Scott, Author at Scott's Thinking

The Sounds Of Children Playing

Posted on November 12, 2020

Playgrounds and schoolyards can be immensely fun and filled with energy, excitement and enthusiasm. The sounds of children playing can be music to our ears.

We live near a primary school, which has it’s pros and cons. Certainly one of the pros, for me, is that every weekday, for the entire lunch period, I can hear the frolicking fun being had by all. It does bring a smile to my face as I hear the enjoyable mixing of their fluctuating voices.

Not only is it fun to hear them and imagine them playing games like ‘it’, but it is fun to reminisce too. Thinking back to the times when you were 6 or 9 is always interesting. What games did you play? Who were your very good friends? What did you do and talk about for an hour at lunch?

It is fun to think back and remember the easier memories and also stretch your mind to recall other things that have more dust on them. It can be pleasant, painful and helpful to remind oneself of the days of their childhood. You can learn a lot about where you are now but understanding how you were then.

They’ve gone inside now. The playground has fallen quiet.

There can be a hollow emptiness once you can no longer hear the sounds of children playing.

Action Observe Think About It

How Do You Decide?

Posted on November 11, 2020

Decisions are based on feelings. But there are reasons behind them. Though often they are difficult to deconstruct. How do you decide?

People start with a gut instinct or initial reaction. This kind of thinking allows you to swerve your car or bike in a split second to avoid hitting a pedestrian. It can also be used when meeting a new friend or partner.

This fast decision making is based on our natural instincts and personal experience. Sometimes it serves us very well and saves our life. It is often referred to as ‘quick thinking’. This is more of a reactionary mode with little time, if any, spent on processing new information.

Other times, we make a decision but we don’t act quickly with it. We will observe, question, theorise and consider evidence a little more. You can recognise this when speaking to someone as they take time to reflect and give the idea some consideration before replying.

In the later, people who have ‘mulled it over’ have a better understanding of themselves and why they are making the decision. If you simply react, you are not open to new information and dismiss it as wrong or unnecessary.

If you don’t reflect, you may not understand what values and priorities drive your decision making. You’ll grow more if you do.

How do you decide?

Observe Reframe your thoughts

Normalisation Has Pros And Cons

Posted on November 10, 2020

Normal and normalising sound like good words to me. However, they have a darker side that receives less attention. Normalisation has pros and cons and you are better prepared if you know some of them.

Normal sounds regular, acceptable, average and uncontroversial. It has a nice sound to it. For example, ‘She seems fairly normal’, or, ‘We need to normalise relations with them’ have a positive tone to them.

Although it does depend on what you deem acceptable for normal and what you are comfortable with. Is smoking normal? If you ask a group of smokers, the answer is more likely to be yes. For fresh air advocates, rolling up dried leaves, setting it on fire and inhaling it may not seem normal.

So perhaps we note that you hold the belief that smoking is not normal or desirable. However, you might meet someone interesting and later on find out they smoke. Gradually, through numerous interactions with the person, you may start to normalise smoking. Your graduated exposure to smoking and the brand enhancement it receives being associated to a likeable person makes it less unpalatable.

If five more friendly smokers join your new group, you may find yourself moving from neutral to engaged and begin smoking.

Normalisation has pros and cons.

Action Progress Reframe your thoughts

Selection Is Critical

Posted on November 9, 2020

Freedom of choice is a powerful thing. Selection is critical in choosing your health, your career, your partner, your income, your thoughts and actions.

Sometimes people don’t realise there are choices. Or they know but are so dismissive of all of their other known choices that they stick to only one. You select the input for your life. You decide which media you choose to follow and influence your thoughts and philosophy.

Just like a media outlet chooses which story goes up as the lead story, you choose the thoughts you want to focus on. The media outlet employees find the ideal picture to accompany their story and the angle they have selected to run with.

We often unconsciously go ahead with certain thoughts and actions because they feel good and are comforting. We call the same friends, read the same news and watch the same shows. Sometimes we need that. But to grow, we are better off mixing it up a little. Go learn something new or different. Become a bit uncomfortable. Select things you wouldn’t normally choose.

I do that a lot with news, views and foods. I have rarely had a bad experience and I always find out more about myself and the world.

Selection is critical. Be wise as you improve your environment.

Observe Think About It

Life Isn’t Fair

Posted on November 8, 2020

We all want life to be fair. We want a fair match when we watch sports, a fair hearing in court and a fair interview in our career. However, life isn’t fair. Or at least, most people can’t see how it is fair in some circumstances.

I have found that remembering that life isn’t fair is very helpful during challenging times. It comes back to the expectation versus reality gap. If you expect life to be fair, every time you don’t think it is, you will be frustrated.

My children hear this phrase frequently too. I remind them that life doesn’t always look fair in the present, the short run or the long run. However, it may be fair eventually, particularly if you believe in karma. Or it may never be fair, especially if you don’t believe there is an entity watching and keeping score.

Though I do suggest to them that they can try to make life fairer by their own thoughts and actions. If someone is having a bad day, they can try to make it better with a kind word or a small token. They can also play by the rules of the game and ensure the people on their team do too.

Life can be tough and life isn’t fair. But we have a responsibility to try to ensure it is as fair as possible.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

You Find What You Are Looking For

Posted on November 7, 2020

You can find good in a person. And you can find bad. Just like a coin, there are two sides. However, you find what you are looking for so step back and assess your search criteria.

If you only want to focus on one side of a coin, that is all you will ever see. You will not understand what the observers of the other side of the coin are referring to, if you never go and have a good look.

Now you may prefer the head of the coin for a number of reasons. Or you may prefer the tail. But just because you focus on one side only, doesn’t mean the other side doesn’t exist. And people may find value and joy in looking at the side which isn’t your preference. That doesn’t make looking at, or liking, the other side wrong. It just makes it different from your perspective.

It is simply diversity of thought. However, sometimes people want diversity as long as it is the same as their ideas. Being a true advocate of diversity often entails understanding ideas that you may not like or agree with. It depends if you are looking to understand someone’s preferences or looking for reasons why their point of view is inferior. Different doesn’t have to mean worse.

You find what you are looking for.

Action Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts Weight loss

Why It Is So Hard To Change

Posted on November 6, 2020

Common phrases like, “I keep trying”, “I can’t lose weight”, and “I’m not good enough”, hold people back. In part, this is why it is so hard to change.

When you want to change something in your life, you need to move from uncomfortable to unstoppable as quickly as you can. Part of the problem is wanting to have different results without doing things differently. Improvement usually requires a change in thoughts and actions. And these tend to make us uncomfortable, so we stop.

Think of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. It doesn’t stick a couple of wings on and fly off. It fully commits to its transformation. The caterpillar has to leave its old life behind to emerge into its new life. It is still the same ‘me’ once it is a butterfly. Though it is a different ‘me’ from before.

The butterfly has shifted from a creepy crawler to a beautiful, slim, flying machine. That is the power of the growth mindset – the will to grow into something magical and willing to leave their old life behind, never to return to it. I know it is uncomfortable at first when going through any change. However, as you shift your mindset and your body, the sooner you will be transformed.

Allow yourself to leave the the old you behind. Commit to the new you and fully embrace it.

Eliminate the number one reason why it is so hard to change.

Gratitude Observe Progress Think About It

The Big Stuff Is Behind Us

Posted on November 5, 2020

It’s easy to find something to complain about. There are even times that certain people will go as far as outrage. The big stuff is behind us though. Not that the world can’t be an even better place with a little more tinkering. However, we need some balance to ensure the tinkering doesn’t go too far.

What I mean is this. There is a lot more acceptance between people on the big things. In most of the 37 OECD countries there are few, if any, major rights not available to all people. All races and genders are able to freely vote. People have the right to liberty and freedom of expression and religion.

There is an abundance of opportunity for all people. The majority of people in these countries seem to be fine with where things are at. Yes, there will always be small groups or individuals that feel that the laws and norms don’t quite work for them. The good news is that those people can work towards having things improved for them.

Now, we can still tip into an abyss. However, it is ever less likely to happen. As people continue to get comfortable with improving standards of living, fewer will want to wage wars, riot or remove socially agreed basic human rights.

The big stuff is behind us.

Action Gratitude Health & Fitness Think About It

Find Something To Smile About

Posted on November 4, 2020

Depressing thoughts or simply regular, everyday things can send you in the wrong direction. But you can find something to smile about and change the direction of your day!

Think about something that can make you smile. Isolate just that moment in your mind. Transport yourself there and block out all other thoughts. Savour the moment and smile.

For example, I can think of receiving a massive hug from daughter. Other times, I will go back in time to 1979 when the Pittsburgh Pirates won the World Series. As a fan of baseball, Willie Stargell, underdogs and ‘never give up, come from behind’ wins, that memory always gets a smile.

So find a few of these moments in your memory. You may have to do some searching through the past if you don’t have one easily accessible. You can also create a visualisation of a happy time you expect to have in the future. Though be careful not to create an unnecessary expectation versus reality gap that you’ll have to address later if it doesn’t happen.

Once you have those happy memories you can remember, practice accessing them every hour. This will help you develop a happiness habit that could have you smiling numerous times every day. It’s a nice circuit breaker during days that may not have the opportunity to create new smile-worthy memories.

Find something to smile about.

Observe Think About It

What An Election!

Posted on November 3, 2020

Very tense moments. Emotional roller coaster. So many plot twists and great uncertainty. Who will play the leads in the movie? What an election!

I wrote this early on, before the in person, on-the-day voting started. So I have no idea while writing this, how things turn out. I just foresee it being an exciting night of tension, emotion and high drama. Entertaining!

Did it landslide to the left? Or did it landslide to the right? Are they down to one last voting district that will decide the whole thing? Maybe they are recounting. Oddly, despite lots of pre-election time to vote in person or by mail, some states have allowed people to go past the voting deadline of 3rd November. That seems to be asking for a bit of unnecessary confusion and court involvement.

Neither candidate will want to concede right away if it is super close in some key states. You wouldn’t either after all your effort, money and campaigning.

So unless it is a landslide in the electoral college with no close calls that would change anything, we could have a few weeks of legal battles to get through.

I believe both men will accept the result if it looks fair and convincing or if the Supreme Court needs to rule on it.

Hopefully that won’t be necessary.

What an election!