry has that 0.01% ish that might even have bad/criminal intent.

Thank goodness for doctors and politicians and every other job out there. Most jobs are necessary and few are easy. I appreciate every one of you because my life, in general, is better because of you.

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CategoriesActionFinancialObserveReframe your thoughts

Becoming A Billionaire

Now, you may be the type that is curious as to how to do it or seething that becoming a billionaire is even allowed. Either way, or somewhere in between, it seems everyone has a view on billionaires.

Your reaction to the idea of a billionaire will say a lot about you and your relationship with money. That may or may not be a good thing. You will have to think it through. Be brutally honest about how money makes you feel.

There are generally two roads you can take if you are intent on becoming a billionaire. The first is to have the money given to you. This can be from inheritance, divorce, donation, charity or a very good friend. Alternatively, you can earn the money through providing a product or service for a very large number of people (c. 87% of billionaires).

Bill Gates sold software. Many estimates suggest that there are over one billion PC’s running a version of Windows. If it cost $100 each to have that software on the PC’s, the company’s revenues would be $100 billion from that one software alone. Not only has he provided a valuable service to many people, hundreds of thousands of people have earned their livelihood with his company.

I’ve willingly given more than $100 to Microsoft, from which Mr Gates has benefitted. It has definitely been worth it and then some.

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CategoriesActionTime

Blast Through Your To-Do List

I believe many people have a to-do list that seems ever-growing. Of course, it could be just me. If you do to, blast through your to-do list every once in a while. See how much you can delete, delegate or get it done.

The more things you have or are involved with, the more there is to do. I do try to limit new items, events and commitments now, as there can be just too many to-do’s with them. One new commitment can bring 5-20 new to-do’s with it.

One way to deal with your to-do’s is to batch them all for a certain time or day. Wednesday’s from 9am-12pm is our time for to-do’s. Some things need to be dealt with when they appear. However, for those things that can wait, we let them simmer until Wednesday.

Occasionally though, too many items pile up and you need an extra session. We had a good one of those today. We didn’t get it all done. But we sure did get quite a few things into the rubbish and recycling. There were even quite a few items completed too.

Standing up and having two of you work through the list together can be a great and effective way to blast through your to-do list.

Good luck!

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CategoriesReframe your thoughts

An Ad Hominem Reply

If you are going to have a discussion, the focus should be on the content. Unfortunately far too many people today use an ad hominem reply. That is to say, they attack the character of the person rather than try to understand or discuss the other person’s point of view.

Unfortunately this is a weak debating tool or tactic. It may be effective in the immediate term but it rarely advances any cause.

When someone uses an ad hominem reply, I tend to think less of that person. I will also give extra weight to the other person’s perspective. By sticking to the detail of the discussion point, the focused debater sounds more intelligent and becomes more persuasive.

Not everyone sees it that way.

Sometimes people will ‘pile on’ and cheer the negative personal attacks. They may even add their own insult or character challenge.

One may feel better in the moment for attacking someone this way but it is not helping to further discussions. Be mindful not to fall into this trap.

You are better than this.

If you do not agree with someone’s opinion, you can try to understand it by asking curious questions, not sarcastic ones. You can also simply let them have their opinion. Finally, you could politely explain why you hold a different opinion and then leave it there.

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CategoriesActionFinancialHealth & FitnessThink About ItTime

Plan Ahead

It’s a good idea to look out beyond the hour, day and week. Some people plan important events years in advance. When you plan ahead, it changes your perspective on life, time and prioritisation.

Our life insurance broker rang me today. He wanted to check that I was happy with the cover we had. Was it the right amount, coverage and term (length of time)? All seemed fine.

However, it did get us running a few scenarios. How old would we be in 10, 20 and 30 years? We also needed to calculate how old the kids would be on those dates. The other point to consider was specific life moments falling in those time periods. Big events we considered were; helping with the children’s university costs, business start up costs and/or potential wedding costs.

Planning ahead does make you confront some brutal truths. In particular, it reminds you that you will either be much older one day, or the alternative. And you should consider that ‘much older’ comes with more than simply more candles on your birthday cake. Your health and wellness is likely to change somewhat.

You plan ahead for things that you want such as holidays, concerts and sporting events. So you should also plan ahead for those events that are inevitable, like ageing and the alternative.

Do it now.

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CategoriesGratitudeThink About ItTime

I Like Hanging Out With People Like Me

It always depends on the moment and what I am interested in at the time. However, I like hanging out with people like me. It seems like a natural feeling.

When I listen to rock music, it’s more fun if I am with people who enjoy the same bands. It’s less fun if the people with me don’t enjoy the bands or music genre. And certainly it is not very enjoyable if they simply criticise it or complain about it.

When I go running, I prefer to go with people like me. I prefer to go with people who like running. And ideally they are ready to go in the early morning which is what I prefer. Additionally, it is better going with someone who runs a similar distance and pace too. Though I’m happy to be pushed to go further and faster.

Whether it’s food, sport, holidays or almost anything I can think of, I like hanging out with people like me.

And those people are oftentimes different people for each thing. This is great because they can bring other aspects into the mix too.

It’s great to get different perspectives. But when I want to enjoy myself, I like hanging out with people like me.

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CategoriesFinancialGratitudeThink About It

Winning £1 million

It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Most people would be pretty pleased with that sum of money. Winning £1 million seems to be the magic number for a lot of people.

Songs have been written about having a million dollars. People talk about how life would be different if they could just, ‘win a million’. And many people have dreamt about what they would do if they had a million dollars, pounds or euros show up in their life unexpectedly.

Although today £1 million wouldn’t put you in the exclusive group it would have in 1970, it is still an exciting amount of money to most people. Even for someone who has a net worth of £30 million (i.e. assets less liabilities), this amount would probably be warmly received. This is in part because those assets might produce £3 million in income. So an extra 33% more would likely be welcome.

What would you do if you had £1 million turn up in your bank account? Whether it was from an inheritance (long lost Auntie?), a lottery ticket or some fascinating philanthropist doing things differently.

Wouldn’t winning £1 million be an exciting thing? Would you do something exciting and novel? Or something sensible and pragmatic? Perhaps you would do a little of both.

Well, I hope you get to find out sometime soon!

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Selective Memory

It is fascinating what we can remember and what we can forget. Having selective memory can be both an advantage and a disadvantage. But if you train your mind, you can make it work better for you.

Women can use selective memory to forget the pain of child birth. I have met several women who said they would not have a second child after the physical pain of the first. However, in some cases, there were more children after that. This is one of the advantages of selective memory. At least it has been for the continuation of the human race.

We can also use this concept to fondly remember ‘the good ole days’. This means we remember the great and good things in our past and tend to forget all the little painful incidents. We remember winning the match but not so much the pain we felt during or after. We remember the graduation but not the mind numbing hours of studying required to obtain the marks for it.

However, we can select poorer memories if we wish. We might focus on unhappy or unhelpful instances. Most people will have a variety of moments they should forget. Especially if it was something they did which didn’t go well.

We should not dwell on our own or other people’s shortcomings or bad moments.

We can use this selective memory power for good. Do not use this to beat ourselves up over something. Nor should we chastise others.

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