Author: Scott
Try Something Challenging
Be Grateful For Your Abode
Spend a week in a tent. Especially if it is cold, wet or both. In no time at all, you’ll be grateful for your abode. You’ll be longing for home.
All the little things that niggle at you will seem superfluous. The loose door hinge, the sticky window, or that bit of painting that should be touched up. It will all seem ostentatious or unnecessary .
Maybe the first week in the tent will be untethered euphoria. Great!!! But give it two or three weeks and you’ll get that grateful feeling.
Be grateful for your abode.
Moving Fast Is Key
Sometimes speed is the only thing that matters. When you need to get things done, moving fast is key. Rest at your leisure.
Try to sprint through your work day and personal admin. Get through it as quickly as you can. If you linger, you are just wasting precious moments of your life in limbo.
One of the best tricks to use is to imagine you are going on holiday tomorrow. Since you will be leaving at 6am, there will be no time to complete anything in the morning. Therefore, you will need to get those things done today and tonight. Along with packing, of course.
Adding this pressure is good. Firstly, you trick your mind into assuming you need to get things done. Secondly, your priority list will shift around. Many things you don’t need to do will fall by the wayside. Those critical items will be squeezed in. You will type faster, have shorter phone calls and keep on point in all communication.
Think of each 15 minutes as a sprint. Set yourself a milestone to reach in that 15 minutes. Set the timer on your clock, phone or computer. Then, dash for the Done ✅.
Surprise yourself with how much you can do. Oh, and it will feel great having completed so much. All those lingering items just gone from the list.
Moving fast is key.
Your Win Is Humanity’s Loss
Do you always have to win? Is your perspective the only one allowed? Sometimes your win is humanity’s loss. Be mindful of this.
You see, we all come at things from different perspectives (see my Six Chairs blog post). Some will share the same or similar view while others will be the polar opposite. That is usually fine.
Arguing the point for ‘a win’ is rarely beneficial though. Noting the differences in the conversation and understanding all the various data points is useful. But trying to make the other adopt your perspective, as if it were their own, does not make sense.
It is ok for you to like blue and your friend to like orange. If you like Chelsea and they like Man United, that is fine. No need to name call, disparage or block. Simply accepting that someone else has a different view is better for the whole world and society at large.
Remember that the other person has their experiences and may have different cultural influences. They may have also held these views for many years or decades. So expecting, or insisting, that they change or shift their view in a two hour discussion seems unreasonable.
Let others keep their view. But let them understand the reasons behind your position too. The stories and data have a greater chance of swaying them then militant necessity.
Your win is humanity’s loss. Let it be.
Your Shifting Identity
Everything and everyone we come in contact with affects us in some way. With each interaction or experience, your shifting identity will move again.
We exist in a constant stream of movement. Remember when you met a person and agreed to catch up for coffee or a drink? That changed your life trajectory some amount. You were curious and invested some time and money in this new relationship.
The conversation you had may have shifted your thoughts or mindset in one direction or another. Or it may have just re-affirmed your position on everything. Although usually you come away from new encounters with at least one new perspective.
And, this time investment may have meant that you did not meet someone else. Some people are on the exit path of your life and others are bounding down the arrivals gangway. People are coming and going. Some are gaining prominence in your life while others remain idle or disappear.
Your thoughts, convictions and values are doing this all the time too. It is like you are trying to find the right combination on a large combination lock. You are shifting and moving or locking things into place.
Sometimes this process will be joyful while other times the pain of identity shifting will almost break you. You might long for the person you were but can’t see a way back there. Or you might be excited for the future. Not knowing how things will shift can be intriguing or unnerving.
Regardless, your shifting identity continues.
Your Choices Create You
With every choice you make, you create your future. Each decision about people, places and things matter. Your choices create you as you select environment, friends and behaviours.
All the choices you have made have got you where you are now. Your decisions have influenced where you live. They also determined your income, family makeup, clothes you wear and hobbies you have.
Every choice you have made, big or small, has moved you in a direction. Your current situation is a result of all those decisions. Hopefully it is mostly good. If there are any areas you would like to change, you need to make different decisions for your future.
Want to stop drinking? Make different decisions than you do now. Decide to not go to the pub. Or, if you do, drink tea, water or soft drinks. Don’t bring alcohol into the house and you won’t be able to drink at home.
If you want to get your fitness up, then you need to start exercising more. Stop smoking or vaping. Eat healthier foods. Hang around different people. You will succeed quicker if you have healthier people around you. Also, decide to see yourself as a fit and healthy person. This one decision will have a huge impact on your results.
Your choices create you. Keep making better ones every day.
The Tip Of The Iceberg
What you can see, isn’t all there is. There is a lot going on below the surface. Remember that the tip of the iceberg is only the beginning.
When speaking to someone, remember that you only get the words, tone and body language. What you may not understand is the full meaning. The person may have a completely different experience to you and therefore have a unique point of view on a topic.
If someone has lived through a traumatic event, and they say they know what it means, they may actually know. And not just theoretically. If they have had the full body and complete mind numbing experience, they may be able to relate on closer level than people who haven’t gone through the challenge.
There is so much information being considered and assessed in the back of our mind all day. We are constantly shifting thoughts around in our unconscious mind and occasionally our conscious one.
This massive information flow can therefore make it easier to assess things by feel or intuition. Taking the time to go through all the data and nuance could take weeks, months or years. However, we can make reasonable snap decisions by weighing up the sense we have. Beware though, making emotional decisions this way is not advised. Get key data as well.
The tip of the iceberg is not all there is.
