CategoriesGratitudeTime

The Excitement Of A Hot, Sunny Day

Summertime can be so magical with its long, carefree days and myriad opportunities for spontaneous fun. The excitement of a hot, sunny day can be palpable. This is especially true for kids and those who haven’t lost their youthful enthusiasm.

Creating fond memories of water play, tree climbing and friends laughing are all fabulous ways to while away an ambivalent afternoon or a sunny, summer sizzler.

Sometimes it’s too warm to even want to move. Hopefully there is an occasional, light, cooling breeze to break the heat. Or perhaps you can cool off with a chilled drink or a firm favourite of ours: ice cream!

Roam around the park or sit on a blanket, or the cool grass. Swapping stories about anything and nothing is always great for passing time. It is all of these simple pleasures that we long to capture and relive in the short, dark, cold days of deep midwinter.

When taking exercise it is best to do it early, before the heat. I made sure to get up early this morning and set off by 05:54 on a magical run in Richmond Park. Scarcely a soul in sight, save for those of the young deer having a quiet breakfast on the lower lawn.

I know creating marvellous memories depends on who you are, where you are and what is happening in your life at the moment. However, I hope you have some fond memories of summertime already. Either way, may the excitement of a hot, sunny day inspire you to create something special soon.

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CategoriesReframe your thoughts

How Being Wrong Can Feel So Right

There’s a funny thing about being wrong about something. It is a little strange how being wrong can feel so right. This is because, you don’t actually feel wrong until it is brought to your attention.

You are usually convinced you are right until you discover (usually through someone else) that you are wrong. Only then do you fully understand that feeling of being wrong.

On Sunday, my son needed to download something onto the laptop. The only thing I had to do was type in my password to allow it. It seemed like a simple task. Oh, how I can laugh about it now. Though, there was not a lot of laughter in the moment.

That password had an ‘&’ and an ‘=’ in it. My brain read the ‘&’ as ‘and’ like ’in addition to’ so I kept typing the ‘+’ key. I typed it slower. I said each key as I typed it. Then I tried other passwords. And then other user names, as you do. Fortunately, I somehow realised the error of my ways and got it right. Phew!

But I had been so sure that I had been typing the correct password. Then that feeling of being wrong washed over me. Then I laughed at my own misinterpretation of the symbol.

This is how being wrong can feel so right. You are convinced you are correct and feel confident about it. It’s only after you become aware that you were wrong, that you feel any different. A different take on The Emperor’s New Clothes perhaps. Fascinating.

I leave you today with a great little video on this very topic.

A very interesting way of looking at being wrong and people who disagree with you.
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CategoriesReframe your thoughtsThink About ItTime

Immersing Yourself In Another Person’s Shoes

Sometimes I see a picture of someone and start to wonder about their whole life. Immersing yourself in another person’s shoes is a fascinating challenge.

I know the old saying suggests walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. But is that really enough? I guess it depends on your intent and what you are trying to get out of the experience.

Understanding A Position

If you are trying to understand someone’s position on a topic, it could be a little more complex than you think. Most topics, at their most general, can be distilled down to a binary option. However, as you dig deeper into the detail, there can be dozens, or even hundreds, of nuanced positions.

Just as a person can be summed up in one word, it doesn’t really give you a good understanding of them. A brief bio is more helpful. An obituary can sum up an important figure in half a page of a newspaper. But these are mere snippets from a person’s life. These do not usually fully inform you of how they got to their current way of thinking on various topics.

So this immersion perspective comes from trying to understand a person more fully. A person is constantly absorbing and assessing information which allows them to make minor shifts in perception. Perhaps we need to understand all of these moments of shift to fully appreciate where someone is coming from in their discussion.

Time To Understand

Let’s say the main influencing time in a person’s life could be distilled into one accumulated hour per week. So one hour, times 52 weeks, for a 50 year old means 2,600 hours of influential moments to review. To do so, at a rate of 40 hours per week, would take over one year!

Immersing yourself in another person’s shoes may not be practical. However, we can be kind and listen. People are where they are based on their own experience. This includes all the formal and informal education, and training, they have received in their entire life.

Berating a person for their current opinion, based on their personal journey so far, is not helpful. Understanding how they have arrived there allows you to help them consider alternative views.

Try understanding people a little more today. Listen to their view and allow them to have it. People are often more open to considering a new perspective when it is presented openly as an option rather than in a coercive way.

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CategoriesHealth & FitnessReframe your thoughtsThink About ItTime

Living To 100 And Beyond

The imaginative people on this planet continue to make progress on so many fronts, especially in the medical field. Living to 100 and beyond is becoming more of a frequent occurrence these days.

And with rumours that 100 is the new 80, it is all very exciting. The perception of ageing is also changing. Many people are still very active in their 70’s and 80’s. Some are surprisingly able through their 90’s and into their 100’s. With all the new replacement parts and better prevention and cures, the idea of ageing is changing.

How many centenarians are there in the UK? Globally? More than many people would expect. (Take a guess before checking the answer at the bottom).

Reaching 100, or beyond, may become less of an issue of physical limitations and more of a mental health and mindset challenge.

For this reason I am angling to reach 160. Aim high! So even if I come up a little short, it will still be quite an impressive run. With that in mind, I am building good habits for the long haul. Both physical and mental habits. I‘ll let you know if I make it. ?

Living to be 100 and beyond is quite an achievement. In 2018 there were 13,170 centenarians in the UK and 499,198 globally. They’re great numbers to build on.

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Leave Everything A Little Better

Wherever you go you are likely to find little things that aren’t perfect. Leave everything a little better when you pass through.

Some simple things can make a nice difference. For example, I’ll pick up pieces of litter if there are one or two items on a trail, in a park or on the street. I prefer not to see it there in the first place. But now that I have, I’ll remove it. Then, the people coming after me can have the natural experience I would have wanted.

If you borrow something, like a friends car, fill the tank or get a car wash before returning it. It’s a nice thing to do for them. This is especially true if the tank is low or you can write or draw in the dirt.

If a tree branch has fallen on a path, move it completely out of the way. Most people who pass by after will appreciate it. Some people might have preferred the adventure in scrambling over, through or around it. Though, many hikers like to simply hike and not play tree-branch Twister.

Sometimes it is just a simple thing like adjusting a pillow, shifting something, or returning a tool a little cleaner or sharper. Every little act of improvement will have a knock on effect and bring greater joy. Whether that joy is experienced by people you know or not is fine.

How nice it would be if all people could pay it forward and leave everything a little better than we found it.

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CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughtsTime

The Stockdale Paradox

What does seven years in the Hanoi Hilton have in common with Covid lockdown? Perhaps it is The Stockdale Paradox. You must confront the brutal facts while emphatically maintaining that you will survive, and thrive, despite them.

I first became aware of The Stockdale Paradox almost two decades ago when I was reading Jim Collins’ fascinating book, “Good to Great”. The book is the result of a study of the differentiating factors between long term success and short term blips.

In the book, James Stockdale is brought up. Despite having survived seven years of seriously harsh POW treatment, he seemed to have survived the ordeal and feel stronger for it. Let’s all hope that whatever our personal circumstances are, or become, we can say the same after this Covid experience.

It is important to confront the brutal facts of our current reality. And equally critical, we must have unwavering belief that we will overcome whatever difficulties we encounter and emerge stronger on the other side.

Admiral Stockdale said it was the optimists that struggled and sometimes didn’t make it through. I can understand that. However, I will add that perhaps it was the impatient folks that struggled most. The one’s that wanted it over quickly, in addition to those that were hopeful about the outcome.

Think about your expectations and sprinkle some patience in there. The 1918 Pandemic lasted 2 years. It doesn’t mean this one will be difficult for some or all of that time though. So stay positive, and patient, and be ready to overcome whatever comes your way.

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CategoriesReframe your thoughtsThink About ItTime

Thinking Differently Changes Lives

It feels like there is a lot of upheaval and uncertainty in the world at the moment. Remember that thinking differently changes lives, whether it is with respect to Covid, your job or summer holidays.

Day to day life seems to be changing at a rapid pace. The future may, or may not, look different from what we experienced in 2019. But then again, things have been changing your whole life. So change is not really new. But what might be new is having greater uncertainty as to how this change will play out for you.

In our early years, many people have higher certainty due to social norms (school advancement, activities) and signposting by our parents or carers. From teenage years and onwards, we have a slightly lower certainty as we attempt to do things we want to do (apply to universities or jobs, move house, find new friends or a partner).

Often we decide on the change that we would like to happen in our life. But we did not choose this moment in time and the changes it has dealt us. And we do not know where this road leads. But the thinking that got us this far in life, may need some alterations for this next stage of life.

You are the hero of this story. No one else is coming to save you. You have the strength and mental acuity to shift now from uncomfortable to unstoppable. Be one of those joy filled people that believes thinking differently changes lives. Then make the mindset shift and begin the change.

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CategoriesReframe your thoughts

Progress Not Problems

Sometimes it feels like it can’t get any worse. There are moments of two steps forward and two steps back. Focusing on progress not problems can remind us, that overall, things are getting better.

I find it really helpful to let my mind zoom out of the situation and away from the immediate problem. As I pull back and get some perspective, it is much easier to recognise the progress that I have made.

This is the same for global issues as much as personal ones. There are a lot issues people would like to see more progress on and quicker too. But when we look back over 200 years, we can see a lot of progress. And 200 years ago it was slower and harder. However, today, progress and improvements are happening at a much more rapid rate.

We still need to have some patience as we make the progress. If we want dramatic change this immediate moment, we are likely to simply get ourselves frustrated. We must work toward our goals, step by step. We must have a longer term plan and follow it. Then recognise that although we can’t see rapid change, it will come.

When you plant a seed, you won’t see anything happening as you look at the ground. But with care, patience and time, your efforts will be rewarded with some visible progress. And later still, you will be able to harvest.

This system may not be perfect but it does work. Focus on the progress not problems. You’ll feel better for it while you wait.

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Use All The Ink In Your Pen

If you care about the environment and the impact that you have on it, start doing something simple. Use all the ink in your pen.

Use up the resources that you buy. We donated a lot of pens and pencils a few years ago to the local school and charities. We have found / acquired a few more since then. Many are half used. I’m on a mission to use up the remaining ink in those pens and then recycle them as possible.

Some pens we would donate to the school but I am not sure whether they will take them at this time. I’ll have to check.

And although we don’t have a lot of excess things tucked away in drawers and cupboards, we are going through everything at the moment. I’ve become mildly obsessed with removing things that are no longer being used or not useful to us.

We encourage the children to pass things on that other children might enjoy. And those items we do keep, we tend to use them intensely until they are so used up they need to go into a recycling program or the rubbish.

I know many retailers need us in their shops (or browsing their online shops) right now. Definitely spend when you can on things that are required, especially in smaller shops. But also try to use up, donate or recycle all those things you already have.

Use all the ink in your pen. The planet will be better for it.

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CategoriesObserveThink About It

Life Is A Game Of Inches And Millimetres

The Universe is enormous. It is 93 billion light years across and contains two trillion galaxies. Yet, life is a game of inches and millimetres.

We can stand in awe at the size of the Universe. It is equally mind bending to consider tiny differences and how they impact our lives. These small measurements, about the width of your thumb (inch) or width of your baby fingernail (10 millimetres) probably have a disproportionate impact on our lives.

We can see this in sport. Whether it is via the line judge in tennis, a missed shot in snooker, a nine-dart finish or a hole in one, we see how tiny differences can change the outcome.

Additionally we can see this with faces. I hadn’t thought much about this until one day I watched a video with Tony Robbins noting how symmetrical faces were. He continued by mentioning how we can pick up on almost imperceptible differences. We notice something, whether we can articulate it or not. Think about when you see a picture hanging on the wall and immediately you know if it is not symmetrical.

The more accurate you can be, the more likely you will have success. And sometimes it can be a fortunate millimetre or two that makes the difference.

Life is a game of inches and millimetres.

Get better at the refined detail and you will succeed more often.

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