Scott, Author at Scott's Thinking

Tell Them Now

Posted on February 19, 2020

Is there anyone you appreciate or are thankful to have in your life? Is there someone who helped you along your path, with kind words, good advice or support when it was greatly needed? Maybe there is someone you love and would dearly miss if they stopped showing up in your life?

Maybe it is your Mom or your Dad. A grandparent or two. A mentor. A school teacher. A former boss or colleague. Spouse. Partner. Child. Friend. Distant relative.

Write them a one page letter. Tell them why they are so wonderful and some of the great things you remember them for, or are grateful for.

Do not wait to tell the world about all the good they had brought into your life. Do not wait to be standing at the front of the church, in front of the gathered family and friends. Do not wait until it is too late.

Take 60 minutes from your busy life this week and write the things that will remind them how much they mean to you. Let them hear it from you now.

It doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to written and delivered. Letting someone know just how important they have been in your life, while they can still appreciate it, and you’re still here to write it, will be life-changing for both you and them.

I started doing this many years ago before my grandparents passed away. And knowing that I had let them know how important they were to me and why, not just in an annual card or general phone call, made the days easier when their time came. I didn’t have that gnawing feeling of thinking, “I never got to really tell them how much they meant to me”.

I have some more letters to write. Possibly you do too. Write the first one and send it before the 29th February. Why wait any longer? Tell them now.

Observe Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Check Your Intent

Posted on February 18, 2020

Are you trying to help someone improve, or are you looking for a pat on the back, for being empathetic or interested?

When you argue/debate/converse, are you trying to “win” and prove your perception is “right” and that it is the only possible perception, reality or opinion? Or are you seeking to understand what the other person is trying to express? I say ’trying’ as sometimes, under pressure, or if the question gets them thinking, a person may be quickly trying to express something, but not very well. Some people will pick up on the less-well-articulated thought and attack the words rather than the intent of the person uttering them. This is unfortunate.

We need to #BeKinder and allow people to find the better words to express their thoughts. This is why we should check our intent. Frequently. We can immediately change the tone of a conversation by adjusting our own intent.

The closer you listen to someone, the more you will learn about them. Some people are a bit sloppy in their word selection. Others have fewer learned words to select from. Listen carefully to people today. Measure their words against their deeds and the intent you believe you are observing. It’s fascinating. Did your waiter really mean, “Have a nice day”? (On a scale of 1-10)

Sometimes we can hurt people’s feelings with our words unintentionally. This is an accident. However, it can seem quite clear sometimes, what someone’s intent is. Sometimes it seems clear their intent is unkind.

Fellow Canadian, Jordan B Peterson, was interviewed on Channel 4 News a couple of years ago. See the video below – it has been viewed 19 million times. It has some topical subjects and is a good case study on intent. What is his and what is hers during the show?

Spoiler: I felt Jordan’s intent was to try to give a thought-through perspective to help the audience get a better understanding of the detail involved in the topics. It felt like Cathy’s intent was to try to provoke or discredit Jordan and show him in a bad light.

What do you think the intent is for both parties involved? You can leave your comment below by adding your thoughts under “Your Thinking…”. (If it is not directly below these words, click on the title of this post (at the top of the page) and it will take you to the comment area).

Action Goals, Results & New Thinking Progress Reframe your thoughts

You Can Turn This Around

Posted on February 17, 2020

It’s not hopeless. It doesn’t need to be forever. There are always options. Good ones even. You can re-build or re-start from scratch. There’s a lot of awesome out there!

First you need to want something different. Ideally you can picture it in your mind, feel it in your bones and then describe it on paper. If you can’t find the time, or make the effort, to write it down, in a few bullet points, consider re-assessing if it is simply a wish rather than a goal.

If you’ve done the writing and are ready to go, then make a short little plan including the very next three simple steps you think you need to take to inch yourself closer to that goal. Call someone. Find an answer. Buy or borrow a book about it. It will then seem a little easier and you’ll feel like you’re on your way. Because technically, you are! (Cue the Quote: A journey of 1,000 miles begins with the first step…)

Do these three steps as quick as you can. Do one now. Then the other two. You will feel good for starting.

You don’t have to do these steps and you don’t have to change anything. But if you want to change something, you really should get on with it: the clock’s ticking. If you don’t have anything in your life you would like to change or improve, you may now return to your regularly scheduled programming…

Action Think About It Time

A Stitch In Time

Posted on February 16, 2020

A favourite saying of mine is, “A stitch in time, saves nine”. I liked proverbs, and useful little sayings, when I was younger and I like them even more now.

Through the years I have seen how often they can be usefully applied. This one is easy to remember so it’s great for kids. My children know this proverb all too well. I only ever need to say the first half anymore and they know what I am talking about.

It is such a great saying with a visual thrown in. I can imagine someone sitting and fixing a coat or shirt with one stitch now, to save having to do nine stitches later when there is a bigger problem. You save time, it is likely to look better with one stitch rather than nine, you save resources (eight fewer stitches) and you feel better for nipping it in the bud too!

I often use this in a pre-mortem way. I like to see what stitch I can do now, which might save me time, resources, etc. later. For example, “If I can leave earlier, say by 06:00, I can drop the post in the post box, get to the gym, pick up the groceries on the way back and still be heading to the client meeting by 08:15”.

Of course, you can certainly see the benefit when you do a post-mortem on something too. Here’s an example. “Oh, if I had only left home when I said I would, then I wouldn’t be in this traffic jam, I could have made it to the gym, but now I’ll have to go at the end of the day, miss time with the kids and shower twice. At least I got the essential groceries, though I’ll have to go back out again later for the rest.”

Another common example is missing a payment for something like a class, your car, mobile bill, rent or a mortgage. It is always a much bigger deal trying to undo the damage, than if we had just sorted it correctly in the first place. With a little better forward planning we can achieve this ideal habit. The stress it saves will be significant.

You can find opportunities to use this proverb with just about anything: Health and fitness, finances (savings and taxes), relationships, career, etc.

Think about what needs a little stitch now, to help things go smoother or stop things from getting worse. Keep your eye out today for one or two ways you could use this proverb to your advantage. Then use the stitch and pocket the other eight. Good job.

Action Goals, Results & New Thinking

Take Control

Posted on February 15, 2020

There is a mess in your life somewhere. You need to own it. You need to take control of it. Look it straight in the eye and say, “I am sorting you out today!”. Then go ahead and do it.

There is huge power and energy in deciding you will take control and make something happen. You start getting clarity. You Even want to move forward more quickly.

Find something today that you have been avoiding, putting off, procrastinating with, and then take control of it. Sort it out. Wrestle with it. Stick with it. Put a quick plan together to tackle it. Then execute on that plan. Get started.

Allow yourself that feeling of being in control. In command. Directing the outcome. Pushing things forward. You will stop making reasons and start making results. You will feel exhilarated. Confident. Ready.

You will make it happen. Take Control.

Action Goals, Results & New Thinking Observe Progress Think About It

Use The Feedback

Posted on February 14, 2020

Great, positive feedback is what the majority of people would like to get. It feels good and it’s energising. One great piece of feedback, or good feedback from the right person, at the right time, can keep me motivated for days or weeks.

Improvement feedback can be harder to take. It doesn’t have to be harder to take, but in general, a lot of people will have some challenges with constructive feedback, never mind factual or negative feedback too.

Since starting this blog, I have had a good deal of feedback. Some really good and positive feedback, while others have given good insights into ways I could improve the site or content. I have found both to be very useful and I have been delighted each time that someone has taken the time out of their day to think about the item, write down that feedback and send it to me.

The real key to feedback is not how it makes you feel in the moment. Although that can be helpful, and is important, what you need to do is reflect on it and use the feedback. That is the real key.

Use the positive feedback to encourage you to keep going. Maybe even create a notebook, journal or notes page in your phone, to capture all the good feedback. Then it is there for you when you need a little motivation or want to get smiling again. I have some from many years ago. It really makes a great impact each time I see it.

With growth or improvement feedback, you should consider it, assess whether it has some element of truth (whether you want to face that truth or not), and if it does, look at how you can start using the feedback and incorporating into your life. People are trying to help you, for free, so that you can improve and do better socially, financially, health-wise or whatever the topic is. People’s intent is usually good. But even if it isn’t, you can still use their insight and comments to help you improve and grow.

I’ve been using the feedback I’ve been getting for this blog and hopefully people are seeing the result of that. And what can’t be seen yet, I’m at least working on behind the scenes.

Always thank the person giving the feedback, whether you like it, or not.

Today, try to give at least one person some useful and actionable feedback. Also, listen for, or ask for, feedback from others for you to use. Write it down. Thank them. Use it! You will grow much faster, improve yourself quicker and see the benefits of that growth realised much sooner (in health, wealth, relationships, career, etc.).

Use the feedback.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

Is Fire Good Or Bad?

Posted on February 13, 2020

If your house burned down when you were young, your perception of fire could be skewed to the bad side. If having a fire kept you warm in your home every winter, and you lived in Canada, you might think fire is good or even great.

This is based on a sample size of one example for each. Not a strong case, as we’ve explored in a previous post.

If we learned that the house fire allowed the family to build a beautiful new home, their view of fire could be tempered somewhat. If the latter person, who was building the warming fires in winter, burnt their hands frequently in the process, they may be a little less positive about the subject.

Fire isn’t inherently good or bad. It can be good for some people, some of the time, and not so good for others at other times. Labelling it good or bad based on one moment in time, or on one example, doesn’t take into account all of what it has done.

Perceptions are made. Perceptions can change. Perceptions are frequently based on a sample size of one. This can ignore all the good, or the bad, that has come before.

Remember to challenge your perceptions today. When you are on automatic mode, stop and think if what you are thinking or saying is always true. You will find more harmony in your life as you add this into your days ahead.

Financial Observe Reframe your thoughts

Money Mindset

Posted on February 12, 2020

It is fascinating to observe how differently people engage with the topic of money. As with most things, it is a learned behaviour, usually from parents, extended family, family friends and primary school.

As with other habits and patterns of thinking, a person, with a little curiosity, an open mind and a growth mindset, can change their views and relationship with money to improve all things money related in their life.

They will, of course, have to do their own pushups on this one. Though there are loads of useful resources to help with a money mindset transformation. T Harv Eker and Jen Sincero have good and enjoyable books on the topic to get people started.

My challenge to you today is to think about your money mantras for a few minutes. Figure out your earliest memory of those mantras, as well as who said them or reinforced them, and then consider how they might just be impacting your life. Hint: It may not be in a good way.

Here are a few common phrases to get you started:

Money is bad (it is not good or bad, it’s just a thing),
Money is the root of all evil (Is it? Or is it just a medium of exchange? Is your paycheck evil? Besides, the phrase is often misquoted from 1Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. – Here it seems to be referring to greed or avarice – one of the seven deadly sins – whereby greed is an intense and selfish desire.
We can’t afford it (Try asking, ‘How could we afford it, or something similar?’ – It’s much more empowering)
Rich people are jerks (or crooks). (Now some may be, and some won’t be. There’s no point being richist. Is your commentary based on a sample size of one? Are you just parroting what the journalist/paper wants you to think?

Action Goals, Results & New Thinking Progress

Puzzled?

Posted on February 11, 2020

If I can’t figure something out, I might say I’m puzzled. This puzzled feeling has a tendency to occur more often when the outcome I want seems either, far away from my reach, quite difficult or very important to me.

The key to unlocking the puzzled feeling is to use the idea of a puzzle ?.

When you look at a puzzle, whether it is a small 10 piece puzzle or a larger 1,000 piece puzzle, how do you start?

Most people start by taking the first step. You wouldn’t think you could solve it in one step, but you could make progress. Take one step. Pick up a piece. Place it somewhere. Group items that seem similar. Turn a piece 90 degrees. Or more. Get it wrong. Get it right. Try other pieces. Put together separate sections as they become more obvious. Add the separate sections to the main puzzle.

It usually takes longer to place each piece at the beginning of the task, but you can often move a little faster as you gather some early wins and get some momentum as you see things starting to come together. Then we tend to reach a tipping point. You can go quicker and quicker because you’ll have seen each piece that remains more than once and also seen the places they could go more than once. Familiarity has a calming effect and helps make quicker decisions.

Then the magic happens as you race through the last pieces with excitement, anticipation and pride of achievement. Seeing it all coming together, you finish it.

Done ✅

This is how you achieve anything that you want to do in life. It’s all the same. Only the (project) names will change.

When puzzled, procrastinating or panicked, use the puzzle process.

Action Health & Fitness Observe

Smiling

Posted on February 10, 2020

Such an easy way to make your day better.

Smiling is great. Especially if you can add a lovely thought to it and it turns into one of those full face, fun smiles. It really lifts the spirits and has such an energising power.

Smiling is a good habit and a skill. Like any habit and skill, you can improve on it with practice. In time, you could conjure up a smile instantaneously. You will also be able to hold it longer than you can now. You should also be able to really feel it and enjoy it. That’s when you can use it to completely change your day. It’s a super power!

Like many super powers, it has the ability to help others. When you smile joyously at another person, you tend to bring them along with you. You can alter the course of someone’s life by simply smiling at them. You can magically bring them hope and joy with just a few captivating seconds.

Smiling is also free to practice and use and has a positive impact on the smiler and smilee. So we should all practice our own little super power daily; for ourselves and for others.

We all have this super power within us, and for some, it is dormant. Wake it up! Shake it up and get using it more!

7.7 billion people smiling throughout the day. The thought of that brings a big, grinny smile to my face.

Go on. Smile! And then share it with someone.