CategoriesActionObserveProgressThink About It

What Ten Words Describe You?

Can you describe yourself? It’s a great exercise. Try it right now.

Grab a pen and paper or toggle into your notes section of your device.

Write the numbers from 1 to 10. Then see how many single words (or short phrases) you can write about yourself, up to a maximum of 10.

These words should describe what you think of you, right now. It’s not what your best friend thinks of you or what you think your mother might say. Be as objective and honest/realistic as you can. You don’t have to show anyone.

To get your mental gears going, here are a few examples:

  1. Olympian
  2. Tea lover
  3. Clean Air Advocate
  4. Student
  5. Soccer/Football fan

This is not a forever list. It can change as your life changes or your perception changes.

For those of you in the advanced class, now write 10 words/short phrases you would like to describe you by 1 January 2022.

If you had put smoker today, you may want to become a Clean Air Advocate by 2022. If you had put Olympian, you may want to describe yourself as a gold medalist after this summers’ Olympics. You may wish to move from ‘good father’ to ‘world class dad’.

These two lists are good steps to help you learn about yourself and see what you can achieve.

Many people will spend far more time planning their holiday than they will discovering who they are and what changes they could make to bring more joy to their life.

Consider this the first step towards becoming the person you would most like to be. Still yourself: Just a better version of you.

Go make those lists!

(If you get stuck, go into the Facebook group pages and I can help you out.)

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CategoriesActionObserveReframe your thoughts

Focus On The Outcome You Want

This seems to be the highest probability way to get what you want in life. If you are not getting things that you want, check your word selection and order, listen carefully to your self-talk and be mindful of the questions you ask and statements you make: even in jest.

As you focus on achieving the outcome you are looking for, your mind gathers information, evidence, options, connections and other relevant materials to make this work.

The same is true if you happen to mention things you don’t want. This is why people that happen to mention the negative outcome they don’t want, seem to attract the negative outcome.

It is not a guaranteed way for things to work out positively or negatively, but there seems to be a higher probability that what you focus on, speak about, think through and ‘see’, is more likely to come to pass.

Just try framing things in a positive, specific way each time you refer to something. Catch yourself when you say things using a negative or it is the opposite of what you want. For example, “What if she says no?” Could be reframed to, “What if she says yes?”. “I don’t want to spend hours shopping, I don’t have time today”, could become, “I want to be quick and select only the things I need and clearly want so I can be done in 20 minutes.”

Give it a try today. See if you can spot when you‘re framing something in the negative. Give yourself some kudos if you find yourself framing or re-framing in the positive. If you don’t already do this, it can take some time to become a habit. It is worth it though. Good luck!

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CategoriesActionGratitudeHealth & FitnessThink About It

If You Could Save Someone’s Life Right Now, Would You?

Would you really? What if it took five minutes out of your busy day? Would you still make the effort? If you could save the life of someone’s daughter, brother or Nan, but to save their life would require you to redirect 60 minutes of your precious time on earth, would you do it?

If you’re still convinced you would do it, that you would step up and sacrifice 60 minutes of your life to help someone else keep their life, that’s pretty wonderful intent.

If so, then sometime today, google and call your local blood donor clinic and book yourself an appointment to give blood. Most people can do the whole process in less than an hour. It is free. You lay down for 20 minutes and then they usually give you cookies and drink afterward ???. Simple.

You don’t need to be a trained medical professional, like a doctor, nurse or paramedic, to help save someone’s life. But you do need to be able to execute on your amazing intent.

I’ve been donating since my early 20’s, despite not being a fan of needles at all. I figure, if someone else is in a life or death situation, possibly in pain I can’t imagine, then I can handle a tiny, little, needle wince for a second. I don’t know anyone who has received my blood, but it is pretty amazing to think that there are people who are alive today, because I keep showing up.

My next appointment is on the 12th of March. When is yours?

To book an appointment, and see other information, click Blood UK, Canadian Blood Services, American Red Cross, or google ‘blood donations’ for your area.

(I was inspired to write my thoughts on blood donation by a really interesting piece a friend of mine from secondary school did on, “What happens to blood after you donate it?”. You can see the work Neil and his team did here.)

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CategoriesActionGoals, Results & New ThinkingProgressReframe your thoughts

Become More Aware, And The Better You’ll Fare

Are you doing the best that you can? Is life as good as you know how to make it? Could you make it better – if you knew a little more?

Of course!

Think of it this way. When you were little, and in primary school, you had loads of potential. However, you could only operate up to the level of knowledge and understanding you had – primary school level. You had the potential to do secondary school work but you didn’t even know what the lessons would be about at that point.

Same thing as right now in your life. I’m certain you have the potential to do better at your job, your studies, your sports, health and fitness and your relationships. But, you are only working at your current level of knowledge and understanding in each area.

You could fumble around for years trying to use your own experience of trial and error to get some better results. Or, you could seek out something to read or watch or someone to speak to. Or all three!

Everything there is to know in the world today is on the internet. You can find anything you may want or need with some general questions typed into Google or asked of Alexa or Siri.

Start improving now. Shift your knowledge, understanding and mindset just a little bit more each day. By June, you’ll be surprised by how much progress you’ll have made.

Go online, to the library or the bookstore, and find one more trick, helpful hint, piece of advice or idea and implement it straight away. Do this daily and your skills and talents will start to grow exponentially. So will your confidence. Then soon after that, your bank account.

You have the power to improve yourself.

Use it!

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CategoriesActionGratitudeThink About ItTime

Tell Them Now

Is there anyone you appreciate or are thankful to have in your life? Is there someone who helped you along your path, with kind words, good advice or support when it was greatly needed? Maybe there is someone you love and would dearly miss if they stopped showing up in your life?

Maybe it is your Mom or your Dad. A grandparent or two. A mentor. A school teacher. A former boss or colleague. Spouse. Partner. Child. Friend. Distant relative.

Write them a one page letter. Tell them why they are so wonderful and some of the great things you remember them for, or are grateful for.

Do not wait to tell the world about all the good they had brought into your life. Do not wait to be standing at the front of the church, in front of the gathered family and friends. Do not wait until it is too late.

Take 60 minutes from your busy life this week and write the things that will remind them how much they mean to you. Let them hear it from you now.

It doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to written and delivered. Letting someone know just how important they have been in your life, while they can still appreciate it, and you’re still here to write it, will be life-changing for both you and them.

I started doing this many years ago before my grandparents passed away. And knowing that I had let them know how important they were to me and why, not just in an annual card or general phone call, made the days easier when their time came. I didn’t have that gnawing feeling of thinking, “I never got to really tell them how much they meant to me”.

I have some more letters to write. Possibly you do too. Write the first one and send it before the 29th February. Why wait any longer? Tell them now.

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CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughtsThink About It

Check Your Intent

Are you trying to help someone improve, or are you looking for a pat on the back, for being empathetic or interested?

When you argue/debate/converse, are you trying to “win” and prove your perception is “right” and that it is the only possible perception, reality or opinion? Or are you seeking to understand what the other person is trying to express? I say ’trying’ as sometimes, under pressure, or if the question gets them thinking, a person may be quickly trying to express something, but not very well. Some people will pick up on the less-well-articulated thought and attack the words rather than the intent of the person uttering them. This is unfortunate.

We need to #BeKinder and allow people to find the better words to express their thoughts. This is why we should check our intent. Frequently. We can immediately change the tone of a conversation by adjusting our own intent.

The closer you listen to someone, the more you will learn about them. Some people are a bit sloppy in their word selection. Others have fewer learned words to select from. Listen carefully to people today. Measure their words against their deeds and the intent you believe you are observing. It’s fascinating. Did your waiter really mean, “Have a nice day”? (On a scale of 1-10)

Sometimes we can hurt people’s feelings with our words unintentionally. This is an accident. However, it can seem quite clear sometimes, what someone’s intent is. Sometimes it seems clear their intent is unkind.

Fellow Canadian, Jordan B Peterson, was interviewed on Channel 4 News a couple of years ago. See the video below – it has been viewed 19 million times. It has some topical subjects and is a good case study on intent. What is his and what is hers during the show?

Spoiler: I felt Jordan’s intent was to try to give a thought-through perspective to help the audience get a better understanding of the detail involved in the topics. It felt like Cathy’s intent was to try to provoke or discredit Jordan and show him in a bad light.

What do you think the intent is for both parties involved? You can leave your comment below by adding your thoughts under “Your Thinking…”. (If it is not directly below these words, click on the title of this post (at the top of the page) and it will take you to the comment area).

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CategoriesActionGoals, Results & New ThinkingProgressReframe your thoughts

You Can Turn This Around

It’s not hopeless. It doesn’t need to be forever. There are always options. Good ones even. You can re-build or re-start from scratch. There’s a lot of awesome out there!

First you need to want something different. Ideally you can picture it in your mind, feel it in your bones and then describe it on paper. If you can’t find the time, or make the effort, to write it down, in a few bullet points, consider re-assessing if it is simply a wish rather than a goal.

If you’ve done the writing and are ready to go, then make a short little plan including the very next three simple steps you think you need to take to inch yourself closer to that goal. Call someone. Find an answer. Buy or borrow a book about it. It will then seem a little easier and you’ll feel like you’re on your way. Because technically, you are! (Cue the Quote: A journey of 1,000 miles begins with the first step…)

Do these three steps as quick as you can. Do one now. Then the other two. You will feel good for starting.

You don’t have to do these steps and you don’t have to change anything. But if you want to change something, you really should get on with it: the clock’s ticking. If you don’t have anything in your life you would like to change or improve, you may now return to your regularly scheduled programming…

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CategoriesActionThink About ItTime

A Stitch In Time

A favourite saying of mine is, “A stitch in time, saves nine”. I liked proverbs, and useful little sayings, when I was younger and I like them even more now.

Through the years I have seen how often they can be usefully applied. This one is easy to remember so it’s great for kids. My children know this proverb all too well. I only ever need to say the first half anymore and they know what I am talking about.

It is such a great saying with a visual thrown in. I can imagine someone sitting and fixing a coat or shirt with one stitch now, to save having to do nine stitches later when there is a bigger problem. You save time, it is likely to look better with one stitch rather than nine, you save resources (eight fewer stitches) and you feel better for nipping it in the bud too!

I often use this in a pre-mortem way. I like to see what stitch I can do now, which might save me time, resources, etc. later. For example, “If I can leave earlier, say by 06:00, I can drop the post in the post box, get to the gym, pick up the groceries on the way back and still be heading to the client meeting by 08:15”.

Of course, you can certainly see the benefit when you do a post-mortem on something too. Here’s an example. “Oh, if I had only left home when I said I would, then I wouldn’t be in this traffic jam, I could have made it to the gym, but now I’ll have to go at the end of the day, miss time with the kids and shower twice. At least I got the essential groceries, though I’ll have to go back out again later for the rest.”

Another common example is missing a payment for something like a class, your car, mobile bill, rent or a mortgage. It is always a much bigger deal trying to undo the damage, than if we had just sorted it correctly in the first place. With a little better forward planning we can achieve this ideal habit. The stress it saves will be significant.

You can find opportunities to use this proverb with just about anything: Health and fitness, finances (savings and taxes), relationships, career, etc.

Think about what needs a little stitch now, to help things go smoother or stop things from getting worse. Keep your eye out today for one or two ways you could use this proverb to your advantage. Then use the stitch and pocket the other eight. Good job.

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CategoriesActionGoals, Results & New Thinking

Take Control

There is a mess in your life somewhere. You need to own it. You need to take control of it. Look it straight in the eye and say, “I am sorting you out today!”. Then go ahead and do it.

There is huge power and energy in deciding you will take control and make something happen. You start getting clarity. You Even want to move forward more quickly.

Find something today that you have been avoiding, putting off, procrastinating with, and then take control of it. Sort it out. Wrestle with it. Stick with it. Put a quick plan together to tackle it. Then execute on that plan. Get started.

Allow yourself that feeling of being in control. In command. Directing the outcome. Pushing things forward. You will stop making reasons and start making results. You will feel exhilarated. Confident. Ready.

You will make it happen. Take Control.

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CategoriesActionGoals, Results & New ThinkingObserveProgressThink About It

Use The Feedback

Great, positive feedback is what the majority of people would like to get. It feels good and it’s energising. One great piece of feedback, or good feedback from the right person, at the right time, can keep me motivated for days or weeks.

Improvement feedback can be harder to take. It doesn’t have to be harder to take, but in general, a lot of people will have some challenges with constructive feedback, never mind factual or negative feedback too.

Since starting this blog, I have had a good deal of feedback. Some really good and positive feedback, while others have given good insights into ways I could improve the site or content. I have found both to be very useful and I have been delighted each time that someone has taken the time out of their day to think about the item, write down that feedback and send it to me.

The real key to feedback is not how it makes you feel in the moment. Although that can be helpful, and is important, what you need to do is reflect on it and use the feedback. That is the real key.

Use the positive feedback to encourage you to keep going. Maybe even create a notebook, journal or notes page in your phone, to capture all the good feedback. Then it is there for you when you need a little motivation or want to get smiling again. I have some from many years ago. It really makes a great impact each time I see it.

With growth or improvement feedback, you should consider it, assess whether it has some element of truth (whether you want to face that truth or not), and if it does, look at how you can start using the feedback and incorporating into your life. People are trying to help you, for free, so that you can improve and do better socially, financially, health-wise or whatever the topic is. People’s intent is usually good. But even if it isn’t, you can still use their insight and comments to help you improve and grow.

I’ve been using the feedback I’ve been getting for this blog and hopefully people are seeing the result of that. And what can’t be seen yet, I’m at least working on behind the scenes.

Always thank the person giving the feedback, whether you like it, or not.

Today, try to give at least one person some useful and actionable feedback. Also, listen for, or ask for, feedback from others for you to use. Write it down. Thank them. Use it! You will grow much faster, improve yourself quicker and see the benefits of that growth realised much sooner (in health, wealth, relationships, career, etc.).

Use the feedback.

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