CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughtsThink About It

Aware

I like to think of people as being aware or not aware of something.

When a person is born, they are not aware of much. They then start becoming aware of things such as their senses and information. Given the amount of general and detailed information available to become aware of on earth, people are often unaware of most things (relative to all things).

Becoming aware can be a factor of age, situation, geography or interest, amongst other routes. For example, most people won’t become aware of the idea of 8 x 8 until they are about 7 years old. The majority of people won’t be aware of the daily routine of a type 1 diabetic, unless they become one, or are very close to someone who has. Additionally, if you grew up in England, especially as a fan of football, you would probably be aware of the significance of 1966. If you grew up in Canada, and followed baseball, probably much less so.

Generally speaking you can become aware of anything, either intentionally or not. But with so many millions of pieces of information available to be aware of, and millions more created every day, we should go a little easy on people who are not aware of the things that we are. Just because a person doesn’t know something about a topic dear to you, doesn’t make them wholly uneducated or ignorant. They are simply unaware of that particular thing. 

For today, try not to judge people based on what they are aware of, but rather, kindly and pleasantly, make them aware of the information you feel is important and assess their response to it.

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CategoriesActionProgressReframe your thoughts

Positive And Enthusiastic

“Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I have loved this quote since I first read it in my early 20’s.

It really struck me as a great philosophy for life and really aligned with how I tried to be. I think about it frequently and try to live this way daily. Some days to a greater degree than others.

A person could say that life has so many challenges and hardships that it would be hard to be positive and enthusiastic. This would ring true if you looked at life from that perspective. Believing you will encounter countless difficult situations in life, however, is all the more reason to be positive and enthusiastic now.

Reasons to be positive and enthusiastic:

Firstly, to keep your own spirits up in the face of challenges and hardships. Secondly, when you appreciate the trillions to one odds of being born. Thirdly, to be a role model to your children, family and friends. Finally, to help lift people up that are going through tough challenges and hardships at this time.

Imagine a world where most people were trying to become the most positive and enthusiastic person they knew. What might that feel like?

If you would like to be a little more positive and enthusiastic, print out, or write out this quote a few times and put it somewhere you will see it throughout your day. You could place this on your dresser, bathroom mirror, dashboard of the car or on your desk where you work. Hopefully it will make you smile each time you see it or think of it. I certainly do.

Then you just need to practice being positive and enthusiastic. Say and do things that will add positively to your relationships today. Say and do things that demonstrate your enthusiasm for your situation and the people around you. It can be a lot of fun, if you let it.

Enjoy!

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CategoriesActionHealth & FitnessThink About ItTimeWeight loss

Weigh Less, With One Simple Step Repeated Each Day

Eat less.

Weight loss, through to better health and fitness, is a series of steps.

Step one is eat less. Once a person has been doing this successfully for a few weeks, they can look into several more advanced steps such as starting to exercise or doing more of it, tracking calories, buying healthier foods and preparing better meals with a better range of nutrients.

Too often people will try to change everything at once. Since these more advanced steps all take up time, require some level of learning and must be integrated into your current lifestyle, it is very difficult to start all of them at one time and do them all on a sustained basis. Usually people haven’t allowed for all the extra time it takes to add these into their life.

Save yourself all that time required to read labels and count calories, read diet, exercise and recipe books or magazines, join groups, get to the gym or exercise more, learn new recipes and shop for new ingredients and foods. Remember, eating less saves you time!

According to media reports, a lack of time is a leading cause of stress and stress eating. So try this simple step that requires no time investment and even saves you time. You even get the results you want – weight loss. You can get toned, improve health and nutrition later in subsequent steps. Remember c.90% of weight loss is reducing your current food intake.

Even if your current diet consisted of eating six chocolate bars and drinking four colas every day, you could lose weight by simply cutting your intake down to four bars and three colas. You would still drop about 1.5 pounds per week. The mathematics support this, as does the science, and eating less worked in my experience years ago when I dropped 20 pounds in 8 weeks, beginning with step one.

Just eat less.

Try it today. Eat one less helping at a meal, drink one less cola, eat half or two thirds of your regular portion at each meal. In a week you’ll be noticing, and enjoying, the difference,

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CategoriesObserveProgressReframe your thoughtsThink About It

Judging Me Too

A build on yesterday’s post about judging. The opening line was, “It’s something most people do to others”. I should have added, “and ourselves too.” because we know we are frequently our own harshest critic. We take the worst comments people have said about us and absorb those as reality rather than dismissing them as the outliers that they really are.

Use the bell curve, for all comments, to asses where on that spectrum you might realistically be and hold that as your minimum truth. Your mother might think you are amazing so that is an outlier at the one end of the spectrum and your worst critic might say the harshest things, creating an outlier at the other end of the spectrum. Then most of the other people are generally in the middle. Use their commentary on you: Not the worst critic.

Criticising is similar to assessing, though they tend to be the negative and positive word for the action. Then you judge and lock in a conclusion. So be super careful which area on the spectrum you lock in your own judgement. This is not a time to be self-deprecating or shy or to play down anything. This is you, talking to you, and about to pass judgement on yourself. You’ve heard from the various witnesses and you’ve weighed up their comments, within the context they were given, and now it is your turn to assess whether you lock away your potential for a lifetime sentence or if you can see the greatness in you, beyond a reasonable doubt.

If your past has not been well constructed, in the context of all people that have ever lived (not just the saints), then you can start again with a restart. If it has been fairly normal with a mix of good and less than great, you can make things better from this moment. But give yourself a break today. Judge the Whole You, over your lifetime, and not just a few silly mistakes.

You deserve the best mind coach in the world. Start with the one inside you already.

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CategoriesThink About It

Judging

It’s something most people do to others. Though, my hunch is that few of us may like being judged ourselves. This may have more to do with the negative association of judging, that of criminality and being guilty, than actually having someone, “form an opinion or conclusion about” us. (It can be positive, such as in the case of selecting a life partner or date, or noting someone’s positive attributes such as “the most amazing brown eyes”.)

A preferred term for the activity of judging may be assessing. Mainly because it may feel less, well, judgy. However, it does lack the decision or conclusion element which may remove the power behind judging. Assessing seems to indicate you are still working out what to think. Whereas judging seems to have drawn a final conclusion.

So when you hear someone say, “don’t judge me”, or “you have no right to judge me”, it probably tells us more about them (possibly feeling guilty), than anything else. The person may also be demonstrating that they do not fully understand the deep survival mechanism inherent in judging.

As humans, as with probably any living species, we are constantly assessing and evaluating our surroundings for dangers, opportunities, threats and means of survival. This assessing, and then judging, is an in-built, hard wired, millions of years DNA thing. Not something that is easily changed.

Maybe everyone should just learn to get more comfortable with being judged. I’ll start.

If you like what you’ve read, click the ? below.

Go ahead and do the same on my other posts you’ve enjoyed.

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CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughtsThink About It

Stories We Tell Ourselves

Stories are often easier to remember than just the facts on their own. Additionally, stories tend to have more depth and nuance than facts, so they tend to invoke specific feelings. Stories can also be embellished, intentionally or unknowingly. With stories, we can highlight different elements depending on our mood, our audience or our intent.

A simple example of this is how you describe the big party you attended Saturday night. It is usually a little differently highlighted when retelling it to your friends rather then your boss or mother-in-law.

Stories are also personal. Those that strike a chord with us are more easily remembered. Given that decisions are based on emotions first, and personal stories are in our lives because they invoke an emotion, we probably allow stories too much influence over many of our own decisions in life.

“I would do that, but I am not smart enough.” “I have always struggled with my weight.” “My mother always said I was like that.” “I won’t go for that promotion because my teacher said I wasn’t very good at public speaking.” “I’m too old.”

These are all examples of the type of stories that hold people back from achieving their personal potential.

However, as with a tv (or website), we can change the channel and thereby the story that it is playing. Although we can choose to stay on this channel, while we believe and live out the current stories we tell ourselves, we can also choose to change the channel and change the stories we tell ourselves. You always have a choice.

Listen closely to those unhelpful stories that swirl in your head and are too readily voiced.

Then, create new, more empowering, and exciting stories for your life. And repeat.

Go on. Change the channel.

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CategoriesProgressReframe your thoughts

Restarts

Sometimes we drop the ball. It happens to everyone. We’re going along nicely with our skill or habit and then boom, we lose it. People always fall off course, either from something they do themselves or because of some event that affects them.

The secret is in quickly restarting. Don’t wait a day or two until you feel like restarting or trying again. Don’t let the pressure or guilt get to you.

When you fall off a bike, you get back on it quickly and try again. Same with diets. If you have something to eat that wasn’t going to help you reach your ultimate goal, don’t say, “I’ll start next week”. Or tomorrow. Say, I made a mistake but my goal is important and I am getting back on track right now,

James Clear, author of the NYT bestselling book Atomic Habits, says it quite simply, “Never miss twice”. So you can miss a habit once and that’s just life. But if you miss twice, you’re actually starting a new habit. And it doesn’t sound like a good habit either.

I’ve talked about getting started with Start Me Up, being clear on The Finish Line, and now how to Restart. These are three cornerstone components to building great habits.

Remember, never miss twice, and restart immediately.

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CategoriesProgressThink About It

The Finish Line

Where is the finish line? For many things, it’s hard to tell where the finish line is. If you were running in an athletics event on a track, you would know where the finish line was. This is important. Knowing where you must push hard to, before you can rest, is usually critical in getting the best result.

In athletics, I was taught to run through the finish line. It was suggested that I run an extra meter or two so I didn’t let up at the line and allow someone to pass me by a nose.

Life’s like this too. You should make sure you know where the finish line is: precisely. Then you need to go really hard at it and run through it.

Without a finish line, you could find yourself going around and around (like on a track) and not ever feeling finished. This can become disheartening.

With a finish line, you know exactly what you need to cover (100m, 200m, 3,000m, etc.). Like in athletics, you should be clear with your activity and what you must complete to cross the finish line.

When you cross the finish line, celebrate!

Life is a series of 100 meter sprints which, when combined, are the distance of a marathon (or ultra marathon). Remember to celebrate completing each one, not just the very last one.

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CategoriesActionProgressThink About It

Start Me Up

The first step often can feel like a giant leap for mankind: Too big. Getting started can be such a challenge. And yet, it is instrumental in getting to the second step and then ultimately success.

There are different ways to get started. You can countdown if you are NASA or Mel Robbins – 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… You can put it in your calendar and block a specific time on an exact date. This is described as the Seven Day Success Cycle in my video “ETRR 13” on the Videos page of this blog site. There are other ways too.

Whichever method you use to get started, remember that your environment should help support you. If you go for a run in the morning, make sure your clothes are out and ready and your shoes are at the door before you go to bed. Any other items you need for the run should also be set out neatly the night before. Set up your environment for absolute success while the intentions are high. Do not wait to see how you feel in the morning, you’ll rarely feel like it.

Once you’ve taken that first step, be sure to celebrate. This is the hardest step so it deserves the most celebrating. Every time you start something new or start on the next step, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. Well done.

Now Get Started! With a little momentum you’ll start to feel unstoppable: Like a rolling stone.

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CategoriesGoals, Results & New ThinkingReframe your thoughtsTime

New Beginnings

Setting off in a new direction can be both exciting and intimidating. The future could bring untold opportunity or challenges.

Regardless of what is to come, or how the change has come about, or whether you wanted the change or not, the best thing you can do is to take a deep breath, stand tall, smile and go forward, with an open mind and the confidence that things tend to work out well for those looking for things to work out well.

We can focus on the past, the “what could have been’s“, the plans you had, etc., but that is over now and new paths are to be forged. Allow yourself 5 minutes to mourn your loss, and not more, because every minute of life is too precious to dwell on unavailable paths.

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