When people generalise they often don’t have the detail or they do but it won’t help their cause. So you need to dig for the detail. Ask the questions. Don’t get palmed off. Request the detail as they should want to share that with you if they are open minded.
Stay focused on the kind of life you want to live. Whether it’s selfish, giving, philanthropic, classy, stoic or even solitary, just do the thing that will make you happy and your family and friends proud to know you.
Because life can be pretty full on, fast paced, full and exhausting, our brains naturally look for shortcuts. They want to use the least amount of energy and do the minimal amount of work.
For these reasons, it prefers shortcuts, generalisations, easy references and common phrases especially when they work with any biases we are holding.
We tend to use words from our work or industry, religion or culture. Doctors may use the term ‘stat’, office workers will ‘circle back’ and sportspeople get ‘in the zone’.
It is unlikely, or rare, to hear people using other groups’ words or terms. It’s hard to imagine an NBA coach telling his players to pass the ball to the point guard stat.
This helps explain why people that watch the same news channels or read similar newspapers, will see things similarly and speak the same.
Rather than think things through, and assess things in their own mind, the shortcut is to accept what they are hearing and seeing, summarise it in generalisations and pass it on. People in their group think will understand the summary terms and distill it further. Like the telephone game, the theme may remain similar but the actual details may get distorted.
Don’t let this happen to you. Think for yourself. Put the extra bit of work in, especially if you will get involved in a conversation. Also give people time and space to reflect and ask questions. Allow people to think, even if it’s different to you.
If you know something needs to be done, do it. If someone is going to ask, do it before they ask. Help where you can, before being asked or commanded. Think ahead and be helpful.
Sometimes it’s a rather short time we have with people. Focus on enjoying the time together.
Spend energy on critical things. You only have so much energy in a day. Spend it wisely on things that you really care about or that will move the needle for you.
Spend more on a few finer things because you are a good person. Don’t always just take the cheapest. Pay a little more for a better experience. You’ll be glad you did. And you are likely to never remember the extra bit of cost.
Movement is very beneficial to your body and mind. Rivers flow, winds blow, seasons change and the world is renewed through movement.
So move your body more today. Think different thoughts. You don’t have to accept them as true but try sitting with those thoughts for a minute or two. Move them around in your mind. Look at the ideas from different angles. Stretch yourself to understand the idea even if you don’t accept it as your preferred thought.
Look for unique opportunities or simply better situations and options than you have now. Create a curiosity mindset and an opportunity mindset so that your mind is always in search mode. You will find amazing things by training your mind in this way.
People in general have a tendency to agree or acquiesce to their tribe or community perception. Going against that view has historically seen you cast out from that section of society.
Consider Snowball in Animal Farm, the Truckers in Canada or people who appreciate law and order.
The leader will throw you out if they sniff any dissenting view, or they can create rules or expectations to follow which their knowing followers can use to sideline people with a diverse point of view.
Here we can reflect on The Ten Commandments, Laws and societal norms of the time. These allow people to shun others who don’t follow the chosen value path.
Everyday you make choices which require you to decide which is more important to you, the acceptance from your valued tribe or taking things a step closer to unity involving both sides, not just one side.
